A very happy Thanksgiving to all in America who read this.
I hope everyone everywhere, not just in America, is getting into the spirit of the day and giving thanks for the many good things in their lives.
But Thanksgiving or not, it’s still pun day. A little different today in that there is a mixture of pictorial puns with a distinct nautical theme and, of course, puns with a Thanksgiving theme too.
Enjoy!
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What does a turkey like to eat on Thanksgiving?
Nothing; they are already stuffed.
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Why did the turkey cross the road?
To show that he wasn’t chicken.
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Why is a turkey similar to a ghost?
Because it’s a-gobblin.
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Why did the Pilgrim kill the turkey?
Because he was in a fowl mood.
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Or, as the turkey said to the Pilgrim,
“You’re a no-good baster.”
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Why are turkeys so good at arithmetic?
Because they count the number of chopping days until Thanksgiving.
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Why did the turkey bolt down his food?
Because she was a gobbler.
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Did you hear about the conservative turkey?
It has two right wings.
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As the leftover turkey said after it was wrapped up and refrigerated,
“Foiled again.”
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If April showers bring May flowers what do May flowers bring?
Pilgrims!
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What sound does a space turkey make?
Hubble, hubble, hubble.
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Which side of the turkey has the most feathers?
The outside!
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What can you never eat for Thanksgiving dinner?
Breakfast or lunch!
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Thanksgiving:
when turkeys turn from gobblers to gobblees.
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Did you hear about the waiter
who dropped a Thanksgiving dinner on the floor
and feared he had created an international incident?
No surprises there, but maybe one or two in the questions.
Let’s see how you do this week.
If you get stuck the answers are, as usual, waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but please NO cheating!
Enjoy, and good luck!
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Q. 1: What handicap did the composer Beethoven have?
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Q. 2: According to legend, who rewarded a man for his loyalty by giving him the secret recipe for Drambuie?
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Q. 3: Which two semaphoric letters are found on the famous anti war peace symbol from the 1960’s ?
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Q. 4: In which movie would you find a robot called ‘Gort’?
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Q. 5: What name did the Vikings give to Newfoundland?
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Q. 6: What do all of the following have (or don’t have) in common?
Galileo, Jesse James, Jerry Garcia, Dustin Hoffman, James Doohan, Frodo Baggins, Tony Iommi, Telly Savalas, Boris Yelzin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Daryl Hannah and Gary Burghoff (‘Radar’ O’Reilly from M*A*S*H)
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Q. 7: In literature, King Richard III was desperate and willing to pay a high price for what?
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Q. 8: Which fruit is a port city in the Democratic Republic of the Congo?
a) Orange
b) Banana
c) Ugli
d) Guava
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Q. 9: In China in 1989 in which Beijing Square were the protests against the government crushed by tanks?
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Q. 10: What is the name of the race of giants mentioned in the Bible who lived in Canaan?
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Q. 11: “I coulda had class, I coulda been somebody, I coulda been a contender”. What famous actor said the words and in which famous movie?
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Q. 12: Who was the first WBC heavyweight boxing champion in 1978?
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Q. 13: What is the name of the current German Chancellor?
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Q. 14: Put the following in the correct order starting with the fastest and ending with the slowest:
Human, Nimitz class aircraft carrier, Grizzly bear, A common pig, Cheetah, Japanese ‘bullet’ train, Ostrich, Peregrin falcon.
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Q. 15: Which new country was formed in 1971 at the end of the Pakistan / India conflict?
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Q. 16: Who played ‘Lucy Ewing’ in the hit TV Series ‘Dallas’ and what was her rather unkind nickname?
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Q. 17: What was the name of the French underground movement that fought against the Germans in World War II?
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Q. 18: Name the capital and the largest city in New Zealand (a point for each).
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Q. 19: In the ‘Bond’ movies what were the codenames for James Bond’s boss and the person responsible for the gadgets he used?
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Q. 20: What ‘o’clock’ is mentioned in the Bangles hit song ‘Manic Monday’?
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: What handicap did the composer Beethoven have?
A. 1: He was hearing impaired.
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Q. 2: According to legend, who rewarded a man for his loyalty by giving him the secret recipe for Drambuie?
A. 2: Bonnie Prince Charlie.
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Q. 3: Which two semaphoric letters are found on the famous anti war peace symbol from the 1960’s ?
A. 3: N and D for Nuclear Disarmament.
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Q. 4: In which movie would you find a robot called ‘Gort’?
A. 4: The Day The Earth Stood Still.
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Q. 5: What name did the Vikings give to Newfoundland?
A. 5: Vinland.
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Q. 6: What do all of the following have (or don’t have) in common?
Galileo, Jesse James, Jerry Garcia, Dustin Hoffman, James Doohan, Frodo Baggins, Tony Iommi, Telly Savalas, Boris Yelzin, Buster Keaton, Harold Lloyd, Daryl Hannah and Gary Burghoff (‘Radar’ O’Reilly from M*A*S*H)
A. 6: They are/were all missing a finger or fingers.
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Q. 7: In literature, King Richard III was desperate and willing to pay a high price for what?
A. 7: “A horse, a horse! My kingdom for a horse.”
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Q. 8: Which fruit is a port city in the Democratic Republic of the Congo?
a) Orange
b) Banana
c) Ugli
d) Guava
A. 8: b) Banana
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Q. 9: In China in 1989 in which Beijing Square were the protests against the government crushed by tanks?
A. 9: Tiananmen Square.
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Q. 10: What is the name of the race of giants mentioned in the Bible who lived in Canaan?
A. 10: Nephilim.
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Q. 11: “I coulda had class, I coulda been somebody, I coulda been a contender”. What famous actor said the words and in which famous movie?
A. 11: Marlon Brando in ‘On the Waterfront’.
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Q. 12: Who was the first WBC heavyweight boxing champion in 1978?
A. 12: Ken Norton.
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Q. 13: What is the name of the current German Chancellor?
A. 13: Angela Merkel.
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Q. 14: Put the following in the correct order starting with the fastest and ending with the slowest:
Human, Nimitz class aircraft carrier, Grizzly bear, A common pig, Cheetah, Japanese ‘bullet’ train, Ostrich, Peregrin falcon.
A. 14: The correct order, fastest to slowest, is:
1) Japanese ‘bullet’ train (361 mph); 2) Peregrin falcon (200 mph); 3) Cheetah (70 mph); 4) Ostrich (40 mph); 5) Nimitz class aircraft carrier (34.5 plus mph); 6) grizzly bear (30 mph); 7. Human (28 mph); 8. Common pig (11 mph)
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Q. 15: Which new country was formed in 1971 at the end of the Pakistan / India conflict?
A. 15: Bangladesh.
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Q. 16: Who played ‘Lucy Ewing’ in the hit TV Series ‘Dallas’ and what was her rather unkind nickname?
A. 16: ‘Lucy Ewing’ was played by Charlene Tilton and her nickname because of her lack of height was the ‘Poison Dwarf’
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Q. 17: What was the name of the French underground movement that fought against the Germans in World War II?
A. 17: The Maquis (If you are nice you can also claim a point for ‘French Resistance’)
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Q. 18: Name the capital and the largest city in New Zealand (a point for each).
A. 18: Wellington is the capital; Auckland is the largest city.
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Q. 19: In the ‘Bond’ movies what were the codenames for James Bond’s boss and the person responsible for the gadgets he used?
A. 19: They were known as ‘M’ and ‘Q’.
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Q. 20: What ‘o’clock’ is mentioned in the Bangles hit song ‘Manic Monday’?
As usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating!
Enjoy, and good luck!
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Q. 1: Who sang ‘Coward of the County’ in 1980?
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Q. 2: Of which Native American tribe was Sitting Bull a member?
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Q. 3: Which temple stands on the Acropolis in Athens?
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Q. 4: Who was the first man to win the Academy Award for best actor two years in a row?
a) Clark Gable
b) James Stewart
c) Charles Laughton
d) Spencer Tracy
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Q. 5: What nickname was given to Baron von Richthofen’s fighter squadron in World War I?
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Q. 6: Of which country has President Kenneth Kaudu been the leader?
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Q. 7: In which fictional American town or city was the TV series Northern Exposure set?
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Q. 8: What nationality is tennis player Boris Becker?
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Q. 9: Which religion was founded by Prince Guatama Siddhartha in the 6th century BC?
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Q. 10: What was the nationality of Zorba in the movie and who played him?
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Q. 11: What is the name of Ozzy Osbourne’s wife?
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Q. 12: Where were Geoffrey Chaucer’s pilgrims going as they told their tales?
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Q. 13: In Rastafari, who is known as ‘The Lion of Judah’?
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Q. 14: What term is given to the point in spring when the sun’s path crosses the celestial equator, so that day and night are of approximately equal length?
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Q. 15: The composer Ludwig van Beethoven and the poet William Wordsworth were both born in the same year. Which year was it?
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Q. 16: On the 7th of January 1785, George Washington became the first man in North America to send which kind of letter?
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Q. 17: Who was the young star of ‘National Velvet’ in 1945?
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Q. 18: Although its name is a synonym for ‘no apprehension’, which massive revolutionary invention, first introduced in 1906, instilled fear all over the world?
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Q. 19: Who was the first person to appear on the cover of the Rolling Stone?
a) Dr Hook
b) Elvis
c) John Lennon
d) Mick Jagger
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Q. 20: This ‘Soul Man’ took a ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ and then had a ‘Perfect Day’. Who was he?
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: Who sang ‘Coward of the County’ in 1980?
A. 1: Kenny Rogers
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Q. 2: Of which American tribe was Sitting Bull a member?
A. 2: Lakota Sioux.
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Q. 3: Which temple stands on the Acropolis in Athens?
A. 3: The Parthenon.
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Q. 4: Who was the first man to win the Academy Award for best actor two years in a row?
a) Clark Gable
b) James Stewart
c) Charles Laughton
d) Spencer Tracy
A. 4: d) Spencer Tracy (1937 for Captains Courageous and 1938 for Boys Town)
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Q. 5: What nickname was given to Baron von Richthofen’s fighter squadron in World War I?
A. 5: ‘Flying Circus’ or ‘Richthofen’s Circus’.
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Q. 6: Of which country has President Kaudu been the leader?
A. 6: Zambia.
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Q. 7: In which fictional American town or city was the TV series Northern Exposure set?
A. 7: Cicely, Alaska.
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Q. 8: What nationality is tennis player Boris Becker?
A. 8: German.
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Q. 9: Which religion was founded by Prince Guatama Siddhartha in the 6th century BC?
A. 9: Buddhism.
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Q. 10: What was the nationality of Zorba in the movie and who played him?
A. 10: Greek, and he was played by Anthony Quinn.
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Q. 11: What is the name of Ozzy Osbourne’s wife?
A. 11: Sharon.
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Q. 12: Where were Geoffrey Chaucer’s pilgrims going as they told their tales?
A. 12: Canterbury.
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Q. 13: In Rastafari, who is known as ‘The Lion of Judah’?
A. 13: Haile Selassie (the First).
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Q. 14: What term is given to the point in spring when the sun’s path crosses the celestial equator, so that day and night are of approximately equal length?
A. 14: The vernal equinox.
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Q. 15: The composer Ludwig van Beethoven and the poet William Wordsworth were both born in the same year. Which year was it?
A. 15: 1770.
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Q. 16: On the 7th of January 1785, George Washington became the first man in North America to send which kind of letter?
A. 16: An ‘Air Mail’. Using a balloon. The letter was addressed to no one but was to be given to the owner of the property on which the balloon landed.
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Q. 17: Who was the young star of ‘National Velvet’ in 1945?
A. 17: Elizabeth Taylor.
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Q. 18: Although its name is a synonym for ‘no apprehension’, which massive revolutionary invention, first introduced in 1906, instilled fear all over the world?
A. 18: The Dreadnought battleship.
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Q. 19: Who was the first person to appear on the cover of the Rolling Stone?
a) Dr Hook
b) Elvis
c) John Lennon
d) Mick Jagger
A. 19: c) John Lennon.
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Q. 20: This ‘Soul Man’ took a ‘Walk On The Wild Side’ and then had a ‘Perfect Day’. Who was he?
A. 20: Lou Reed, those are the names of his songs that made it in the charts.
So there are more difficulties plaguing the implementation of the Affordable Care Act.
Now there’s a shocker folks!
I’ve already highlighted the mess that the government has made in trying to bring it’s computer systems online to enable enrollment in the new program. (See “What Am I” post from about a month ago)
Now people who thought they were already adequately insured are finding that this may not be the case, at least not for much longer. The private insurance issue is affecting lots and lots of people all over America, particularly those who were trying to be responsible and had adequate insurance for themselves and their families.
Most of them bought their insurance on the open market. Obama promised that would still be secure after his new Affordable Care Act was implemented.
He said, “If you like your health care plan, you can keep your health care plan.”
He lied.
Obama’s new law actually outlaws all but a small percentage of “grandfathered” individual insurance policies and requires carriers to instead offer coverage that is more comprehensive.
And there’s more trouble ahead. In 2018, an Obamacare tax on high-cost insurance plans kicks in and could cause upheaval in that part of the market as well.
The truth is that the law was designed to gradually eliminate the old system altogether.
The result?
All across the country those who thought they had adequate insurance are being issued with notices from insurers explaining that their plans are ending. Ending thanks to the Affordable Care Act.
It has understandably caused confusion, fear, anxiety and a great deal of anger.
Losing health insurance can be a terrifying possibility in America. Particularly as one gets older and policies are more difficult and expensive to replace.
So is this the last of the Obamacare problems?
I think it would be a very safe bet to say no it won’t.
Affordable Health Care is a laudable goal. I’ve always said that. But the way to tackle it is to make the existing system more affordable by curbing the excessive profiteering of drug companies and medics, not burdening this and future generations of ordinary Americans with another government white elephant that the country can’t afford.
Unfortunately the government just doesn’t get it – “affordable” means you can actually afford it!
My regular readers know that I try to avoid “heavy” topics. Sure, I’ll memorialise our veterans and sing their praises. But otherwise, I try to keep things humourous and light around here. But today, I find myself having to do something quite unusual.
Most of you have heard of the Bataan (pronounced bat-a-AN, as I was pointedly instructed by a Filipino friend) Death March. What is rarely mentioned is the number of Filipinos who died side-by-side with our soldiers, whether as soldiers or as civilians trying to give food and water to our soldiers. They watched and reported on the Japanese occupiers, and aided our efforts in retaking the Philippines in 1944.
Now is our opportunity to pay them back. The devastation from Typhoon Haiyan is beyond words. While ships are headed to Tacloban, Cebu, and others, their top speeds are little more than 35mph. Most runways are short or…
You know, sometimes you just have to laugh at the stupidity and short-sightedness of politicians.
The latest idiot to hit the headlines is US House Representative Jim Sensenbrenner. You might remember him, he was the one who wrote the supposed anti-terror law now known as the Patriot Act.
Now he has asked the European Parliament for help in controlling the obviously completely out of control NSA who have decided this piece of ill thought out legislation gives them carte blanch permission to snoop into everybody’s business, friend and foe.
Apparently Congressman Sensenbrenner has belatedly seen the error of his ways and wants Europe to put pressure on the US to change its legislation to stop the spy agency’s mass communications data collecting activities.
Today Sensenbrenner says that the NSA has abused the trust placed in it by the American people. Powers that were designed to protect them, but powers that have been used to spy on them instead. And the Brits are at it too!
Big surprise Jim?
I think not!
Then there is the damage they have done to America’s standing throughout the world. The Merklegate scandal, where the German Chancellor’s cell phone was found to be bugged, is just one of many instances where America has treated its allies like enemies, creating suspicion and distrust where there used to be friendship and cooperation.
And the poor judgment continues, because Sensenbrenner’s solution to the problem he helped to create is not to get rid of this bad legislation, but instead to create even more bad legislation that purports to curtail the excesses of the former.
Won’t work Jimmy.
No point fitting a new lock on the stable door after the horse is already out and galloping roughshod over the privacy of the American people and their friends.
All very well for Jim Sensenbrenner to say sorry now, but wasn’t it inevitable that the massive ill thought out powers handed to the spooks after 9-11 would be abused?
Absolute power does corrupt – always! That is why checks and balances are necessary, only they need to be put in place in time.
fasab 