Would You Buy An Expensive Lock If Someone Else Had The Key?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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encryption-lock

 

Apple and Google recently enabled full-device encryption by default on their mobile operating systems – and big brother doesn’t like it – not one bit. As always he talks about things like ‘National Security’, ‘terrorist threats’, etc., and that there will be total chaos in the streets if ordinary citizens are allowed their right to privacy.

Some of the stuff that has hit the media has been ridiculous and would be laughable except these idiots are actually intent on total control.

For example, the head of the FBI has issued dire warnings of children dying if ordinary people are allowed their privacy via encryption programs. The secretary of Homeland Security used the deaths of the 168 people killed in the 1995 Oklahoma City bombing as ‘proof’ that, while privacy was important, encryption should not be allowed to stymie US law enforcement.

Big Brother wants to stick his nose into EVERYTHING. Anything that makes that harder to do frustrates the hell out of him.

big brother is watching poster

 

So he continues with the stupid excuse that the necessity to snoop on law abiding people is because criminals and terrorists might use encryption tools as well.

It’s a bit like saying that no one should be allowed to drive a car because someone, somewhere, sometime, might get drunk and cause a fatal accident.

Then there’s the EnnEssEhh director who wants mandatory “front doors” to be built into all cryptographic technology used in the U.S., so that you can’t have secrets it can’t spy on. His idea is for all encrypted software and hardware used in the U.S. to have one encryption key for the user (you) and another that would be made available to the government bureaucrat spooks any time they wanted it.

This is complete nonsense. And they know it. But still they persist.

They have already got the Digital Millennium Copyright Act, which removed the right of a purchaser to use their goods as they see fit. This legislation means that digital products continue to be the property of the seller – not (you) the buyer who paid for them. And it makes it illegal for buyers of digital goods to circumvent any features that allow snooping.

Going back to my car analogy, that is like a car dealer selling you a car on the condition that you never open the hood to see how it works, or perform your own modifications.

In practical terms this means that if you buy a new phone or computer, the manufacturer can have a spy device pre-installed in its hard components or its software and you would be forbidden by law from finding out about it or fixing it.

If Big Brother thinks he can enforce stupidity like this then he is even crazier than I think he is – and I think he is completely crazy already!

Big Brother can legislate all he wants, but we all know that the only people who will abide by these new laws will be the law abiding people. The criminals and terrorists will find ways round it, through it, over it, or under it.

It’s the same flawed logic as in the continued cry from liberals to take legally registered guns away from law abiding people so that only the criminals are armed.

Neighbor Wants Guns Banned

 

Then there is, not the probability – but the FACT – that if a government spook friendly encryption system was created, it would immediately be attacked by hackers – including hackers employed by foreign governments, some of them friends of the terrorists that the legislation is supposed to be there to defeat.

And what about the practical commercial aspect to it all? When you think about it, who in their right mind is going to pay good money for an encryptiuon system that they know can be broken?

Would you buy an expensive lock if someone else had the key?

I think not.

.

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Chocolate And Burnt Wine Are On The Fact Menu Today.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes chocolate and ‘burnt wine’ are just two of the delicious facts on today’s menu.

So time to tuck in and….

Enjoy.

.

facts 04

.

About 40 percent of almonds

and 20 percent of peanuts

produced in the world are

made for chocolate products.

chocolate covered almonds

.

.

The word “brandy“ derives

from the Dutch word “brandewijn“,

which means “burnt wine“.

brandewijn

.

.

On May 2, 2011,

a well-trained Malinois dog named Cairo

accompanied the US Navy SEALs

who killed Osama Bin Laden.

Even though there aren’t many details

about this secret but successful operation,

every member of the team guarantees that

the outcome might not have been as

successful if Cairo wasn’t present to help.

Malinois SEAL dog Cairo

.

.

After alcohol, marijuana is

the second most popular recreational

or mood-altering substance in the world.

marijuana plant

.

.

The first human space fatality was

Vladimir Komarov (a close friend of Yuri Gagarin)

who commanded the Soyuz 1 mission on April 2, 1967.

After a successful stay in space,

Soyuz 1 re-entered the atmosphere,

but when its parachutes failed to deploy,

the impact led to his death.

Vladimir Komarov

.

.

J.K. Rowling,

author of the ‘Harry Potter’ series,

is the first person to become a

billionaire (U.S. dollars)

by writing books.

J.K. Rowling

.

.

The term “First Lady” was used first in 1849

when President Zachary Taylor called

Dolley Madison “First Lady” at her state funeral.

It gained popularity in 1877 when used

in reference to Lucy Ware Webb Hayes.

Most First Ladies, including Jackie Kennedy,

are said to have hated the label.

dolley_madison_stamp

.

.

There is a popular myth that the

Great Wall of China is visible from the Moon,

however, since it would be like viewing a

human hair from a distance of about 2 miles,

this myth is not true.

earth great wall from the moon

.

.

In Australia

the town Coober Pedy is underground,

made from old abandoned mines.

In the extremely hot, sunny days

of the Australian summer it provides

a cool environment or its inhabitants.

coober_pedy_house

.

.

A muscular person has a higher alcohol tolerance

than someone with more body fat.

Water-rich muscle tissues absorb alcohol more effectively,

preventing it from reaching the brain.

So if you plan to get Arnold Schwarzenegger drunk it’ll cost you!

arnold-schwarzenegger-movies__span

.

.

At 4:05 P.M. Moscow Time on

Wednesday, September 7, 2011,

Yak-Service Flight 9633,

carrying the players and coaching staff

of the Lokomotiv Yaroslavl professional ice hockey team,

crashed near the Russian city of Yaroslavl.

The aircraft ran off the runway before lifting off,

struck a tower mast, caught fire and crashed

2 km (1.2 mi) from Tunoshna Airport

at the Volga River bank.

Of the 45 on board, 43 died at the crash site,

one of the two rescued from the wreck, Alexander Galimov,

died five days later in hospital,

and only the avionics flight engineer,

Alexander Sizov, survived.

Alexander-Sizov-44-fatalities

.

.

Ants can “enslave“ individual ants

from other ant species,

keeping them captive and making

them do work for the colony.

ant-slavery

.

.

Once a month, Clothing Optional Dinners,

a dining club in Manhattan, New York,

founded by nudist activist John J. Ordover,

hosts a naked dinning party.

Diners must bring something to sit on

(for example a towel),

the staff, however, must always stay clothed.

Clothing-Optional-Dinners-Manhattan

.

.

In 1841 Edgar Allan Poe wrote a short story now

considered to be the first modern detective story.

It was called “The Murders in the Rue Morgue”

and the key character was a detective named Mr. Dupin.

The story, has served as a model for

many subsequent fictional detectives

including Sherlock Holmes and Hercule Poirot.

Edgar ALlan Poe - The Murders in the Rue Morgue

.

.

The ‘High heel race’, held in cities such as

Sydney, Paris, Moscow or Amsterdam,

is a running event in which the participants

must overcome a distance of 80 meters (around 260 feet)

running on high heels

that have to be at least 7 cm (2.8 inches)high.

.

.

And here are a few more high heel disasters to enjoy….

.

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Dogs, Dickens And Drink! – It’s Fact Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi and thanks for stopping by my blog.

Today’s post is another assortment of random facts, at least some of which I hope you find interesting.

And they do include dogs, Dickens and drink!

Enjoy.

.

did you know4

.

Research indicates that 42% of Americans

have tried marijuana at least once.

smoking_joint

.

.

The Old Course at St. Andrews, Scotland

is considered to be the birth place of modern golf;

it has been played there since the 15th century.

Old-Course-Hotel-with-Golfe

.

.

At the time ‘Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets’ was filmed,

the actress who played Hogwarts student ‘Moaning Myrtle’

was 37 years old.

Moaning Myrtle

.

.

At any given time approximately 0.7%

of the world population is drunk,

in other words about 50 million people

are drunk right now.

Cheers!

drunks

.

.

The town of Gibsonton, Florida is

a favorite retirement spot and official home of

people who have worked (or still do) in the circus industry.

The town is also famous for its many exceptional museums

on the carnival and circus lifestyle.

Gibsonton, Florida

.

.

It has been estimated that

as many as 800,000 people

were involved in the construction

of the Great Wall of China.

Great Wall of China

.

.

Orlando Serrell is what is known as an “acquired savant”.

He began to exhibit enhanced mental skills

after being hit on the side of the head by a baseball

when he was ten years old.

Since the accident he has been able to

remember the weather of every single day.

Orlando Serrell

.

.

There are more than 12,000 known species of ants,

ranging in shape and color and size

from just 0.03 to 2 inches in length

ants

.

.

Pluto’s surface is one of the coldest places in the solar system

at roughly minus 375 degrees F (minus 225 degrees C).

Pluto's surface

.

.

 ‘Sergeant Stubby’ is the most decorated war dog of World War I

and the only dog in US history that was promoted to sergeant

because of his time in combat.

Stubby served for eighteen months and participated

in seventeen battles on the Western Front

during the course of which he saved his regiment

from many unexpected mustard gas attacks

and found and comforted several wounded soldiers.

It is also said that he once caught

a German spy by the seat of his pants,

holding him there until American soldiers

found and captured him.  

Sergeant Stubby Wearing Military Medals

.

.

Fear on an empty glass

is called Cenosillicaphobia.

empty glass

.

.

Every year in Finland, since 1992, there is a

‘Wife Carrying World Championship’

in which male competitors race through a

special obstacle course in the fastest time

while each carrying a female teammate.

Most competitors use the piggyback or fireman’s carry

technique, though a few prefer to go Estonian-style

where the wife hangs upside-down with her

legs around the husband’s shoulders,

holding onto his waist.

Wife Carrying World Championship

.

.

In Tribeca, New York,

there is a Japanese Ninja Restaurant

where your meal will include Kung fu fire tricks,

sword-carrying waiters and exploding food.

Japanese Ninja Restaurant

.

.

Charles Dickens and Edgar Allen Poe were pen friends

and even met once in Philadelphia

when Poe was 34-year-old and Dickens was 31.

Charles Dickens and Edgar Allen Poe

.

.

On July 16, 1959, the Juno II rocket which was

meant to take the Explorer S1 satellite into orbit

was launched but after a few seconds the rocket

performed a near 180 degree flip

and hurtled back towards the launch pad.

The safety officer exploded the rocket

to protect those at the site.

From December 1958 to May 1961, five out of ten

Juno II rockets malfunctioned during launch.

.

.

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Highlighter Pens Are The Future. Mark My Words!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Mark my words indeed.

It’s Pun Day again.

Enjoy or endure!

.

 

rofl

.

Know what’s odd?

About every other number.

odd numbers

.

.

When I asked my best friend to be my best man,

he said he was “speechless”.

So I said, “You’re no good, I’ll find someone else”.

Best_man by Martin Stratton

.

.

I always win at Twister.

Hands down.

Nintendo_Twister_26

.

.

On reflection,

vampires aren’t that scary.

Vampire reflection

.

.

I’ve just seen a huge Egyptian woman

sticking her ass out the window of a car.

It was a two-ton car moon.

mooned

.

.

My neighbor Dave has drunk many

weird and wonderful things in his time.

I asked him if he’d ever drunk cologne.

“No,” he replied. “Always with friends.”

cologne

.

.

As they say in France,

one man’s fish

is another man’s poisson.

 

poisson

.

.

Everything is easier said than done.

Except procrastination.

procrastination

.

.

“I’ve got two words for you”

“I can’t count”

can't count

.

.

Upon reaching the peak of Everest with my wife,

we realized that there was only enough oxygen left

for one of us to get back down.

So I did the descent thing…

abseiling

.

.

I recently wrote an essay on the “Communist Manifesto”.

Unfortunately I didn’t really understand the topic,

so I got no Marx.

karl marx

.

.

Calvin Klein were supposed to

be bringing out a new fragrance…

But it was just aroma.

Calvin Klein perfume

.

.

The Sahara Desert walks into a bar

The barman says, “Long time no sea.”

Sahara Desert

.

.

Discovery Channel are releasing a new series about wildlife.

The first program is called “Siamese Ducks”.

It’s a double bill.

double bill

.

.

The wife will go spare when she finds out

I’ve lost her only copy of Beethoven’s Unfinished symphony.

I’ll never hear the end of it.

.

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All The Good Puns About The Periodic Table Argon!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

In case you hadn’t guessed from the title, it’s Pun Day again.

Another selection of great jokes or terrible jokes depending on your point of view.

So get those groans ready.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

The time will never be wrong.

Not on my watch.

Omega watch

.

.

I used to live in a normal house,

but then steps were taken to make it into a bungalow.

Bungalow

.

.

My dog has just eaten my entire James Bond DVD collection.

Luckily I managed to beat The Living Daylights out of him.

The Living Daylights

.

.

I got an answering machine today but I think it’s broken.

I’ve asked it loads of questions and nothing’s happening.

answering machine

.

.

My wife lost her Tampax and got really angry.

I hate it when she loses her rag.

Tampax

.

.

I’ve finally remembered the word that

I’ve been thinking about for two weeks.

It’s ‘fortnight.’

fortnight

.

.

Me and my mate are having a competition

to see who can steal the most dog related stuff

from next door’s house.

I’ve just taken the lead….

DOG_LEAD

 

.

.

They call me Mr Rhetorical.

Can you guess why?

Rhetorical question stems

I’m looking to start up my own business,

recycling discarded chewing gum.

Just need help getting it off the ground.

discarded chewing gum on sidewalk

.

.

My whisky kept going missing so I confronted the wife.

She told me that the guilty party was the family dog.

I found it staggering.

drunk dog

.

.

I lost my job today because I said the office is full of assholes.

Bit of an overreaction to my opinion about a TV program I think.

the office

.

.

What’s black and gets abused 24/7

on social networking sites?

Punctuation!

Punctuation

.

.

I’m a much better fighter now that I have a blackbelt.

I was hopeless when my trousers kept falling down.

trousers kept falling down

.

.

Shopping for antiques won’t make you gay,

but it will make you buy curios.

Shopping for antiques

.

.

A lady at the supermarket asked me if I’ve ever drunk orange juice with pulp.

I said, “No, but I once had coffee with The Bluetones.”

.

.

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I Decide Which Beer To Drink On A Case By Case Basis!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

What other way can you sample beer?

While you are thinking about that here are a few more samples of word plays, otherwise knows as puns.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

I photographed myself stealing from

the DIY store earlier today.

I took some shelfies.

shelves

.

.

My friend Dave has drunk many weird

and wonderful things in his time.

I asked him if he’d ever drunk cologne.

“No,” he replied. “Always with friends.”

Armani_Cologne_for_men

.

.

I don’t know why people feel the need to travel

around the world to “find themselves”;

I found myself years ago.

Turns out I was right under my nose.

nose

.

.

I’ve recently been a stunt man in a couple of movies.

Nothing major, just a couple of small rolls.

Will-Dean-stunt-man-006

.

.

I bought a chair at the furniture store

from a new range based on Thai furniture.

It’s called a ‘Ladyboy’.

La-Z-Boy

.

.

Have you visited www. conjunctivitis. com?

It’s a site for sore eyes

sore eyes

.

.

My attempts at making a ham soup are always ad hoc.

cartoon-ham-8

.

.

With these terrible storms, I’ve been trying to think

of a way of stopping the water entering my property.

Can’t come up with anything though.

Damn!

sandbags dam

.

.

Dijon vu

dijon vu mustard

.

.

My sister fell in love with an arsonist.

She carried a torch for him for months.

They eventually split up, after a blazing row.

lit match

.

.

The new strip bar in my town doesn’t let Jews in.

It’s a gentile man’s club.

Strip-Bar-sign

.

.

I took a ‘Mickey Mouse’ degree and now

I’m head of animation at Disney Studios.

Mickey_Mouse

.

.

Paddy’s in the bathroom and Murphy shouts to him.

“Did you find the shampoo?”

“Oi did,” Paddy says,

“But it’s for dry hair and I’ve just wet mine.”

dry hair shampoo

.

.

One of the Sisters at the convent was kidnapped the other day.

Police blamed the lack of security at the premises.

The local newspaper summed it up with the headline…

“No ‘fence.  Nun taken.”

SISTER

.

.

I hate jokes that rely on visual imagery.

I’ve had it right up to here with them.

blank page

.

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“Never Underestimate The Power Of Stupid People In Large Groups.”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

George Carlin Never underestimate

.

I read a sign recently that said “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups.”

I knew exactly what it meant.

I’ve said it before on this blog – stupid people are dangerous. Sure they are amusing some of the time, and annoying all of the time, but they are also dangerous a lot of the time too.

Whether it be the stupid idiot who gets drunk and thinks it makes him a better driver, or someone in a company who has been promoted well beyond his or her level of ability just because the number of years of service he or she has accrued, or one of those despicable ‘jobs-worth’ morons you inevitably find in bureaucratic government non-jobs, their stupidity poses a danger to the rest of us.

stupid-people

.

If you were a real optimist you might be forgiven for hoping that where you put two stupid people together there would be a chance that the stupidity would halve, but in fact quite the reverse is true, it doubles – and then some!  

And where stupid people accumulate in even larger groups the danger they pose is even greater.

I have witnessed mob violence and believe me it’s a scary thing, always dangerous and often lethal. That’s bad enough.

But what if the large groups of stupid people are given the power to dictate to the rest of us?

That’s an even scarier prospect because it isn’t just spontaneous and fleeting, it is planned and long term.

It’s something that you would think the rest of us would be smart enough not to let happen. Yet that’s exactly what we have allowed to happen.

In the modern world, whether it be the western democracies or the eastern dictatorships, for one reason or another smart people have abdicated their responsibility to ensure that we are governed sensibly and have instead allowed a bunch of morons to take charge.

A lot of the time the idiots get away with it without anyone noticing much. The smart people get on with their lives and quietly accept the interference of the stupid.

But recently the idiots have been steadily encroaching on our private lives, into things that are clearly none of their business and things that pose no danger to society at large or to any individual within it.

The idiots want power. They don’t know what to do with it when they get it. But they want it, and more and more of it.

My own theory is that at heart, although they try to appear superior, the idiots know they are idiots and actually feel inferior to normal people. Thus their mania to have control over those they know are better than they are.

never argue with stupid people. 

We know that when they get control they try to dumb down society to their level. The most talented individuals are frowned upon and made to develop at the same speed as the dumbest.

We’ve been through the NSA fiasco when they were outed by a former employee. We know they look at our emails, listen to our telephone conversations, probably even snoop in our mail or scrutinize our blogs (gosh!) and that they have built a humungous new data storage center to keep information on everyone.

We know they start wars and cause the needless deaths of many people sometimes for no other good reason than to distract from the obvious shortcomings at home.

And we are currently in the midst of one of the most idiotic standoffs in Washington with Obama, the Senate and the House of Representatives seeing who can balance on one leg the longest while the country becomes the laughing stock of the rest of the world.

Yes folks, never underestimate the power of stupid people in large groups to destroy society and drag the rest of us down along with them.

no stupid people beyond this point

.

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? – Newspaper Headline Nightmares, Part ten !!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Another midweek treat.

The latest batch of newspaper headline nightmares.

Hope you find something in this example of stupidity to make you smile.

Enjoy

.

.

np_deer

.

.

.

np_doggystyle

.

.

.

np_dogsex

.

.

.

np_drdoom

.

.

.

np_drowning

.

.

.

np_drunkcaptain

.

.

.

np_drunkdate

.

.

.

np_earthquake

.

.

.

np_eatery

.

.

.

np_feetbrake

.

.

.

np_ferrarisex

.

.

.

np_findlater

.

.

.

np_flyingdildo

.

.

.

np_frequentsex

.

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More Stuff You Maybe Didn’t Know

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

It’s fascinating fact day on the fasab blog.

Another random selection of stuff you maybe didn’t know and possibly didn’t know you didn’t know.

But now you will.

Enjoy.

.

fact 01

.

The fight scene on top of the train in Skyfall

was actually filmed on top of a real moving train

and Daniel Craig did not use a stunt double

skyfall-james-bond-train

.

.

The last Woolly Mammoths lived at the same time

as the Egyptians were building the pyramids

wooly mammoth

.

.

Because metal was scarce during World War II,

it wasn’t the acting but the Oscars given out that were wooden.

oscar

.

.

Mexico City sinks about 10 inches a year

mexico-city-from-plane-1

.

.

In 2001 Beaver College changed its name

to Arcadia in part because anti-porn filters

blocked access to the school’s website.

beaver college student

.

.

On average, 100 people choke to death

on ball-point pens every year.

Sucking-on-pens

.

.

Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression

can weaken your immune system.

Negative-Emotions
.

.

“Entomophagy” is the name used to describe the fact that people eat insects,

a practice that has been going on for centuries throughout

Africa, Australia, Asia, the Middle East, and North, Central and South America,

because many bugs are both protein-rich and good sources of vitamins, minerals and fats.

eating insects

.

.

One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde.

Only one in sixteen men is.

dumb-blonde-joke

.

.

Next Bugatti SuperVeyron will reach 60 mph in 1.8 seconds

at a maximum speed of 288 mph or 463 km/hr

2013-bugatti-veyron

.

.

98% of all murders and rapes are by a

close family member or friend of the victim.

crime scene

.

.

The H Bomb leaves no blood when it is used,

only a 20 km radius of radioactive ash.

h-bomb

.

.

British People Are Drunk in 76% of Facebook Photos

Brits drunk on facebook

.

.

Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

bats

.

.

Men grow ear hair as they get older, women don’t

hair ears

.

.

An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

drunk_ant_test

.

.

Bananas contain a natural chemical that can make a person happy.

This is the same chemical found in Prozac.

happy banana

.

.

Boeing 747’s wing span is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.

The Wright brother’s invented the airplane.

Boeing-747-8-Intercontinental

.

.

Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

tiger

.

.

The United States sent 813 men, 27 helicopters and

nuclear capable bombers to cut down a tree in the Korean DMZ.

cutting down tree

.

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The Primary Responsibility For A Child’s Education Is Apparent.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, that’s right, The primary responsibility for a child’s education is apparent.

But everyone’s education would not be complete without a healthy dose of puns.

Always here to help, here’s today’s selection.

Enjoy!

.

.

I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman

working there if they had any ghost costumes.

She said “We don’t sell those, I’m afraid.”

Stupid woman. They’re not that scary.

ghost-towel

.

.

ABC NEWS:

French Chef commits suicide after critic’s attack.

After further investigation it turns out

he simply lost the huile d’olive.

huile-d-olive

.

.

I went to a really posh school.

In fact, the school was so posh that the Gym was called James.

gym cartoon

.

.

I have a friend who’s half Indian.

Ian.

half indian

.

.

Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on

and approve of at the same time.

cleavage

.

.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.

She said, “I’m sick of it. You actually believe that you’re a Transformer.

It’s stupid. I’ve had enough and I’m leaving you.”

I said, “But, Baby, I can change.”

She said, “There you go again!”

Transformer

.

.

I put a couple of ‘t’s in my beer last night.

I think it made it better.

BeerBetter

.

.

Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?

air and space museum

.

.

I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

You know, to make it more classy.

school desk

.

.

I was only young when I learned to count.

It was odd at first, even then.

cartoon-numbers-set

.

.

In a cave, I found pictures of women’s breasts,

but when I picked them up, a giant net fell on me.

Damn booby trap.

booby_traps_by_vmv_81-d3ickn1

.

.

I make £1,000,000 a month cleaning Windows.

I invented Norton Anti-virus.

Norton

.

.

My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday.

I couldn’t find the words to thank them.

dictionary

.

.

I never let my children watch big band performances on TV.

Too much sax and violins.

sax_and_violins

.

.

There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk.

Up!

drunk

.

.

Einstein eventually developed a theory about space.

And it was about time too.

albert_einstein_328565

.

.

I’m so broke at the moment that all I can

afford to eat are herbs my mate has lent me.

I’m living on borrowed thyme.

thyme

.

.

I’ve just seen a group on Facebook called, ‘I hate feet’.

Obviously these people are fans of the metric system.

metric-system-copyright-Allan-Inman

.

.

Talking to her about computer hardware,

makes my mother board.

motherboard

.

.

My wife has packed her bags and gone –

just because of my fetish with touching pasta.

I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

pasta

.

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