Make Sure You Smile – It’s Fact Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s not that the facts today are particularly funny, in fact some of them are the exact opposite.

But if you are in Milan and reading this post I bet you are smiling anyway.

Find out why.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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Trakr, a German shepherd survivor detection dog,

made history when he became the dog that found the

last survivor of the World Trade Center attack on September 11.

For his accomplishments, Trakr was named

one of history’s most heroic animals by Time.

Trakr died in 2009 at age fourteen.

Trakr, a German shepherd survivor detection dog, made history when he became the dog that found the last survivor of the World Trade Center attack on September 11

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75% of the world’s population

speaks more than one language,

but 75% of the world’s population

speak no English.

Homer Simpson English

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Having a pet makes you happier

because petting an animal

releases oxytocin in our brains,

which is sometimes known as

the “cuddle hormone”.

cuddle hormone oxytocin

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The eyes blink on an average of

17 times per minute,

that’s 14,280 times per day

or 5.2 million times a year.

obama-blink

 

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In the early Middle Ages,

Europeans divided the day

into seven hours of equal length and,

because summer days are longer than winter ones,

a winter hour was about sixty minutes,

but a summer one was about 150 minutes.

A little bit confusing I think.

Middle Ages, Europeans divided the day into seven hours of equal length

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Trampolines contribute to at least

two deaths and numerous serious injuries

each year.

Trampoline

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Giacomo Casanova was an 18th century

Italian adventurer and nobleman famous for

his numerous elaborate affairs with women.

Today, if a man is referred to as a ‘Casanova’,

it can mean anything from an

attentive seducer to a mere lecher.

Giacomo Casanova

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In January 2012, dozens of turtles

were found dead in Keystone Heights, Florida,

at the end of Pinon Road.

No one, including the

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission,

has been able to figure out what happened.  

turtle deaths unexplained

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The most powerful non-nuclear bomb

ever created by the US military is the

Massive Ordinance Air Blast bomb,

better known as ‘MOAB’.

It is also more popularly known as

the “Mother of All Bombs”.

Mother of All Bombs

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Charles Dickens’s house had a secret door

in the form of a fake bookcase.

The fake books on its shelves included

titles such as ‘The Life of a Cat’

in 9 volumes of course.

bookshelves-hidden-door

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Ford’s F-150 has been the best-selling

vehicle in America for the past 33 years

and the best-selling truck since 1977.

Ford have sold over 34,000,000 of them

since they started production in 1948.

Last year alone they sold 753,851,

which is an incredible 2,065 a day,

or one every 35 seconds.

If you parked every Ford F-150

ever made side by side,

they would stretch for 49,802 miles (80,150 km),

the equivalent to twice around the Equator.

Ford F150

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The first black astronaut was Robert Henry Lawrence Jr.,

but he died before he could travel to space.

The first black astronaut in space

(spending more then 28 days there)

was Guion Bluford in 1983.

He was inducted into the

International Space Hall of Fame in 1997 and into

the United States Astronaut Hall of Fame in 2010.

Guion Bluford first black astronaut in space

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The world’s greatest disaster suffered

as a result of animal attacks on humans

happened on Ramree Island during WWII.

The island is infested with saltwater crocodiles

and nearly 500 Japanese troops were eaten alive there.

The-Crocodile-Massacre-of-Ramree-Island

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When Star Wars: A New Hope was

first being shown in movie theaters

France was still executing people by guillotine.

guillotine

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Ending today’s facts on a happy note,

if you want to visit Milan, Italy,

make sure to smile all the time as the

Italian city has imposed a ban on frowning.

It is a legal requirement to smile at all times,

except during funerals or hospital visits.

If you don’t you can face a fine.

Milan

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Maths Puns Are The First Sine Of Madness.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I wonder what the second sine is?

But let’s not go off at a tangent.

Let’s just enjoy another Pun Day instead.

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rofl

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The first rule of Innuendo Club is

you can only enter via the back door.

 please use back door

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I’ve been sitting here all day trying to

think of anagrams of the word ‘wired’

but I can only think of one.

Which is weird.

 

weird

 

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This morning my physiotherapist

tapped my knee with a plastic hammer

and made my leg jerk.

The nerve.

 knee tapped with a plastic hammer

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Are people who believe in

ghosts very ghoulable?

 ghost

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No matter how much you push the envelope,

it’ll still be stationery.

 push the envelope

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My friend was arrested for drunk driving

on a motorized shopping cart at WalMart.

Apparently he led the police on a chase

that reached 90 aisles per hour.

 motorized shopping cart

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“All you ever talk about is golf!”

My wife shouted.

“Golf, golf and more bloody golf!”

“Calm down love,” I said.

“Don’t let this driver wedge between us.”

 golf

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I went to buy pork chops and told

the butcher to make them lean.

He said, ‘Which way?’

 pork chops cartoon

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Many scientists agree the only way to solve

the planet’s worsening energy crisis

is for the whole world to convert to solar power.

That’s not going to happen overnight.

 solar power

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I was the first person to install trampolines

in musician’s tour buses and now

everybody is jumping on the bandwagon.

 trampoline

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I said to my blind date, “I actually take

a plane to work and back every single day.”

“Wow, you must be wealthy.” She said.

“Everything but,” I replied,

“I’m just a carpenter.”

 carpenter's plane

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I bumped into the guy

who invented the globe.

It’s a small world.

 globe

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Why did the poet kill himself

by walking into the road?

Because he thought there

was nothing left to right.

 walking into the road

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I never thought I’d buy into Feng Shui.

But oh how the tables have turned.

 feng-shui-color-chart

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I was in a music group

called ‘Illegal imports’.

We were a contraband.

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Check This One Out: 1

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Once again the clue to today’s post was in the title.

And since you checked the one in the title out why not check the rest of them out too.

Here is the latest selection of puns for you to endure or hopefully, enjoy.

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Tell you what floats my boat.

Water.

my boat

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What do houseflies and Mac users have in common?

Neither of them understand how Windows work.

flies

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Is it true that an apple a day keeps the doctor away…

or is it just one of Granny’s myths?

apple_green_clipart

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I for one…

…but that’s Roman numerals for you.

IV

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I knew a guy who fell into an industrial grinding machine.

He’s fine now.

grinder

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I have no beef with vegetarians.

pig-pork-cartoon

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I slipped on some dog s**t the other day.

It didn’t suit me though.

clean dog

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I hate it how people keep texting me “k”.

I am very rarely in the mood to talk about potassium.

texting

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I bought some biscuits yesterday, on the packet it said,

“Store in a cool place.”

So I mailed them to Samuel L. Jackson’s house.

Samuel_L_Jackson

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When I was a kid people used to cover me

in cream and put a cherry on my head,

it was tough being brought up in the gateau.    

cartoon-gateau

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I bought a CD which was just the sound of water flowing.

I didn’t like it though, it was too main-stream.

water

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A bartender drowned in a tidal wave of tonic water after a case exploded,

he was schwepped away.

schweppes

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There’s a fine line between a numerator and a denominator. 

numerator_and_denominator

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Ten words, two commas, an exclamation mark

and a period all appeared in court yesterday…

They’re due to be sentenced next week.

judge_sentence_detroit

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The other day, an attendant stopped me in a hospital car park to tell me,

“You can’t park here. It’s badge holders only.”

I replied, “But I have got a bad shoulder.”

badge-holders-only-car-park

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Do you think “Gone With The Wind”

started out as just a draft?

gone_with_the_wind_cover

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I was pulled over by the police today.

“How fast do you think you were going, sir?”

“60mph?” I asked.

“Try 135,” the officer replied.

So I shut the door and drove as fast as I could.

police-officer

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The French are concerned that 77% of their electricity comes from nuclear power.

I think they should stop over-reacting.

france_nuclear

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I’m scared of trampolines.

They make me jump.

cartoon-trampoline

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At last I’ve found out the reason that women ask so many questions.

Apparently they have an extra why chromosome.

questions

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