They Let The Crazy People Out Today.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hi folks.

It’s Black Friday.

This is the day they let the crazy people out.

They wrestle and fight and tug

and roll around on the floor hitting each other

in a frenzy of greed and stupidity. 

It’s fun to watch, but I’m staying at home.

How about you?

If you want to know why then have

a look at these videos and photos.

Enjoy and be safe.

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Black-Friday.001

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635215736606808633black-friday

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A shopper is restrained on the ground by security staff in the car park of an Asda store in Bristol.

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black friday fight 4

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blackfriday_fights_11-27-2012

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Happy Thanksgiving 2014.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today is the fourth Thursday of November and also the last Thursday in November so whether you think Lincoln was right or Roosevelt was right, it still Thanksgiving Day in the USA.

To everyone who participates, enjoy the family holiday, eat too much and drink too much.

Last year I did what turned out to be a very popular post called “I Had To Post A Few Turkey Puns Today, Of Course They Are Fowl” ( Click here if you would like to read it.) And this year I’ve done it again.

So here are some more really bad jokes.

Enjoy or endure.

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rofl

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Thanksgiving,

the time of year when turkeys

fatten Americans up for Christmas!

funny-happy-thanksgiving-turkey-poster

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Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the stuffing?

Because it’s such a crummy job!

turkey-thanksgiving-jokes

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What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

funny-turkey

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What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock, of course!

Plymouth Rock

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What would you get if you crossed

a turkey with a baked fruit dessert?

A peach gobbler!

funny turkey photo

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What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot

turkey trot

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What does a Turkey drink wine in?

In a gobble-let

Turkey drink wine

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What did baby corn say to mama corn?

Where’s popcorn?

turkey eating popcorn cartoon

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Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?

To try to hatchet!

tomahawk

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Teacher: “What did the Indians bring

to the first Thanksgiving?”

Student: “Baseballs.”

Teacher: “Baseballs?”

Student: “Yeah,

they were Cleveland Indians!”

Logo_Cleveland Indians

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Who is the turkey’s favorite movie star?

Gregory Peck.

thanksgiving_bush

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If you divide the circumference

of a pumpkin by its diameter

Do you end up with

Pumpkin pi?

pumpkin pie pi

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Can a turkey jump higher than

the Empire State Building?

Yes of course it can

– a building can’t jump at all.

unfriends-me-on-facebook

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Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?

Because his buckle was on his hat!

pilgrim

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And finally,

instead of talking turkey,

let’s hear someone sing turkey instead.

Take it away Dickie Stickhead

(Phew, you have to be careful how you say that name!)

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Let’s Talk Turkey – And Other Thanksgiving Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, we are on a Thanksgiving theme this week.

So here are a few relevant facts.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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The word ‘turkey’ is said to come

from the Hebrew word ‘Tukki’

which means ‘Big Bird’ or ‘Pheasant Bird’

or ‘Indian chicken’.

turkey derived from Hebrew word ‘Tukki’

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The busiest travel day of the year

is the Friday after Thanksgiving.

busiest travel day of the year

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Turkeys can drown

if they look up in the rain.

Turkeys can drown if they look up in the rain

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Historians have proven that

the pilgrims didn’t really wear those

funny hats and buckles on their shoes.

They dressed really colorfully.

No one knows how the pilgrim image began.

pilgrims clothes

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The first meal eaten on the moon

by astronauts Neil Armstrong and Buzz Aldren

was a roasted turkey dinner with all the trimmings.

first meal eaten on the moon

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The first balloon in the

1927 Macy’s Thanksgiving Day Parade

was Felix the Cat

Felix the Cat

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Turkeys are able to adapt to a wide variety of habitats.

However, most turkeys are found

in hardwood forests with grassy areas.

turkey habitat

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On June 20, 1998, in Bellevue, Ohio,

Dale Gasteier built a 52’ free-standing

illuminating star to celebrate

the American Thanksgiving holiday?

map_of_bellevue_oh

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It was Sarah Joesph Hale, a magazine editor

who persuaded President Lincoln

to declare Thanksgiving a national holiday.

She had previously persuaded Zachary Taylor,

Millard Filmore, Franklin Pierce, and James Buchanan.

Sarah Joesph Hale

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Almost 280 million turkeys

are consumed during Thanksgiving

celebrations in the United States.

turkey meal

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Turkeys have heart attacks.

When the Air Force was conducting test runs

and breaking the sound barrier,

fields of turkeys would drop dead.

TurkeyCartoon

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The real Plymouth rock is cracked,

it happened during the revolutionary war.

Plymouth_Rock,_Plymouth,_MA

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Since 1947, the National Turkey Federation

presents a live turkey and two dressed turkeys

to the President on Thanksgiving.

The President pardons the live turkey

and it is sent to a historical farm

where it lives the rest of its days.

president-obama-pardons-turkey

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Thanksgiving was not an official holiday

until Lincoln proclaimed it.

Before that, presidents would declare it

a holiday or not, depending on how they felt.

The official Thanksgiving Proclamation

was signed on October 3, 1863

by Abraham Lincoln.

According to this proclamation,

the last Thursday of November was

to be celebrated as Thanksgiving.

President Roosevelt declared Thanksgiving

one week earlier to stabilize the economy

during the Great Depression in 1939.

In 1941, the Congress passed an

official proclamation and made

Thanksgiving a national holiday

which would be observed on the

4th Thursday of November every year.

joint-res-m

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Time To Give Thanks For The Thanksgiving Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello and welcome to another week at the fasab blog.

This week, for obvious reason, I’m on a Thanksgiving theme, so this week’s quiz is not the usual random mixture, but all about Thanksgiving and, of course, turkeys.

As usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Turkey-Holding-Quiz-Sign

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Q.  1:  When was the first Thanksgiving celebration?

            a) 1535          b) 1598          c) 1621          d) 1686          e) 1751

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Q.  2:  What are the respective names of a female and a male turkey?  (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

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Q.  3:  Which U.S. president specified that Thanksgiving would fall on the last Thursday of November?

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Q.  4:  Which U.S. President attempted to move the Thanksgiving holiday to the fourth Thursday in November to create a longer Christmas shopping season?

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Q.  5:  What are the respective sounds made by a female and a male turkey?  (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

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Q.  6:  What Native American tribe celebrated the first Thanksgiving with the colonists?

            a)  Lakota            b) Apache          c) Wampanoag          d) Blackfoot

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Q.  7:  Approximately what percentage of American homes eats turkey on a) Thanksgiving and b) Christmas? (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

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Q.  8:  A three part, and possibly three point question, a) is Thanksgiving celebrated in any country other than the United States, and b) if so where, and c) when?  (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  9:  Which US state produces the most turkeys annually?

            a)  Ohio          b)  Indiana          c)  Minnesota          d)  Arkansas

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Q. 10:  The name of the famous rock where the pilgrims landed?

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Q. 11:  Where was the turkey first domesticated?

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Q. 12:  The original Thanksgiving lasted for how long?

           a)  1 day          b)  3 days          c)  5 days          d)  7 days

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Q. 13:  Which vegetable did the pilgrims have available for Thanksgiving but did not use because they thought it was poisonous?

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Q. 14:  What American statesman lobbied to make the turkey the national symbol?

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Q. 15:  What was the first departmental store that held a Thanksgiving parade?

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Q. 16:  What is the name of the skin that hangs from a turkey’s neck?

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Q. 17:  What do you call the day after Thanksgiving?

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Q. 18:  The inhabitants of which state are the largest consumers of turkey in the United States?

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Q. 19:  How many pilgrims were on the Mayflower and how long was the voyage from England to the New World? (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

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Q. 20:  Which country consumes the most turkey per year per capita?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  When was the first Thanksgiving celebration?

            a) 1535          b) 1598          c) 1621          d) 1686          e) 1751

A.  1:  The correct answer is c) 1621.

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Q.  2:  What are the respective names of a female and a male turkey?  (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

A.  2:  A female turkey is a ‘hen’ and a male is a ‘tom’.

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Q.  3:  Which U.S. president specified that Thanksgiving would fall on the last Thursday of November?

A.  3:  Abraham Lincoln.

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Q.  4:  Which U.S. President attempted to move the Thanksgiving holiday to the fourth Thursday in November to create a longer Christmas shopping season?

A.  4:  Franklin D. Roosevelt.

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Q.  5:  What are the respective sounds made by a female and a male turkey?  (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

A.  5:  A female turkey says ‘cluck’ and a male turkey says ‘gobble’.

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Q.  6:  What Native American tribe celebrated the first Thanksgiving with the colonists?

            a)  Lakota            b) Apache          c) Wampanoag          d) Blackfoot

A.  6:  the Wampanoag tribe.

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Q.  7:  Approximately what percentage of American homes eats turkey on a) Thanksgiving and b) Christmas? (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

A.  7:  a) 90% of American homes eats turkey on Thanksgiving and b) 50% at Christmas.

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Q.  8:  A three part, and possibly three point question, a) is Thanksgiving celebrated in any country other than the United States and b) if so where and c) when?  (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  8:  Correct answers are,  a) Yes   b) in Canada, and   c) on the second Monday of October.

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Q.  9:  Which US state produces the most turkeys annually?

            a)  Ohio          b)  Indiana          c)  Minnesota          d)  Arkansas

A.  9:  The correct answer is  c)  Minnesota.

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Q. 10:  The name of the famous rock where the pilgrims landed?

A. 10:  Plymouth Rock.

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Q. 11:  Where was the turkey first domesticated?

A. 11:  Mexico and Central America. (A point for either answer.)

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Q. 12:  The original Thanksgiving lasted for how long?

            a)  1 day          b)  3 days          c)  5 days          d)  7 days

A. 12:  The correct answer is b)  3 days.

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Q. 13:  Which vegetable did the pilgrims have available for Thanksgiving but did not use because they thought it was poisonous?

A. 13:  Potatoes.

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Q. 14:  What American statesman lobbied to make the turkey the national symbol?

A. 14:  Benjamin Franklin.

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Q. 15:  What was the first departmental store that held a Thanksgiving parade?

A. 15:  It was Gimbel’s Department Store in Philadelphia, in 1920.

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Q. 16:  What is the name of the skin that hangs from a turkey’s neck?

A. 16:  It is called a ‘wattle’.

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Q. 17:  What do you call the day after Thanksgiving?

A. 17:  It is known as ‘Black Friday’.

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Q. 18:  The inhabitants of which state are the largest consumers of turkey in the United States?

A. 18:  Californians are the largest consumers of turkey in the United States.

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Q. 19:  How many pilgrims were on the Mayflower and how long was the voyage from England to the New World? (A point for each correct answer, and a bonus point if you get them both right.)

A. 19:  102 Pilgrims made the journey and it took them 66 days.

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Q. 20:  Which country consumes the most turkey per year per capita?

A. 20:  Israel.

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J.F.K.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Fifty-one years ago today the United States 35th President, John F Kennedy, was assassinated at Dealy Plaza, in Dallas, Texas. We all know the story and the various conspiracy theories that have been written about ad nauseam over the past half century so this post is not about that.

Rather it is about one of the legacies of the JFK name, the USS John F Kennedy, the only ship of her class (a variant of the Kitty Hawk class of aircraft carrier) and the last conventionally powered carrier built for the United States Navy.

Although it was retired in 2007 after nearly 40 years of service in the United States Navy, the Kennedy was a very impressive ship. For those who like the details it measures 1,052 feet long, has a beam of 130 feet, and draws 37 feet of water. The flight deck is 1,046 feet by 252 feet.

The JFK displaces 81,430 tons at full load and her compliment is 155 officers, 2,775 enlisted (ship’s company), and 2,160 enlisted and 320 officers (embarked air wing).

it’s top speed is 32 knots, and her cruising speed is 20 knots. The operational range at 30 knots is 4,000 miles while the maximum cruising range is 12,000 miles.

USS JFK is equipped with 4 aircraft elevators and features 4 steam-powered catapults and 4 arresting wires. The carrier was capable of launching and recovering aircraft simultaneously and could embark 80+ aircraft, depending on mission requirements.

Aircraft on board included 56 F/A-18 hornet strike fighters, 6 S-3B Viking ASW aircraft, 4 EA-6B Prowler offensive electronic warfare aircraft, 4 E-2C Hawkeye electronic early warning aircraft, 2 ES-3A Shadow electronic warfare (SIGINT) aircraft, 4 SH-60F Seahawk ASW helicopters, and 2 HH-60H Seahawk combat search and rescue aircraft.

Its armaments included two Mk 29 Sea Sparrow Guided Missile Launch Systems, two RAM (Rolling Airframe Missile) systems, and two Mk 15 Phalanx 20mm CIWS (Close In Weapon System.)

During it’s service it was stationed some of the time in the Mediterranean area.

If you have never seen one of these babies up close and personal and wanted to get an idea of just how big and impressive they are have a look at the aeriel photograph below, taken as the JFK berthed at the island of Malta.

Compared to the houses, cars and people you can see in the shot I’m not sure the word ‘big’ is big enough to describe it.

I mean I wouldn’t want to mess with it. Would you?

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uss jfk in malta

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I Can’t Believe Pretzels Are Knot Bread.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Get it?

Pretzels, knot bread?

Never mind. Time to unravel a few more word plays.

It’s Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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Here’s a good one for you,

Good one.

good one

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I went to the museum to feed the animals

But they were all stuffed

stuffed animals in museum

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Those disposable cameras

are a complete con.

Now I have absolutely no record

of a perfectly lovely holiday.

 

disposable cameras.

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My girlfriend said she was going to

leave me because of my obsession with

pointing out inanimate objects…

So I showed her the door.

man pointing

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My son has been asked

to sign for his local team.

To be honest,

I never knew they were deaf.

boy with foorball

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Cadbury’s have brought out

a new box of chocolates

for inconsiderate people.

They’re self centered.

Cadbury's

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I run a business selling tiny models

of Buddha and Mohammed.

Sales aren’t the best but

I’m making small prophets.

tiny model of buddha

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Everyone’s blaming me for the

animal noises on the video conference at work.

Seems I’ve been made into a Skypegoat.

skype_logo

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The English language

is the best in the world.

It just has a certain…

je ne sais quoi.

je ne sais quoi

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My family abandoned me,

my ex-girlfriend took everything I own,

and my children hate me

all because of my constant optimism.

Still, it could be worse.

optimism

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My wife asked me for a

new wardrobe last Christmas,

so I got her one.

Turns out she just wanted clothes

new wardrobe

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I’m looking forward

to my dirty weekend.

Wash the car,

clean the garden,

take rubbish out……

dirty weekend

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I got water trapped in my ears

after having a shower this morning.

It was a near deaf experience.

water trapped in my ears

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If you like women

as well as the next man

you’re probably bi-sexual.

Bisexual!

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What’s the temperature in Motown ?

Three degrees, four tops…

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A Round Of Applause For Ms Fleischmann, I Think.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Alayne Fleischmann

Alayne Fleischmann was someone who I though did not exist.

Yes, it’s a slightly odd name, but that’s not what I mean.

She’s a real person, she does exist, although many on Wall Street and in the government wish she did not.

You see Alayne Fleischmann is a an honest lawyer.

Not only an honest lawyer, but an honest securities lawyer.

And not only an honest securities lawyer, but an honest securities lawyer who worked for a bank.

I know, it’s hard to believe isn’t it?

But it’s true.

Eight years ago Ms Fleischmann was employed by J P Morgan Chase Bank as a deal manager, a position that allowed her to see the crooked activity, fraud in other words, that was going on at the bank, particularly in regard to mortgage securities.

jp-morgan-chase-bank-logo1

She has been effectively ‘gagged’ for many years by confidentiality agreements, hordes of lawyers acting for the banks, and by government organizations that were supposedly investigating the fraud but which were in fact just trying to get it pushed under the carpet as soon and as quietly as possible.

Now Alayne Fleischmann is blowing the whistle, not just on the fraudulent activity of the banks but on the massive cover-up that followed it.

In doing so she is just confirming what anyone who has been paying attention already knew to be true, namely that the government has allowed the banks to buy their way out of criminal charges and jail time by paying multi-billion and multi-million dollar fines, fines that may sound large to you and I but which to them are a small fraction of the money they stole.

Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission report

The Department of Justice, Financial Crisis Inquiry Commission, SEC, and more have been pretending to investigate and bring the culprits to book. In effect they have done very little.

So I think a round of applause is in order for Ms Fleischmann. She won’t make much of a dent in the corrupt system, the corruption is so ingrained that I doubt if anyone could do that. But at least she came through with her honesty intact and that is a hell of a lot more than can be said of the banksters or the politicians and political appointees who were supposed to be going to make things right.

 

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