More Warning Signs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today another selection of warnings signs and labels that were clearly either written for idiots or written by idiots. Perhaps a combination of both!

Don’t try to figure out why they wrote these things or you might hurt yourself.

Just enjoy.

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warning signs

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“Caution:

This is not a safety protective device.”

On a plastic toy helmet used as a container for popcorn.

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“Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks.”

On an “Aim-n-Flame” fireplace lighter.

Do not use near fire, flame, or sparks

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“Do not eat toner.”

On a toner cartridge for a laser printer.

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“Not intended for highway use.”

On a 13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow.

13-inch wheel on a wheelbarrow

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“This product is not to be used in bathrooms.”

On a Holmes bathroom heater.

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“Eating rocks may lead to broken teeth.”

On a novelty rock garden set called “Popcorn Rock.”

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“May irritate eyes.”

On a can of self-defense pepper spray.

self-defense-pepper-spray May irritate eyes

 

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“Caution! Contents hot!”

On a Domino’s Pizza box.

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“Caution:

Hot beverages are hot!”

On a coffee cup.

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“Warning:

May contain small parts.”

On a frisbee.

frisbee

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“Please keep out of children.”

On a butcher knife.

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“Do not use orally.”

On a toilet bowl cleaning brush.

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toilet bowl cleaning brush

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Puns For The Educated Mind

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

According to the dictionary, a pun is the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.

I like puns. Sometimes they can be quite clever and humorous. At other times they can lead to an excruciatingly bad joke, although the worse they are the funnier they seem to be. Strange thing humor. 

I have a load of examples in the archives. Here are some to give you a taste of what may be in store.

Enjoy, (I hope)…

 

 

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

 

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

 

She was only a whiskey maker,

but he loved her still.

 

 

No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery.

 

 

Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in

Linoleum Blownapart?

 

 

Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie.

 

 

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

 

 

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

 

 

Apparently Mitt Romney donated the entirety of his inheritance from his father to the Brigham Young University. Is this guy a Moron?

 

Mitt Romney and Charles Montgomery Burns
Mitt Romney and Charles Montgomery Burns

 

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

 

 

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

 

 

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:

“Keep off the Grass.”

 

 

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison

was a small medium at large.

 

 

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray

is now a seasoned veteran.

 

 

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

 

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts…

In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

 

 

When cannibals ate a missionary,

did they get a taste of religion?

 

 

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris ,

you’d be in Seine.

 

 

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess looks at him and says,

“I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”

 

 

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

His goal: transcend dental medication.

 

 

Two hydrogen atoms meet.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?” 

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

 

atoms

 

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