I Used To Be Quite Good At Wordplay. Once A Pun A Time!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Once a pun a time there was a blog that championed that element of humor called word play. You are about to read the latest batch of these puns right now.

So all that remains to be said is, enjoy!

.

.

I walked into the boss’s office and handed him a pear.

“What’s this for?” He asked.

“A pay rise.” I replied.

“My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you.”

grow-a-pear

.

.

The other day a friend of mine hit me with a chocolate bar.

How dairy!

cadbury-dairy-milk

.

.

HMV to close sixty stores.

Is this the Vinyl Countdown?

cadbury-dairy-milk

.

.

I won £10,000 on a scratchcard last week and the wife said

we should draw up a list of what to spend it on.

“Well, I’m going to book a holiday for one.”

“Oh goody” she screamed excitedly, “I can’t wait!”

Can’t help thinking she’s misunderstood what I said.

single-vacation

.

.

I was reading through the ingredients for

a fruit salad I’m making today and it said:

“Pineapples: five cubed.”

I’m not sure though,

125 will probably be too many.

5 cubed

.

.

My friend has no hands.

I feel for him.

no hands

.

.

When I was young, my mum always used to hit me with the telephone.

I was always on the receiving end…..

telephone-cartoon

.

.

My calculator is missing the minus button,

but on the plus side, it still works.

calculator

.

.

A gay guy asked me if I liked to blow people.

I told him I’m not a fan.

cartoons-fan

.

.

I just hired a really uncomfortable car.

It Hertz like hell.

hertz

.

.

I said to my friend, “I just watched that film about the Nazis.”

He said, “Oh what, the one with Adolf in?”

I said, “No mate, you’re thinking of ‘Flipper’, this was just about the Nazis.”

flipper

.

.

I went house hunting at the weekend.

I went to see one house that had mirrors all over the walls.

I thought, “I can see myself living here.”

mirror walls

.

.

I told my Chinese friend that I bought very cheap cigarettes

that were shipped in from a foreign country.

He said, “Is that Regal?”

regal cigarettes

.

.

Why shouldn’t you buy Ukrainian underpants?

Because Chernobyl fallout.

ukraine_viktoryanukovych

.

.

I was walking into my local pub,

when I suddenly realized it was darts night.

So I did a 180 and left.

darts 180

.

.

Our Brazilian housekeeper is rubbish at making the beds.

She’s very tidy downstairs though.            

brazilian

.

.

There was an unbelievably close finish

in this years “Shemale of the year” contest.

It was a Thai.        

thai

.

.

Everyone can put on their curriculum vitae

that they know a little Latin.

logo CV

.

.

I’ve got a fear of two-letter words.

I get scared just thinking about it.

Scary

.

.

I turned to my wife last night and said,

“I’m into anal”.

She gave me a look of despair and glared at me as she said,

“Animal”.

I love it when we do the cryptic crossword together.

cryptic crossword

.

=================================

.

Did They Really Mean To Say That? Newspaper Headlines Nightmares!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I did a long series a little while ago called “CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only” showing a feast of classified ads both business and personal that didn’t quite turn out as intended – with very amusing results most of the time.

Well, it turns out that the editors and headline writers of newspapers don’t do that much better a job when you see some of their efforts in print.

Try this selection, for example.

Enjoy.

.

.

np_52footofficers .

.

.

np_7daydiarhearunsthrough

.

.

.

np_800poundball

.

.

.

np_9whocare

.

.

.

np_ablindear

.

.

.

np_affordablehousing

.

.

.

np_animalrightsgroup

.

.

.

np_arodgoesdeep

.

.

.

np_attorneysureshimself

.

.

.

np_barbershopsingfordeaf

.

.

.

np_breathingoxygen

.

.

.

np_breathingregularly

.

.

.

np_bridgeshelppeople

.

.

.

np_casketsfound

.

.

======================================

.

Did You Know? More From The Strange Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Here is another very random selection of strange facts from fasab’s files.

As with other in this series, by the time you have read these you will know more than you did and possible more than you want to.

But have a look anyway.

Enjoy.

.

.

The adult electric eel can produce a five hundred volt shock,

which is enough to stun a horse

– and I don’t mean a seahorse!

electric eel

.

As an iceberg melts, it makes a fizzing sound
because of the compressed air bubbles popping in the ice

iceberg

Kermit the frog delivered the commencement address

at Southampton College located in the state of New York in 1996

Kermit

The mythical Scottish town of Brigadoon

appears for one day every one hundred years

Brigadoon

A rainbow can occur only when the sun

is 40 degrees or less above the horizon

rainbow

The most common injury caused by cosmetics

is to the eye by a mascara wand

mascara-wand

. 

The sound made by the toadfish when mating underwater

is so loud that it can be heard by humans on the shore

toadfish

In America, approximately 20% of children between

the ages of 2 – 7 have televisions in their rooms

cartoon-tv-man

Families who do turn off the television during meals tend to eat healthier.

This was regardless of family income, or education

healthy-eating1

Two out of five people end up marrying their first love

first love

Forty-one percent of women apply body and

hand moisturizer at least three times a day

woman-applying-moisturizer

Scientists have determined that having guilty feelings

may actually damage your immune system

Feeling Guilty after Eating pactket in my Papperoni__

The first box of Crayola that was ever sold

had the same eight colours that are sold in the box today

consisting of red, blue, yellow, green, violet, orange, black and brown.

The box was sold for a nickel in 1903

CrayolaCrayons24CtOpenBox

The best time for a person to buy shoes is in the afternoon.

This is because the foot tends to swell a bit around this time

swollen_feet_by_jerrykongart-d388jbm

According to psychologists, the shoe and the foot

are the most common sources of sexual fetishism in Western society

foot fetish

. 

Bank robber John Dillinger played professional baseball

dillinger baseball
John Dillinger top left

The first company to mass produce teddy bears was the Ideal Toy Company

ideal-toy-corp-teddy-bear-1910

Flight pioneer and pilot, Orville Wright,

was involved in the first aircraft accident.

His passenger was killed.

Orville Wright crash

The mother of famous astronomer Johannes Kepler

was accused of being a witch

Johannes_Kepler_1610
Johannes Kepler 1610

In the past 60 years, the groundhog has only predicted

the weather correctly 28% of the time.

The rushing back and forth from burrows

is believed to indicate sexual activity, not shadow seeking

groundhog

. 

=================================

. 

Maybe We Should Rename Monday As Quiz Day?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

There, you have had the first question in the title. So should we?

If that one is too easy try this random selection of questions. As usual there are some easy, some tricky, but most of them difficult enough, unless you know the answers, of course!.

And just in case you don’t know some of the answers, they are, as ever, given waaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

.

quiz 2

.

Q  1:  Who was originally called “Happy Rabbit”?

.

.

Q  2:  In Italy who is known by the name Babbo Natale?

.

.

Q  3:  What did Thailand used to be called?

.

.

Q  4:  Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as what?

.

.

Q  5:  What is the only nation whose name begins with an “A” but doesn’t end in an “A”?

(Hint: you have heard about this place a LOT)

.

.

Q  6:  Astronaut Neil Armstrong was the first man who stepped on the moon, but which foot landed first?

.

.

Q  7:  What is the only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible?

.

.

Q  8:  What is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end?

.

.

Q  9:  A group of rhinos is called what?

.

.

Q 10:  What is the most popular first name in the world?

.

.

Q 11:  What city stands on about 120 small islands?

.

.

Q 12:  What is Barbie’s full name?

.

.

Q 13:  Which is bigger, England or the US state of Florida?

.

.

Q 14:  What are the United State’s only mobile National Monuments?

.

.

Q 15:  Who was the only unmarried president of the US?

.

.

Q 16:  In the 1940’s, what changed its name from Bich for fear that Americans would pronounce it ‘Bitch.’

.

.

Q 17:  What is the only country in the world where windmills turn clockwise?

.

.

Q 18:  What is the only movie to have its sequel released the same year (1933)?

.

.

Q 19:  In humans it is called an epidemic, but what is it called when it affects animals?

.

.

Q 20:  The Don McLean song, “American Pie” was named after what?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q  1:  Who was originally called “Happy Rabbit”?

A  1:  Bugs Bunny

.

.

Q  2:  In Italy who is known by the name Babbo Natale?

A  2:  Santa Claus

.

.

Q  3:  What did Thailand used to be called?

A  3:  Siam

.

.

Q  4:  Until 1796, there was a state in the United States called Franklin. Today it is known as what?

A  4:  Tennessee

.

.

Q  5:  What is the only nation whose name begins with an “A” but doesn’t end in an “A”?

(Hint: you have heard about this place a LOT)

A  5:  Afghanistan

.

.

Q  6:  Astronaut Neil Armstrong was the first man who stepped on the moon, but which foot landed first?

A  6:  His left foot

.

.

Q  7:  What is the only domestic animal not mentioned in the Bible?

A  7:  The cat

.

.

Q  8:  What is the only muscle in your body that is attached at only one end?

A  8:  Your tongue

.

.

Q  9:  A group of rhinos is called what?

A  9:  A crash

.

.

Q 10:  What is the most popular first name in the world?

A 10:  Muhammad

.

.

Q 11:  What city stands on about 120 small islands?

A 11:  Venice

.

.

Q 12:  What is Barbie’s full name?

A 12:  “Babara Millicent Roberts.”

.

.

Q 13:  Which is bigger, England or the US state of Florida?

A 13:  The state of Florida

.

.

Q 14:  What are the United State’s only mobile National Monuments?

A 14:  The San Francisco Cable cars

.

.

Q 15:  Who was the only unmarried president of the US?

A 15:  James Buchanan

.

.

Q 16:  In the 1940’s, what changed its name from Bich for fear that Americans would pronounce it ‘Bitch.’

A 16:  The “Bic” pen

.

.

Q 17:  What is the only country in the world where windmills turn clockwise?

A 17:  Ireland

.

.

Q 18:  What is the only movie to have its sequel released the same year (1933)?

A 18:  “King Kong” and “Son Of Kong”

.

.

Q 19:  In humans it is called an epidemic, but what is it called when it affects animals?

A 19:  An epizootic

.

.

Q 20:  The Don McLean song, “American Pie” was named after what?

A 20:  The airplane Buddy Holly died in was the “American Pie.”

.

===========================================

.

There Comes A Time When Zero Tolerance Is The Only Option

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Time for another rant, now known as the Sunday Sermon.

.

For many years there has been an influx of Muslims into Western countries like, for example, America and Britain. And for years these people arrived and set to work to provide a better life for their families, which was reason they chose our countries in the first place.

Sometimes we treated them with respect. At other times their treatment was not so welcoming. But the vast majority accepted things as they were and worked hard, with the result that they did make a better life for themselves.

However, now all of a sudden, because of the rants of a few demented and evil clerics who have corrupted the words of Allah and the meaning of the Koran, some Muslims are now offended by everything, including the very presence of the citizens of the countries they have chosen to come and live among.

How absurd is that?

Worse, however, is that we are supposed to pander to this nonsense and tippy toe around them afraid to do or say anything in case it will be distorted and manufactured into something offensive.

And if we don’t?

Well then they will cut our head’s off in the middle of a street and stand bragging about it afterwards.

That is exactly what happened in London this week when Drummer Lee Rigby, a British soldier, was first knocked down by a car driven by two blood-thirsty killers and then decapitated as he lay helpless on the street.  

murdered soldier Drummer Lee Rigby
murdered soldier Drummer Lee Rigby

On any scale of things that are offensive, it just doesn’t get any more offensive than that.

Yet we are supposed to tolerate the intolerable and excuse the inexcusable!

Let’s get real folks.

Some things are unacceptable in western society. And if you choose to live in western society then you live by our rules, not yours.

When I visit a Muslim country where, for example, drinking alcohol is forbidden, I don’t put on the pretense of being offended, I don’t whine about my rights being denied, in fact I don’t complain at all. I am in their country, those are their rules, and while I am there I am happy to respect them and abide by them.

Why is there no reciprocal respect any more?

And even more to the point, why is that reciprocal respect not demanded?

We have allowed our politicians to cloud the issue by blundering about in foreign lands. They say they are doing it to fight terrorism and protect us, but in reality it has much more to do with securing commodities and distracting us from much more serious economic problems they have created at home.

Politicians manipulate their people by creating ‘bogey men’ and fomenting fear where none should really exist. They do it, not for the benefit of their constituents, but for their own self promotion and their attempt to cling on to power. It happens in every country, east or west, north or south, and it has been happening for centuries.

And what is happening to elements of the Muslim population today is no different. In their case the manipulation is made slightly easier because the evil clerics are able to deceive their largely uneducated and ignorant followers with the promise of seventy virgins and a place in heaven if they either kill themselves or other innocent people – preferably both at the same time. Strange, if the reward is so great, that you never see the clerics themselves pushing to the front of the queue to participate!  

There is a horrible trend nowadays that standards must be allowed to come down to the lowest level. Exams in schools and degrees at universities have to be made easier and easier to pass, lest some be deemed not to have qualified. Everyone has to be treated as a potential terrorist at airports in case selective targeting of possible suspects be labeled as racial or ethnic profiling. And every effort has to be made try to understand and excuse the criminals in our society who prey on the law-abiding.

We have completely lost our way. And the only solution is to take a stand on these important issues. Try to be nice, and understanding, and liked by everyone and you doom yourself and your society. There comes a time when the proverbial line has to be drawn in the sand. And there comes a time when zero tolerance is the only option.

That time is now!

.

====================================

.

Further Furry Fun!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

I feel a bit of a Sunday Sermon coming on, if I get the time to write it.

But for today something a lot lighter and hopefully amusing.

It’s a second helping of our animal friends. They are fun.

Enjoy.

.

.

funny_animals 18

.

.

.

funny_animals 19

.

.

.

funny_animals 20

.

.

.

funny_animals 21

.

.

.

funny_animals 22

.

.

.

funny_animals 23

.

.

.

funny_animals 24

.

.

.

funny_animals 25

.

.

.

funny_animals 26

.

.

.

funny_animals-27 originally PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

.

.

.

funny_animals-28 originally PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

.

.

.

funny_animals 29
Is it just me, or does this little feller look like Lil John recently on Celebrity Apprentice?

.

.

.

funny_animals 30

.

.

.

funny_animals 31 PUBLISHED by catsmob.com

.

.

.

funny_animals 32

.

.

.

funny_animals 34

.

.

.

funny_animals 33

.

.

==============================================

.

The Primary Responsibility For A Child’s Education Is Apparent.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, that’s right, The primary responsibility for a child’s education is apparent.

But everyone’s education would not be complete without a healthy dose of puns.

Always here to help, here’s today’s selection.

Enjoy!

.

.

I went into a fancy dress shop and asked the woman

working there if they had any ghost costumes.

She said “We don’t sell those, I’m afraid.”

Stupid woman. They’re not that scary.

ghost-towel

.

.

ABC NEWS:

French Chef commits suicide after critic’s attack.

After further investigation it turns out

he simply lost the huile d’olive.

huile-d-olive

.

.

I went to a really posh school.

In fact, the school was so posh that the Gym was called James.

gym cartoon

.

.

I have a friend who’s half Indian.

Ian.

half indian

.

.

Cleavage is the only thing that you can look down on

and approve of at the same time.

cleavage

.

.

My girlfriend broke up with me yesterday because of my obsession.

She said, “I’m sick of it. You actually believe that you’re a Transformer.

It’s stupid. I’ve had enough and I’m leaving you.”

I said, “But, Baby, I can change.”

She said, “There you go again!”

Transformer

.

.

I put a couple of ‘t’s in my beer last night.

I think it made it better.

BeerBetter

.

.

Shouldn’t the Air and Space museum be empty?

air and space museum

.

.

I put a wooden desk and a blackboard in my bedroom.

You know, to make it more classy.

school desk

.

.

I was only young when I learned to count.

It was odd at first, even then.

cartoon-numbers-set

.

.

In a cave, I found pictures of women’s breasts,

but when I picked them up, a giant net fell on me.

Damn booby trap.

booby_traps_by_vmv_81-d3ickn1

.

.

I make £1,000,000 a month cleaning Windows.

I invented Norton Anti-virus.

Norton

.

.

My parents gave me a really cheap dictionary for my birthday yesterday.

I couldn’t find the words to thank them.

dictionary

.

.

I never let my children watch big band performances on TV.

Too much sax and violins.

sax_and_violins

.

.

There’s one thing I can’t stand when I’m drunk.

Up!

drunk

.

.

Einstein eventually developed a theory about space.

And it was about time too.

albert_einstein_328565

.

.

I’m so broke at the moment that all I can

afford to eat are herbs my mate has lent me.

I’m living on borrowed thyme.

thyme

.

.

I’ve just seen a group on Facebook called, ‘I hate feet’.

Obviously these people are fans of the metric system.

metric-system-copyright-Allan-Inman

.

.

Talking to her about computer hardware,

makes my mother board.

motherboard

.

.

My wife has packed her bags and gone –

just because of my fetish with touching pasta.

I’m feeling cannelloni right now.

pasta

.

===============================

.

More Random Samples From The Fasab Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

If its facts you want we have them!

So here is another selection.

If you can’t find something you don’t know in here then you know far too much.

Enjoy.

.

did you know3

.

“Kemo Sabe”, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger

means “Soggy Shrub” in Navajo Indian.

The Tonto in Spanish means “a fool”.

Lone Ranger and Tonto

.

.

Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

ketchup

.

.

Killer whales have such a good sense of touch

that if you dropped a pill into a bucket

and feed it to the orca

it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.

Shamu_the_Killer_Whale_Sea_World_Orlando

.

.

Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Kleenex

.

.

Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs

have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD.

Oh mummy!

knitted socks

.

.

Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969,

there by setting a new world’s record

for runners in the 100 years or older class.

He was 101.

old-runner

.

.

5% of Canadians don’t know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem,

but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

Canadian Anthem

.

7% of Americans don’t know the first 9 words of the American anthem,

but know the first 7 of the Canadian anthem.

American Anthem

.

.

85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S.

paper

.

.

99% of the solar system’s mass is concentrated in the sun.

sun-etc

.

.

There is a company in Taiwan makes dinnerware

out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

wheat dinnerware

.

.

About 70% of Americans who go to college

do it just to make more money.

(The rest are just avoiding reality for four more years.)

college

.

.

America once issued a 5-cent bill.

5 Cent Bill

.

.

The Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahuac,

whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

Now there’s revenge for you!

cuitlahuac_realista

.

.

Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of

their unwanted people without killing them

used to burn their houses down

– hence the expression “to get fired.”

youre-fired

.

.

Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland

because he doesn’t wear pants

– the little pecker!

donald_duck

.

.

Marijuana is not as chemically addictive

as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today

is because in the 1930’s cotton growers lobbied against

hemp farmers whom they saw it as competition.

marijuana-leaf

.

.

Special playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.

If captured, they could be soaked in water

and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

map-card

.

.

The three best-known western names in China are

Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

.

.

Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill,

‘If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’.

To which Churchill replied,

‘If you were my wife, I would drink it’.

Astor vs Churchill

.

===================================

.

Crikey! Not Another Quiz?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yes, I’m afraid so. Another Monday quiz to get the brain working for the rest of the week.

As usual we have a varied and random selection of questions, some easy, some tricky, but most of them difficult enough.

Especially if you don’t know the answers, which as ever are given waaaaaaaaaaay down below.

But NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

.

Quiz 5

.

Q  1:  Who invented Basketball and what was his nationality?

Well, okay, that’s a pretty tough one to begin with, so you get a point just for getting the nationality right. 

.

.

Q  2:  What are three consecutive strikes in bowling called?

.

.

Q  3:  By what name is the Red Cross known in Arab countries?

.

.

Q  4:  What is most household dust is made up of?

.

.

Q  5:  Who was the first person on the sci-fi TV series Star Trek to say the words, “Beam me up, Scotty”?

.

.

Q  6:  Two legendary Americans were among those who died at the battle of The Alamo.

Can you name at least one?

.

.

Q  7:  Who lives longer on average, right handed people, or left handed people?

.

.

Q  8:  In the U.S, which one of these four items outsells the other three combined?

Baseballs

Basketballs

Frisbees

Footballs

.

.

Q  9:  You have seen this many many times but have you noticed it?

What is the time displayed on most watch advertisements?

.

.

Q 10:  What is peculiar, unusual or noteworthy about the words “facetious” and “abstemious”?

.

.

Q 11:  It is well known that the Apollo 11 mission was the first to land men on the Moon.

But the crew from which Apollo mission were the last men to set foot on the moon?

.

.

Q 12:  On a ship what is a toilet called?

.

.

Q 13:  What is the name of the squiggly line “~” on keyboards?

.

.

Q 14:  By what name is actress Caryn Elaine Johnson better known?

.

.

Q 15:  What was the first country to issue postage stamps in 1840?

.

.

Q 16:  What was the former name of the country now known as Iran?

.

.

Q 17:  In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented where?

.

.

Q 18:  What are the markings that are found on dice called?

.

.

Q 19:  Water that is safe to drink is referred to as what?

.

.

Q 20:  What is the second largest French speaking city after Paris?

.

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

.

ANSWERS

.

Q  1:  Who invented Basketball and what was his nationality?

A  1:  James Naismith in 1891. He was Canadian. 

.

.

Q  2:  What are three consecutive strikes in bowling called?

A  2:  A turkey

.

.

Q  3:  By what name is the Red Cross known in Arab countries?

A  3:  The Red Crescent

.

.

Q  4:  What is most household dust is made up of?

A  4:  Most household dust is made up of dead skin cells.

.

.

Q  5:  Who was the first person on the sci-fi TV series Star Trek to say the words, “Beam me up, Scotty”?

A  5:  Nobody. Contrary to popular myth, they NEVER said “Beam me up, Scotty” on Star Trek.

.

.

Q  6:  Two legendary Americans were among those who died at the battle of The Alamo.

Can you name at least one?

A  6:  Jim Bowie and Davy Crockett

.

.

Q  7:  Who lives longer on average, right handed people, or left handed people?

A  7:  Right handed people live, on average, nine years longer than left handed people do.

.

.

Q  8:  In the U.S, which one of these four items outsells the other three combined?

Baseballs

Basketballs

Frisbees

Footballs

A  8:  In the U.S, frisbees outsell footballs, baseballs and basketballs combined.

.

.

Q  9:  You have seen this many many times but have you noticed it?

What is the time displayed on most watch advertisements?

A  9:  In most watch advertisements the time displayed on a watch is 10:10.

.

.

Q 10:  What is peculiar, unusual or noteworthy about the words “facetious” and “abstemious”?

A 10:  The words “facetious” and “abstemious” contain all the vowels in the correct order.

.

.

Q 11:  It is well known that the Apollo 11 mission was the first to land men on the Moon.

But the crew from which Apollo mission were the last men to set foot on the moon?

A 11:  Apollo 17

.

.

Q 12:  On a ship what is a toilet called?

A 12:  The head

.

.

Q 13:  What is the name of the squiggly line “~” on keyboards?

A 13:  A tilde

.

.

Q 14:  By what name is actress Caryn Elaine Johnson better known?

A 14:  Whoopi Goldberg

.

.

Q 15:  What was the first country to issue postage stamps in 1840?

A 15:  Great Britain

.

.

Q 16:  What was the former name of the country now known as Iran?

A 16:  Persia

.

.

Q 17:  In 1783, the hot air balloon was invented where?

A 17:  The hot air balloon was invented in France.

.

.

Q 18:  What are the markings that are found on dice called?

A 18:  The markings found on dice are called “pips.”

.

.

Q 19:  Water that is safe to drink is referred to as what?

A 19:  Potable

.

.

Q 20:  What is the second largest French speaking city after Paris?

A 20:  Montreal

.

==============================================

.

I Told You They Were Coming!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Time for another Sunday Sermon, otherwise known as a rant!

 Foreclosure Notice Yellow Photo

.

First it was Cyprus where the bankrupt government tried to steal money right out of people’s bank accounts. If you want to read that again click here and here.)

Then it was the turn of the greedy bureaucrats in Australia who decided to tax pensions TWICE, once when you put the money in and again when you tried to take it out! (For the original post click here.) 

Now in bankrupt Spain the politicians are at it, however, this time they aren’t proposing to steal some of the money in your bank account  –  oh no, this time they want to steal your entire home!

Yes, you read it right, the Spanish government has announced this past week that they want to seize homes that have been foreclosed on by banks and developers.

Not that I have any sympathy with the banksters, not by a long chalk! But theft is theft, and theft by governments is perhaps the most evil of all simply because the victims have little or no remedies available – other than pack up and go somewhere else.

se vende

.

As usual the politicians and bureaucrats are trying to dress this theft up as something helpful. They say they will rent the confiscated foreclosed homes to Spanish families who will be allowed to live there rent-free for up to three years.

Sounds great, but as usual what these political morons have failed to do is think their policy through.

If they go ahead with this plan to steal homes the consequences will not be what they think.

First of all it will destroy what is left of the mortgage market in Spain because no one will want to make home loans on Spanish real estate if there is no viable foreclosure mechanism should things go wrong for the mortgagee.

Second, it will go a long way to killing off the buy-to-let sector, which is the thing that has been keeping the real estate market afloat in these financially strained times. Home sales, not just in Spain, but in many countries have been boosted considerably by cash rich investors picking up what they consider to be ‘bargain’ properties at a level that yields a decent return on their capital. Where will they get that return if the government kills the rental sector by renting out homes for free?

And third, it will also kill off the recent Spanish drive to attract foreign investors by offering residency to anyone who spends around $200,000 buying up the glut of Spanish property currently on its real estate market.   

If these things were happening in Zimbabwe or even Venezuela everyone would be calling it a disgrace. But it is happening in Europe and Australia and America. And it will get worse the more desperate the politicians and the bureaucrats become as they make the mess they created worse, not better.

Who on earth put idiots like these in charge?

It wasn’t you was it?

pointing_finger_clip_art_23483

.

==================================

.