“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
According to the dictionary, a pun is the humorous use of a word or phrase so as to emphasize or suggest its different meanings or applications, or the use of words that are alike or nearly alike in sound but different in meaning; a play on words.
I like puns. Sometimes they can be quite clever and humorous. At other times they can lead to an excruciatingly bad joke, although the worse they are the funnier they seem to be. Strange thing humor.
I have a load of examples in the archives. Here are some to give you a taste of what may be in store.
Enjoy, (I hope)…
The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference.
He acquired his size from too much pi.
I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island,
but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
She was only a whiskey maker,
but he loved her still.
No matter how much you push the envelope,
it’ll still be stationery.
Would a grenade thrown into a kitchen in France result in
Two silk worms had a race.
They ended up in a tie.
A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall.
The police are looking into it.
Time flies like an arrow.
Fruit flies like a banana.
Apparently Mitt Romney donated the entirety of his inheritance from his father to the Brigham Young University. Is this guy a Moron?
Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway.
One hat said to the other, “You stay here; I’ll go on a head.”
I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger.
Then it hit me.
A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said:
“Keep off the Grass.”
The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison
was a small medium at large.
The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray
is now a seasoned veteran.
A backward poet writes inverse.
In a democracy it’s your vote that counts…
In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
When cannibals ate a missionary,
did they get a taste of religion?
If you jumped off the bridge in Paris ,
you’d be in Seine.
A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons.
The stewardess looks at him and says,
“I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion per passenger.”
Did you hear about the Buddhist who refused Novocain during a root canal?
His goal: transcend dental medication.
Two hydrogen atoms meet.
One says, “I’ve lost my electron.”
The other says, “Are you sure?”
The first replies, “Yes, I’m positive.”
8 thoughts on “Puns For The Educated Mind”
Many good one … but hey … when I saw my fav on the list – I knew I couldn’t add it in the comment. 😦 … TIme, the arrow, and the banana.
Thanks for commenting. I guess the only thing I can say is that there are no flies on you!!!
cannibal, seasoned veteran,police…ahaha! they’re all funny though
Glad you enjoyed them and thanks for commenting.
You know, reading this list, I realised you missed three of Arthur’s less well-known knights. There was Sir Osis of Liver. And the knight who always had a beef – Sir Loin. Then there was the knight who threw all the parties – Sir Prise.
But hey, then there was the Catholic priest who was elevated to canon. His young boy was heard to say “I’ll be a son of a gun”.
Then there was the guy I used to re-enact with, who had a vasectomy, just to make sure he was always shooting blanks! (Apologies if that’s the kind of losing horse running near the rail – an inside joke.)
Insert aggravated scream here……
I’m rather fond of Sir Loin. As for your friend, I think we’re all experiencing a severe cut in the private sector at the moment.
Glad you enjoyed them. There’s more on the way next week all being well.