The Warning Signs Are Warning Signs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Strange as it may seem Warning Signs are warning signs that society is in BIG trouble. They indicate that we have regressed to the level where we are allowing the stupidest people in society to dictate how the rest of us behave.

I disagree in the strongest possible terms with this trend. It is unnecessary and it is irritating for anyone with an IQ above 40.

If some dumb ass who knows they are allergic to nuts, buys a bag of nuts, then let them suffer the consequences of their stupidity if they eat them. Or if someone is in McDonalds or a similar establishment and buys a cup of hot coffee they should have the wit to realize that hot coffees is ‘hot’ and will burn them if they pour it all over themselves.

Harsh? Perhaps, but necessary.

Sadly the whole thing has deteriorated so far that, not only are there unnecessary warning labels on almost everything, but the morons for whom they are there now actually seem to be writing them too!

I could rant on, but better (and funnier) to show you some examples that make me shake my head in despair.

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“Do not use if you cannot

see clearly to read the information

in the information booklet.”

— In the information booklet.

information booklet

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“Caution:

The contents of this bottle

should not be fed to fish.”

— On a bottle of shampoo for dogs.

The contents of this bottle should not be fed to fish

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“For external use only!”

— On a curling iron.

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“Warning: This product can burn eyes.”

— Also on a curling iron.

curling iron

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“Do not use in shower.”

— On a hair dryer.

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“Do not use while sleeping.”

— Also on a hair dryer.

hair dryer

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“Do not use while sleeping or unconscious.”

— On a hand-held massaging device.

massaging device

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“Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking.”

— On a toilet at a public sports facility

in Ann Arbor, Michigan.

Recycled flush water unsafe for drinking

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“Shin pads cannot protect any part

of the body they do not cover.”

— On a pair of shin guards made for bicyclists.

Shin pads

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“This product not intended

for use as a dental drill.”

— On an electric rotary tool.

electric rotary tool

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“Caution:

Do not spray in eyes.”

— On a container of underarm deodorant.

underarm deodorant

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“Do not drive with sunshield in place.”

— On a cardboard sunshield that keeps

the sun off the dashboard.

cardboard sunshield that keeps the sun off the dashboard

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Did You Know? – A Foolish Fact Filled Tuesday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A foolish fact filled Tuesday?

I don’t know about that, but it is April Fool’s Day so anything is possible.

Nevertheless I hope there are at least a few things of interest in this lot.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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Will Smith is now older than Uncle Phil

was at the beginning of “The Fresh Prince.”

will-smith-the-fresh-prince-of-bel-air

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There are more than 1,700 references to gems and

precious stones in the King James translation of the Bible.

precious stones

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Turning a clock’s hands counterclockwise

while setting it is not necessarily harmful.

It is only damaging when the timepiece

contains a chiming mechanism.

turning a clock's hands counterclockwise

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Cleopatra lived closer to the building

of Pizza Hut than the pyramids.

cleopatra

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Dentists have recommended that a toothbrush

be kept at least 6 feet (2 m) away from a toilet

to avoid airborne particles resulting from the flush.

Toothbrush and toilet

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South Africa has 11 official languages

– the most for a single country.

South Africa official languages

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The US has no official language.

(Comprende?)

us_language_melting_pot

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The citrus soda 7-UP was created in 1929;

“7” was selected because the original containers were 7 ounces.

“UP” indicated the direction of the bubbles.

7_up

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The highest point in Pennsylvania

is lower than the lowest point in Colorado.

colorado

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France was still executing people by guillotine

when Star Wars came out.

guillotine Star Wars

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The earliest recorded case

of a man giving up smoking was on April 5, 1679,

when Johan Katsu, Sheriff of Turku, Finland, wrote in his diary

“I quit smoking tobacco.”

He died one month later.

giving up smoking

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“Goodbye” came from “God bye”

which came from “God be with you.”

god_be_with_you

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Charlie Brown’s father was a barber.

Charlie-Browns-Dad-Was-A-Barber

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Every continent begins and ends in the same letter.

(I bet you never noticed that.)

Continents

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Every continent has a city called Rome.

(I bet you never noticed that either.)

Rome_title_card

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Did You Know? Facts, Facts And More Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Fact day again on the fasab blog.

Another twenty things you probably don’t know now, but not to worry, you will do soon if you read on.

Enjoy.

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did you know1

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Before Gmail, “G-Mail” was the name of a free

email service offered by Garfield’s website.

gmail-logo-transparent

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In America the bonnets and caps of city fire hydrants

are painted certain colors to alert firefighters

to the amount of water pressure available from that hydrant.

fire hydrant

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It isn’t water itself that conducts electricity,

but the impurities found in it.

short_circuit water and electricity cartoon

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Richard Hollingshead of Camden, N.J., built the first

drive-in theater in his driveway.

The idea was inspired by his mother who was a large woman

who found the seats at regular movie theaters uncomfortable.

He made it with a sheet strung between two trees and

a movie projector mounted to the hood of his car.

drive-in-theater

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Washington state’s Mt. Rainier is the tallest

volcano in the contiguous United States,

measuring nearly 14,500 feet in height.

It last erupted in 1854.

mount rainier washington us

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Despite their menacing appearance and fierce name,

dragonflies cannot sting and are harmless to human beings.

dragonfly

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When referring to China, make sure

to say the People’s Republic of China.

Leave off “People’s” and you’re talking about Taiwan.

china_taiwan

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Approximately one quarter of the United States’

homeless population are war veterans.

(Shameful statistic!)

homeless_veterans

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The inventors of bubble wrap,

Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes,

were originally trying to make plastic wallpaper.

bubble-wrap

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The toilet featured in Hitchcock’s Psycho

was the first flushing toilet to appear on-screen.

psycho toilet

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Frankincense, one of the precious items

the wise men gave the baby Jesus,

was actually an ancient form of chewing gum

Frankincense

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The poinsettia is named after former

congressman and ambassador Joel Poinsett,

who introduced the plant to the United States in the 1800s.

Joel Poinsett

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Peridots are the only gems that

have been found in meteorites.

Peridot August Birthstone

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The longest jellyfish on record measured 160 feet,

more than half the length of a football field.

Jellyfish

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All holly trees are gender specific – male or female.

Only the female holly tree bears fruit (berries),

and in order to do so there must be a male

pollinated tree within a two mile radius of her.

holly tree in park

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Two-thirds of the world’s lawyers live in the United States.

LawyersProtectArtists

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The Hard Rock Café got its name from a now-defunct bar that

appeared on the back of the Doors’ album Morrison Hotel.

Doors album cover Morrison Hotel - Hard Rock Cafe

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When cranberries are ripe, they bounce like a rubber ball.

cranberry

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Due to the “naughty” dancing of the can-can girls and

the scantily clad models on 1800s French postcards,

the British equated anything risqué with France.

In fact, that’s how the phrase “pardon my French” entered the vernacular.

can can dancers

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Scott Joplin’s famous piano song, “Maple Leaf Rag,”

was not named for the leaf or for Canada:

it was named for the Maple Leaf Club,

a social gathering place in Sedalia, Missouri.

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Another Twenty Challenging Questions – Yes It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another start to the week and another twenty challenging questions in our latest quiz.

Easy, difficult and few “curve balls” in this lot, so see how well you do.

As usual the answers are given waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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Quiz3

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Q   1:  In Italy who or what is known as “Topolino”?

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Q   2:  How many men in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

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Q   3:  How many women in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

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Q   4:  In their natural habitats, what percentage of penguins live south of the equator?

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Q   5:  In what book of The Bible is God not mentioned?

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Q   6:  What do they call a “French kiss” in France?

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Q   7:  What is the longest English word without a vowel?

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Q   8:  What is the driest state in the U.S.?

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Q   9:  A group of toads is called a what?

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Q  10:  The first toilet ever seen on television was on what show?

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Q  11:  How many of the 44 US Presidents has worn glasses?

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Q  12:  Can you think of a word that is pronounced differently by merely capitalizing the first letter?

There are several, a point for each.

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Q  13:  What word describes a woman who does not have all her fingers on one hand?

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Q  14:  At various times throughout history known as the “President’s Palace,” the “President’s House,” and the “Executive Mansion”, what US President officially gave the White House its current name in 1901?

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Q  15:  What is the only capital letter in the Roman alphabet (the one we use) with exactly one end point?

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Q  16:  What US state’s motto is “Wisdom, Justice and Moderation.”

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Q  17:  What TV comedy series character’s catchphrase was “I’m listening”?

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Q  18:  In what country do people generally answer the phone by saying, “I’m listening”.

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Q  19:  What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes?

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Q  20:  How can you make seven even?

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ANSWERS

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Q   1:  In Italy who or what is known as “Topolino”?

A   1:  Mickey Mouse is known as “Topolino” in Italy

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Q   2:  How many men in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

A   2:  Twelve men have landed on and explored the moon

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Q   3:  How many women in total have landed on and explored the Moon?

A   3:  Zero, no women have landed on and explored the moon

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Q   4:  In their natural habitats, what percentage of penguins live south of the equator?

A   4:  100%. All penguins live south of the equator

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Q   5:  In what book of The Bible is God not mentioned?

A   5:  The book of Esther.

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Q   6:  What do they call a “French kiss” in France?

A   6:  An “English Kiss”.

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Q   7:  What is the longest English word without a vowel?

A   7:  “Rhythm”

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Q   8:  What is the driest state in the U.S.?

A   8:  Nevada. Each year it averages 7.5 inches (19 cm) of rain.

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Q   9:  A group of toads is called a what?

A   9:  A knot.

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Q  10:  The first toilet ever seen on television was on what show?

A  10:  “Leave It to Beaver.”

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Q  11:  How many of the 44 US Presidents has worn glasses?

A  11:  Every US president has worn glasses (just not always in public).

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Q  12:  Can you think of a word that is pronounced differently by merely capitalizing the first letter?

There are several, a point for each.

A  12:  Here are some examples, there could be others

1. job  and  Job

2. herb  and  Herb

3. polish  and  Polish

and there could be more, so well done if you thought of others.

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Q  13:  What word describes a woman who does not have all her fingers on one hand?

A  13:  “Normal”. Normal people do not have ‘all’ their fingers on ‘one’ hand.

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Q  14:  At various times throughout history known as the “President’s Palace,” the “President’s House,” and the “Executive Mansion”, what US President officially gave the White House its current name in 1901?

A  14:  Theodore Roosevelt

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Q  15:  What is the only capital letter in the Roman alphabet (the one we use) with exactly one end point?

A  15:  The only capital letter in the Roman alphabet with exactly one end point is P.

Check out the others if you want, A(2), B (0), C (2), D (0), E (3), F (3), G (2), H (4), I (2), J (2), K (4), L (2), M (2), N (2), O (0), Q (2), R (2), S (2), T (3), U (2), V (2), W (2), X (4), Y (3), Z (2).  

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Q  16:  What US state’s motto is “Wisdom, Justice and Moderation.”

A  16:  The state motto of Georgia is “Wisdom, Justice and Moderation.”

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Q  17:  What TV comedy series character’s catchphrase was “I’m listening”?

A  17:  Frasier Crane played by the ever excellent Kelsey Grammar.

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Q  18:  In what country do people generally answer the phone by saying, “I’m listening”.

A  18:  Russians generally answer the phone by saying, “I’m listening”.

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Q  19:  What is light as a feather, but even the strongest man cannot hold it more than a few minutes?

A  19:  His breath.

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Q  20:  How can you make seven even?

A  20:  Just take away the “s”, duhhhh!

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Not so easy. Hope you did okay!

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Crikey! Not Another Quiz?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, I’m afraid so. Another Monday quiz to get the brain working for the rest of the week.

As usual we have a varied and random selection of questions, some easy, some tricky, but most of them difficult enough.

Especially if you don’t know the answers, which as ever are given waaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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Quiz 5

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Q  1:  Who invented Basketball and what was his nationality?

Well, okay, that’s a pretty tough one to begin with, so you get a point just for getting the nationality right. 

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Q  2:  What are three consecutive strikes in bowling called?

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Q  3:  By what name is the Red Cross known in Arab countries?

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Q  4:  What is most household dust is made up of?

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Q  5:  Who was the first person on the sci-fi TV series Star Trek to say the words, “Beam me up, Scotty”?

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Q  6:  Two legendary Americans were among those who died at the battle of The Alamo.

Can you name at least one?

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Q  7:  Who lives longer on average, right handed people, or left handed people?

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Q  8:  In the U.S, which one of these four items outsells the other three combined?

Baseballs

Basketballs

Frisbees

Footballs

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Q  9:  You have seen this many many times but have you noticed it?

What is the time displayed on most watch advertisements?

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Q 10:  What is peculiar, unusual or noteworthy about the words “facetious” and “abstemious”?

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Q 11:  It is well known that the Apollo 11 mission was the first to land men on the Moon.

But the crew from which Apollo mission were the last men to set foot on the moon?

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Q 12:  On a ship what is a toilet called?

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Q 13:  What is the name of the squiggly line “~” on keyboards?

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Q 14:  By what name is actress Caryn Elaine Johnson better known?

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Q 15:  What was the first country to issue postage stamps in 1840?

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Q 16:  What was the former name of the country now known as Iran?

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Q 17:  In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented where?

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Q 18:  What are the markings that are found on dice called?

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Q 19:  Water that is safe to drink is referred to as what?

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Q 20:  What is the second largest French speaking city after Paris?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  Who invented Basketball and what was his nationality?

A  1:  James Naismith in 1891. He was Canadian. 

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Q  2:  What are three consecutive strikes in bowling called?

A  2:  A turkey

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Q  3:  By what name is the Red Cross known in Arab countries?

A  3:  The Red Crescent

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Q  4:  What is most household dust is made up of?

A  4:  Most household dust is made up of dead skin cells.

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Q  5:  Who was the first person on the sci-fi TV series Star Trek to say the words, “Beam me up, Scotty”?

A  5:  Nobody. Contrary to popular myth, they NEVER said “Beam me up, Scotty” on Star Trek.

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Q  6:  Two legendary Americans were among those who died at the battle of The Alamo.

Can you name at least one?

A  6:  Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett

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Q  7:  Who lives longer on average, right handed people, or left handed people?

A  7:  Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

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Q  8:  In the U.S, which one of these four items outsells the other three combined?

Baseballs

Basketballs

Frisbees

Footballs

A  8:  In the U.S, frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.

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Q  9:  You have seen this many many times but have you noticed it?

What is the time displayed on most watch advertisements?

A  9:  In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

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Q 10:  What is peculiar, unusual or noteworthy about the words “facetious” and “abstemious”?

A 10:  The words “facetious” and “abstemious” contain all the vowels in the correct order.

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Q 11:  It is well known that the Apollo 11 mission was the first to land men on the Moon.

But the crew from which Apollo mission were the last men to set foot on the moon?

A 11:  Apollo 17

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Q 12:  On a ship what is a toilet called?

A 12:  The head

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Q 13:  What is the name of the squiggly line “~” on keyboards?

A 13:  A tilde

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Q 14:  By what name is actress Caryn Elaine Johnson better known?

A 14:  Whoopi Goldberg

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Q 15:  What was the first country to issue postage stamps in 1840?

A 15:  Great Britain

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Q 16:  What was the former name of the country now known as Iran?

A 16:  Persia

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Q 17:  In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented where?

A 17:  The hot air balloon was invented in France.

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Q 18:  What are the markings that are found on dice called?

A 18:  The markings found on dice are called “pips.”

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Q 19:  Water that is safe to drink is referred to as what?

A 19:  Potable

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Q 20:  What is the second largest French speaking city after Paris?

A 20:  Montreal

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It’s An Ill Wind….

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The original title of this post was “Farting On Airplanes” because it is really about farting on airplanes, but I thought it might be better just to call it “It’s An Ill Wind”.

No, come on, now you know don’t turn your noses up, or pretend this is something that (a) you’ve never thought about, or (b) never done. Farting on airplanes is an international phenomenon that transcends all nationalities, religions, ages, creeds, classes and colors.

It is in fact the common bond of all the world’s travelers.

Whether it can ever bring us closer together, however, is another thing (Phew!)

longer larger fart plane

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This is a quite embarrassing story. Not something one would normally admit to, but people write unusual things on blogs.

It concerns one of the first long haul flights that I was ever on.

Nowadays, as a seasoned flyer, I always have a good meal before the flight. I don’t suffer from air sickness of any kind and I don’t care for the stuff they call airline food. Back then, however, I was a novice and ended up on board without any breakfast other than a cup of coffee. My stomach was empty – of food anyhow.

All was well for about twenty or thirty minutes and then it started.

The obvious solution would have been to get up and go to the toilet. But easy options aren’t the way I have gone through life so far.

Also it was a big plane, a 747, and the toilets were quite a bit away from my seat. I would face a long walk down the narrow aisle.

Not that the walk itself was the problem. It was just that whoever designs airline seats has arranged things so that the nose and ears of the person sitting down is just about at the same height as the bottom of the person walking casually past.

You see the predicament?

In any case, I found myself in a window seat with two other seats to negotiate before I got to the aisle. Such was the pressure building up that I feared the exertion of hopping over the additional seats would make the whole purpose of the journey somewhat redundant.

There was nothing for it but to stay where I was, with the unfortunate choice being either bursting or releasing some of the pressure. Not unnaturally I chose to do the latter option.

As these things go it was a substantial outcome. But the drone of the plane engines (they were a lot louder in those days, I think, I hope, weren’t they?) seemed to drown out any other background noises.

I didn’t hear a thing.

I double checked by having a quick look at the person unfortunate enough to be sitting beside me, but there was no sign in the expression on his face that anything untoward had happened. Either that or he was a professional poker player with a practiced deadpan expression – or in a state of semi consciousness as a result of the concussive force emanating from the seat beside him.

My confidence grew. I thought of the famous campfire scene from Blazing Saddles and let a few more go in tribute.

Farting Mid Flight

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I was so happy at the relief and at the fact that all was undetected that I allowed myself a triumphant smile, and then even a laugh. The movie I was watching was a comedy so my laughter didn’t look out of place either.

It was all good.

Hang on a minute.

All was not as good as it seemed.

Cut the laughter and cue serious worried face.

I suddenly realized that all this time I had been wearing the headphones the flight attendant had given us for the movies they were showing. No wonder I had heard nothing!

Oh dear me! What had I done?

Well, I knew what I had done, of course. The big question now was, did anyone else know? Had they heard me doing it?

I looked again at the man in the seat beside me. Again no perceivable reaction on his face that indicated that anything out of the ordinary had happened, although now I was aware of them I saw that he too was wearing the headphones.   

I was relieved a bit, but still very curious. And when I get curious about something I have to try to find an answer.

So there was nothing for it but let rip again, this time with my headphones off.

And that’s what I did.

Thankfully, in the interests of the scientific experiment now under way, the quality of the offending item had not diminished in force. A guy knows about these things even without any audio feedback.

To my great relief, in every meaning of the word, I still didn’t hear a thing. The drone of the airplane engines had indeed drowned out any other sounds.

It was a magnificently liberating experience and from that day on I have never looked back, as it were.

Further experimentation revealed that the same undetectable result could be achieved even on much smaller airplanes. Commercial jets I’m talking about, of course, this is not a sport to indulge in on a single engined Cesna or something like that.

I also found out that it is possible I have been saving the airlines lucky enough to win my custom a small fortune. As you know the air in airplanes these days is all re-circulated and, as the methane content of a fart is lighter than air, the captured gas therefore contributes to keeping the airplane airborne with a consequent saving on fuel. That’s my story anyhow.

farting in airplanes

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And the good news just keeps on coming.

Independent research confirms that a person’s sense of smell is greatly suppressed in the reduced cabin air pressure, which incidentally is also why airplane food tastes so bad. 

So now if you are on an airplane and sitting beside someone who is chuckling to himself – or herself, yes ladies your secret is out – you’ll know the real reason why!

One day it might even be me!!!

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Strange Rooms

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Just a short post this Sunday. Something that a friend emailed to me a little while ago that I thought was worth sharing. If you have seen it before, my apologies, if you haven’t, I think it is worth a look.

Enjoy.

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PUBLIC TOILET

This is a picture of a public toilet

in Houston

…. from the outside it looks like this:

(scroll down.)

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Now that you’ve seen the outside view

take a look at the inside view…

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It’s

made

entirely of one-way glass!

No one

can see you

from the outside,

but

when you are inside

it’s like sitting in a clear glass box!

Now

would you…

COULD YOU….???
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NEXT

A  PAINTED  BATHROOM  FLOOR!!!

The tenth floor of a hi-rise building………

IMAGINE

YOU ARE AT A PARTY ..

AND THEN

YOU HAVE TO VISIT THE BATHROOM….

You open the door….

NOW, REMEMBER

THE FLOOR IS JUST A PAINTED FLOOR 

Scroll 

sloooooooowly.

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Would this mess up your mind???
Would you be able to

walk into this bathroom???

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FINALLY!!

THIS

IS A CEILING MURAL……

IN A SMOKER’S LOUNGE.
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smokers lounge with painted ceiling

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