The Big Easy Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well maybe not just so easy a quiz as all that. You’ll find out below, and why I called it that too.

All the usual mixture of questions are here.

And as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 4

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Q.  1:  What city is known as ‘The Big Easy’ ?

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Q.  2:  What color are the flowers of the ‘harebell’ ?

            a)  red            b) green            c) blue            d) yellow

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the process in which a solid turns directly into a gas, without passing through the liquid phase?

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Q.  4:  What is the largest wild member of the dog family?

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Q.  5:  Which element has the symbol ‘Au’ ?

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Q.  6:  What is the electrical unit of resistance?

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Q.  7:  Who invented the jet engine in 1930?

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Q.  8:  How many sheets of paper are there in a ‘ream’ ?

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Q.  9:  It is called the ‘Hunter’ and consists of 3 stars, what is the proper name of this constellation?

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Q. 10:  What did the British government do on the roads in order to reduce accidents in 1925?

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Q. 11:  What is a ‘Flemish giant’ ?

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Q. 12:  The Balearic Islands are an archipelago of Spain in the western Mediterranean Sea, near the eastern coast of the Iberian Peninsula. You get a point if you can name any of the four largest islands that make up this group. (If you can correctly name more than one, give yourself a bonus point for each.)

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Q. 13:  If you were ‘purling’, what activity would you be doing?

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Q. 14:  Which famous battle was fought on June 18 1815?

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Q. 15:  In which country was the world’s first female Prime Minister elected in 1960?

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Q. 16:  What is the name of Long John Silver’s parrot?

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Q. 17:  This is the name of a famous bicycle manufacturing company, the capital city of a state in the US, and of a writer, poet, soldier, politician, courtier, spy, and explorer in Elizabethan England, what is it?

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Q. 18:  Who created the famous sculptures ‘The Thinker’ and ‘The Kiss’ ?

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Q. 19:  A lot of us now use it, but what does the acronym ‘VOIP’ stand for?

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Q. 20:  Which group’s best-known recording is the 1967 single ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’ ?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What city is known as ‘The Big Easy’ ?

A.  1:  New Orleans is known as ‘The Big Easy’.

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Q.  2:  What color are the flowers of the harebell?

            a)  red            b) green            c) blue            d) yellow

A.  2:  The correct answer is c) blue.

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the process in which a solid turns directly into a gas, without passing through the liquid phase?

A.  3:  The process is called ‘sublimation’.

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Q.  4:  What is the largest wild member of the dog family?

A.  4:  The wolf.

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Q.  5:  Which element has the symbol ‘Au’ ?

A.  5:  Gold.

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Q.  6:  What is the electrical unit of resistance?

A.  6:  The ‘ohm’.

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Q.  7:  Who invented the jet engine in 1930?

A.  7:  Frank Whittle.

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Q.  8:  How many sheets of paper are there in a ‘ream’ ?

A.  8:  500.

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Q.  9:  It is called the ‘Hunter’ and consists of 3 stars, what is the proper name of this constellation?

A.  9:  It is ‘Orion’s belt’.

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Q. 10:  What did the British government do on the roads in order to reduce accidents in 1925?

A. 10:  They painted white lines.

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Q. 11:  What is a ‘Flemish giant’ ?

A. 11:  I’m tempted to give you a point if you said “A big Belgian’ but I won’t. You get the point if you said a Flemish giant was a Rabbit.

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Q. 12:  The Balearic Islands are an archipelago of Spain in the western Mediterranean Sea, near the eastern coast of the Iberian Peninsula. You get a point if you can name any of the four largest islands that make up this group. (If you can correctly name more than one, give yourself a bonus point for each.)

A. 12:  The four largest Balearic islands are Majorca, Minorca, Ibiza and Formentera.

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Q. 13:  If you were ‘purling’, what activity would you be doing?

A. 13:  You’d be knitting.

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Q. 14:  Which famous battle was fought on June 18 1815?

A. 14:  The Battle of Waterloo.

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Q. 15:  In which country was the world’s first female Prime Minister elected in 1960?

A. 15:  Sri Lanka (or Ceylon as it was then – the woman in question being Mrs Sirimavo Bandaranaike)

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Q. 16:  What is the name of Long John Silver’s parrot?

A. 16:  Captain Flint.

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Q. 17:  This is the name of a famous bicycle manufacturing company, the capital city of a state in the US, and of a writer, poet, soldier, politician, courtier, spy, and explorer in Elizabethan England, what is it?

A. 17:  It is ‘Raleigh’. Raleigh is a famous bicycle manufacturing company, Raleigh is the capital city of North Carolina, and the famous Elizabethan was Sir Walter Raleigh.

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Q. 18:  Who created the famous sculptures ‘The Thinker’ and ‘The Kiss’ ?

A. 18:  Auguste Rodin.

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Q. 19:  A lot of us now use it, but what does the acronym ‘VOIP’ stand for?

A. 19:  Voice Over Internet Protocol.

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Q. 20:  Which group’s best-known recording is the 1967 single ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’ ?

A. 20:  Procol Harum. (Here it is….)

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Maths Puns Are The First Sine Of Madness.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I wonder what the second sine is?

But let’s not go off at a tangent.

Let’s just enjoy another Pun Day instead.

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The first rule of Innuendo Club is

you can only enter via the back door.

 please use back door

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I’ve been sitting here all day trying to

think of anagrams of the word ‘wired’

but I can only think of one.

Which is weird.

 

weird

 

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This morning my physiotherapist

tapped my knee with a plastic hammer

and made my leg jerk.

The nerve.

 knee tapped with a plastic hammer

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Are people who believe in

ghosts very ghoulable?

 ghost

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No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery.

 push the envelope

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My friend was arrested for drunk driving

on a motorized shopping cart at WalMart.

Apparently he led the police on a chase

that reached 90 aisles per hour.

 motorized shopping cart

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“All you ever talk about is golf!”

My wife shouted.

“Golf, golf and more bloody golf!”

“Calm down love,” I said.

“Don’t let this driver wedge between us.”

 golf

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I went to buy pork chops and told

the butcher to make them lean.

He said, ‘Which way?’

 pork chops cartoon

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Many scientists agree the only way to solve

the planet’s worsening energy crisis

is for the whole world to convert to solar power.

That’s not going to happen overnight.

 solar power

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I was the first person to install trampolines

in musician’s tour buses and now

everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.

 trampoline

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I said to my blind date, “I actually take

a plane to work and back every single day.”

“Wow, you must be wealthy.” She said.

“Everything but,” I replied,

“I’m just a carpenter.”

 carpenter's plane

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I bumped into the guy

who invented the globe.

It’s a small world.

 globe

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Why did the poet kill himself

by walking into the road?

Because he thought there

was nothing left to right.

 walking into the road

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I never thought I’d buy into Feng Shui.

But oh how the tables have turned.

 feng-shui-color-chart

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I was in a music group

called ‘Illegal imports’.

We were a contraband.

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Quiz Monday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another Quiz Monday on the fasab blog.

One or two unusual questions today as well as the randomness of other weeks, so be on your toes.

As always if you do get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay dow below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck. 

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  How many cellos are involved in a typical string quartet?

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Q.  2:  Since the late 1970s ‘Superman’ has been portrayed in movies and on TV by five different actors, can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  3:  This one is the name of a robot and a mobile device operating system, what is it?

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Q.  4:  Why would it be right to say that Hollande is now in charge of France?

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Q.  5:  In the epic poem ‘Rime of the Ancient Mariner’ by the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, what was shot with a crossbow?

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Q.  6:  For what is Wynkyn de Worde (who died about 1534) famous?

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Q.  7:  How many independent ‘Baltic states’ are there? (A point for the correct number and bonus points for each one you can name).

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Q.  8:  Who had three UK Top Ten hits duetting with Ronald Reagan’s first wife, Princess Grace of Monaco and David Bowie?

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Q.  9:  In which city was Joan of Arc burnt to death for being a witch?

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Q. 10:  Who was the ‘Omega Man’ in the movie of the same name?

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Q. 11:  What is the United States of America’s highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty?

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Q. 12:  And for which war was the United States of America’s highest military honor created?

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Q. 13:  Which leader’s statue was pulled down in Red Square in 1991?

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Q. 14:  What word links Britain’s King Arthur and America’s Kennedy clan?

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Q. 15:  In which country was the liberator Simon Bolivar born and which country is named after him?

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Q. 16:  What animal is on the cover of The Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds album?

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Q. 17:  What is the well known word for ‘sailor of the stars’?

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Q. 18:  Which solo performer and high flyer was selected as the first Time magazine Man of the Year in 1927?

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Q. 19:  The answer is the number that links Charlton Heston and Bo Derek.

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Q. 20:  With which instrument would you associate the jazz musicians Theolonius Monk and Art Tatum?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  How many cellos are involved in a typical string quartet?

A.  1:  One.

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Q.  2:  Since the late 1970s ‘Superman’ has been portrayed in movies and on TV by five different actors, can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  2:  (a) Christopher Reeve (1978–1987) in ‘Superman: The Movie’, ‘Superman II’, ‘Superman III’, and ‘Superman IV: The Quest For Peace’.

(b) Dean Cain (1993–1997) in the television series ‘Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman’.

(c) Tom Welling (2001–2011) in the television series ‘Smallville’.

(d) Brandon Routh (2006) in the movie ‘Superman Returns’.

And (e) Henry Cavill (2013) in the movie ‘Man of Steel’.

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Q.  3:  This one is the name of a robot and a mobile device operating system, what is it?

A.  3:  Android.

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Q.  4:  Why would it be right to say that Hollande is now in charge of France?

A.  4:  Because Francois Hollande was elected President on France in 2012.

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Q.  5:  In the epic poem ‘Rime of the Ancient Mariner’ by the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, what was shot with a crossbow?

A.  5:  An Albatross.

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Q.  6:  For what is Wynkyn de Worde (who died about 1534) famous?

A.  6:  The clue was in his name, Wynkyn de Worde (originally Jan van Wynkyn) (pronounced: “Winkin dee Werd”) was a printer and publisher in London known for his work with William Caxton, and is recognized as the first to popularize the products of the printing press in England.

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Q.  7:  How many independent ‘Baltic states’ are there? (A point for the correct number and bonus points for each one you can name).

A.  7:  There are three Baltic States, Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania.

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Q.  8:  Who had three UK Top Ten hits duetting with Ronald Reagan’s first wife, Princess Grace of Monaco and David Bowie?

A.  8:  Bing Crosby.

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Q.  9:  In which city was Joan of Arc burnt to death for being a witch?

A.  9:  Rouen.

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Q. 10:  Who was the ‘Omega Man’ in the movie of the same name?

A. 10:  Charlton Heston.

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Q. 11:  What is the United States of America’s highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty?

A. 11:  The Medal of Honor.

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Q. 12:  And for which war was the United States of America’s highest military honor created?

A. 12:  The Medal of Honor was created in 1861, early in the American Civil War, to give recognition to men who distinguished themselves “conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity” in combat with an enemy of the United States.

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Q. 13:  Which leader’s statue was pulled down in Red Square in 1991?

A. 13:  Lenin’s.

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Q. 14:  What word links Britain’s King Arthur and America’s Kennedy clan?

A. 14:  Camelot.

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Q. 15:  In which country was the liberator Simon Bolivar born and which country is named after him?

A. 15:  He was born in Venezuela and the country of Bolivia is named after him.

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Q. 16:  What animal is on the cover of The Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds album?

A. 16:  Goats.

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Q. 17:  What is the well known word for ‘sailor of the stars’?

A. 17:  Astronaut is ‘sailor of the stars’.

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Q. 18:  Which solo performer and high flyer was selected as the first Time magazine Man of the Year in 1927?

A. 18:  Charles Lindbergh.

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Q. 19:  The answer is the number that links Charlton Heston and Bo Derek.

A. 19:  The number is ‘10’, Charlton Heston starring in the movie ‘The Ten Commandments’ and Bo Derek in the movie ‘10’.  

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Q. 20:  With which instrument would you associate the jazz musicians Theolonius Monk and Art Tatum?

A. 20:  The piano.

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Are You Up For A Challenge? – It’s The Monday Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Quite a mixture of questions today.

Some are easy, some are difficult, and some should be easy but I have a feeling they may turn out to be quite difficult too!

As usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 6

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Q.  1:  You’ve seen it hundreds if not thousands of times, so how many milk bottles are standing on the porch when Fred Flintstone puts out the cat?

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Q.  2:  Who was assassinated in Dallas on 24 November 1963?

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Q.  3:  Who was known as ‘The Serpent of the Nile’?

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Q.  4:  How many amendments have their been to the US Constitution?

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Q.  5:  For which event of 1872 is the name of Captain Briggs remembered?

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Q.  6:  What was abolished by France in 1981, The Netherlands in 1982, Australia in 1985 and New Zealand in 1989?

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Q.  7:  How many colored squares are on a Rubik cube?

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Q.  8:  A famous Irish novelist and poet, he was born in 1882 and died in 1941, who was he?

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Q.  9:  Who directed the movie ‘Jurassic Park’?

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Q. 10:  What famous IT company launched a clothing line in 1986?

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Q. 11:  Which great Carthegian general crossed the Alps in 218?

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Q. 12:  For how many years did the famous ‘Pony Express’ operate in America?

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Q. 13:  On what date in 1883 did France officially present the Statue of Liberty to the US?

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Q. 14:  Cary Grant and Alfred Hitchcock had one of the most celebrated and successful collaborations of any actor/director pair in history. Name as many of their movies as you can (and you get a point for each correct answer).

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Q. 15:  Who had 7 members of a rival gang killed on St Valentines day 1929?

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Q. 16:  Who or what is the Presidential retreat ‘Camp David’ named after?

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Q. 17:  Who said “Read my lips, no new taxes”?

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Q. 18:  What was the name of the domestic videocassette tape recorder system introduced by Sony in 1975?

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Q. 19:  Which famous Arab / Israeli war took place in 1973?

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Q. 20:  In the long running hit television series ‘Magnum P.I.’, what was the character name of the ex-British Army Officer who looked after the estate in which Magnum lives?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  You’ve seen it hundreds if not thousands of times, so how many milk bottles are standing on the porch when Fred Flintstone puts out the cat?

A.  1:  One. (You should have known that!)

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Q.  2:  Who was assassinated in Dallas on 24 November 1963?

A.  2:  Lee Harvey Oswald.

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Q.  3:  Who was known as ‘The Serpent of the Nile’?

A.  3:  Cleopatra.

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Q.  4:  How many amendments have their been to the US Constitution?

A.  4:  27.

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Q.  5:  For which event of 1872 is the name of Captain Briggs remembered?

A.  5:  He Was The Captain Of The Marie Celeste.

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Q.  6:  What was abolished by France in 1981, The Netherlands in 1982, Australia in 1985 and New Zealand in 1989?

A.  6:  The Death Penalty.

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Q.  7:  How many colored squares are on a Rubik cube?

A.  7:  54 (A cube has 6 sides and there are 9 colored squares per side.)

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Q.  8:  A famous Irish novelist and poet, he was born in 1882 and died in 1941, who was he?

A.  8:  James Joyce.

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Q.  9:  Who directed the movie ‘Jurassic Park’?

A.  9:  Steven Spielberg.

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Q. 10:  What famous IT company launched a clothing line in 1986?

A. 10:  Apple.

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Q. 11:  Which great Carthegian general crossed the Alps in 218?

A. 11:  Hannibal.

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Q. 12:  For how many years did the famous ‘Pony Express’ operate in America?

A. 12:  The ‘Pony Express’ only lasted a single year before the transcontinental telegraph made the route obsolete.

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Q. 13:  On what date in 1883 did France officially present the Statue of Liberty to the US?

A. 13:  4th July.

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Q. 14:  Cary Grant and Alfred Hitchcock had one of the most celebrated and successful collaborations of any actor/director pair in history. Name as many of their movies as you can (and you get a point for each correct answer).

A. 14:  Cary Grant appeared in 4 Hitchcock movies, ‘Suspicion’ in 1941; ‘Notorious’ in 1946; ‘To Catch A Thief’ in 1955; and ‘North By North-West’ in 1959.

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Q. 15:  Who had 7 members of a rival gang killed on St Valentines day 1929?

A. 15:  Al Capone.

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Q. 16:  Who or what is the Presidential retreat ‘Camp David’ named after?

A. 16:  Presidential retreat Camp David is named after Dwight Eisenhower’s grandson.

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Q. 17:  Who said “Read my lips, no new taxes”?

A. 17:  George Bush.

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Q. 18:  What was the name of the domestic videocassette tape recorder system introduced by Sony in 1975?

A. 18:  Betamax.

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Q. 19:  Which famous Arab / Israeli war took place in 1973?

A. 19:  The Yom Kippur war.

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Q. 20:  In the long running hit television series ‘Magnum P.I.’, what was the character name of the ex-British Army Officer who looked after the estate in which Magnum lived?

A. 20:  Jonathan Quayle Higgins III, but ‘Higgins’ will get you a point.

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Good Luck, It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another Monday, another quiz to start the week.

As usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below  –  but NO cheating!

Enjoy, and good luck!

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Quiz 6

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Q.  1:  Who sang ‘Coward of the County’ in 1980?

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Q.  2:  Of which Native American tribe was Sitting Bull a member?

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Q.  3:  Which temple stands on the Acropolis in Athens?

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Q.  4:  Who was the first man to win the Academy Award for best actor two years in a row?

    a) Clark Gable

    b) James Stewart

    c) Charles Laughton

    d) Spencer Tracy

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Q.  5:  What nickname was given to Baron von Richthofen’s fighter squadron in World War I?

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Q.  6:  Of which country has President Kenneth Kaudu been the leader?

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Q.  7:  In which fictional American town or city was the TV series Northern Exposure set?

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Q.  8:  What nationality is tennis player Boris Becker?

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Q.  9:  Which religion was founded by Prince Guatama Siddhartha in the 6th century BC?

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Q. 10:  What was the nationality of Zorba in the movie and who played him?

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Q. 11:  What is the name of Ozzy Osbourne’s wife?

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Q. 12:  Where were Geoffrey Chaucer’s pilgrims going as they told their tales?

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Q. 13:  In Rastafari, who is known as ‘The Lion of Judah’?

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Q. 14:  What term is given to the point in spring when the sun’s path crosses the celestial equator, so that day and night are of approximately equal length?

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Q. 15:  The composer Ludwig van Beethoven and the poet William Wordsworth were both born in the same year. Which year was it?

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Q. 16:  On the 7th of January 1785, George Washington became the first man in North America to send which kind of letter?

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Q. 17:  Who was the young star of ‘National Velvet’ in 1945?

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Q. 18:  Although its name is a synonym for ‘no apprehension’, which massive revolutionary invention, first introduced in 1906, instilled fear all over the world?

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Q. 19:  Who was the first person to appear on the cover of the Rolling Stone?  

    a) Dr Hook

    b) Elvis

    c) John Lennon

    d) Mick Jagger

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Q. 20:  This ‘Soul Man’ took a ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ and then had a ‘Perfect Day’. Who was he?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Who sang ‘Coward of the County’ in 1980?

A.  1:  Kenny Rogers

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Q.  2:  Of which American tribe was Sitting Bull a member?

A.  2:  Lakota Sioux.

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Q.  3:  Which temple stands on the Acropolis in Athens?

A.  3:  The Parthenon.

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Q.  4:  Who was the first man to win the Academy Award for best actor two years in a row?

    a) Clark Gable

    b) James Stewart

    c) Charles Laughton

    d) Spencer Tracy

A.  4:  d) Spencer Tracy (1937 for Captains Courageous and 1938 for Boys Town)

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Q.  5:  What nickname was given to Baron von Richthofen’s fighter squadron in World War I?

A.  5: ‘Flying Circus’ or ‘Richthofen’s Circus’.

.

.

Q.  6:  Of which country has President Kaudu been the leader?

A.  6:  Zambia.

.

.

Q.  7:  In which fictional American town or city was the TV series Northern Exposure set?

A.  7:  Cicely, Alaska.

.

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Q.  8:  What nationality is tennis player Boris Becker?

A.  8:  German.

.

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Q.  9:  Which religion was founded by Prince Guatama Siddhartha in the 6th century BC?

A.  9:  Buddhism.

.

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Q. 10:  What was the nationality of Zorba in the movie and who played him?

A. 10:  Greek, and he was played by Anthony Quinn.

.

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Q. 11:  What is the name of Ozzy Osbourne’s wife?

A. 11:  Sharon.

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Q. 12:  Where were Geoffrey Chaucer’s pilgrims going as they told their tales?

A. 12:  Canterbury.

.

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Q. 13:  In Rastafari, who is known as ‘The Lion of Judah’?

A. 13:  Haile Selassie (the First).

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Q. 14:  What term is given to the point in spring when the sun’s path crosses the celestial equator, so that day and night are of approximately equal length?

A. 14:  The vernal equinox.

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Q. 15:  The composer Ludwig van Beethoven and the poet William Wordsworth were both born in the same year. Which year was it?

A. 15:  1770.

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Q. 16:  On the 7th of January 1785, George Washington became the first man in North America to send which kind of letter?

A. 16:  An ‘Air Mail’.  Using a balloon. The letter was addressed to no one but was to be given to the owner of the property on which the balloon landed.

.

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Q. 17:  Who was the young star of ‘National Velvet’ in 1945?

A. 17:  Elizabeth Taylor.

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Q. 18:  Although its name is a synonym for ‘no apprehension’, which massive revolutionary invention, first introduced in 1906, instilled fear all over the world?

A. 18:  The Dreadnought battleship.

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Q. 19:  Who was the first person to appear on the cover of the Rolling Stone?  

    a) Dr Hook

    b) Elvis

    c) John Lennon

    d) Mick Jagger

A. 19:  c) John Lennon.

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Q. 20:  This ‘Soul Man’ took a ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ and then had a ‘Perfect Day’. Who was he?

A. 20:  Lou Reed, those are the names of his songs that made it in the charts.


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E-mail Is Post, Modern.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

E-mail is post, modern – get it?

Yes, it’s pun day again.

Enjoy!

.

rofl

.

The poet had written better poems,

but he’d also written verse.

poetry_butcher_colour_new

.

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Those who get too big for their britches

will be exposed in the end.

ripped pants

.

.

“This must be an aerobics class!”

the blonde worked out at the gym.

step aerobics

.

.

When the doctor told him he was missing 

a left ventricle and a left aorta 

the patient laughed half-heartedly.

half_hearted

.

.

I’ve got some good advice for the camera shy.

Use coconuts instead.

cartoon-coconut-joke

.

.

I like European food so I decided to Russia over there

because I was Hungary. After Czech’ing the menu

I ordered Turkey. When I was Finnished

I told the waiter, Spain good,

but there is Norway I could eat another bite

europe_map_political

.

.

Those who study the moon are optimists

– they look at the bright side.

moon bright dark sides

.

.

To learn rope tricks you have to be taut.

rope trick

.

.

You know, vultures can make really good comedy actors.

I really loved them in those old “Carrion” movies.

vulture

.

.

When a skunk walked in, the judge said,

‘odor in the court’.

Skunk

.

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a light-bulb?

Dyslexic-CPR

.

.

I had an accident in chemistry class yesterday

when I spilled some sodium chloride

and sulphuric acid over myself.

It was terrible.

I didn’t know how to react.

chemistry class

.

.

I’ve just gone into the bedroom

and someone’s stolen my bed.

Honestly.

I’m not lying.

empty-master-bedroom

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.

My friends tell me that I’m terrible at telling jokes.

I always punch up the mess line.

spitzer_punchline

.

.

The phone rings, and the wife answers it.

A pervert, with heavy breathing, says,

“I bet you have a tight ass with no hair.”

Woman replies, “Yes, he’s watching TV – who shall I say is calling?”

woman-in-curlers-and-her-robe-answering-a-phone-call-by-ron-leishman-16781

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==================================

.

Did You Know – More Facts For Fun.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Welcome to another selection of fasab’s facts for fun.

A more than random list of unusual facts that may come in handy some day. I wouldn’t count on it, but you never know. It has happened believe it or not!

So read on and enjoy.

.

did you know4

.

The only U.S. president to have been the head of a union

was Ronald Reagan,

a former president of the Screen Actors Guild.

Ronald Reagan at his desk

.

.

Just proving that not everybody is all bad,

“Pretty Boy” Floyd, one of America’s most notorious bank robbers,

was known for destroying mortgage papers,

consequently freeing hundreds of people from property debt.

gangster-pretty-boy-floyd-tote-bag

.

.

A man in China has kept himself alive with

a homemade dialysis machine for 13 years.

Home made dialysis machine

.

.

Divorce is legal in every nation in the world

except in the Philippines and in Vatican City.

divorce_pic1

.

.

In 1755 Benjamin Franklin organized the first

regular monthly mail packet service

between Falmouth, England, and New York,

and opened the first official post office in Canada

(in Halifax, Nova Scotia), to link Halifax with

the Atlantic colonies and the packet service to England.

Benjamin Franklin

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.

About half the geysers on Earth

are located in Yellowstone National Park.

Old_Faithful_13

.

.

Your brain makes imaginary monsters when you stare in a mirror.

(Either that or you don’t look as good as you thought!)

cat and mirror

.

.

While most of it lies in Africa,

a small part of Egypt is located in Asia, as well.

Egypt_map

.

.

The White House has a variety of recreational facilities

available to its residents, including a tennis court, a jogging track,

swimming pool, movie theater, billiard room, and a bowling lane.

white-house

Click here to take an interactive tour

.

.

The Australian $5 to $100 notes are made of plastic.

aussie-money

.

.

A skunk’s smell can be detected by a human a mile away.

Skunk-in-Grass

.

.

The poet Henry Wadsworth Longfellow’s wife died

when a dropped match ignited her enormous hoop skirt.

fanny-wadsworth

.

.

Alabama was the first state to

recognize Christmas as an official holiday.

Alabama Christmas

.

.

If your eyes are six feet above the surface of the ocean,

the horizon will be about three statute miles away.

hopes_on_the_horizon

.

.

The longest freshwater shoreline in the world

is located in the state of Michigan.

Michigan shoreline

.

.

Carbon monoxide is deadly.

It can kill a person in less than 15 minutes

carbon-monoxide-gas-safety

.

.

In 1876, the first microphone was invented by Emile Berliner.

emile_berliner

.

.

When Nadia Comaneci became the first gymnast

to score a perfect 10, the scoreboard wasn’t prepared.

Her score was reported as “1.00.”

Comaneci-1976

.

.

The accent that Mike Myers used for the character Shrek

came from the accent that his mother would use

when she was telling him bedtime stories when he was a child.

Shrek_fierce

.

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Johnny Cash’s “A Boy Named Sue” was written by Shel Silverstein.

.

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Punitive, Punishing, Or Just Punny? – Here Are Some More Puns

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

Another excuse for more bad jokes using the cover of some clever word plays called puns.

Enjoy – if you can.

 

 

You didn’t hear about the three big holes in the ground?

Well, well, well.

 

 

Even a backward poet writes inverse.

 

 

It was raining cats and dogs.

There were poodles all over the road.

 

 

When chemists die, we barium.

 

 

Did you hear about the guy whose whole left side was cut off?

He’s all right now.

 

 

I couldn’t quite remember how to throw a boomerang,

but eventually it came back to me.

 

 

I used to have a fear of hurdles,

but I got over it.

 

 

It’s not that the man did not know how to juggle,

he just didn’t have the balls to do it.

 

 

He drove his expensive car into a tree and found out how the Mercedes bends.

 

 

Some people’s noses and feet are built backwards:

their feet smell and their noses run.

 

 

Then there was the cross-eyed teacher who couldn’t control his pupils.

 

 

When a clock is hungry does it go back four seconds?

 

 

Have you heard about that online origami store?

It folded.

 

 

A prisoner’s favorite punctuation mark is the period.

It marks the end of his sentence.

 

 

Pencils could be made with erasers at both ends,

but what would be the point?

 

 

Atheists can’t solve exponential equations because they don’t believe in higher powers.

 

 

It is tough to do inventories in Afghanistan because of the tally ban.

 

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Punchy Punitive Punditry Today? – No, Just More Puny Pungent Puns!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 .

Yes it’s another selection of those groan-making jokes carefully wrapped up in the thing we call puns.

Enjoy, if you can.

 

 

When fish are in schools they sometimes take debate.

 

What did the grape say when it got stepped on?

Nothing – but it let out a little whine.

 

A criminal’s best asset is his lie ability.

 

Be true to your teeth, or they will be false to you.

 

If you give some managers an inch they think they’re a ruler.

 

Gravity is studied a lot because it’s a very attractive field.

 

Old lawyers never die they just lose their appeal.

 

Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.

 

When women enter middle age, it gives men a pause.

 

Prison walls are never built to scale.

 

There was a guy who was fired from the orange juice factory for lack of concentration.

 

We were so poor when I was growing up we couldn’t even afford to pay attention.

 

I used to be a tap dancer until I fell in the sink.

 

When the smog lifts in Los Angeles, U C L A.

 

The poet had written better poems, but he’d also written verse.

 

There was a ghost at the hotel, so they called for an inn spectre.

 

Ancient orators tended to Babylon.

 

What do you call a melon that’s not allowed to get married?

Can’t elope.

 

For plumbers, a flush beats a full house.

 

Did you hear about the guy who sent ten puns to friends, in the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh.

Unfortunately, no pun in ten did.

 

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Puns For The Educated Mind

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

According to the dictionary, a pun is the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.

I like puns. Sometimes they can be quite clever and humorous. At other times they can lead to an excruciatingly bad joke, although the worse they are the funnier they seem to be. Strange thing humor. 

I have a load of examples in the archives. Here are some to give you a taste of what may be in store.

Enjoy, (I hope)…

 

 

The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.

He acquired his size from too much pi.

 

 

I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,

but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.

 

 

She was only a whiskey maker,

but he loved her still.

 

 

No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery.

 

 

Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in

Linoleum Blownapart?

 

 

Two silk worms had a race.

They ended up in a tie.

 

 

A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.

The police are looking into it.

 

 

Time flies like an arrow.

Fruit flies like a banana.

 

 

Apparently Mitt Romney donated the entirety of his inheritance from his father to the Brigham Young University. Is this guy a Moron?

 

Mitt Romney and Charles Montgomery Burns
Mitt Romney and Charles Montgomery Burns

 

Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.

One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”

 

 

I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.

Then it hit me.

 

 

A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:

“Keep off the Grass.”

 

 

The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison

was a small medium at large.

 

 

The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray

is now a seasoned veteran.

 

 

A backward poet writes inverse.

 

 

In a democracy it’s your vote that counts…

In feudalism it’s your count that votes.

 

 

When cannibals ate a missionary,

did they get a taste of religion?

 

 

If you jumped off the bridge in Paris ,

you’d be in Seine.

 

 

A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.

The stewardess looks at him and says,

“I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”

 

 

Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?

His goal: transcend dental medication.

 

 

Two hydrogen atoms meet.

One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”

The other says, “Are you sure?” 

The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”

 

atoms

 

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