“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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How would you like to live in some of these places?
The towns may be okay but the names certainly leave a lot to be desired.
I wonder why they never changed them?
Enjoy.
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====================================================
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Like it says in the title, nothing is free these days.
Except for puns that is.
You just can’t put a price on that level of enjoyment!
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Guy #1: “I’m stuck with one word on this crossword,
the clue is a 10 letter word, similar to being silly”
Guy #2: “Oh, that’s ridiculous”
Guy #1: “I know, I’ve been stuck on it for hours”.
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I’ve put in so many shifts where I work recently
that they’ve decided to fire me.
Making keyboards isn’t as easy as it looks.
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My sister had a baby boy and
she’s gonna name him Mark, but with a “C”.
Who ever heard of someone called “Cark”?
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The manager of the toy shop I work at phoned me and said:
“Steve, our stock records show that we’re missing a space hopper.
I need you to find it for me.”
I said, “Don’t worry boss, I’m on it.”
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Google Chrome
All you’ll get is a description of a metal.
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The head teacher at my school called me in to his office today.
He said, “I’ve just had a rock thrown through my window, are you responsible?”
I replied, “No, I’m irresponsible. That’s why I threw it.”
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Woke up this morning and my joints were really stiff.
I’ve only got myself to blame: I rolled them far too thick.
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For my next trick, I will eat a percussion instrument in a bap.
Drum roll, please.
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I bought a tree at the garden center that was far too big to get in the car,
so we had to cut the top off.
I didn’t really mind though,
I’ve always wanted a convertible.
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My girlfriend said it would be nice if I could maintain an erection.
So I’ve volunteered to clean bird crap off the Statue of Liberty.
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I saw a busker with no arms today singing so badly
I offered him five bucks to stop.
But that was just another note he couldn’t hold.
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I do not have an OCD over tidiness.
I just wanted to clear that up.
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My Korean friend was going to cook his wife a surprise birthday dinner.
But someone let the cat out of the bag.
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I’m planning a camping holiday but, I have to say,
I’m far from impressed with my travel insurance.
It turns out if someone steals my tent in the night,
I’ll no longer be covered.
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What are long, hard and delicious?
Adjectives.
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I find nothing is quite so annoying as having someone
carry on talking while you’re trying to interrupt.
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Apparently 80% of people who have cosmetic surgery
are disappointed by the results.
Which is a bit odd,
because most of them look pleasantly surprised.
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I was waiting in line for a club last night
and the guy at the door was checking IDs.
He was taking ages.
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Is anyone else tired,
or is it just M.E.?
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My friend’s new girlfriend has been around the block a few times…
Like most women, she’s crap at parking.
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Latest edition of the midweek look at the newspaper nightmares.
The philosophy seems to be that if you are an idiot you should let as many people as possible know!
Enjoy.
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================================================
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Yes indeed, here are the facts. Another random selection for your enjoyment.
I hope you find them interesting, maybe even educational.
And, of course, you’ll find out a little later why your whole childhood was a lie.
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The chances of making two holes-in-one in a round of golf
are one in sixty-seven million, 1:67,000,000.
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Another word for hiccups is ‘singultus’.
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Airports that are at higher altitudes require
a longer airstrip due to lower air density.
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The only poisonous birds in the world are the three species of Pitohui.
The Hooded Pitohui from Papua New Guinea is the most deadly out of the three
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In 1955, only 330 Volkswagen Beetle’s were sold
at a price of $1800 each in the United States.
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The Chihuahua was named after
the Mexican state where they were discovered
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There are more than 640 muscles in the human body
(and as you get older they all start to hurt!)
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The odds of having quadruplets are 1 in 729,000
(for men the odds are much higher!)
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The destruction of the Berlin Wall began when private citizens
started to demolish entire sections of the Wall without interference
from government officials on November 9, 1989
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France is known as the perfume capital of the world
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Since its introduction in February 1935,
more than two hundred million Monopoly board games
have been sold worldwide
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It takes 3,000 cows to supply the NFL
with enough leather for a year’s supply of footballs.
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When former Texas Governor James Hogg was on his deathbed
he made a special request that a pecan tree
be planted at the head of his grave instead of a tombstone.
The governor passed away on March 2, 1906,
which is Texas Independence Day.
The pecan tree is now the state tree of Texas
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In 1477, the first diamond engagement ring was given to
Mary of Burgundy by Archduke Maximillian of Austria
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The smallest frog is the “Brazilian baby frog”,
which is smaller than a dime
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India used to be the richest country in the world
until the British invasion in the early 17th Century
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Marie Curie, the Nobel prize winning scientist who discovered radium,
died of radiation poisoning
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The iron disulfide (Pyrite) is considered “fool’s gold”
because it looks very similar to gold.
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In 1759, St. James’s Gate Brewery (where they brew Guinness)
was leased for to Arthur Guinness for 9,000 years for 45 pounds per year.
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A Roadrunner’s top speed is 20 mph
while coyotes can reach speeds of up to 43 mph
– so let’s face it folks, your whole childhood was a lie!
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=======================================
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Yes another start to the week, and here on the fasab blog that means another quiz.
We’ll start off with a relatively easy one today, but the others may be more challenging. Still that’s what we want. If they were too simple what would be the point?
As always the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but NO cheating!
Enjoy.
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Q. 1: It is ‘Kar’ in Turkish, ‘Lumi’ in Finnish, ‘Neve’ in Italian, ‘Nieve’ in Spanish and ‘Neige’ in French, but what is it called in English?
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Q. 2: How many sides does a dodecahedron have?
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Q. 3: It consists of seven letters and is a noun meaning ‘chorus’ and a verb meaning ‘to cease’, what is it?
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Q. 4: Which famous Hollywood actor was buried in his Dracula costume?
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Q. 5: What name is given to the Japanese dish of thinly sliced meat, vegetables and seasoning all cooked together quickly, usually at the table?
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Q. 6: Based on the total number of passengers per year, the two busiest metro (subway) systems in the world are in which cities? (One point for each correct answer.)
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Q. 7: What was the name of the child in the TV series ‘Bewitched’?
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Q. 8: What is the stage name of Sir Thomas John Woodward?
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Q. 9: What is the largest city in the US named after a British PM?
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Q. 10: Claret wine is produced in the region surrounding which French city?
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Q. 11: How many prime numbers are there between 10 and 20?
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Q. 12: ‘Allegro’ is a musical direction meaning to play how?
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Q. 13: How many squares/spaces on a chess board?
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Q. 14: Which famous singer was first offered, but thankfully did not get or accept, the TV role of ‘Lieutenant Colombo’?
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Q. 15: What is the name of Sherlock Holmes’ housekeeper?
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Q. 16: What was the name of the park ranger frequently outwitted by Yogi Bear?
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Q. 17: Who was the daughter of the prophet Muhammad?
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Q. 18: From which country did the dish ‘chilli con carne’ originate?
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Q. 19: Until the mid 16th century “sea dogs” was the English word for which type of predator?
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Q. 20: What are the two missing words in this famous quote from the classic movie ‘Casablanca’?
“Of all the … ….. in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine”
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: It is ‘Kar’ in Turkish, ‘Lumi’ in Finnish, ‘Neve’ in Italian, ‘Nieve’ in Spanish and ‘Neige’ in French, but what is it called in English?
A. 1: Snow
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Q. 2: How many sides does a dodecahedron have?
A. 2: 12
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Q. 3: It consists of seven letters and is a noun meaning ‘chorus’ and a verb meaning ‘to cease’, what is it?
A. 3: Refrain
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Q. 4: Which famous Hollywood actor was buried in his Dracula costume?
A. 4: Bela Lugosi
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Q. 5: What name is given to the Japanese dish of thinly sliced meat, vegetables and seasoning all cooked together quickly, usually at the table?
A. 5: Sukiyaki
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Q. 6: Based on the total number of passengers per year, the two busiest metro (subway) systems in the world are in which cities? (One point for each correct answer.)
A. 6: Tokyo and Moscow
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Q. 7: What was the name of the child in the TV series ‘Bewitched’?
A. 7: Tabitha.
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Q. 8: What is the stage name of Sir Thomas John Woodward?
A. 8: Tom Jones
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Q. 9: What is the largest city in the US named after a British PM?
A. 9: Pittsburgh
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Q. 10: Claret wine is produced in the region surrounding which French city?
A. 10: Bordeaux
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Q. 11: How many prime numbers are there between 10 and 20?
A. 11: Four (11, 13, 17 and 19)
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Q. 12: ‘Allegro’ is a musical direction meaning to play how?
A. 12: Lively/fast
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Q. 13: How many squares/spaces on a chess board?
A. 13: 64
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Q. 14: Which famous singer was first offered, but thankfully did not get or accept, the TV role of ‘Lieutenant Colombo’?
A. 14: Bing Crosby
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Q. 15: What is the name of Sherlock Holmes’ housekeeper?
A. 15: Mrs Hudson
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Q. 16: What was the name of the park ranger frequently outwitted by Yogi Bear?
A. 16: Ranger John Smith
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Q. 17: Who was the daughter of the prophet Muhammad?
A. 17: Fatimah
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Q. 18: From which country did the dish ‘chilli con carne’ originate?
A. 18: The USA.
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Q. 19: Until the mid 16th century “sea dogs” was the English word for which type of predator?
A. 19: Sharks
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Q. 20: What are the two missing words in this famous quote from the classic movie ‘Casablanca’?
“Of all the … ….. in all the towns in all the world, she walks into mine”
A. 20: “gin joints”
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==================================
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Last week’s post was a selection of towns that had been given names that, to put it mildly, left a lot to be desired.
Today is part two of what I have called the Silly Named Game with another selection of towns that you wouldn’t really want to have as your address if you didn’t have to.
I should say that the whole idea came to me when I was remembering the time I spent doing some business in Nevada. While there we came across a town called Pahrump (you can read more about it here if you are interested http://www.pahrumpnv.org/ ) and both my colleague and myself thought the name quite unusual.
He said to me, “I wonder why they called the town that?”
I must have been in good form that day because I was able to tell him straight off, “Oh, I know the answer to that.”
“Go on then,” he said. “Tell me.”
“Well,” I began. “This is cowboy country and one day, way back when, a couple of good ole boys were riding, one slightly behind the other, through the desert and came across this piece of land.”
“This here would make a good place to settle,” the first cowboy said.
“Sure would,” agreed the other.
“What do you reckon we should call it?” the cowboy in front asked – and as he did so the guy behind him raised a hip a let go with a rather loud fart.
“Pahrump?” the first cowboy questioned, thinking that was what he had heard the other one say. “Well, I guess it’s as good a name as any.”
“And that’s how the town became known as Pahrump,” I told my colleague.
I’d be the first to admit that it’s not the official explanation of how the town was named, but it’s a better version as far as I’m concerned and a warning to one and all never to name a town when all you have had to eat for a week is beef jerky and beans.
But enough of that.
Here is today’s selection of the Silly Named Game.
Enjoy!
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================================================
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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I may be having difficulty understanding the point of decimals, but I understand the point of a good pun or two.
Hope you do too.
Here is the latest word play selection for you enjoyment.
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I just found a note that says “Dial-a-Party” and a phone number.
I believe this calls for a celebration.
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Went to a 70’s disco the other night.
Bought all sorts of cool gear too; platform boots,
brightly coloured flares, an afro wig…
But in retro specs I looked a twat.
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Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma.
There’s no menu, they just give you what you deserve.
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I’m an avid campaigner for the preservation of endangered animals.
You should taste my panda jam.
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My friend’s always boasting how he once had to
shuffle 52 packs of cards and
then distribute them equally between 4 people.
Big deal.
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You know who I can’t stand?
Intolerant people.
Bastards!
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I had some time to kill yesterday.
So I went round to the mother-in-law’s.
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One by one, all of my best friends have started
to become interested in men as well as women.
So I’m just sitting here, watching the world go bi.
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My wife has just texted me asking me to ‘do her’ tonight.
I’m not looking forward to it, I’m useless at impressions.
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I was taking the freeway out of LA the other day
when the cops pulled me over and said:
‘Put it back’.
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Guy #1: “I call my girlfriend ‘Miss Universe’.”
Guy #2: “Is it because she’s so beautiful?”
Guy #1: “No it’s ’cause she’s constantly expanding, the fat cow!”
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I used to keep poking myself in my eyes,
but don’t worry,
I can’t see myself doing it again.
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Archaeologists have just discovered
an ancient Egyptian ruler embalmed in chocolate.
Apparently it was Pharaoh Rocher.
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My tailor has stitched the bottom
of my trousers the wrong way around.
Meh.
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I pulled a cracker last Christmas.
There’s a joke in there somewhere.
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Can anybody tell me where Jeopardy is?
Apparently there’s 1000s of jobs there.
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My teacher handed me a blank piece of white paper.
“Make a paper plane,” she said.
“It already is,” I said.
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My opinion on fishmongers?
Selfish.
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My friend just showed me a picture of his new girlfriend,
who he says is from Eastern Europe.
I looked at the picture and said
‘she looks nothing like a frog.’
‘What are you on about?’ He said.
‘I told you she’s a Tad-Polish.’
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I think my mum is going senile.
I just told her that my girlfriend is pregnant with my daughter.
She asked me, “Do you have a name?”
I said, “I’ve always had a name, for goodness sake, it’s me, David.”
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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The midweek look at the newspapers.
Always something in here to amuse and entertain and to show how a little bit of stupidity often goes a long way.
Enjoy.
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And finally,
I’ll huff,
and I’ll puff…
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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The facts are certainly here.
It’s up to you to choose how valuable and interesting they are.
Apart from anything else I hope you enjoy reading them.
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To save money when you shop, don’t touch anything.
Touching an item makes you more likely to buy it, and willing to pay more.
http://www.time.com/time/business/article/0,8599,1889081,00.html
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The famous US Pony Express only lasted a single year
before the transcontinental telegraph made the route obsolete.
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In a 2008 survey,
58% of British teens thought Sherlock Holmes was a real guy,
while 20% thought Winston Churchill was not.
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Before his writing career took off, Dan Brown was a singer/songwriter.
His second album was titled Angels & Demons.
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During a 1956 speech for his campaign of de-Stalinization,
Soviet leader Nikita Khrushchev was asked by an unseen audience member why,
as an advisor to the dictator, he had never stopped Stalin from committing his atrocities.
Khrushchev immediately lashed out, “Who said that?”
The room grew quiet.
Khrushchev repeated his query to more silence, waited a beat,
and then said, “Well, now you understand why.”
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The first US President to earn a PhD was Woodrow Wilson.
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The U.K.’s police headquarters, Scotland Yard,
is not (and never was) located in Scotland.
Scotland Yard was originally a palace
where Scottish royalty stayed when visiting London.
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Wendy’s founder, Dave Thomas,
used to work for Kentucky Fried Chicken.
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The first VCR, developed by the Ampex Corporation in 1956,
weighed nearly 1,500 lbs.
It took another 15 years before a commercially viable product hit the scene.
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The Vatican Bank is the world’s only bank
that allows ATM users to perform transactions in Latin.
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The municipal government of Paris passed a resolution
to prohibit Tom Cruise from becoming an honorary citizen of the city.
For them it was ‘une mission impossible!’
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Only one U.S. coin
— the zinc-coated steel penny produced during World War II —
can be picked up by a magnet.
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During the Vietnam War, the Viet Cong hid IEDs in empty soda cans
because they observed that US Soldiers enjoyed kicking empty cans
while marching down the road.
Warning to the politicians perhaps who recently
have done little else but kick the can down the road.
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Simon Bolivar is the only person in the world
to have two sovereign nations named after him:
Bolivia
and
Venezuela
(the country’s full name is Bolivarian Republic of Venezuela).
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At the 1960 Winter Olympic Games,
Walt Disney was Chairman of the Pageantry Committee
that was responsible for producing both
the opening and closing ceremonies.
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Butterflies range in size from a tiny 1/8 inch to a huge almost 12 inches.
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After racking up a $40 late fee on a VHS copy of Apollo 13,
Reed Hastings was inspired to start Netflix
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Banging your head against a wall uses 150 calories an hour.
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The most Academy Awards (Oscars) won by a woman was eight,
by Edith Head, all for Costume Design
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Black-eyed peas aren’t peas, but beans,
and also a famous American hip hop group.
And coffee beans aren’t beans, but seeds.
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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As the title suggests today there are a lot of questions concerning countries.
But don’t worry, they are related to different subjects, not necessarily geography.
And there is the usual random selection to go along with them, so why not have a go?
As usual the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but NO cheating!
Enjoy the challenge.
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Q. 1: In Venice, what is a ‘vaporetto’?
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Q. 2: What is the difference between venom and poison?
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Q. 3: Which country appeared in a record 23 consecutive Davis Cup finals between 1946 and 1968?
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Q. 4: ‘Milk’, ‘Oyster’, ‘Magic’, ‘Death Cap’, ‘Hedgehog’, ‘Maitake’ and ‘Paddy Straw‘ are all examples of what?
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Q. 5: What are the five largest countries in the world with a population density of 15 people or less per square mile? (One point for each correct answer.)
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Q. 6: Kurgan is the bad guy in which movie?
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Q. 7: How many rows of stars are there on an American flag?
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Q. 8: The name of which world famous ship translated means ‘short chemise’ or ‘short undergarment’?
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Q. 9: Which country is the largest wine producer in South America?
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Q. 10: Campanology is very popular on festive occasions. What is campanology?
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Q. 11: What was designed by Childe Harold Wills and was colloquially known as the “Tin Lizzie” and the “Flivver”?
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Q. 12: ‘Trapper’, ‘Hawkeye’ and ‘Radar’ appear in which TV program?
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Q. 13: What does the Greek root ‘adelph’ mean?
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Q. 14: What was the name of the 1783 treaty that formally ended the American Revolutionary War?
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Q. 15: The answer to this one is just three letters and they mean a river of southern Italy, an Indo-Chinese language and the initials of a very popular and long running American police procedural legal drama television series, What are the three letters?
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Q. 16: How many normal size wine bottles would you have in a Methuselah?
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Q. 17: What would the waiter bring to your table if you ordered ‘priest choker’ in an Italian restaurant?
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Q. 18: Which accurate sport term is also the name of Bill Sikes’ vicious dog in the novel ‘Oliver Twist’?
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Q. 19: What number do the Roman numerals ‘XL’ represent?
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Q. 20: And finally, spell that atrocious and precocious word from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’.
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: In Venice, what is a ‘vaporetto’?
A. 1: A ‘vaporetto’ is a Venetian Waterbus
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Q. 2: What is the difference between venom and poison?
A. 2: Venom is injected, poison is ingested or inhaled.
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Q. 3: Which country appeared in a record 23 consecutive Davis Cup finals between 1946 and 1968?
A. 3: Australia
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Q. 4: ‘Milk’, ‘Oyster’, ‘Magic’, ‘Death Cap’, ‘Hedgehog’, ‘Maitake’ and ‘Paddy Straw’ are all examples of what?
A. 4: Mushrooms
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Q. 5: What are the five largest countries in the world with a population density of 15 people or less per square mile? (One point for each correct answer.)
A. 5: Mongolia (4 people per sq. mile), Canada (8), Australia (8), Libya (9) and Kazakhstan (15)
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Q. 6: Kurgan is the bad guy in which movie?
A. 6: Highlander
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Q. 7: How many rows of stars are there on an American flag?
A. 7: 9
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Q. 8: The name of which world famous ship translated means ‘short chemise’ or ‘short undergarment’?
A. 8: Cutty Sark
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Q. 9: Which country is the largest wine producer in South America?
A. 9: Argentina
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Q. 10: Campanology is very popular on festive occasions. What is campanology?
A. 10: Bell ringing.
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Q. 11: What was designed by Childe Harold Wills and was colloquially known as the “Tin Lizzie” and the “Flivver”?
A. 11: The Ford Model-T automobile
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Q. 12: ‘Trapper’, ‘Hawkeye’ and ‘Radar’ appear in which TV program?
A. 12: M*A*S*H
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Q. 13: What does the Greek root ‘adelph’ mean?
A. 13: Brother (as in Philadelphia, the city of brotherly love)
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Q. 14: What was the name of the 1783 treaty that formally ended the American Revolutionary War?
A. 14: The Treaty of Paris
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Q. 15: The answer to this one is just three letters and they mean a river of southern Italy, an Indo-Chinese language and the initials of a very popular and long running American police procedural legal drama television series, What are the three letters?
A. 15: LAO (Law and Order)
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Q. 16: How many normal size wine bottles would you have in a Methuselah?
A. 16: 8
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Q. 17: What would the waiter bring to your table if you ordered ‘priest choker’ in an Italian restaurant?
A. 17: Pasta (Strozzapreti pasta, means ‘priest choker’)
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Q. 18: Which accurate sport term is also the name of Bill Sikes’ vicious dog in the novel ‘Oliver Twist’?
A. 18: Bulls Eye
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Q. 19: What number do the Roman numerals ‘XL’ represent?
A. 19: 40
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Q. 20: And finally, spell that atrocious and precocious word from the movie ‘Mary Poppins’.
A. 20: SUPERCALIFRAGILISTICEXPIALIDOCIOUS
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fasab 