Education About Education

July 29, 2015July 29, 2015 fasab Current Events, Rants ability, afford it, americans, auto-loan debt, college, college graduates, colleges, contemporaries, cost of a college education, credit card debt, crunch some numbers, debate, degree, education, electricians, essential trades, expenses, expensive, facts, fixated, food for thought, go to college, good paying jobs, graduate, heavy cost to pay, housing, important questions, inflation, information, kids going to college, learning, limited, lucrative, lumbered with a loan, manual, money, more opportunities, office jobs, Opinion, other opportunities, parents, percentage, plumber, plumbers, Rants, right career path, school, shortage, skill, student, student loan, student loan debt, students, Thoughts, time, trade, Travel, tuition fees, turning their noses up, United States, universities, university, US, workplace, young Americans

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Today a little education about education.

First I’ll crunch some numbers, as I like to do.

4,726 = the number of colleges and universities United States.

$589 billion = the amount spent by students annually.

Of that figure,

$393 billion = tuition fees, and

$196 billion = expenses like travel and housing.

538% = the percentage increase of the cost of a college education over the past three decades.

4.5 = the number times more expensive it is to go to college today than it was back in 1985, even allowing for inflation.

So is the cost worth it?

Does the education system make sense?

The vast majority of Americans never even consider these important questions. They are fixated on their kids going to college – end of debate.

Whether they have the ability or not, or whether it is the right career path for them or not, if the parents can afford it and/or the kids can get a student loan (which they usually can) then they go to college.

But there is a heavy cost to pay, as we have just seen above. By the time they graduate 70% of students are lumbered with a loan balance averaging $28,400. Nationwide in the US, student loan debt now sits at a staggering $1.2 trillion, which is nearly 50% higher than all the outstanding auto-loan debt, and almost double credit card debt.

While it is true that college graduates have more opportunities to earn more than those without a degree, the number of those good paying jobs is limited. Most college graduates have to settle for a lot less that they were planning for when they started that expensive college education.

What is often forgotten is that there are many other opportunities out there in the workplace for someone who spends their time and money learning a trade or a skill. A friend of mine who is a plumber earns many times more than many of his contemporaries with college degrees and office jobs.

In fact, since more and more young Americans are turning their noses up at manual type jobs and opting for expensive colleges, there will soon be a shortage of essential trades such as plumbers, electricians and so forth, making those jobs even more lucrative than they are now.

Food for thought for the future perhaps.

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Make Sure You Smile – It’s Fact Day.

March 31, 2015March 29, 2015 fasab Factoids, Unusual 18th century, 9 volumes, accomplishments, affairs with women, animal attacks on humans, attentive seducer, ban on frowning, best-selling truck, best-selling vehicle in America, Casanova, cuddle hormone, deaths, Dickens, dog, eaten alive, education, Entertainment, equator, Europeans, executing people by guillotine, eyes, eyes blink, fact, factoid, factoids, facts, fake bookcase, fake books, fine, first black astronaut, first black astronaut in space, Florida, Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission, ford, Ford F-150, Ford's F-150, found the last survivor, France, funerals, German Shepherd, Giacomo Casanova, Guion Bluford, happier, history, history’s most heroic animals, hospital visits, infested, information, International Space Hall of Fame, island, Italian adventurer, Italian city, Japanese troops, Keystone Heights, lecher, legal requirement to smile, Massive Ordinance Air Blast bomb, Middle Ages, Milan, MOAB, most powerful non-nuclear bomb, Mother of All Bombs, movie theatres, nobleman, pet, petting an animal, Pinon Road, Ramree Island, releases oxytocin in our brains, Robert Henry Lawrence Jr, saltwater crocodiles, secret door, September 11, serious injuries, seven hours of equal length, shelves, smile all the time, speaks more than one language, Star Wars A New Hope, summer, summer days, survivor detection dog, The Life of a Cat, time, Trakr, trampolines, trivia, turtles, United States Astronaut Hall of Fame, US. Military, winter, winter hour, World Trade Center attack, world’s greatest disaster, world’s population, WWII

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

It’s not that the facts today are particularly funny, in fact some of them are the exact opposite.

But if you are in Milan and reading this post I bet you are smiling anyway.

Find out why.

Enjoy.

Trakr, a German shepherd survivor detection dog,

made history when he became the dog that found the

last survivor of the World Trade Center attack on September 11.

For his accomplishments, Trakr was named

one of history’s most heroic animals by Time.

Trakr died in 2009 at age fourteen.

75% of the world’s population

speaks more than one language,

but 75% of the world’s population

speak no English.

Having a pet makes you happier

because petting an animal

releases oxytocin in our brains,

which is sometimes known as

the “cuddle hormone”.

The eyes blink on an average of

17 times per minute,

that’s 14,280 times per day

or 5.2 million times a year.

In the early Middle Ages,

Europeans divided the day

into seven hours of equal length and,

because summer days are longer than winter ones,

a winter hour was about sixty minutes,

but a summer one was about 150 minutes.

A little bit confusing I think.

Trampolines contribute to at least

two deaths and numerous serious injuries

each year.

Giacomo Casanova was an 18th century

Italian adventurer and nobleman famous for

his numerous elaborate affairs with women.

Today, if a man is referred to as a ‘Casanova’,

it can mean anything from an

attentive seducer to a mere lecher.

In January 2012, dozens of turtles

were found dead in Keystone Heights, Florida,

at the end of Pinon Road.

No one, including the

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission,

has been able to figure out what happened.

The most powerful non-nuclear bomb

ever created by the US military is the

Massive Ordinance Air Blast bomb,

better known as ‘MOAB’.

It is also more popularly known as

the “Mother of All Bombs”.

Charles Dickens’s house had a secret door

in the form of a fake bookcase.

The fake books on its shelves included

titles such as ‘The Life of a Cat’

in 9 volumes of course.

Ford’s F-150 has been the best-selling

vehicle in America for the past 33 years

and the best-selling truck since 1977.

Ford have sold over 34,000,000 of them

since they started production in 1948.

Last year alone they sold 753,851,

which is an incredible 2,065 a day,

or one every 35 seconds.

If you parked every Ford F-150

ever made side by side,

they would stretch for 49,802 miles (80,150 km),

the equivalent to twice around the Equator.

The first black astronaut was Robert Henry Lawrence Jr.,

but he died before he could travel to space.

The first black astronaut in space

(spending more then 28 days there)

was Guion Bluford in 1983.

He was inducted into the

International Space Hall of Fame in 1997 and into

the United States Astronaut Hall of Fame in 2010.

The world’s greatest disaster suffered

as a result of animal attacks on humans

happened on Ramree Island during WWII.

The island is infested with saltwater crocodiles

and nearly 500 Japanese troops were eaten alive there.

When Star Wars: A New Hope was

first being shown in movie theaters

France was still executing people by guillotine.

Ending today’s facts on a happy note,

if you want to visit Milan, Italy,

make sure to smile all the time as the

Italian city has imposed a ban on frowning.

It is a legal requirement to smile at all times,

except during funerals or hospital visits.

If you don’t you can face a fine.

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All The Good Puns About The Periodic Table Argon!

May 15, 2014May 11, 2014 fasab comedy, Humour, Language, Puns 24/7, abused, amusing, angry, answering machine, antiques, argon, assholes, bad jokes, Black, blackbelt, broken, bungalow, business, buy curios, chewing gum, coffee, Comedy, competition, dog, drunk, DVD collection, Entertainment, fighter, fortnight, funny, gay, getting it off the ground, great jokes, groans, guilty party, house, Humor, Humour, James Bond, jokes, lady, loses her rag, lost my job, Mr Rhetorical, next door, office, Opinion, orange juice with pulp, overreaction, pun, pun day, punctuation, puns, questions, recycling, remembered, Shopping, social networking sites, staggering, start up, steal, steps, stupid, supermarket, taken the lead, Tampax, terrible jokes, The Bluetones, the family dog, The Living Daylights, time, trousers kept falling down, TV program, two weeks, watch, whisky, wife, word play

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

In case you hadn’t guessed from the title, it’s Pun Day again.

Another selection of great jokes or terrible jokes depending on your point of view.

So get those groans ready.

Enjoy or endure!

The time will never be wrong.

Not on my watch.

I used to live in a normal house,

but then steps were taken to make it into a bungalow.

My dog has just eaten my entire James Bond DVD collection.

Luckily I managed to beat The Living Daylights out of him.

I got an answering machine today but I think it’s broken.

I’ve asked it loads of questions and nothing’s happening.

My wife lost her Tampax and got really angry.

I hate it when she loses her rag.

I’ve finally remembered the word that

I’ve been thinking about for two weeks.

It’s ‘fortnight.’

Me and my mate are having a competition

to see who can steal the most dog related stuff

from next door’s house.

I’ve just taken the lead….

They call me Mr Rhetorical.

Can you guess why?

I’m looking to start up my own business,

recycling discarded chewing gum.

Just need help getting it off the ground.

My whisky kept going missing so I confronted the wife.

She told me that the guilty party was the family dog.

I found it staggering.

I lost my job today because I said the office is full of assholes.

Bit of an overreaction to my opinion about a TV program I think.

What’s black and gets abused 24/7

on social networking sites?

Punctuation!

I’m a much better fighter now that I have a blackbelt.

I was hopeless when my trousers kept falling down.

Shopping for antiques won’t make you gay,

but it will make you buy curios.

A lady at the supermarket asked me if I’ve ever drunk orange juice with pulp.

I said, “No, but I once had coffee with The Bluetones.”

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Golf: Putting The Putting Into Putting!

December 5, 2013December 2, 2013 fasab comedy, Humour, Language, Puns accident, actress, amusing, anagram, audition, bad jokes, bath, big club, billboard, bloke, casting, changing room, clouds, club, Comedy, cramped, Daniel, dark, dead lion, denial, dictionary, drive them bananas, Entertainment, fattest man in Britain, feed gorillas, fence, Future Events, gate, golf club, Humor, Humour, joke, jokes, jungle, knife, Life, math class, Misc, Miscellaneous, misleading, more living space, movie, Name, nut shell, overcast, play on words, Poole, pregnant, Psycho, pun, pun day, puns, pygmy, rats, Reese Witherspoon, relocated, safety in numbers, same, secretary, self defense lessons, silly jokes, stabbed, stealing, stupid, stupid jokes, terms, things to come, time, under rated, watch, wife, woke up, word play, word play jokes, word plays, work, zoo, Zulu

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

As if you didn’t know from the title – it’s pun day again!

More word play jokes to be enjoyed or endured depending on your taste.

Try them out.

And enjoy!

My wife and I were happy for 25 years.

Then we met.

I went for an audition the other day.

They were casting 13 people to be clouds.

14 showed up.

It was overcast.

Billy: “Did you that movie yesterday where

the actress that was stabbed by a psycho?

Reese…what’s her name?”

Tommy: “Witherspoon?”

Billy: “No with a knife.”

Have you ever had an accident at work?

Yes, my secretary is pregnant.

Rats are under rated.

Just check your dictionary.

I woke up this morning and there was a bloke stealing my gate.

I didn’t want to say anything in case he took a fence.

The fattest man in Britain has recently relocated

from Bath to Poole as he ‘needs more living space’.

Some terms are really misleading.

I went into the changing room several times.

It was still the same.

I used to feed gorillas at the Zoo from a distance using a golf club.

I’d drive them bananas.

I was asked to describe my life in a nut shell.

“Very dark and cramped,” I replied.

I lost my watch earlier.

I would have looked for it but I didn’t have the time.

My friend Daniel wouldn’t believe me when

I told him that his name was an anagram.

He’s in denial.

I was going to start taking self defense lessons

but I decided on a math class instead.

I’m a firm believer there’s safety in numbers.

I saw a billboard on the way to work this

morning that read “Future Events.”

Well, that’s a sign of things to come.

A Zulu walking through the jungle comes across a pygmy standing over a dead lion.

“Did you kill that lion?” asks the Zulu.

“Yeah, I beat it to death with my club,” the pygmy replies.

“Wow, you must have a big club,” says the Zulu.

“Yes,” replies the pygmy. “There’s about thirty of us.”

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I Never Contradict Myself, But I Do Sometimes.

October 10, 2013October 7, 2013 fasab comedy, Humour, Language, Puns Alfred Hitchcock, amusing, anarchy, bad jokes, bank, blood, boat, bookcase, bread factory, Comedy, Communists, crazy, cutting-hedge, decimal numbers, drug rehab centre, Dustin Hoffman, English teacher, Entertainment, film, France, funfair, funny, groom, handled it better, heated, Hollywood producers, Humor, Humour, intern, Janet Leigh, jokes, knife, laxatives company, liquidated, low income, manager, Marx, me, microwave, motel, mother, movie, myself, new door, No pain no gain, Noah, Norman Bates, nudist camp, packaging, photocopier, plagiarizing, play on words, presidents, Psychobabble, pun, puns, secretary, sharp knife, shears, shower, silly jokes, slit my shelf, society, stab, steal, storefront sign, stupid, stupid jokes, swings and roundabouts, teacher, time, Tracey, Tutsi, Unicorns, watch, wedding, wicker furniture, without a hitch, word play, word plays, work experience, Zulu warrior

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, another day to play with words, or on words, or perhaps a bit of both.

Whatever you think is more appropriate, enjoy!

“Welcome to the society of people scared of decimal numbers.”

“I’m glad I managed to round you all up”

Two communists in a nudist camp.

One says to other “have you read marx comrade?”

The other replied “Yes I think its the wicker furniture.”

The photocopier in my office broke.

So I called in my secretary, Tracey.

It might be me, but I just can’t think

of a better word to describe myself.

Norman Bates, motel, shower, stab, blood,

Alfred Hitchcock, secretary, mother, knife,

Janet Leigh, bank, steal.

That’s just Psychobabble.

When I worked at the funfair I used to think

that life was all swings and roundabouts.

I went crazy after I couldn’t open the new door I’d just fitted.

In hindsight I should have handled it better.

My teacher asked me to name all the presidents,

which is ridiculous as they already have names.

I had a scary moment when I was taking the packaging off

my expensive new bookcase with a sharp knife.

I damn near slit my shelf.

My wife couldn’t believe she got sacked for

misplacing the company’s new storefront sign.

She’s lost four words.

Someone just robbed me and stole my watch.

I would have chased them,

but I didn’t have the time.

It’s the final of the Microwave Challenge Contest tonight.

Things will get heated.

My English teacher accused me of plagiarizing everything I write.

I didn’t make this up.

Hollywood producers are in talks with Dustin Hoffman

to star in a film about a Zulu warrior who dresses as a woman

to try and make it as an actor.

They’re going to call it Tutsi.

Workers protested at a bread factory

in France because of their low income.

Their manager comes up and says,

“No pain, no gain.”

I used to own a laxatives company.

Business was hard at first and it was eventually liquidated.

“Well we’re not getting on your big boat.”

the two Unicorns told Noah.

It was anarchy.

Just bought a really basic pair of shears.

They’re not cutting hedge anyway.

I did some work experience at a drug rehab centre.

They were very thorough: they left no intern stoned.

The last wedding I was invited to went off without a hitch.

The groom didn’t turn up.

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Crikey! Not Another Quiz?

May 20, 2013 fasab Factoids, Questions, Tests, Unusual 1783, 1840, abstemious, actress, americans, answers, Apollo, Apollo 11 mission, apollo mission, Arab countries, baseballs, basketballs, battle, Battle of the Alamo, Beam me up Scotty, bowling, Caryn Elaine Johnson, country, crew, difficult, displayed, easy, education, Entertainment, facetious, first country to issue postage stamps, first person, first to land men on the Moon, footballs, former name, French speaking city, frisbees, hot air balloon, household dust, invented, iran, items, keyboards, known, last men to set foot on the moon, left handed people, legendary, lives longer, markings on dice, Misc, Miscellaneous, mission, Monday, Name, nationality, noteworthy, on average, outsells, Paris, peculiar, puzzle, puzzles, question, questions, quiz, quizzes, Random, random selection, Red Cross, right handed people, safe to drink, sci fi tv, sci-fi, second largest, series star trek, ship, squiggly line, star trek, test, tests, The Alamo, three consecutive strikes, time, toilet, tricky, TV series, Unusual, US, watch advertisements, water, who invented basketball, ~

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, I’m afraid so. Another Monday quiz to get the brain working for the rest of the week.

As usual we have a varied and random selection of questions, some easy, some tricky, but most of them difficult enough.

Especially if you don’t know the answers, which as ever are given waaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

Q 1: Who invented Basketball and what was his nationality?

Well, okay, that’s a pretty tough one to begin with, so you get a point just for getting the nationality right.

Q 2: What are three consecutive strikes in bowling called?

Q 3: By what name is the Red Cross known in Arab countries?

Q 4: What is most household dust is made up of?

Q 5: Who was the first person on the sci-fi TV series Star Trek to say the words, “Beam me up, Scotty”?

Q 6: Two legendary Americans were among those who died at the battle of The Alamo.

Can you name at least one?

Q 7: Who lives longer on average, right handed people, or left handed people?

Q 8: In the U.S, which one of these four items outsells the other three combined?

Baseballs

Basketballs

Frisbees

Footballs

Q 9: You have seen this many many times but have you noticed it?

What is the time displayed on most watch advertisements?

Q 10: What is peculiar, unusual or noteworthy about the words “facetious” and “abstemious”?

Q 11: It is well known that the Apollo 11 mission was the first to land men on the Moon.

But the crew from which Apollo mission were the last men to set foot on the moon?

Q 12: On a ship what is a toilet called?

Q 13: What is the name of the squiggly line “~” on keyboards?

Q 14: By what name is actress Caryn Elaine Johnson better known?

Q 15: What was the first country to issue postage stamps in 1840?

Q 16: What was the former name of the country now known as Iran?

Q 17: In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented where?

Q 18: What are the markings that are found on dice called?

Q 19: Water that is safe to drink is referred to as what?

Q 20: What is the second largest French speaking city after Paris?

ANSWERS

Q 1: Who invented Basketball and what was his nationality?

A 1: James Naismith in 1891. He was Canadian.

Q 2: What are three consecutive strikes in bowling called?

A 2: A turkey

Q 3: By what name is the Red Cross known in Arab countries?

A 3: The Red Crescent

Q 4: What is most household dust is made up of?

A 4: Most household dust is made up of dead skin cells.

Q 5: Who was the first person on the sci-fi TV series Star Trek to say the words, “Beam me up, Scotty”?

A 5: Nobody. Contrary to popular myth, they NEVER said “Beam me up, Scotty” on Star Trek.

Q 6: Two legendary Americans were among those who died at the battle of The Alamo.

Can you name at least one?

A 6: Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett

Q 7: Who lives longer on average, right handed people, or left handed people?

A 7: Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

Q 8: In the U.S, which one of these four items outsells the other three combined?

Baseballs

Basketballs

Frisbees

Footballs

A 8: In the U.S, frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.

Q 9: You have seen this many many times but have you noticed it?

What is the time displayed on most watch advertisements?

A 9: In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

Q 10: What is peculiar, unusual or noteworthy about the words “facetious” and “abstemious”?

A 10: The words “facetious” and “abstemious” contain all the vowels in the correct order.

Q 11: It is well known that the Apollo 11 mission was the first to land men on the Moon.

But the crew from which Apollo mission were the last men to set foot on the moon?

A 11: Apollo 17

Q 12: On a ship what is a toilet called?

A 12: The head

Q 13: What is the name of the squiggly line “~” on keyboards?

A 13: A tilde

Q 14: By what name is actress Caryn Elaine Johnson better known?

A 14: Whoopi Goldberg

Q 15: What was the first country to issue postage stamps in 1840?

A 15: Great Britain

Q 16: What was the former name of the country now known as Iran?

A 16: Persia

Q 17: In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented where?

A 17: The hot air balloon was invented in France.

Q 18: What are the markings that are found on dice called?

A 18: The markings found on dice are called “pips.”

Q 19: Water that is safe to drink is referred to as what?

A 19: Potable

Q 20: What is the second largest French speaking city after Paris?

A 20: Montreal

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Let’s Have Some More Pun Today

November 15, 2012 fasab comedy, Humour, Language, Puns, Uncategorized, Unusual a feel for it, acupuncture, addicted, anti-gravity, back stabbers, bad jokes, beautiful, blind guy, Braille, clean, click, clone, combing the area, Comedy, curtains, didn't click, down is up, easy on the eyes, education, Einstein, Entertainment, funny, furniture, girl, hair in a bun, hard on the pupils, hares, high school, high school teacher, hitch, hot dog stand, Humor, Humour, inclined, indecisive, indecisive rower, internet, internet cafe, laid back, Misc, Miscellaneous, monorail, movie, oar, on the other hand, one-liner, play on words, police, prices, pun, puns, Random, rising prices, skeptic, soap, space, strict, teacher, theatrical performance, theory, time, trailer, wife, winter jacket, zoo

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Time for a few more puns for those of you who like a bit of word play, or just enjoy some bad jokes dressed up as clever stuff.

Enjoy.

You know prices are rising when you buy a winter jacket and even down is up.

I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn’t click.

Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.

The indecisive rower couldn’t choose either oar.

5000 hares have escaped from the zoo.

The police are combing the area.

The blind guy was sure he could master braille once he got a feel for it.

The trailer for the movie was produced without a hitch!

Did you hear about the beautiful but strict high school teacher?

She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils!

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down.

Scientist one: “I’m going to try to clone myself.”

Scientist two: “Now wouldn’t that be just like you!”

Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

I’m inclined to be laid back.

I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.

Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.

My wife tells me I’m a skeptic – but I don’t believe a word she says.

In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was real.

A pun about a monorail always makes for a decent one-liner!

And finally, did you hear about the girl who got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun?

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Puns For The Educated Mind

September 20, 2012September 26, 2012 fasab comedy, Humour, Language, Puns, Uncategorized, Unusual airplane, Alaska, Aleutian, amusing, arrow, banana, baseball, Brigham Young, Brigham Young University, Buddhism, Buddhist, cannibals, carrion, Comedy, Current Events, democracy, dental medication, drug rehab, electron, Entertainment, envelope, eye doctor, feudalism, fortune teller, France, fruit flies, funnier, funny, grenade, hats, Humor, humorous phrases, Humour, hydrogen, hydrogen atoms, inheritance, joke, jokes, keep off the grass, King Arthur, linoleum, medium, Misc, Miscellaneous, missionary, Mitt Romney, Mormon, moron, mustard gas, Napoleon, novocain, nudist, nudist camp, optical illusion, Paris, pepper spray, pi doctor, play on words, poet, police, politics, positive, pun, puns, push the envelope, raccoons, Random, religion, root canal, seasoned veteran, silk worms, soldier, stationary, stationery, stewardess, still, the Seine, tie, time, time flies, transindental meditation, whiskey, witty

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

According to the dictionary, a pun is the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.

I like puns. Sometimes they can be quite clever and humorous. At other times they can lead to an excruciatingly bad joke, although the worse they are the funnier they seem to be. Strange thing humor.

I have a load of examples in the archives. Here are some to give you a taste of what may be in store.

Enjoy, (I hope)…

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

She was only a whiskey maker,

but he loved her still.

No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery.

Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in

Linoleum Blownapart?

Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie.

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

Apparently Mitt Romney donated the entirety of his inheritance from his father to the Brigham Young University. Is this guy a Moron?

Mitt Romney and Charles Montgomery Burns

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:

“Keep off the Grass.”

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison

was a small medium at large.

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray

is now a seasoned veteran.

A backward poet writes inverse.

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts…

In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

When cannibals ate a missionary,

did they get a taste of religion?

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris ,

you’d be in Seine.

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess looks at him and says,

“I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

His goal: transcend dental medication.

Two hydrogen atoms meet.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?”

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

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More Moron Madness For Monday

September 3, 2012September 26, 2012 fasab Bloopers, comedy, Humour, Quiz Show Answers, tv, Uncategorized, Unusual Aladdin, arachnophobia, Blogs, car, charades, Chicken of the Sea, Comedy, cowboy hats, cowboys, dallas cowboys, David and Goliath, dishwasher, divorce, dog, dracula, driving, education, Entertainment, extreme stupidity, fools, funny, game show, game show host, golf club, hippo, horror movie, Humor, Humour, idiots, Jew, jihad, kitten, luck, measurement of time, Misc, Miscellaneous, morons, Mussolini, new year's eve, People, prostitute, questions, quiz, quiz show, quiz show answers, Random, sex, skydiving, South America, stripper, stupid, stupid people, stupidity, television, television quiz, thanksgiving, time, Turkey, tv, watch, wife

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Crikey! Not only has another Monday arrived with us but now we’re into September, summer is winding down and Autumn beginning. Personally I prefer the Spring time when everything is coming back to life rather than shutting down, but we have to take what we get.

Hope another selection from the quiz show answers archive helps your mood for the beginning of another week.

Enjoy.

Q: Name a seafood that comes in a can, besides tuna

A: Albacore

A: Chicken of the Sea

Q: Name something worn only by children

A: Clothes

Q: The birthday that men dread the most

A: Their wife’s

Q: An activity that is both healthy and fun

A: Sex

Q: Name a kind of bank that doesn’t deal with money

A: Sperm

Q: An attraction you see in every parade

A: Merry-go-round

Q: Name something you put in empty coffee cans

A: Spaghetti

Q: Name a reason you might stay inside on a beautiful day

A: It’s raining

Q: Name a children’s story about an animal

A: David and Goliath

Q: Name a famous woman you wouldn’t want to see wearing a thong

A: Sally the hippo

Q: Name something you hear at a New Year’s Eve party

A: Gunfire

A: A parade

Q: Name a farm animal that people have as a pet

A: Turkey

Q: Name something you rent for one day

A: A stripper

Q: An occupation where someone wears a robe at work

A: Prostitute

Q: Name something you associate with the Dallas Cowboys

A: Cowboy hats

Q: The most lovable breed of dog

A: Kitten

Q: Name something associated with Cuba

A: It’s in South America

Q: Name a character from the movie Aladdin

A: Jihad

Q: Name a Jewish person that had a great impact on society

A: Mussolini

Q: Name a movie with the word “King” in it

A: King Dracula

Q: Name a measurement of time

A: Watch

Q: One thing people do to imitate a dog when playing charades

A: Lift their leg

Q: An appliance you should definitely keep your fingers out of

A: Dishwasher

Q: Name something you think that all drivers, except you, should get a ticket for doing

A: Driving on the median

Q: An animal that starts with the letter A

A: Arachnophobia

Q: Somewhere a man might go after he gets divorced

A: Go buy a car

Q: Name something celebrities might be embarrassed to endorse on a commercial

A: Name a douche

Q: An occupation whose members must get tired of smiling

A: Game show host

Q: An Olympic sport starting with ‘S’

A: Skydiving

Q: Name something that might be a pizza topping in a horror movie

A: Feces

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