End September With Some Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Indeed, what better way to end the month of September than with another random selection of facts.

I’m sure there are at least a few things in this lot that you didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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There are more than 100,000 chemical reactions

happening in your brain every second.

chemical reactions happening in your brain

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The first machine-made chocolate was

produced in Barcelona, Spain, in 1780.

machine-made chocolate

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A blue whale´s tongue alone

can weigh as much as a single adult elephant

which gives you an indication of the size of the former.

blue-whale-tongue-n-elephant

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About 275 million new stars are born everyday.

275 million new stars are born everyday

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Ohio lawyer Clement Vallandigham

managed to shoot himself in a court room in 1871

while demonstrating to a jury how his client’s

alleged murder victim had actually shot himself.

Apparently no one checked the gun.

Clement Vallandigham

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The Chinese language (Mandarin/Cantonese)

has about 50,000 characters.

To read a newspaper you would

need to know about 2,000 of them.

Chinese language

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Gum is not sold in any Disney Park.

disneyland_map

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The word ‘Lukewarm’ is actually a redundancy.

‘Luke’ meant ‘warm’ in Middle English

so ‘lukewarm’ technically would mean ‘warm warm’.

lukewarm

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The most remote island in the world

is the uninhabited Bouvet Island

which lies somewhere between

Antarctica and Tristan de Cunha.

Bouvet Island Location

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Did you know that dolphins are so smart that,

within a few weeks of captivity,

they can train people to stand on the

very edge of the pool and throw them fish?

feeding-dolphins

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‘Linn’s Stamp News’ is the world’s largest

weekly newspaper for stamp collectors.

Linn's Stamp News

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The little lump of flesh just forward of your ear canal,

right next to your temple, is called a ‘tragus’.

tragus

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The United States has never lost a war

in which mules were used.

army mule

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Will Clark of the Texas Rangers is a direct descendant

of William Clark of Lewis and Clark.

Will Clark Rangers Photocard

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Running from 1972 through 1983, M*A*S*H*

was one of the most successful shows on television ever.

It won 8 Golden Globe awards,

14 Primetime Emmy awards,

the 1976 Peabody award

and was the People’s Choice winner

for Favorite TV Comedy five times.

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Tin Foil, Mince Pies And Kilts? It’s The Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fasab quiz.

Last one for this month. And the usual random mixture to test your general knowledge.

Also as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz7

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Q.  1:  What is kitchen tin foil made from?

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Q.  2:  With what would you ‘rock the baby’ or ‘walk the dog’?

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Q.  3:  What is the main ingredient of a mince pie?

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Q.  4:  Where was the Titanic built?

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Q.  5:  How many best director Oscars did Alfred Hitchcock win?

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Q.  6:  What is feldspar?

            a)  a flower            b)  a type of coral            c)  a mineral

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Q.  7:  What mineral is an ‘Alaskan diamond’?

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Q.  8:  Which country owns the island of Bermuda?

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Q.  9:  How many equal angles has a ‘scalene triangle’?

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Q. 10:  What is an ‘ocular contusion’ more commonly known as?

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Q. 11:  What color is the black box on a plane?

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Q. 12:  What property of a body is calculated by multiplying its mass by its velocity?

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Q. 13:  What nation invented the kilt?

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Q. 14:  Meaning before noon, what does the acronym ‘AM’ stand for?

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Q. 15:  ‘Pb’ is the chemical symbol for which element?

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Q. 16:  What was John Lennon’s middle name?

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Q. 17:  The term ‘Lupine’ relates to which animals?

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Q. 18:  What is the difference between an ‘albatross’ and an ‘albacore’?

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Q. 19:  Which part of a man’s body enlarges by up to 8 times when he sees an attractive female?

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Q. 20:  This one is the name of a band of the late 1960s and 1970s and of the English farmer who invented the seed-planting drill in 1701?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is kitchen tin foil made from?

A.  1:  Aluminium (US-English: Aluminum).

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Q.  2:  With what would you ‘rock the baby’ or ‘walk the dog’?

A.  2:  A Yoyo.

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Q.  3:  What is the main ingredient of a mince pie?

A.  3:  Fruit.

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Q.  4:  Where was the Titanic built?

A.  4:  Belfast, Ireland.

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Q.  5:  How many best director Oscars did Alfred Hitchcock win?

A.  5:  Remarkably the correct answer is ‘None’.

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Q.  6:  What is feldspar?

            a)  a flower            b)  a type of coral            c)  a mineral

A.  6:  The correct answers is c) a mineral.

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Q.  7:  What mineral is an ‘Alaskan diamond’?

A.  7:  Quartz.

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Q.  8:  Which country owns the island of Bermuda?

A.  8:  Great Britain.

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Q.  9:  How many equal angles has a ‘scalene triangle’?

A.  9:  None. A scalene triangle has 3 unequal sides and angles.

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Q. 10:  What is an ‘ocular contusion’ more commonly known as?

A. 10:  A black eye.

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Q. 11:  What color is the black box on a plane?

A. 11:  The ‘Black’ box is in fact ‘Orange’.

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Q. 12:  What property of a body is calculated by multiplying its mass by its velocity?

A. 12:  Momentum.

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Q. 13:  What nation invented the kilt?

A. 13:  No, not Scotland, the kilt was invented in Ireland.

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Q. 14:  Meaning before noon, what does the acronym ‘AM’ stand for?

A. 14:  Ante meridian.

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Q. 15:  ‘Pb’ is the chemical symbol for which element?

A. 15:  Lead.

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Q. 16:  What was John Lennon’s middle name?

A. 16:  Winston.

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Q. 17:  The term ‘Lupine’ relates to which animals?

A. 17:  Wolves.

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Q. 18:  What is the difference between an ‘albatross’ and an ‘albacore’?

A. 18:  An albatross is a bird and an albacore is a fish.

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Q. 19:  Which part of a man’s body enlarges by up to 8 times when he sees an attractive female?

A. 19:  The pupil of his eye (Oh, come on, you should be so lucky!).

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Q. 20:  This one is the name of a band of the late 1960s and 1970s and of the English farmer who invented the seed-planting drill in 1701?

A. 20:  Jethro Tull.

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Ivory hunters, tsk tsk.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Tsk, tsk indeed. What a terrible thing to do.

But what is also terrible, and the more terrible the better it seems, are puns.

It’s word play day.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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rofl

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When it comes to making money,

I’ve got to hand it to my wife.

All of it.

cartoon handing money to wife

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Apprehended:

The new App that reminds

you your hen is dead.

Apprehended

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I had an argument with my neighbor

about my trees growing over his fence.

When I extended the olive branch

it only made matters worse.

trees growing over fence

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I went into a bar and said to the guy serving,

‘How much is a pint of lager?’

He replied,

‘Five hundred and sixty-eight millilitres.’

pint v milliliters

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My identical twin was hit by a bus last year.

He’s not been the same since.

twins

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I got lost on my first day of college,

which is when I met my wife.

She was lost too, and neither I nor she knew

what class we were supposed to be in.

And as I stared into her eyes,

I knew that we had chemistry.

chemistry

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I brewed 5 gallons of homebrew.

It was pretty weak so my friend offered me ten bucks 

if I could drink the lot in one session…

I was going to accept, but in the end I bottled it.

homebrew_equipment

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I live for my alarm clock collection,

it’s the only reason I get up in the morning.

alarm clock collection

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I just fired my limousine driver.

I don’t know why,

because I have nothing to chauffeur it.

limousine driver

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Just had lunch at an excellent Christian restaurant

called “The Lord Giveth”.

They also do takeaways.

takeaways

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My wife was preparing lunch today when she asked,

“Sweetheart, where’s the cheese grater?”

“Some would say France, others would say England,” I replied.

cheese

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I bought some really odd shaped eggs

but now i can’t find them.

I think they’ve been mislaid.

odd shaped eggs

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Me and my girl plan to recreate every position

from the Kama Sutra tonight using only Lego bricks.

The excitement is building.

Kama Sutra Lego bricks

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I asked my son what his sexuality was.

He replied ”bi”.

Ironically, his answer forced me

to say the exact same thing.

bye

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Eminem goes to check the weather

It’s rainy and gray outside

He goes back to watch TV

Checks weather back in 10 minutes

Still shady

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Poor Oliver Buckworth!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Anyone who has traveled by air anywhere in the world since the 9/11 attacks has been the victim of the idiotic security measures at airports.

Belts off, shoes off, laptops out, body scan or grope – you know the drill. All useless and ineffective and there, like a lot of other stuff, to give the impression that the government is doing something when in reality it is doing nothing.

And as always the stupid rules are enforced by even stupider people.

So, who is poor Oliver Buckworth?

He’s a 28-year-old Melbourne-based interior designer, a threat to no one, and a victim of the security morons that infest air travel these days.

You see Oliver was on a flight in Australia, on a carrier called Tiger Airways. To pass the time he started doodling in a note pad he had with him.

The doodle said “In a land of melting ice-cream, sandy feet and fluffy bears, how could anybody be fearful of terrorism?” and along with it was a visual pun with the word “terrorismadeup” picked out in different colors to suggest that “terror is made up”. Being an interior designer he also drew a chandelier on the same page.

Now you are probably asking, what exactly was his crime?

Doodling with intent to do what?

Not taking the air travel security farce seriously enough?

Having a sense of humor?

Or just getting bored and passing the time with his note pad and pen?

A busybody passenger sitting near Buckworth reported his doodle to the airline staff, who, instead of telling the other passenger to wise up, took the whole thing seriously. Yes, they were as stupid as the busybody passenger.

Apparently Tiger Airways have a “zero tolerance” policy “towards inappropriate and antisocial behavior” which seemed to include Oliver’s doodle. He said he was writing a sentence about the absurdity of recent fear-mongering statements about the threat of possible terrorist attacks, but it was enough to have him thrown off the plane and handed over to the Australian Federal Police.

To be fair to the police, after doing a background check on Oliver they realized that the airline idiots hadn’t uncovered the next Osama Bin Laden and they didn’t take any further action.

But, choosing not to involve themselves with common sense, Tiger Airways banned him from using the airline again, not that he’d probably want to now anyway.

Well done Tiger Airways, you done Australia proud – I think not!

Here’s Oliver’s doodle, make up your own mind.

the Buckworth doodle

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Golf Balls, Planets and Satellites, Just Some Of Today’s Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fasab fact day.

Random as always, but hopefully interesting as well, here is the latest batch of facts.

Enjoy.

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fact 01

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The maximum weight

for a golf ball is 1.62 oz.

golf ball

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On August 6, 1920 in a game between

the Cleveland Indians and the New York Yankees,

Carl Mays (Yankees) pitched a ball towards Ray Chapman (Indians)

that hit him on the head, fatally wounding him.

Chapman is the only major league baseball player

to be fatally injured during a game.

Ray Chapman

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If you could compress the Earth down to the size of a marble

it would collapse on itself and become a black hole.

marble

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The most valuable chocolate bar in the world is a

Cadbury’s chocolate bar that’s over a 100-years old

and went on Captain Robert Scott’s first

Discovery expedition to the Antarctic.

The bar, which was 4 inches long,

wrapped and uneaten, was bought for $687 by

an anonymous buyer at Christie’s, London in 2001.

Cadbury's chocolate bar Captain Robert Scott's first Discovery expedition to the Antarctic

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Your brain is actually more active

while you are sleeping.

brain is actually more active while you are sleeping

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In her first solo skydiving jump, Shayna Richardson’s

main and reserve parachutes failed to deploy

and she fell 10,000 feet at 50 mph towards the ground.

She slammed into the asphalt face-first,

shattering her skull and pelvis.

Miraculously, she survived.

Even more miraculously,

the baby she carried

(which she found out about at the hospital)

survived as well.

Shayna Richardson skydiver in death defying plunge

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If you hear “code V” over  a radio

in DIsney it means Vomit.

code V at Disney

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October 4, 1957 is an historic date to be remembered,

it is the day the Russian satellite Sputnik 1 was launched.

On the same day America launched

the TV sitcom ‘Leave it to Beaver’.

Sputnik 1 Launch Novosti

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From the 19th to 20th century the French Empire

was the second largest in the world,

next to the British Empire,

extending to over 12 million square kilometers

and including territory in Africa and Southeast Asia.

French Empire

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Cryptophasia is the name given to

secret languages spoken by twins.

Cryptophasia

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Austrian Hans Steininger was famous

for having the world’s longest beard.

One day there was a fire in town and being in a hurry

he forgot to role up his beard.

He accidentally stepped on it,

fell down, and broke his neck.

Hans Steininger longest beard

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One spoonful of matter from a neutron star

would weigh about a billion tons.

neutron star

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According to new scientific studies,

eating chocolate can prevent pregnancy problems.

The chemical theobromine found in chocolate

may reduce preeclampsia, a major pregnancy complication.

theobromine chocolate

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Tragedy comes from the Greek word “tragodia”

which means “song of the male goat”.

song of the male goat

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Michael Di Lorenzo,

who plays Eddie Torres on New York Undercover

is one of the lead dancers in

Michael Jackson’s “Beat It” video.

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Fasab Quiz Day Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Quiz Day it is and that means another twenty brain teasing questions.

The usual random mixture and also as usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  What is the most common non-contagious disease in the world?

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Q.  2:  What drupaceous fruit were Hawaiian women once forbidden by law to eat?

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Q.  3:  Arabic numerals originated in which country?

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Q.  4:  What bird is used as the sign of peace?

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Q.  5:  Who discovered penicillin?

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Q.  6:  How many children were in Enid Blyton’s Famous Five?

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Q.  7:  What was the name of the ‘professor’ in the movie trilogy ‘Back to the Future’?

            a)  Doc Holliday          b)  Doc Brown          c)  Doc Payne          d) Doc Jones

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Q.  8:  What was the first daily comic strip published in the United States?

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Q.  9:  During which “war” in the 1950’s were the slogans “Better Dead Than Red” and “Better Red Than Dead” popular?

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Q. 10:  By what process does the sun’s energy reach the earth?

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Q. 11:  What is the highest, or maximum, break in a game of snooker?

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Q. 12:  Which word means the forecast of the probable course or outcome of a disease?

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Q. 13:  10. What is the national symbol of Ireland?

            a)  Crown Jewels of Ireland    b) Celtic Cross    c) Celtic Harp    d) Irish Wolfhound

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Q. 14:  What color are white grapes?

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Q. 15:  What is floating wreckage at sea called?

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Q. 16:  Who said: “I’m the president of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli”?

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Q. 17:  What creatures are the Canary Islands named after?

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Q. 18:  What weapon did German gunsmith August Kotter invent in 1520?

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Q. 19:  What is the collective name for a group of beavers?

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Q. 20:  And an easy one to finish, what type of animal inspired the creation of Bugs Bunny, Brer Rabbit, and the Easter Bunny?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is the most common non-contagious disease in the world?

A.  1:  Tooth Decay.

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Q.  2:  What drupaceous fruit were Hawaiian women once forbidden by law to eat?

A.  2:  Coconuts.

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Q.  3:  Arabic numerals originated in which country?

A.  3:  They originated in India.

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Q.  4:  What bird is used as the sign of peace?

A.  4:  The Dove.

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Q.  5:  Who discovered penicillin?

A.  5:  Alexander Fleming (in 1928).

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Q.  6:  How many children were in Enid Blyton’s Famous Five?

A.  6:  Four.

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Q.  7:  What was the name of the ‘professor’ in the movie trilogy ‘Back to the Future’?

            a)  Doc Holliday          b)  Doc Brown          c)  Doc Payne          d) Doc Jones

A.  7:  The correct answer is b) Doc Brown.

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Q.  8:  What was the first daily comic strip published in the United States?

A.  8:  Mr. Mutt.

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Q.  9:  During which “war” in the 1950’s were the slogans “Better Dead Than Red” and “Better Red Than Dead” popular?

A.  9:  The Cold War.

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Q. 10:  By what process does the sun’s energy reach the earth?

A. 10:  Radiation.

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Q. 11:  What is the highest, or maximum, break in a game of snooker?

A. 11:  147.

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Q. 12:  Which word means the forecast of the probable course or outcome of a disease?

A. 12:  Prognosis.

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Q. 13:  10. What is the national symbol of Ireland?

            a)  Crown Jewels of Ireland    b) Celtic Cross    c) Celtic Harp    d) Irish Wolfhound

A. 13:  The correct answer is c) The Celtic Harp.

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Q. 14:  What color are white grapes?

A. 14:  Green.

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Q. 15:  What is floating wreckage at sea called?

A. 15:  Flotsam (Jetsam is discarded material which has been washed ashore).

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Q. 16:  Who said: “I’m the president of the United States and I’m not going to eat any more broccoli”?

A. 16:  George Bush.

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Q. 17:  What creatures are the Canary Islands named after?

A. 17:  Dogs (probably a reference to monk seals once found around the islands, whose Latin translation is ‘sea dogs’).

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Q. 18:  What weapon did German gunsmith August Kotter invent in 1520?

A. 18:  The Rifle.

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Q. 19:  What is the collective name for a group of beavers?

A. 19:  A Colony.

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Q. 20:  And an easy one to finish, what type of animal inspired the creation of Bugs Bunny, Brer Rabbit, and the Easter Bunny?

A. 20:  Well maybe not quite so easy, the correct answer is a Hare. (No points if you just said ‘rabbit’.)

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Being Calm Is Not Something I Rate.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But of course something I do rate are puns.

Here’s some more.

Enjoy or endure!!!

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rofl

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Polce Toay Announce They Are

Nvestgatng A Strng Of ID Thefts.

ID Thefts

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I hate washing up liquid.

Washing up solids is much simpler.

washing up liquid

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My girlfriend is leaving me because I’ve got alopecia.

oh well it’s hair loss.

alopecia

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Cryptographers make terrible drummers.

They just sit there, fascinated by all the cymbals.

drummer

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My new job as a taxidermist is pretty boring.

All I do is sit around and stuff.

taxidermist

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My son is cold and calculating

I’ve turned the heating off whilst

he does his maths homework.

homework

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Got an insurance quote today for my car.

They offered me a fire-and-theft policy.

I thought, “Who’d nick a car that was on fire?”

"Why's your fire-and-theft policy so cheap?"

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“When might we take the kids to Disneyland?”

the wife asked me a few weeks ago.

I thought about it, and replied, “May.”

It’s been a blast watching her pack,

and the kids getting excited.

All I did was correct her grammar.

Disneyland

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A man walked over to a kid playing with a

huge lizard and asked if he could see it.

After fiddling around with it for a few moments,

he asked what its name was.

The kid replied with, “Tiny.”

“How on Earth did you ever get a name like that

for such a huge creature?” the man asked in awe.

The kid replied with, “Because he’s my newt!”

newt

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My wife is a mute.

She communicates by embroidery.

It’s her own version of sign language,

sew to speak.

embroidery

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I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory

after all the extra hours I put in.

clock factory

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I heard vandals have broken into

an origami exhibition

and ruined all the exhibits.

Police are trying to work out

how it all unfolded.

origami

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My gym instructor pointed at fifteen heavy dumbbells

and told me I had to lift them all

over the next quarter of an hour.

Weight a minute…

fifteen heavy dumbbells

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What do you call seafood in a cement mixer?

Hardcore prawn.

cement mixer

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News just in:

Stevie Nicks has announced her

engagement to William Shatner.

When they get married she will

be known as Stevie Shatner Nicks.

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