April Fools Day, So Let’s Have A Look At Some Fools!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s April Fool’s Day and what more appropriate post than to have our final look (for now) at the fools who need warning labels on everything and the fools who write the warnings.

Enjoy the stupidity.

warning exp

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“Remove the plastic wrapper.”

The first instruction on a

bag of microwave popcorn;

BUT to see the instructions,

one first has to remove the plastic

wrapper and unfold the pouch.

 popcornbag

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“Take one capsule by mouth

three times daily until gone.”

On a box of pills.

 box of pills

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“Open packet. Eat contents.”

Instructions on a packet of airline peanuts.

 packet of airline peanuts

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“Remove wrapper,

open mouth,

insert muffin,

eat.”

Instructions on the packaging

for a muffin at a 7-11.

 packaging for a muffin

.

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“Use like regular soap.”

On a bar of Dial soap.

 bar of Dial soap

.

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“Instructions: usage known.”

Instructions on a can of black pepper.

 black pepper

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“Serving suggestion: Defrost.”

On a Swann frozen dinner.

 swan-to-go

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“Simply pour the biscuits into a bowl and

allow the cat to eat when it wants.”

On a bag of cat biscuits.

 bag of cat biscuits

.

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“In order to get out of car,

open door, get out, lock doors,

and then close doors.”

In a car manual.

 car manual

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“The appliance is switched on by setting

the on/off switch to the ‘on’ position.”

Instructions for an espresso kettle.

 Bialetti - moka pot 10

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Warning: Read Carefully, More Stupid Signs Ahead!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Heed the warning in the title, another selection of warning signs written for the chronically stupid follows.

That these have to be written is a tragedy in itself. That most of them seem to be written by they very people they are aimed at is one of those mysteries that may take years to solve.

In the meantime, enjoy.

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pointing left keep right sign

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“Malfunction: Too less water.”

A notice left on a coffee machine.

 malfunction

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“Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone.”

On a form in a clinic.

 phone

.

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“You could be a winner!

No purchase necessary.

Details inside.”

On a bag of Fritos.

 bag of Fritos

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“Fits one head.”

On a hotel-provided shower cap box.

 shower cap box

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“Payment is due by the due date.”

On a credit card statement.

 credit card statement

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“No small children.”

On a laundromat triple washer.

 laundromat triple washer

.

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“Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs.”

A sign, correctly describing the end of a

concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.

 Warning Ramp Ends In Stairs

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“Take care: new non-slip surface.”

On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp

that led to the entrance of a building.

 Take care new non-slip surface

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“In case of flood, proceed uphill.

In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly.”

One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

 summer camp

.

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“Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar,

vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour,

emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents,

enzymes, water.

May contain ……….fruit.”

The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

 package of fruit buns

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“100% pure yarn.”

On a sweater.

 sweater

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“Some materials may irritate sensitive skin.

Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.

Materials:

Covering: 100% Unknown.

Stuffing: 100% Unknown.”

On a pillow.

pillow

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More Stupid Signs By Stupid People For Stupid People.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Catering for the lowest common denominator in intelligence can be very frustrating for the rest of us.

But apparently stupidity has reached levels today where stupid people will hurt themselves with things that shouldn’t hurt them, if they had the wit to understand what they were and how use them properly.

Personally I think there is some merit in letting them get on with it and perhaps thereby gradually eliminating chronic stupidity from the gene pool.

In the meantime all we can do is cringe and laugh.

Here are some more.

Enjoy.

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stupidity is contageous sign

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“Not to be used as a personal flotation device.”

On a 6 x 10 inch inflatable picture frame.

 inflatable picture frame

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“Do not put in mouth.”

On a box of bottle rockets.

 bottle rockets

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“Remove plastic before eating.”

On the wrapper of a Fruit Roll-Up snack.

 Fruit Roll-Up snack

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“Not dishwasher safe.”

On a remote control for a TV.

 remote control for a TV

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“For lifting purposes only.”

On the box for a car jack.

 car jack

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“Do not put lit candles on phone.”

On the instructions for a cordless phone.

 lit candles

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“Warning! This is not underwear!

Do not attempt to put in pants.”

On the packaging for a wristwatch.

 packaging for a wristwatch

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“Safe for use around pets.”

On a box of Arm & Hammer Cat Litter.

 Arm & Hammer Cat Litter

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“No stopping or standing.”

A sign at bus stops everywhere.

 No stopping or standing

.

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“Do not sit under coconut trees.”

A sign on a coconut palm in a

West Palm Beach park circa 1950.

 Do not sit under coconut trees

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“These rows reserved for parents with children.”

A sign in a church.

 parents with children

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“All cups leaving this store, whether

full or empty, must be paid for.”

A sign in a Cumberland Farms

in Hillsboro, New Hampshire.

 cups

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Warning: Stupidity Ahead!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Take heed of that warning in the title.

There is stupidity ahead and lots of it.

The stupid signs by stupid people for stupid people continues.

Enjoy (and maybe cringe a little).

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may contain nuts

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“May be harmful if swallowed.”

On a shipment of hammers.

 shipment of hammers

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“Using Ingenio cookware to destroy your

old pots may void your warranty.”

A printed message that appears in a television

advertisement when the presenter demonstrates

how strong the cookware is by using it to

beat up and destroy a regular frying pan.

 Ingenio cookware

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“Do not attempt to stop the blade with your hand.”

In the manual for a Swedish chainsaw.

 Swedish chainsaw

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“Do not dangle the mouse by its cable

or throw the mouse at co-workers.”

 ……from a manual for an SGI computer.

 cat and mouse

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“Warning: May contain nuts.”

On a package of peanuts.

 may contain nuts 2

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“Do not eat.”

On a slip of paper in a stereo box,

referring to the styrofoam packing.

(Maybe this one is not so daft, I once

saw someone trying to eat this stuff!)

 styrofoam

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“Do not eat if seal is missing.”

On said seal.

 Do not eat if seal is missing

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“Access hole only —

not intended for use in lifting box.”

On the sides of a shipping carton,

just above cut-out openings which one

would assume were handholds.

 box with hand holes

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“Warning: May cause drowsiness.”

On a bottle of Nytol, a brand of sleeping pills.

 Nytol

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“Warning: Misuse may cause injury or death.”

Stamped on the metal barrel of a .22 calibre rifle.

 .22 calibre rifle

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“Do not use orally after using rectally.”

In the instructions for an electric thermometer.

 electric thermometer

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“Turn off motor before using this product.”

On the packaging for a chain saw file,

used to sharpen the cutting teeth on the chain.

 chain saw file

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Pandering To The Stupidest – The Warning Signs Continue.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pandering to the stupidest people in society has become the norm.

All that does is drag everyone closer to their level of stupidity, but apparently the equally stupid people in charge think that’s the way it has to be.

They’ve even managed to get stupid people to write the stupid signs for the other stupid people.

Sound like a conspiracy to me, except they’re not smart enough for that.

Anyway, enough of my rant.

Just enjoy.

no stupid people beyond this point

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“Do not iron clothes on body.”

On packaging for a Rowenta iron.

 Rowenta iron

.

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“Do not drive car or operate machinery.”

On Boot’s children’s cough medicine.

 Boot's children's cough medicine

.

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“For indoor or outdoor use only.”

On a string of Christmas lights.

 string of Christmas lights

.

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“Wearing of this garment

does not enable you to fly.”

On a child sized Superman costume.

 child sized Superman costume

.

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“This door is alarmed from 7:00pm – 7:00am.”

On a hospital’s outside access door.

 hospital's outside access door

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“Beware!

To touch these wires is instant death.

Anyone found doing so will be prosecuted.”

On a sign at a railroad station.

 To touch these wires is instant death

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“Warning:

do not use if you have prostate problems.”

On a box of Midol PMS relief tablets.

 Midol PMS relief tablets

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“Product will be hot after heating.”

On a supermarket dessert box.

 supermarket dessert box

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“Do not turn upside down.”

On the bottom of a supermarket dessert box.

 Do not turn upside down

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“Do not light in face.

Do not expose to flame.”

On a lighter.

 a lighter

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“Choking hazard:

This toy is a small ball.”

On the label for a cheap rubber ball toy.

 cheap rubber ball toy

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“Not for human consumption.”

On a package of dice.

package of dice

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Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, Dumb, More Warning Signs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It occurred to me during this short series of warning signs that the whole idea may have a fatal flaw.

Why all the fuss about printing warning signs on things for really stupid people, because the chances are that the people who need signs like these are far too stupid to know how to read them anyway?

But they have been written, and not by geniuses either, so we might as well have a look, and, of course….

Enjoy.

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Warning Bad Thinking Ahead

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“Please store in the cold

section of the refrigerator.”

On a bag of fresh grapes in Australia.

grapes Please store in the cold section of the refrigerator.

“Warning: knives are sharp!”

On the packaging of a sharpening stone.

 Warning - knives are sharp

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“Not for weight control.”

On a pack of Breath Savers.

 pack of Breath Savers

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“Twist top off with hands.

Throw top away.

Do not put top in mouth.”

On the label of a bottled drink.

 a bottled drink

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“Theft of this container is a crime.”

On a milk crate.

 milk crate

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“Do not use intimately.”

On a tube of deodorant.

 tube of deodorant

.

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“Warning: has been found to cause

cancer in laboratory mice.”

On a box of rat poison.

 box of rat poison

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“Fragile. Do not drop.”

Posted on a Boeing 757.

 new Boeing 757

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“Cannot be made non-poisonous.”

On the back of a can of de-icing windshield fluid.

 can of de-icing windshield fluid

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“Caution:

Remove infant before folding for storage.”

On a portable stroller.

 portable stroller

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“Excessive dust may be

irritating to skin and eyes.”

On a tube of agarose powder,

used to make gels.

 agarose powder

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“Look before driving.”

On the dash board of a mail truck.

truck dashboard

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Some More Politicians Who Managed To Get Their Feet In Their Mouths.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It always amazes me that politicians, who should be well aware that every word they say will be recorded somewhere, are so prone to speak without thinking.

On the other hand maybe they do think about what they are going to say and see nothing wrong with it. That is a very distinct possibility.

Either way it’s good for the rest of us.

We all like to laugh and who better to laugh at than a stupid politician.

Enjoy.

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”Feminism was established so as

to allow unattractive women easier access

to the mainstream of society.”

Rush Limbaugh

 Rush Limbaugh

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“Schwarzenegger is going to find out that,

unlike a Hollywood movie set,

the bullets coming at him in this campaign

are going to be real bullets.”

Bob Mulholland, campaign adviser

for the California Democratic Party

 Bob-Mulholland

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 “We are not without accomplishment.

We have managed to distribute poverty equally.”

Nguen Co Thatch,

Vietnamese Foreign Minister.

 Nguen Co Thatch, Vietnamese Foreign Minister

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“When the President does it

that means that it’s not illegal.”

Richard M. Nixon

 Richard M. Nixon

.

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“During my service in

the United States Congress,

I took the initiative in

creating the Internet.”

 Al Gore.

 Al Gore

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“Exercise freaks

… are the ones putting stress

on the health care system.”

Rush Limbaugh

 Rush Limbaugh 2

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“Capital punishment is our way

of demonstrating the sanctity of life.”

Orrin Hatch

 Orrin Hatch

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“If you’ve seen one city slum,

you’ve seen them all.”

Spiro Agnew

 Spiro Agnew

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“From time to time there are going to

be things that occur that are acts of God

that cannot be prevented.”

Rick Perry,

on the BP oil spill in the Gulf of Mexico, in 2010

 Rick Perry

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”Well, I learned a lot….

I went down to (Latin America) to find out

from them and (learn) their views.

You’d be surprised.

They’re all individual countries.”

Ronald Reagan

 Ronald Reagan

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“We know that no one person can succeed

unless everybody else succeeds.”

Howard Dean.

 Howard Dean

.

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“The more toppings a man has on his pizza,

I believe the more manly he is.

A manly man don’t want it piled high with vegetables!

He would call that a sissy pizza.”

Herman Cain

 Herman Cain

.

 .

“What a terrible thing to have lost one’s mind.

Or not to have a mind at all.

How true that is.”

Vice President Dan Quayle

 Vice President Dan Quayle

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“I’ve now been in 57 states

– I think one left to go.”

Barack Obama

at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon.

 Barack Obama at a campaign event in Beaverton, Oregon

.

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“Stand up, Chuck, let ’em see ya.”

Joe Biden

to Missouri State Sen. Chuck Graham

… who’s in a wheelchair

 Joe Biden 2

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“In America,

anybody may become president,

and I suppose it’s just one of the risks you take.”

Adlai Stevenson

two-time Democratic presidential nominee

Adlai Stevenson next president button

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