What Day Is It? – It’s Quiz Day, And That Wasn’t One Of The Questions!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No, sorry, no points if you said it was Quiz Day, even though you are right.

Twenty more challenging questions for you to ponder over.

So get a pot of coffee going and try you hand at these.

As usual, if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  You’ve heard of tasers, you’ve probably seen videos of them on TV or YouTube, but what do the letters ‘T-A-S-E-R’ stand for?

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Q.  2:  Out of the 40,000 men who served on U-boats during World War II, approximately how many returned safely?

            a) 100%            b) 75%            c) 50%            d) 25%            e) 15%

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Q.  3:  When did the Cold War end?

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Q.  4:  On which side of a venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

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Q.  5:  To which country do the Galapagos Islands belong?

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Q.  6:  What member of Britain’s Royal Family was assassinated whilst sailing from Mullaghmore in Ireland in 1979?

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Q.  7:  Harry Potter is a very famous and successful series of seven fantasy novels, who wrote them?

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Q.  8:  Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?

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Q.  9:  Which popular dried fruit is named after a port city in Greece?

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Q. 10:  Currently the highest priced painting in the world with a sales price equivalent to something in the region of $300 million, ‘The Card Players’ was painted by whom?

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Q. 11:  The old name for this island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful, what is it called today?

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Q. 12:  Complete the title of each of the following Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales. (And yes, you get a point for each correct answer.)

           a) The Red …..    b) The Emperor’s …  …….    C) The Steadfast …  …….

           d) The Princess And …  …    and,  e) The Wild …..

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Q. 13:  Some wills are strange, which very famous man left his wife his second best bed?

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Q. 14:  It’s the name of a dessert, the largest city in North Carolina, USA, and the wife of King George III – what is it?

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Q. 15:  Which of the following was NOT the name of a Chinese dynasty?

            a) Qing     b) Xin     c) Ming     d) Jin      e) Ching     or, e)  Tang

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Q. 16:  What huge sporting tournament begins June 14th this year?

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Q. 17:  Who was the first US President to have electricity in the White House?

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Q. 18:  What are very small clouds that look like they have been broken off of bigger clouds called?

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Q. 19:  He was the mythical founder of the city of Rome and the slayer of his twin brother. His name was also used for a war-like race of aliens in the series Star Trek. What was his name? (And a bonus point on offer if you can also correctly name his twin brother.)

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Q. 20:  It was the end of Napoleon’s career and the start of ABBA’s, what was it?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  You’ve heard of tasers, you’ve probably seen videos of them on TV or YouTube, but what do the letters ‘T-A-S-E-R’ stand for?

A.  1:  ‘Taser’ – Stands for ‘Thomas A Swift Electric Rifle’.

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Q.  2:  Out of the 40,000 men who served on U-boats during World War II, approximately how many returned safely?

            a) 100%            b) 75%            c) 50%            d) 25%            e) 15%

A.  2:  The correct answer is d) 25%. Out of the 40,000 men who served on U-boats during WWII, only approximately 10,000 returned safely.

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Q.  3:  When did the Cold War end?

A.  3:  This year (2014) is the 25th anniversary of the end of the Cold War, so take a point if you said ‘1989’.

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Q.  4:  On which side of a venetian blind is the cord that adjusts the opening between the slats?

A.  4:  It’s on the left.  

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Q.  5:  To which country do the Galapagos Islands belong?

A.  5:  Ecuador.

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Q.  6:  What member of Britain’s Royal Family was assassinated whilst sailing from Mullaghmore in Ireland in 1979?

A.  6:  Earl Mountbatten.

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Q.  7:  Harry Potter is a very famous and successful series of seven fantasy novels, who wrote them?

A.  7:  The Harry Potter series was written by the British author J. K. Rowling.

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Q.  8:  Does a merry-go-round turn clockwise or counter-clockwise?

A.  8:  Counter-clockwise.

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Q.  9:  Which popular dried fruit is named after a port city in Greece?

A.  9:  Corinthians (after the port city Corinth).

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Q. 10:  Currently the highest priced painting in the world with a sales price equivalent to something in the region of $300 million, ‘The Card Players’ was painted by whom?

A. 10:  Paul Cézanne.

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Q. 11:  The old name for this island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful, what is it called today?

A. 11:  The old name was ‘Formosa’, but the island nation is now known as Taiwan or officially the Republic of China.

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Q. 12:  Complete the title of each of the following Hans Christian Andersen fairy tales. (And yes, you get a point for each correct answer.)

           a) The Red …..    b) The Emperor’s …  …….    C) The Steadfast …  …….

           d) The Princess And …  …    and,  e) The Wild …..

A. 12:  The five answers are     a) The Red SHOES    b) The Emperor’s NEW CLOTHES

           c) The Steadfast TIN SOLDIER   d) The Princess And THE PEA    e) The Wild SWANS

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Q. 13:  Some wills are strange, which very famous man left his wife his second best bed?

A. 13:  There was a clue in the question, the answer is Will Shakespeare.

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Q. 14:  It’s the name of a dessert, the largest city in North Carolina, USA, and the wife of King George III – what is it?

A. 14:  Charlotte.

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Q. 15:  Which of the following was NOT the name of a Chinese dynasty?

            a) Qing     b) Xin     c) Ming     d) Jin      e) Ching     or, e)  Tang

A. 15:  They are all the names of Chinese dynasties except for e) Ching which I just made up! Take a point if you answered e).

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Q. 16:  What huge sporting tournament begins June 14th this year?

A. 16:  The football (soccer) World Cup.

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Q. 17:  Who was the first US President to have electricity in the White House?

A. 17:  Benjamin Harrison was the first president to have electricity in the White House. However, he was so scared of getting electrocuted that he would never touch the light switches himself.

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Q. 18:  What are very small clouds that look like they have been broken off of bigger clouds called?

A. 18:  Very small clouds that look like they have been broken off of bigger clouds are called ‘scuds’.

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Q. 19:  He was the mythical founder of the city of Rome and the slayer of his twin brother. His name was also used for a war-like race of aliens in the series Star Trek. What was his name? (And a bonus point on offer if you can also correctly name his twin brother.)

A. 19:  His name was ‘Romulus’. His twin brother’s name was ‘Remus’.

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Q. 20:  It was the end of Napoleon’s career and the start of ABBA’s, what was it?

A. 20:  Waterloo.

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Last Day Of The Month, First Quiz Of The Week.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another start of the week quiz.

Another twenty brain teasing questions to stimulate those old grey cells.

As usual the answers can be found waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?

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Q.  2:  Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?

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Q.  3:  Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?

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Q.  4:  What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?

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Q.  5:  In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?

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Q.  6:  Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)

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Q.  7:  This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?

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Q.  8:  Who was ‘The Once and Future King’? 

           a) Elvis           b) Arthur          c) Idi Amin           d) Aragorn

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Q.  9:  What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief?  (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?

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Q. 11:  Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?

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Q. 12:  The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?

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Q. 13:  Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?

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Q. 14:  The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?

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Q. 15:  What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?

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Q. 16:  What is the capital of Equador?

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Q. 17:  Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one?  (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)

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Q. 18:  What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?

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Q. 19:  Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?

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Q. 20:  What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Where would you go to look at the Abominable Snowman?

A.  1:  The Himalayas.

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Q.  2:  Who was Jacqueline Lee Bouvier’s second husband?

A.  2:  Greek shipping magnate, Aristotle Onassis.

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Q.  3:  Where were Gregory Peck, Ava Gardner, Fred Astaire and Antony Perkins in the 1959 post apocalyptic movie that they starred in?

A.  3:  On The Beach.

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Q.  4:  What famous magician shares his name with an equally famous Dickens’ character?

A.  4:  David Copperfield.

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Q.  5:  In which country is Togariro National park with its three volcanoes, including Mt. Ruapahu?

A.  5:  New Zealand.

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Q.  6:  Very few non Russians appeared on postage stamps in the USSR between 1922 and 1991, but two Americans did. Can you name them? (A point for each.)

A.  6:  They were Benjamin Franklin and Mark Twain.

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Q.  7:  This famous actor starred in a movie being himself, who is he?

A.  7:  He is John Malkovich, who starred in the movie ‘Being John Malkovich’.

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Q.  8:  Who was ‘The Once and Future King’? 

           a) Elvis           b) Arthur          c) Idi Amin           d) Aragorn

A.  8:  b) Arthur.

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Q.  9:  What was the name of the first director of the Federal Bureau of Investigation and who is it’s current chief?  (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  9:  J Edgar Hoover was the first, the current director is James Comey.

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Q. 10:  What is the name of the river that rises on the Tibetan Plateau of western China and has flooded more often and killed more people than any other?

A. 10:  The Yellow River.

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Q. 11:  Why were there no registered births or deaths in England on September 3rd 1752?

A. 11:  There was no September 3rd 1752. The British government adopted the Gregorian calendar.  It was decreed that the day following September 2nd 1752 should be called September 14.

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Q. 12:  The name of which form of literature stems from a Greek word meaning ‘making’?

A. 12:  Poetry.

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Q. 13:  Which actor won his only Oscar for his role in the western ‘True Grit’?

A. 13:  John Wayne.

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Q. 14:  The old name for which island country stems from the Latin word for beautiful?

A. 14:  Formosa (the modern name is Taiwan.)

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Q. 15:  What is the real name of The Shark Tank’s ‘Mr Wonderful’?

A. 15:  Kevin O’Leary.

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Q. 16:  What is the capital of Equador?

A. 16:  Quito.

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Q. 17:  Vincent van Gogh is not only a very famous artist with his works now commanding millions of dollars, but he is also well known for an incident in which he cut off an ear. Which one?  (Go on, you have a 50:50 chance on this one!)

A. 17:  It was his left ear.

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Q. 18:  What aliases did Hannibal Hayes and Kid Curry use in the long running television series?

A. 18:  They were ‘Alias Smith And Jones’.

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Q. 19:  Who was hailed as the founder of the Mongol Empire?

A. 19:  Genghis Khan.

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Q. 20:  What was Elvis Presley’s first number one hit single in the USA?

A. 20:  Heartbreak Hotel (in 1956).

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I’ve Never Understood Decimals – What’s The Point?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I may be having difficulty understanding the point of decimals, but I understand the point of a good pun or two.

Hope you do too.

Here is the latest word play selection for you enjoyment.

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I just found a note that says “Dial-a-Party” and a phone number.

I believe this calls for a celebration.

phone

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Went to a 70’s disco the other night.

Bought all sorts of cool gear too; platform boots,

brightly coloured flares, an afro wig…

But in retro specs I looked a twat.

mens-1970s-fashion

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Did you hear about the new restaurant called Karma.

There’s no menu, they just give you what you deserve.

Karma - restaurant

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I’m an avid campaigner for the preservation of endangered animals.

You should taste my panda jam.

wwf-panda-logo

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My friend’s always boasting how he once had to

shuffle 52 packs of cards and

then distribute them equally between 4 people.

Big deal.

dealing_cards_wapday-com

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You know who I can’t stand?

Intolerant people.

Bastards!

intolerance

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I had some time to kill yesterday.

So I went round to the mother-in-law’s.

cartoon-mother-in-law-card-by-leahg1

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One by one, all of my best friends have started

to become interested in men as well as women.

So I’m just sitting here, watching the world go bi.

darkow bi-ball

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My wife has just texted me asking me to ‘do her’ tonight.

I’m not looking forward to it, I’m useless at impressions.

first-impressions-cartoon-2

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I was taking the freeway out of LA the other day

when the cops pulled me over and said:

‘Put it back’.

freeway

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Guy #1:  “I call my girlfriend ‘Miss Universe’.”

Guy #2:  “Is it because she’s so beautiful?”

Guy #1:  “No it’s ’cause she’s constantly expanding, the fat cow!” 

scared-cat-cartoon-kitty-frightened-of-fat-lady-from-behind

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I used to keep poking myself in my eyes,

but don’t worry,

I can’t see myself doing it again.

poking

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Archaeologists have just discovered

an ancient Egyptian ruler embalmed in chocolate.

Apparently it was Pharaoh Rocher.

choc body

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My tailor has stitched the bottom

of my trousers the wrong way around.

Meh.

fashion681

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I pulled a cracker last Christmas.

There’s a joke in there somewhere.

christmas-crackers-and-decoration

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Can anybody tell me where Jeopardy is?

Apparently there’s 1000s of jobs there.

Jeopardy Logo

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My teacher handed me a blank piece of white paper.

“Make a paper plane,” she said.

“It already is,” I said.

blank paper

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My opinion on fishmongers?

Selfish.

fishmonger

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My friend just showed me a picture of his new girlfriend,

who he says is from Eastern Europe.

I looked at the picture and said

‘she looks nothing like a frog.’

‘What are you on about?’ He said.

‘I told you she’s a Tad-Polish.’

frog-tadpoles

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I think my mum is going senile.

I just told her that my girlfriend is pregnant with my daughter.

She asked me, “Do you have a name?”

I said, “I’ve always had a name, for goodness sake, it’s me, David.”

mother_here_phone

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Let’s Have Some More Pun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for a few more puns for those of you who like a bit of word play, or just enjoy some bad jokes dressed up as clever stuff.

Enjoy.

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You know prices are rising when you buy a winter jacket and even down is up.

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I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn’t click.

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Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.          

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The indecisive rower couldn’t choose either oar.

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5000 hares have escaped from the zoo.

The police are combing the area.

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The blind guy was sure he could master braille once he got a feel for it.

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The trailer for the movie was produced without a hitch!

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Did you hear about the beautiful but strict high school teacher?

She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils!

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down.

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Scientist one: “I’m going to try to clone myself.”

Scientist two: “Now wouldn’t that be just like you!”

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Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

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I’m inclined to be laid back.

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I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.      

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Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.

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My wife tells me I’m a skeptic – but I don’t believe a word she says.        

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In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was real.

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A pun about a monorail always makes for a decent one-liner!

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And finally, did you hear about the girl who got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun?

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Beautiful Numbers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’ve heard it said that there are three kinds of mathematicians — those who can count and those who can’t.  

That seems to be getting more and more true. It used to be by the time we left school we all had a basic knowledge of arithmetic. Enough to count our change and balance our check books. Sadly that is no longer the case.

For most of us that was as far as mathematics went. For others it led to algebra, geometry, trigonometry, calculus and even something they called advanced maths.

But what we all missed in school, no matter whether our knowledge was basic or advanced, was the fact that numbers can sometimes be beautiful, both in what they can do and the patterns they can make.

Here are a few examples below that I hope you find at least a little bit interesting.

 

But first a joke. It’s a oldie and involves my old friend Dubya, who for many years provided me with an endless source of amusement. Damn I miss him for that! Anyway, here’s the joke….

 

President Bush’s morning security briefing is wrapping up.  

Defense Secretary Donald Rumsfeld is concluding his part and says, “Finally, three Brazilian soldiers were killed yesterday near Baghdad.”

“OH MY GOD!” shrieks Bush, and he buries his head in his hands for a seemingly interminable 30 seconds.  

Stunned at the unexpected display of emotion, the President’s staff sits speechless, not sure how to react.

Finally, Bush looks up and asks Rumsfeld, 

“How many is a brazillion?”

 

Now for the beautiful numbers

 

  3 x 37 = 111    and     1 + 1 + 1 =   3

  6 x 37 = 222    and     2 + 2 + 2 =   6

  9 x 37 = 333    and     3 + 3 + 3 =   9

12 x 37 = 444    and     4 + 4 + 4 = 12

15 x 37 = 555    and     5 + 5 + 5 = 15

18 x 37 = 666    and     6 + 6 + 6 = 18

21 x 37 = 777    and     7 + 7 + 7 = 21

24 x 37 = 888    and     8 + 8 + 8 = 24

27 x 37 = 999    and     9 + 9 + 9 = 27

 

 

1 x 1 = 1

11 x 11 = 121

111 x 111 = 12321

1111 x 1111 = 1234321

11111 x 11111 = 123454321

111111 x 111111 = 12345654321

1111111 x 1111111 = 1234567654321

11111111 x 11111111 = 123456787654321

111111111 x 111111111 = 12345678987654321

 

 

1 x 9 + 2 = 11

12 x 9 + 3 = 111

123 x 9 + 4 = 1111

1234 x 9 + 5 = 11111

12345 x 9 + 6 = 111111

123456 x 9 + 7 = 1111111

1234567 x 9 + 8 = 11111111

12345678 x 9 + 9 = 111111111

123456789 x 9 +10 = 1111111111

 

 

9 x 9 + 7 = 88

98 x 9 + 6 = 888

987 x 9 + 5 = 8888

9876 x 9 + 4 = 88888

98765 x 9 + 3 = 888888

987654 x 9 + 2 = 8888888

9876543 x 9 + 1 = 88888888

98765432 x 9 + 0 = 888888888

 

 

1 x 8 + 1 = 9

12 x 8 + 2 = 98

123 x 8 + 3 = 987

1234 x 8 + 4 = 9876

12345 x 8 + 5 = 98765

123456 x 8 + 6 = 987654

1234567 x 8 + 7 = 9876543

12345678 x 8 + 8 = 98765432

123456789 x 8 + 9 = 987654321

 

 

67 x 67 = 4489

667 x 667 = 444889

6667 x 6667 = 44448889

66667 x 66667 = 4444488889

666667 x 666667 = 444444888889

6666667 x 6666667 = 44444448888889

 

 

4 x 4 = 16

34 x 34 = 1156

334 x 334 = 111556

3334 x 3334 = 11115556

33334 x 33334 = 1111155556

 

 

A Truly Remarkable Number

Enter the number 999999 into your calculator, then divide it by seven.

The result will be a mysterious number!

 

Throw a die (or randomly pick a number from 1 to 6) and multiply the result by the mysterious number.

 

Arrange the digits of the product from lowest to highest from left to right to form a six-digit number.

 

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Intelligent Design

 

When in the Course of human Events, it becomes necessary for
one People to dissolve the Political Bands which have connected
them with another, and to assume, among the Powers of the Earth,
the separate and equal Station to which the Laws of Nature and of
Nature’s God entitle them, a descent Respect to the Opinions of
Mankind requires that they should declare the causes which impel
them to the Separation.

 
Printed above is the first paragraph of the U.S. Declaration of Independence.

 

Select any one of the first 20 words.

 

Count the letters and call that number “n”.

 

Move ahead “n” words, beginning with the word after your selected word.

 

When you reach that “nth” word, count its letters and move ahead as many words as the new letter count.

 

Continue in this manner, counting letters and moving ahead words, until you stop on a word that’s beyond the fourth line.

 
Do it as many times as you want, selecting a different word from the first 20 each time.