Last Day Of The Month, First Quiz Of The Week.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another start of the week quiz.

Another twenty brain teasing questions to stimulate those old grey cells.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Q.  1:  Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?

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Q.  2:  Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?

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Q.  3:  Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?

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Q.  4:  What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?

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Q.  5:  In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?

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Q.  6:  Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)

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Q.  7:  This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?

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Q.  8:  Who was ‘The Once and Future King’? 

           a) Elvis           b) Arthur          c) Idi Amin           d) Aragorn

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Q.  9:  What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief?  (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?

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Q. 11:  Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?

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Q. 12:  The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?

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Q. 13:  Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?

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Q. 14:  The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?

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Q. 15:  What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?

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Q. 16:  What is the capital of Equador?

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Q. 17:  Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one?  (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)

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Q. 18:  What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?

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Q. 19:  Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?

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Q. 20:  What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?

A.  1:  The Himalayas.

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Q.  2:  Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?

A.  2:  Greek shipping magnate, Aristotle Onassis.

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Q.  3:  Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?

A.  3:  On The Beach.

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Q.  4:  What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?

A.  4:  David Copperfield.

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Q.  5:  In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?

A.  5:  New Zealand.

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Q.  6:  Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)

A.  6:  They were Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain.

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Q.  7:  This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?

A.  7:  He is John Malkovich, who starred in the movie ‘Being John Malkovich’.

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Q.  8:  Who was ‘The Once and Future King’? 

           a) Elvis           b) Arthur          c) Idi Amin           d) Aragorn

A.  8:  b) Arthur.

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Q.  9:  What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief?  (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  9:  J Edgar Hoover was the first, the current director is James Comey.

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?

A. 10:  The Yellow River.

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Q. 11:  Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?

A. 11:  There was no September 3rd 1752. The British government adopted the Gregorian calendar.  It was decreed that the day following September 2nd 1752 should be called September 14.

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Q. 12:  The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?

A. 12:  Poetry.

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Q. 13:  Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?

A. 13:  John Wayne.

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Q. 14:  The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?

A. 14:  Formosa (the modern name is Taiwan.)

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Q. 15:  What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?

A. 15:  Kevin O’Leary.

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Q. 16:  What is the capital of Equador?

A. 16:  Quito.

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Q. 17:  Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one?  (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)

A. 17:  It was his left ear.

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Q. 18:  What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?

A. 18:  They were ‘Alias Smith And Jones’.

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Q. 19:  Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?

A. 19:  Genghis Khan.

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Q. 20:  What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?

A. 20:  Heartbreak Hotel (in 1956).

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Twat Of The Year Award – Update.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Don’t worry folks, I haven’t started a new award or competition on the fasab blog.

But if I did, and we had to choose a ‘Twat Of The Year’, way up front in the running would have to be US Secretary of State John Kerry.

 

Although he looks as if his feet are a decent size, he can still manage to get them both in his mouth at the same time, as he frequently demonstrates.

And he’s just done it again.

The latest Kerry blooper came amidst a glad-handing and candle lighting visit to the Ukraine.

Frustrated in their attempts to get bogged down in Syria, Obama and his front-man Kerry are intent on interfering somewhere in the world.

The Ukraine, in particular the Crimea region, just happens to be the most convenient at the moment.

As with other parts of the world, they have no business being there or interfering. And they know it.

But Obama’s ego took a battering from the positive impact Russian leader Putin made over Syria, so now he thinks this is his opportunity to get his own back.

That’s not a good reason to interfere. And they know that too.

The whole thing is made even worse when you listen to the justifications coming from John Kerry.

Apparently the very best that Obama’s regiment of political analysts and script writers seem to be able to come up with is that Russia’s recent actions in the Crimea were taken on a completely “trumped up” pretext. 

Whooaaah!

Say that again.

In an interview trying to justify his alleged outrage at what Russia was doing, Kerry said,

“you just don’t, in the 21st century, behave in a 19th century fashion by invading another country on a completely trumped-up pretext.”

It was toe-curlingly awful.

Correct me if I am wrong, but wasn’t that EXACTLY what President Bush and his accomplice Britain’s Tony (Liar) Blair did when they invaded Iraq on the totally untrue  – that is, “trumped-up”, reason that Saddam Hussein had Weapons Of Mass Destruction? WMDs that were never found and in fact never existed.

Apparently Mr. Kerry wasn’t paying attention during the preamble to the Iraq invasion that turned into an unmitigated disaster for all concerned.

Yes John, you’ve got yourself a good lead in the ‘Twat Of The Year Award’ contest.

You’re going to be hard to beat this year!

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Jeremiah Denton.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Jeremiah Denton died today.

He was 89 years old.

He was also a Senator for Alabama, but that’s not why he is the subject of this post, after all we don’t hold politicians in very high regard here.

No, Jeremiah Denton is being remembered for his time in service in the Navy, and mostly because of the period he spent as a Prisoner Of War courtesy of the North Vietnamese.

In all he spent almost eight years as a POW in North Vietnam (four of them in solitary confinement). He later wrote a book about his experiences, which in turn became a movie.

At the time Denton was US Naval Aviator and was the Commanding Officer of Attack Squadron Seventy-Five aboard the aircraft carrier USS Independence.

On 18 July 1965, while he and Lieutenant Bill Tschudy, his navigator/bombardier, were leading twenty-eight planes on a bombing mission, their jet was hit by enemy fire and the two men ejected over the city of Thanh Hoa in North Vietnam, where they were captured and taken prisoner by the North Vietnamese.

Denton is best known for a 1966 televised press conference in which he was forced to participate as an American POW by his North Vietnamese captors.

During the press conference Denton had the presence of mind to use the opportunity to send a coded message confirming for the first time to the U.S. Office of Naval Intelligence and Americans that American POWs were being tortured in North Vietnam.

To send his message Denton repeatedly blinked his eyes in Morse code during the interview, spelling out the word, “T-O-R-T-U-R-E”.

He was also questioned about his support for the U.S. war in Vietnam, to which he replied: “I don’t know what is happening, but whatever the position of my government is, I support it fully. Whatever the position of my government, I believe in it, yes sir. I am a member of that government, and it is my job to support it, and I will as long as I live.”

While a prisoner, he was promoted to the rank of Captain. Denton was later awarded the Navy Cross and several other decorations, mostly for heroism while a prisoner of war.

These days loyalty and initiative are not as valued as they once were, or as they should be. Anyone who had such values during their lifetime is worth remembering.

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For those interested you can read more on Wikipedia or do a search on Google.

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Does A Man Need A Mistress Just To Break The Monogamy?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Let’s not get into a discussion on marriage.

Rather just investigate some more of those word plays we call puns.

Enjoy or endure!

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Did you hear about the two crooks who bought a hotel.

They were inn-mates.

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“This fishing tackle tastes disgusting!”

he said with baited breath.

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So the barman says to Paddy,

“Your glass is empty, would you like another one?”

“Another one?” Paddy replies,

“Sure what would I want with two empty glasses?”

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In America,

2pac’s of Eminem’s cost 50 Cents.

That’s Ludacris.

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We’ve got neighbors from Hell

A lovely old Norwegian couple…

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“I had a vision out of the cornea of my eye

that you would be a great pupil,”

the teacher said.

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My wife had one of those near death experiences last night

Silly woman thought she could vacuum the floors

while the super bowl was on.

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When a college dormitory exploded

a lot of roomers were flying.

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CNN News “Tree Falls On Bank”

Didn’t say what branch though.

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When Billy was sent to prison the first thing he said

to his cell mate was, “I won’t be in here long”

“Well the judge gave you six years,” his cell mate said.

“Yeah I know,” Billy replied. “But my wife will break me out

she’s never let me finish a sentence before.”

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By the way,

I’m hosting a charity evening and raffle this Saturday evening

to raise money for people who struggle to reach orgasm.

If you can’t come let me know.

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What do you call a man with no shins?

Tony.

(Get it? No shins, Toe-Knee.)

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My son just asked, “Dad, can you tell me what gay means?”

“It means to be happy,” I replied.

“Are you gay, dad?”

“No, son. I married your mother!”

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My route to work has been scattered with average speed cameras.

You’d think the tight asses would have shelled out for the decent ones.

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I’m just off for a meeting with an Indian car maker.

Tata.

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“IDK, LY and TTYL!”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Not sure about the title? Don’t worry, all will become a little clearer in a moment.

Suffice to say we’re having another tussle with auto-correct!

Enjoy.

Usual health and safety applies to those of a nervous disposition who may be offended by adult themes and language.

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Did You Know? – More Interesting Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More interesting facts today.

Hats definitely off to James Harrison, but my favorite is Bill Morgan.

Enjoy.

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We’ll start with one in honor of the recently passed St Patrick’s Day.

St Patrick’s given name was Maewyn Succat.

After becoming a priest, he changed his name to Patricius,

from the Latin term meaning “father figure.”

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Esperanto is an artificial language,

but is spoken by about 500,000 to 2,000,000 people,

and 2 feature films have been done in the language.

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After the bible,

the most translated book in the world is

Pinocchio.

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Hall of fame boxer Sugar Ray Robinson backed out of a fight

because he had a dream that he was going to kill his opponent in the ring.

After a priest and minister convinced him to fight, Robinson went into the ring

and killed his opponent Jimmy Doyle.

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The German word for birth control pill is ‘antibabypille’

and in Switzerland they have pregnancy tests

called ‘MaybeBaby’ in vending machines.

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After 9/11, 1600 people died in automobile accidents

after they switched travel plans from flying to driving.

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If officials awarded Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France title

to the next fastest finisher who has never been linked to doping,

they would have to give it to the person who finished 23rd.

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When US Army officer Braxton Bragg held both the job of

the company commander and the post’s quartermaster,

he made a request to the quartermaster (that is, himself)

and when he received the request as quartermaster he denied it.

He continued to argue back and forth with himself through letters.

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In 2010 workers at Ground Zero found an 18th century wooden ship

underneath the World Trade Center rubble.

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When child actor Jackie Coogan turned 18,

he found out all his money, $68 million,

had been spent by his mother, who argued

“No promises were ever made to give Jackie anything.

Every dollar a kid earns before he is 21 belongs to his parents.” 

Coogan’s Bill was then passed to protect child actors.

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In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday.

(Isn’t that true for most places?)

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Ryan Gosling was cast as Noah in The Notebook

because the director wanted someone “not handsome.”

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After needing 13 liters of blood for a surgery at the age of 13,

a man named James Harrison, aka “The Man With The Golden Arm”,

pledged to donate blood once he turned 18.

It was discovered that his blood contained a rare antigen

which cured Rhesus disease.

He has donated blood a record 1000 times

and saved 2,000,000 lives.

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In 1942 in Mississippi there was a man known as the Phantom Barber

who would break into peoples’ houses at night and cut their hair.

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In 1999 an Australian man, named Bill Morgan

was declared dead for 14 minutes after an allergic reaction to drugs

given to him in hospital after a car accident.

To celebrate his survival he bought a scratch card

and won a $27,000 car.

A news team covering the story asked him to re-enact

the scratch card moment for their story,

so he went into the shop, bought another scratch card,

and won  $250,000 jackpot.

Here he is….

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Quiz Monday!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another Quiz Monday on the fasab blog.

One or two unusual questions today as well as the randomness of other weeks, so be on your toes.

As always if you do get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay dow below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck. 

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Q.  1:  How many cellos are involved in a typical string quartet?

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Q.  2:  Since the late 1970s ‘Superman’ has been portrayed in movies and on TV by five different actors, can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  3:  This one is the name of a robot and a mobile device operating system, what is it?

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Q.  4:  Why would it be right to say that Hollande is now in charge of France?

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Q.  5:  In the epic poem ‘Rime of the Ancient Mariner’ by the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, what was shot with a crossbow?

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Q.  6:  For what is Wynkyn de Worde (who died about 1534) famous?

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Q.  7:  How many independent ‘Baltic states’ are there? (A point for the correct number and bonus points for each one you can name).

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Q.  8:  Who had three UK Top Ten hits duetting with Ronald Reagan’s first wife, Princess Grace of Monaco and David Bowie?

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Q.  9:  In which city was Joan of Arc burnt to death for being a witch?

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Q. 10:  Who was the ‘Omega Man’ in the movie of the same name?

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Q. 11:  What is the United States of America’s highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty?

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Q. 12:  And for which war was the United States of America’s highest military honor created?

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Q. 13:  Which leader’s statue was pulled down in Red Square in 1991?

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Q. 14:  What word links Britain’s King Arthur and America’s Kennedy clan?

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Q. 15:  In which country was the liberator Simon Bolivar born and which country is named after him?

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Q. 16:  What animal is on the cover of The Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds album?

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Q. 17:  What is the well known word for ‘sailor of the stars’?

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Q. 18:  Which solo performer and high flyer was selected as the first Time magazine Man of the Year in 1927?

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Q. 19:  The answer is the number that links Charlton Heston and Bo Derek.

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Q. 20:  With which instrument would you associate the jazz musicians Theolonius Monk and Art Tatum?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  How many cellos are involved in a typical string quartet?

A.  1:  One.

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Q.  2:  Since the late 1970s ‘Superman’ has been portrayed in movies and on TV by five different actors, can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  2:  (a) Christopher Reeve (1978–1987) in ‘Superman: The Movie’, ‘Superman II’, ‘Superman III’, and ‘Superman IV: The Quest For Peace’.

(b) Dean Cain (1993–1997) in the television series ‘Lois & Clark: The New Adventures of Superman’.

(c) Tom Welling (2001–2011) in the television series ‘Smallville’.

(d) Brandon Routh (2006) in the movie ‘Superman Returns’.

And (e) Henry Cavill (2013) in the movie ‘Man of Steel’.

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Q.  3:  This one is the name of a robot and a mobile device operating system, what is it?

A.  3:  Android.

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Q.  4:  Why would it be right to say that Hollande is now in charge of France?

A.  4:  Because Francois Hollande was elected President on France in 2012.

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Q.  5:  In the epic poem ‘Rime of the Ancient Mariner’ by the English poet Samuel Taylor Coleridge, what was shot with a crossbow?

A.  5:  An Albatross.

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Q.  6:  For what is Wynkyn de Worde (who died about 1534) famous?

A.  6:  The clue was in his name, Wynkyn de Worde (originally Jan van Wynkyn) (pronounced: “Winkin dee Werd”) was a printer and publisher in London known for his work with William Caxton, and is recognized as the first to popularize the products of the printing press in England.

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Q.  7:  How many independent ‘Baltic states’ are there? (A point for the correct number and bonus points for each one you can name).

A.  7:  There are three Baltic States, Latvia, Estonia and Lithuania.

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Q.  8:  Who had three UK Top Ten hits duetting with Ronald Reagan’s first wife, Princess Grace of Monaco and David Bowie?

A.  8:  Bing Crosby.

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Q.  9:  In which city was Joan of Arc burnt to death for being a witch?

A.  9:  Rouen.

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Q. 10:  Who was the ‘Omega Man’ in the movie of the same name?

A. 10:  Charlton Heston.

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Q. 11:  What is the United States of America’s highest military honor, awarded for personal acts of valor above and beyond the call of duty?

A. 11:  The Medal of Honor.

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Q. 12:  And for which war was the United States of America’s highest military honor created?

A. 12:  The Medal of Honor was created in 1861, early in the American Civil War, to give recognition to men who distinguished themselves “conspicuously by gallantry and intrepidity” in combat with an enemy of the United States.

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Q. 13:  Which leader’s statue was pulled down in Red Square in 1991?

A. 13:  Lenin’s.

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Q. 14:  What word links Britain’s King Arthur and America’s Kennedy clan?

A. 14:  Camelot.

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Q. 15:  In which country was the liberator Simon Bolivar born and which country is named after him?

A. 15:  He was born in Venezuela and the country of Bolivia is named after him.

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Q. 16:  What animal is on the cover of The Beach Boys’ Pet Sounds album?

A. 16:  Goats.

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Q. 17:  What is the well known word for ‘sailor of the stars’?

A. 17:  Astronaut is ‘sailor of the stars’.

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Q. 18:  Which solo performer and high flyer was selected as the first Time magazine Man of the Year in 1927?

A. 18:  Charles Lindbergh.

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Q. 19:  The answer is the number that links Charlton Heston and Bo Derek.

A. 19:  The number is ‘10’, Charlton Heston starring in the movie ‘The Ten Commandments’ and Bo Derek in the movie ‘10’.  

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Q. 20:  With which instrument would you associate the jazz musicians Theolonius Monk and Art Tatum?

A. 20:  The piano.

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Quizzers, Your Moment Has Come!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello to all you quizzers out there. Your moment has indeed come.

It’s time for the Monday quiz here at the fasab blog.

Another random selection of questions and as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy, and good luck.

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Q.  1:  What is the longest river in South America?

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Q.  2:  Philip Pirrip is the central character in which famous Charles Dickens novel?

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Q.  3:  ‘Firefly’, ‘The Mole’ and ‘Fab 2’ are all examples of what?

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Q.  4:  This famous historical duke and his horse both had capital cities named after them. Can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  5:  The island of Zealand is part of which country?

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Q.  6:  What is the name of the satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller set during World War II from 1942 to 1944?

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Q.  7:  What is the name of the Norwegian politician who became a puppet leader of his country during World War II, his name now a byword for treachery?

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Q.  8:  This 1999 movie starring Will Smith, who also sang the title song, won five Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Screenplay and Worst Original Song – what was it?

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Q.  9:  Which island has the 2 official languages Sinhalese and Tamil?

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Q. 10:  The site of this famous battle is now a National Monument, but in which American state did the Battle of The Little Bighorn take place?

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Q. 11:  In order of popularity, can you name the world’s top three religions?

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Q. 12:  Which South American city provides the setting for the 1982 movie ‘Missing’, starring Jack Lemmon?

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Q. 13:  British Honduras is now called what?

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Q. 14:  What Catholic Bishop was killed in Rome on February 14 AD 270?

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Q. 15:  Where were the ‘Camp David Accords’ signed, and by whom?

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Q. 16:  Who,  in the 1970s and at the age of forty-three, became the world’s first female President and the youngest Head of State in Latin America?

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Q. 17:  Who founded the first US detective agency in 1850?

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Q. 18:  For what invention is Earl Silas Tupper best known?

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Q. 19:  Who said in a 1933 movie, “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” (A bonus point if you can name the movie.)

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Q. 20:  Which super group were originally called the ‘New Yardbirds’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is the longest river in South America?

A.  1:  The Amazon.

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Q.  2:  Philip Pirrip is the central character in which famous Charles Dickens novel?

A.  2:  Great Expectations.

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Q.  3:  ‘Firefly’, ‘The Mole’ and ‘Fab 2’ are all examples of what?

A.  3:  Vehicles in the TV series Thunderbirds.

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Q.  4:  This famous historical duke and his horse both had capital cities named after them. Can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  4:  The famous historical duke is the Duke of Wellington, Wellington being the capital city of New Zealand;  the name of his horse was Copenhagen which is also the name of the capital city of Denmark.  

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Q.  5:  The island of Zealand is part of which country?

A.  5:  Denmark.

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Q.  6:  What is the name of the satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller set during World War II from 1942 to 1944?

A.  6:  Catch-22.

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Q.  7:  What is the name of the Norwegian politician who became a puppet leader of his country during World War II, his name now a byword for treachery?

A.  7:  Vidkun Quisling.

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Q.  8:  This 1999 movie starring Will Smith, who also sang the title song, won five Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Screenplay and Worst Original Song – what was it?

A.  8:  Wild, Wild West.

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Q.  9:  Which island has the 2 official languages Sinhalese and Tamil?

A.  9:  Sri Lanka.

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Q. 10:  The site of this famous battle is now a National Monument, but in which American state did the Battle of The Little Bighorn take place?

A. 10:  Montana.

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Q. 11:  In order of popularity, can you name the world’s top three religions?

A. 11:  Christianity (2 billion followers approximately), Islam (1.6 billion) and Hinduism (1 billion).

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Q. 12:  Which South American city provides the setting for the 1982 movie ‘Missing’, starring Jack Lemmon?

A. 12:  Santiago de Chile. (You get a point if you just said Santiago.)

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Q. 13:  British Honduras is now called what?

A. 13:  Belize.

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Q. 14:  What Catholic Bishop was killed in Rome on February 14 AD 270?

A. 14:  Did the date give it away? The answer is, St Valentine.

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Q. 15:  Where were the ‘Camp David Accords’ signed, and by whom?

A. 15:  Although they are named after the location at which the secret negotiations preceding them took place, The ‘Camp David Accords’ were actually signed at the White House in Washington DC, by Egyptian President Anwar El Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin on 17 September 1978, witnessed by United States President Jimmy Carter.

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Q. 16:  Who, in the 1970s at the age of forty-three, became the world’s first female President and the youngest Head of State in Latin America?

A. 16:  Isabel Peron.

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Q. 17:  Who founded the first US detective agency in 1850?

A. 17:  Allan Pinkerton.

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Q. 18:  For what invention is Earl Silas Tupper best known?

A. 18:  The clue was in the name, the answer is ‘Tupperware’.

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Q. 19:  Who said in a 1933 movie, “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” (A bonus point if you can name the movie.)

A. 19:  Groucho Marx in ‘Duck Soup’.

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Q. 20:  Which super group were originally called the ‘New Yardbirds’?

A. 20:  Led Zeppelin.

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Using Words Incorrectly Is Addicting.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Using words incorrectly may be addicting, but so are puns.

Here is this week’s word play selection.

Enjoy or endure!

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The skin on all the oranges in our

kitchen cupboard has been scraped off.

I think somebody has been taking the pith.

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My friend composes ditties about sewing machines.

She’s a Singer songwriter.

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They say male lions will often turn to

cannibalism when they’re desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

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I went to the optician and he said I was short sighted.

I said, “Nonsense – I’m very open minded.”

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I said to my friend,

“It’s important that no-one mentions any film production companies.”

“How important is it?” he asked.

“Paramount,” I replied.

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My friend’s father has been living in Iraq’s

capital for the last year with an awful woman.

He’s just told him,

“you’ve got to leave that old bag dad.”

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It’s amazing how a piece of technology

as simple as a tablet can revolutionize your life.

Those viagra are amazing.

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I have an intelligent Taser.

Whenever I use it on someone it explains to

them in no uncertain terms why I’m doing it.

I call it my frank zapper.

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How do they search online in Israel?

They just go on the Netanyahu.

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My next door neighbor recently won the lottery.

She always had gender issues and

felt she was a man trapped in a woman’s body,

so the first thing she did was have a sex change.

Who said money can’t buy a penis?

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“I love having red hair – the ladies really dig it,”

said Tom, gingerly.

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When they bought a water bed,

the couple started to drift apart.

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The world’s largest DIY store chain

is to run their own schools,

the curriculum will be normal but

the day will start with self-assembly.

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My son is being forced to smoke by our French exchange student.

Pierre Pressure.

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Documentary on the Pointer Sisters tonight.

I’m so excited.

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Duck Auto-Cucumber!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A sentiment no doubt felt by many as they struggle with texting on their cell phones.

Here is the latest selection of casualties.

Enjoy.

Usual health and safety warning applies for those of a nervous disposition likely to be offended by strong and explicit language.

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