“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Yes, another day to play with words, or on words, or perhaps a bit of both.
Whatever you think is more appropriate, enjoy!
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“Welcome to the society of people scared of decimal numbers.”
“I’m glad I managed to round you all up”
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Two communists in a nudist camp.
One says to other “have you read marx comrade?”
The other replied “Yes I think its the wicker furniture.”
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The photocopier in my office broke.
So I called in my secretary, Tracey.
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It might be me, but I just can’t think
of a better word to describe myself.
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Norman Bates, motel, shower, stab, blood,
Alfred Hitchcock, secretary, mother, knife,
Janet Leigh, bank, steal.
That’s just Psychobabble.
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When I worked at the funfair I used to think
that life was all swings and roundabouts.
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I went crazy after I couldn’t open the new door I’d just fitted.
In hindsight I should have handled it better.
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My teacher asked me to name all the presidents,
which is ridiculous as they already have names.
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I had a scary moment when I was taking the packaging off
my expensive new bookcase with a sharp knife.
I damn near slit my shelf.
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My wife couldn’t believe she got sacked for
misplacing the company’s new storefront sign.
She’s lost four words.
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Someone just robbed me and stole my watch.
I would have chased them,
but I didn’t have the time.
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It’s the final of the Microwave Challenge Contest tonight.
Things will get heated.
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My English teacher accused me of plagiarizing everything I write.
I didn’t make this up.
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Hollywood producers are in talks with Dustin Hoffman
to star in a film about a Zulu warrior who dresses as a woman
to try and make it as an actor.
They’re going to call it Tutsi.
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Workers protested at a bread factory
in France because of their low income.
Their manager comes up and says,
“No pain, no gain.”
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I used to own a laxatives company.
Business was hard at first and it was eventually liquidated.
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“Well we’re not getting on your big boat.”
the two Unicorns told Noah.
It was anarchy.
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Just bought a really basic pair of shears.
They’re not cutting hedge anyway.
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I did some work experience at a drug rehab centre.
They were very thorough: they left no intern stoned.
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The last wedding I was invited to went off without a hitch.
The groom didn’t turn up.
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