A Manic Monday Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

A manic Monday quiz it is indeed.

Twenty questions covering the usual wide range of subjects, so hopefully there will be one or two that you find easy and one or two that you find a lot more difficult.

But remember, as always if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

.

quiz confused1

.

Q.  1:  According to a survey conducted by Citrix, what percentage of people thought that stormy weather affects cloud computing?

            a) 1%           b) 15%           c) 51%           d) 85%

.

.

Q.  2:  What city is known as ‘The Harbor City’ ?

.

.

Q.  3:  What is another name for the prairie wolf?

.

.

Q.  4:  If your boss cuts your salary by 10% but offers to let you work 10% more to make up for it, should you accept?

.

.

Q.  5:  Six men are widely accepted to be the Founding Fathers of the United States of America. What were their names? (You get a point for each correctly named and a bonus point if can correctly name all six.)

.

.

Q.  6:  A follow-up question to # 5, which one of these Founding Fathers once wrote a scientific piece called ‘Fart Proudly’ ?

.

.

Q.  7:  What percentage of the Earth’s volcanoes are underwater?

            a) 10 %           b) 30 %           c) 50 %           d) 70 %           e) 90 %

.

.

Q.  8:  In Greek mythology who attempted to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax, but flew too close to the Sun and perished when the wax melted?

.

.

Q.  9:  And when we’re on the subject of flying, what area code would you use if you wanted to call the Kennedy Space Center in Florida?

.

.

Q. 10:  What do you call the three sides of a right-angled triangle? (Hint, you get zero points for answering ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’.)

.

.

Q. 11:  This one is the name of a famous Shakespeare tragedy and a multiplayer board game based on the popular game Reversi. What is it?

.

.

Q. 12:  What nationality is the famous musician Richard Clayderman and what instrument is associated with him? (A point for each correct answer.)

.

.

Q. 13:  ‘Equatorial’, ‘Gulf Stream’ and ‘Humboldt’ are names give to what?

.

.

Q. 14:  Russians consume about 6 times as much what as Americans?

            a) milk           b) coffee           c) tea           d) beer            e) spirits

.

.

Q. 15:  Which paper format has the largest area, the ‘International A4’ as used for example in the UK or the ‘Letter’ format used in the United States?

.

.

Q. 16:  There are seven main weight divisions used in professional boxing, what are they? (You get a point for each one you can name correctly and three bonus points if you get all seven correct.)

.

.

Q. 17:  What is the link between something to eat, something to drink, somewhere to go and something to call your daughter?

.

.

Q. 18:  What was the name of the cat that survived the sinking of the Bismark, HMS Cossack and HMS Ark Royal? 

            a) Kit Kat            b) Wet Willie            c) Unsinkable Sam

.

.

Q. 19:  What is the largest country in South America (a) by area and (b) by size of population? (A point for each correct answer.)

.

.

Q. 20:  Who had a ‘Manic Monday’ and went on to ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ ?

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

ANSWERS

.

Q.  1:  According to a survey conducted by Citrix, what percentage of people thought that stormy weather affects cloud computing?

            a) 1%           b) 15%           c) 51%           d) 85%

A.  1:  Unbelievably the correct answer is c) 51%.

.

.

Q.  2:  What city is known as ‘The Harbor City’ ?

A.  2:  Sydney, Australia.

.

.

Q.  3:  What is another name for the prairie wolf?

A.  3:  Coyote.

.

.

Q.  4:  If your boss cuts your salary by 10% but offers to let you work 10% more to make up for it, should you accept?

A.  4:  You should NOT accept the offer. This is a percentage question. For example, if you made $10 per hour, a 10% cut in your salary would leave you with $9 per hour. Adding 10% back would only be 10% of $9, or 90 cents so you would end up with only $9.90.

.

.

Q.  5:  Six men are widely accepted to be the Founding Fathers of the United States of America. What were their names? (You get a point for each correctly named and a bonus point if can correctly name all six.)

A.  5:  The six men are widely accepted to be the Founding Fathers of the United States of America are George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton and, of course, Benjamin Franklin.

.

.

Q.  6:  A follow-up question to # 5, which one of these Founding Fathers once wrote a scientific piece called ‘Fart Proudly’ ?

A.  6:  Benjamin Franklin wrote a scientific piece called Fart Proudly. It was all about farts.

.

.

Q.  7:  What percentage of the Earth’s volcanoes are underwater?

            a) 10 %           b) 30 %           c) 50 %           d) 70 %           e) 90 %

A.  7:  The correct answer is e) 90% of all volcanoes are underwater.

.

.

Q.  8:  In Greek mythology who attempted to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax, but flew too close to the Sun and perished when the wax melted?

A.  8:  Icarus.

.

.

Q.  9:  And when we’re on the subject of flying, what area code would you use if you wanted to call the Kennedy Space Center in Florida?

A.  9:  The telephone area code for the Kennedy Space Center in Florida is ‘321’ which imitates the countdown before liftoff. It was assigned to the area, instead of suburban Chicago in November 1999 after a successful petition led by local resident Robert Osband. Try it out, call the Kennedy Space Center on (321) 867-5000.

.

.

Q. 10:  What do you call the three sides of a right-angled triangle? (Hint, you get zero points for answering ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’.)

A. 10:  They are called ‘opposite’, ‘adjacent’ and ‘hypotenuse’.

.

.

Q. 11:  This one is the name of a famous Shakespeare tragedy and a multiplayer board game based on the popular game Reversi. What is it?

A. 11:  Othello.

.

.

Q. 12:  What nationality is the famous musician Richard Clayderman and what instrument is associated with him? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 12:  Richard Clayderman is French and he is a pianist.

 .

.

Q. 13:  ‘Equatorial’, ‘Gulf Stream’ and ‘Humboldt’ are names give to what?

A. 13:  Ocean currents.

.

.

Q. 14:  Russians consume about 6 times as much what as Americans?

            a) milk           b) coffee           c) tea           d) beer            e) spirits

A. 14:  The correct answer is c) tea, Russians also consume about 6 times as much tea as Americans.

.

.

Q. 15:  Which paper format has the largest area, the ‘International A4’ as used for example in the UK or the ‘Letter’ format used in the United States?

A. 15:  A4 has the largest area. (A4 is 210 mm (8.25”) wide and 297 mm (11.75”) long or 62,370 m2, and US Letter is 216 mm (8.5”) wide by 279 mm (11”) long or 60,264 m2.)

.

.

Q. 16:  There are seven main weight divisions used in professional boxing, what are they? (You get a point for each one you can name correctly and three bonus points if you get all seven correct.)

A. 16:  Although modern additions have been added, the seven main weight divisions used in professional boxing are ‘Flyweight’, ‘Bantamweight’, ‘Featherweight’, ‘Lightweight’, ‘Welterweight’, ‘Middleweight’ and ‘Heavyweight’.

.

.

Q. 17:  What is the link between something to eat, something to drink, somewhere to go and something to call your daughter?

A. 17:  Margarita.

.

.

Q. 18:  What was the name of the cat that survived the sinking of the Bismark, HMS Cossack and HMS Ark Royal? 

            a) Kit Kat            b) Wet Willie            c) Unsinkable Sam

A. 18:  The correct answer is c) Unsinkable Sam.

.

.

Q. 19:  What is the largest country in South America (a) by area and (b) by size of population? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 19:  The correct answers are (a) Brazil with an area of 8,514,877 Km2, and (b) Brazil with a population of more than 195.5 million.

.

.

Q. 20:  Who had a ‘Manic Monday’ and went on to ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ ?

A. 20:  The Bangles.

.

.

================================

.

Ugh, Communism Just Has No Class.

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Communism may have no class but clever word play certainly does.

That’s our cue for another Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

I’m against picketing,

but I don’t know how to show it.

against picketing

.

.

I saw a man walking along the street

with a t-shirt that said ‘Free Hugs’.

I don’t know who ‘Hugs’ is,

but I’m sure they should release him.

t-shirt 'Free Hugs'

.

.

I went for a job interview at 

my local sandwich shop today.

As an aptitude test, the shop owner

asked me to make a beef sandwich

using only a spoon.

Unfortunately I didn’t get the job

– I couldn’t cut the mustard.

sandwich shop

 

.

.

A committee is a group of people

who keep minutes and lose hours.

A committee

.

.

I was given the sack at work last month.

I suppose you have to expect that

when you play Santa Clause.

play Santa Clause

.

.

I can’t speak for anyone else,

but I think I’m a terrible ventriloquist.

terrible ventriloquist

.

.

My girlfriend talked me into putting

table salt into my bath today.

I think I’ve been brine washed.

table salt into my bath

.

.

I saw a strange white bear at the zoo today.

It was mating with a female bear then it

suddenly it tried mating with a male bear.

I think it’s Bi Polar.

white bear at the zoo

.

.

Never employ someone who’s obsessed with graphs.

They’ll always be plotting behind your back.

graph

.

.

I got a real telling off yesterday

when we were visiting grandma.

She has a very hairy upper lip

and when we were leaving, she asked

me why I wouldn’t kiss her good bye.

Apparently my answer, “Sorry, must-dash,”

wasn’t the best choice of words.

hairy upper lip

.

.

How does an angry Muslim close a door?

Islams it.

door slam

.

.

I’ve just seen a sign in the post office that said

“Stamps sold by the book”.

It’s good to know that someone follows the rules.

book of stamps

.

.

I decided to open an

exclusive hotel and casino

for people who have epilepsy.

It’s called Seizure’s Palace.

Seizure's Palace

.

.

I went to the pet shop to buy some breeding birds.

The cashier said, “Have you got a store card?”

I said, “No but I did get a budgie excited once.”

pet shop

.

.

My friend has just rung to say

he’s bought a bubble car.

He’s going to pop round in it later.

bubble car

.

=====================================

.

“I Think,” Said The Sweet Potato, “Therefore I Yam.”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
.
Well today I yam the poster of more puns.
Keep your groans handy, you might need ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
rofl.

.
You can say what you like

about freedom of speech.

freedom_of_speech_in_europe

.
.
I would love to dance at a metric party,

but I have two left 0.305 meters.

Meter-to-Foot-conversion
.
.
Waiters are good at multiplication

because they know their tables.

waiter
.
.
I accidentally grabbed a

live electric cable yesterday.

It really Hertz.

live electric cable
.
.
Capital punishment.

capital PUNISHMENT
.
.
I used to work at a car garage

that had a jet wash.

It was pointless,

there was nowhere for them to land.

airplane washing
.
.
I got a 24 hour clock from

a garage sale for only 10/c.

They’ll be so mad,

it’s lasted far longer.

24 hour clock
.
.
I’m in court accused of the murders of

Dracula and Monte Cristo.

I’m pleading guilty to both Counts.

Dracula and Monte Cristo
.
.
There’s a Muslim in the street carrying a gun.

Police say he’s Ahmed and dangerous.

Ahmed and dangerous
.
.
My ex girlfriend text to say that

she’d made a voodoo doll of me.

I think she’s pulling my leg.

Voodoo-doll
.
.
I used to have a job in the police force,

in which I’d break into secure

computer files to uncover criminal activity.

That was until I was met by one system

that proved I wasn’t up to the job.

I just couldn’t hack it.

hacker

.
.
Driving home, I noticed I had a

police car right up my ass.

Must have a word with my nephew

about leaving his toys lying around.

toy-police-car
.
.
I’d been worrying about my

geography exam for a long time.

When I sat down to take it,

the first question read;

“What is the correct term for any wind that

blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?”

I don’t know what I was worried about.

It was a breeze.

breeze
.
.
I was so nervous when I met my

future father-in-law that i blurted out,

“Sir, May I have your daughters

hole in handy matrimony?”

met my future father-in-law
.
.
What do you call a bunch of

kleptomaniacs with musical instruments?

A Steal Band.
.


.
============================================
.

“No Credit. Bad Credit. All Credit. 100 Percent Approval.”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

We had it with the real estate market. Billions of dollars being lent to people who obviously couldn’t afford it.

We saw the trouble, hardship, misery and financial woes that were caused as credit dried up, real estate prices began to tumble, and bankruptcies and foreclosures increased.

And we know the damage it did to the economy when irresponsible banks and other lenders went bust and almost brought down the entire financial system. 

Smart people would learn from such a situation.

Smart people would never contemplate doing such a thing again.

But despite what they would like to have you believe, bankers are not smart people. They’re dumb and they are greedy, a deadly combination.

bad credit 100 percent financing

As a result of the financial crisis millions of Americans (and people in other countries too) have been left with poor credit scores. Yet remarkably they are now able to easily obtain auto loans from used-car dealers, including some who fabricate or ignore borrowers’ abilities to repay. Even if you are bankrupt or living only on social security, banks like Wells Fargo will lend you thousands of dollars to buy a used car.

It’s called the new sub-prime boom, because the lack of caution resembles the frenzied sub-prime mortgage market before its collapse. And it is already bringing misery to many people who have been suckered into taking out loans that they clearly could not afford.

Worse than that, these sub-prime auto loans often come with terms that take advantage of the most desperate, least financially sophisticated customers, with interest rates that can exceed 20 percent. And many of the loans can be at least twice the value of the second hand cars they are being used to purchase!

wall street car crash

This creates a vicious circle for some borrowers, who still owe money on a car that they are trading in when they purchase another one, meaning that the former debt is rolled over into the new loan and they end up, not just paying too much for their current car, but also continue to pay off the loan on their previous car that they don’t even have!

This is the way loan sharks operate. Eventually you end up borrowing your own money and paying them interest for the privilege!

This surge in sub-prime auto lending is being driven by some of the same dynamics that were at work in sub-prime mortgages. There is a veritable deluge of money pouring into sub-prime autos, as the high rates and steady profits of the loans attract investors.

And just as Wall Street stoked the boom in mortgages, some of the nation’s biggest banks and private equity firms are now feeding the growth in sub-prime auto loans by investing in lenders and making money available for loans.

To quote some of the figures, auto loans to people with bad credit have risen more than 130 percent in the five years since the immediate aftermath of the financial crisis, with roughly one in four new auto loans last year going to borrowers considered sub-prime, that is, people with credit scores at or below 640. Wells Fargo, mentioned earlier, made $7.8 billion in auto loans in the second quarter of this year, up 9 percent from a year earlier, and has at least $50 billion in auto loans on its books.

greedy bankers

Even worse, as was the case with sub-prime mortgages before the financial crisis, many sub-prime auto loans are being bundled up into complex bonds and sold as securities by banks to insurance companies, mutual funds and public pension funds. They are all scrambling for these, which in turn creates ever-greater demand for loans, and leads to the banks issuing more and more sub-prime credit.

Unbelievably it’s the same crooks doing exactly the same thing, including using incorrect information about borrowers’ income and employment, so that people who had lost their jobs, or were bankrupt, or living on Social Security, could qualify for loans that they could never afford.

carbuying credit report

Admittedly, the size of the sub-prime auto loan market is only a tiny fraction of the sub-prime mortgage market at its peak, and its implosion would not have the same far-reaching consequences.

For the banks the investors silly enough to buy their bonds, that is.

But the misery is just as great for the people who are suckered into accepting credit they cannot afford.

Illegal it may not be, but immoral it certainly is.

Political leaders who sit astride high horses and purport to be working on behalf of the ordinary people should be doing something about it.

But, as I’ve said before, don’t hold your breath!

obama used car salesman

.

====================================================

.

I’d Say 6:30 Is The Best Clock Time, Hands Down.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

And the best time for puns is today!

By the way, no liability accepted, so try not to hurt yourselves laughing.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

I threw out my vacuum cleaner last week.

It was just gathering dust.

vacuum cleaner

.

.

I work for the hospital dealing with

moving patients between different areas.

It’s a rewarding job.

moving patients

.

.

I’ve had to break up with my imaginary girlfriend.

I’ve started seeing someone else.

my imaginary girlfriend

.

.

My wife always cooks our Christmas Ham in a bottle of wine.

I have no idea how she gets it in there, but it tastes brilliant.

Christmas Ham

.

.

What’s the difference between ‘Approximately’ and ‘Roughly’?

Men are never accused of treating women approximately.

Approximately Roughly

.

.

After battling for years to overcome

my addiction to alcohol gel,

I’m finally clean.

alcohol gel

.

.

Grandad was talking about getting

a hip replacement for my Grandma.

“Someone younger and trendier,” he said,

“Like Megan Fox or Mila Kunis.”

Megan Fox

.

.

I wasn’t always into peer pressure……

My friends got me into it.

peer pressure

.

.

Ever since I took the rear view mirror out of the car

…..I’ve never looked back

the rear view mirror

.

.

I sat down on the settee today to relax and watch a bit of football,

but the picture on the telly was so terrible I couldn’t bear it.

I hate wedding photos.

wedding photos

.

.

I typed an essay in Word about a concerned Bugs Bunny.

I then saved it as ‘Whats Up.doc’

whats-up-doc

.

.

If you like wordplay jokes about pissing

then urine for a treat.

jokes about pissing

.

.

I’ve been offered a job by the government’s Department of New Words.

It’s a fantastic opporchancity.

opporchancity

.

.

I’ve just opened a casino for dogs.

They can play roulette, poker, blackjack

and a host of other games all under one roof.

They have to go outside for craps though.

dogs_poker

.

.

Finally for this week,

and with a certain blog friend in mind,

what did the three campanologists who

fell off a bridge in Paris, France start playing?

“I’m ringing in the Seine, just ringing in the Seine…”

.

.

=========================================

.

Golf: Putting The Putting Into Putting!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

As if you didn’t know from the title – it’s pun day again!

More word play jokes to be enjoyed or endured depending on your taste.

Try them out.

And enjoy!

.

rofl

.

My wife and I were happy for 25 years.

Then we met.

wife-husband-cartoon(3)

.

.

I went for an audition the other day.

They were casting 13 people to be clouds.

14 showed up.

It was overcast.

films-standing_in_line-stands-queues-audition-auditioning-tzun414l

.

.

Billy: “Did you that movie yesterday where

the actress that was stabbed by a psycho?

Reese…what’s her name?”

Tommy: “Witherspoon?”

Billy: “No with a knife.”

Reese Witherspoon

.

.

Have you ever had an accident at work?

Yes, my secretary is pregnant.

secretary pregnant

.

.

Rats are under rated.

Just check your dictionary.

dictionary rat

.

.

I woke up this morning and there was a bloke stealing my gate.

I didn’t want to say anything in case he took a fence.

Fence Main

.

.

The fattest man in Britain has recently relocated

from Bath to Poole as he ‘needs more living space’.

bath

.

.

Some terms are really misleading.

I went into the changing room several times.

It was still the same.

Changing-Room-Door

.

.

I used to feed gorillas at the Zoo from a distance using a golf club.

I’d drive them bananas.

monkey_likes_banana_golf_ball

.

.

I was asked to describe my life in a nut shell.

“Very dark and cramped,” I replied.

Nutshell

.

.

I lost my watch earlier.

I would have looked for it but I didn’t have the time.

Watch

.

.

My friend Daniel wouldn’t believe me when

I told him that his name was an anagram.

He’s in denial.

denial

.

.

I was going to start taking self defense lessons

but I decided on a math class instead.

I’m a firm believer there’s safety in numbers.

sums25eq

.

.

I saw a billboard on the way to work this

morning that read “Future Events.”

Well, that’s a sign of things to come.

Future_Events

.

.

A Zulu walking through the jungle comes across a pygmy standing over a dead lion.

“Did you kill that lion?” asks the Zulu.

“Yeah, I beat it to death with my club,” the pygmy replies.

“Wow, you must have a big club,” says the Zulu.

“Yes,” replies the pygmy. “There’s about thirty of us.” 

pygmy

.

======================================

.