A Simile Is Like A Metaphor – Literally!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


I was going to introduce today’s post by saying some like “I hope you are having a pun-tastic week”, but I thought I would sound like a demented DJ from the 1970s.

So I’ll just say hello and welcome and let you get on with the puns.

Enjoy or endure!!





the new way to spell “Light,”

now with 20% fewer letters!




I was asked to man the phones

at work the other day.

So I went round and drew a

little mustache on all of them.

phone with moustache





It’s not brian surgery.





A small pig.

small pig with guitar



According to my Spanish doctor

I have Hepatitis Yes





My doctor told me to quit my helium addiction

before I got carried away.

helium addiction



2B or not 2B?

I don’t think I’ve ever put this much thought

into which shade of pencil to use before.

2b or not 2b [encils



‘UK Man has first hand transplant.’

Surely that’s a second hand transplant.

hand transplant



I was taking a short cut across a field the other day,

I was halfway across when the farmer approached me and said,

“Did you leave that small wooden step at the edge of my field?”

I replied, “No, it wasn’t me, that’s not my stile”




Someone told me if you

smack a fish before frying it,

the meat will taste fresher.

What a load of codswallop.




I’ve just accidentally superglued my fingers

to a copy of my autobiography.

That’s my story and I’m sticking to it.

super glue



Me and my limbo dancing team

go way back

limbo dancing




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