If It Wasn’t For Blinds It Would Be Curtains For All Of Us.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Thankfully it isn’t curtains for Pun Day either.

Here is another selection for you to….

Enjoy or endure!

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I bought a herb plant today.

It’s in great condition.

It’s mint.

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I missed my miniature Indian musical

instrument practice last night.

I couldn’t find a baby sitar.

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Q.S.V.X.X.

The National Society

of Bad Abbreviators.

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I can’t seem to get on the Lilt website.

It keeps saying it’s refreshing!

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I went to the doctor’s today.

He said, “You’re dying.”

I said, “How do you know?”

He said, “Your eyebrows are a different color.”

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Have you ever wondered what

happened to the first Timbuk?

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Saw a man this morning wheel spinning in the snow

not really getting anywhere. He was furious.

Shouting, swearing, going absolutely mental.

He needs to get a grip, I thought to myself.

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I was almost late for my Cocaine Awareness lecture.

Talk about cutting it fine.

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Know who I blame for the rise of drugs in schools?

The supply teachers.

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Nine of my mum’s sisters have been standing

outside the Church all night holding candles.

You can’t beat vigil aunties.

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I’ve just bought a new sub-zero refrigerator.

How cool is that?

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I went to an Italian restaurant

and they had spaghetti on the menu.

So I had to call the waiter to wipe it off.

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I never apologize.

I’m sorry,

but that’s just the way I am.

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My therapist isn’t being very supportive

because she thinks I’m never going to be able

to stop exposing myself to women.

Well I’ll show her.

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My boss asked me to find him a bulldog clip today.

So I emailed him a YouTube video of one riding a skateboard.

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Let’s Have Some More Pun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for a few more puns for those of you who like a bit of word play, or just enjoy some bad jokes dressed up as clever stuff.

Enjoy.

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You know prices are rising when you buy a winter jacket and even down is up.

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I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn’t click.

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Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.          

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The indecisive rower couldn’t choose either oar.

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5000 hares have escaped from the zoo.

The police are combing the area.

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The blind guy was sure he could master braille once he got a feel for it.

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The trailer for the movie was produced without a hitch!

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Did you hear about the beautiful but strict high school teacher?

She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils!

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down.

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Scientist one: “I’m going to try to clone myself.”

Scientist two: “Now wouldn’t that be just like you!”

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Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

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I’m inclined to be laid back.

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I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.      

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Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.

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My wife tells me I’m a skeptic – but I don’t believe a word she says.        

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In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was real.

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A pun about a monorail always makes for a decent one-liner!

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And finally, did you hear about the girl who got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun?

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