Happy Thanksgiving Day Everybody

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well it’s Thursday again BUT it’s also Thanksgiving Day so perhaps some people will have a lot better things to do than read my blog today.

Whatever you are doing and wherever you are doing it, have a great and a lovely celebration whether you are with family, friends or just on your own.

For those who do care to take a few minutes to check out this blog, particularly for those in other countries who may not be celebrating on this particular day here is another selection of the bad jokes we like to call puns.

I just had to post this today because tomorrow I’ll probably be doing cold turkey. 

In case you hadn’t noticed, we’ve started. Read on and enjoy!

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I used to be a banker but I lost interest  

 

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How do you make antifreeze? Steal her blanket.

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Those who get too big for their britches will be exposed in the end.        

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He wears glasses during math because it improves division.      

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A bacteria walked into a bar and the bartender said, ‘We don’t serve bacteria in this place.’

The bacteria said, ‘But I work here, I’m staph.’

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He has been a jogger for three years running.    

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In a recession, the most secure job is garbage-man. Business is always picking up.

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Do optometrists live long because they dilate?

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I once heard a joke about amnesia, but I forgot how it goes.

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I just got of these new reversible jackets? I’m excited to see how it turns out.

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John Deere’s manure spreader is the only equipment the company won’t stand behind.

 

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Did you hear about the guy who got hit in the head with a can of soda? He was lucky it was a soft drink. 

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I’m not a big fan of archery. It has too many strings attached and lots of drawbacks.

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I was going to buy a book on phobias, but I was afraid it wouldn’t help me.

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Why did the capacitor kiss the diode? He just couldn’t resistor.

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A rule of grammar: double negatives are a no-no.

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Is the patron saint of poverty St. Nickeless.

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My new theory on inertia doesn’t seem to be gaining momentum.

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I relish the fact that you’ve mustard the strength to ketchup to me.         

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Weight loss mantra? Fat chants!

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Let’s Have Some More Pun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for a few more puns for those of you who like a bit of word play, or just enjoy some bad jokes dressed up as clever stuff.

Enjoy.

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You know prices are rising when you buy a winter jacket and even down is up.

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I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn’t click.

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Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.          

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The indecisive rower couldn’t choose either oar.

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5000 hares have escaped from the zoo.

The police are combing the area.

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The blind guy was sure he could master braille once he got a feel for it.

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The trailer for the movie was produced without a hitch!

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Did you hear about the beautiful but strict high school teacher?

She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils!

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down.

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Scientist one: “I’m going to try to clone myself.”

Scientist two: “Now wouldn’t that be just like you!”

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Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

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I’m inclined to be laid back.

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I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.      

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Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.

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My wife tells me I’m a skeptic – but I don’t believe a word she says.        

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In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was real.

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A pun about a monorail always makes for a decent one-liner!

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And finally, did you hear about the girl who got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun?

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