My Nose Is Itchy, I Wonder Why. Maybe The Facts Will Tell Me.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Itchy or not it’s time for another fact day.

This selection includes music, movies and Mexican general elections.

So hopefully something for everyone.

Enjoy.

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facts 02

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Earth’s seasons are not due to our proximity to the sun,

but rather due to Earth’s 23.4 degree tilt on its axis.

 earth's tilt on axis

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Did you know that in Romania many people believe

that when your nose is feeling itchy,

it means that someone wants to kiss you.

In some other countries the superstition says

that an itchy nose is a sign that

you are going to be angry later.

Take you choice which to believe, or both, or neither.

 itchy nose

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When you are trying to listen to someone in a noisy situation,

use your right ear because it picks up words better,

while your left ear is better at picking up sounds and music.

 listening

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Famous people who served during World War One (WWI)

include the writers A. A. Milne, creator of Winnie the Pooh,

JRR Tolkien, author of Lord of The Rings,

sculptor Henry Moore, and the actor Basil Rathbone.

 

Basil Rathbone WWI
Basil Rathbone WWI

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Although it is commonly said and believed that

lightning doesn’t strike in the same place twice,

the fact is that it can and does.

Lightning tries to find the fastest path to the ground,

and therefore tall buildings, trees, and such are at the

greatest risk because the higher the object,

the more likely it is to be struck.

 lightning striking tree

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The most subscribed channel

on YouTube is ‘Music’.

 YouTube music channel

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In the Mexican general election of 1988,

during the count the government claimed

that the computers had crashed.

Although the early results showed that

Cárdenas was winning comfortably,

when the computers were “repaired,”

his political opponent, Salinas, had supposedly

eked out a narrow victory.

Years later, a former president of Mexico,

Miguel de la Madrid, admitted to the New York Times

that the 1988 general election had been rigged

to make the Institutional Revolutionary Party win,

and that three years after the election,

all ballots were burned in order to

remove all evidence of the fraud.

 Mexican flag

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The techniques used for pyramid

construction developed over time;

later pyramids were not built

the same way as earlier ones.

 techniques used for pyramid construction

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 In the H G Wells novel entitled “The World Set Free”,

written at a time when little was known

about the power of radioactive elements,

he predicted that a city-destroying atomic bomb

would destroy lives in the future.

Years later the atomic bomb was launched

through the Manhattan Project and eventually

dropped on the Japanese city of Hiroshima,

causing radiation sickness and deaths years after.

 The World Set Free by H G Wells

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In 1929, German surgeon Werner Forssmann

examined the inside of his own heart by

threading a catheter into his arm vein.

This was the first cardiac catheterization,

a now common procedure.

 cardiac catheterization

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The chef was one of the male survivors

from the Titanic disaster,

and his survival is credited to the amount

of liquor he drank right before going underwater,

which kept his body temperature up.

 Titanic chef survivor

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Marijuana is known to increase

appetite and food consumption.

Pigs in Bhutan are fed cannabis to make

them hungrier and consequently fatter.

 Pigs in Bhutan are fed cannabis

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Vodka is the world’s most popular liquor by a huge margin,

with about 5 billion liters consumed every year.

 stolichnaya vodka

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Cocoa trees can live up to 200 years but they only

produce usable cocoa beans for about 25 years.

 Cocoa trees

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In the famous movie Psycho,

Alfred Hitchcock used Bosco chocolate syrup

for blood in the legendary shower scene.

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Vlad The Bad?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The Sunday Sermon

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“It was the Russians, they’re the ones to blame.”

“It was Putin. He’s the baddie. We can’t let him get way with it!”

 malaysia-airlines-flight-mh17

So go the cries in the US in the aftermath of the shooting down of Air Malaysia Flight MH17 over the Ukraine.

And that was long before any of the facts had been collected and it was known who shot down a plane on a different continent, or why. 

Russia wants (virtual) control of the Ukraine. There isn’t really any doubt about that. For them it is a strategic imperative. Russia’s history has taught it that it needs to be able to control a vast amount of territory, if only to use as a buffer zone against invasion.

The situation is not helped by various US Presidents and Secretaries of State giving Russia assurances that they would not attempt to involve the peripheral former Soviet states in things like NATO – and then trying to do the exact opposite.

It is now widely accepted that the underlying reason for the unrest in the Ukraine and Russia’s reaction is because of US interference in that country, which included helping to overthrow its democratically elected president, Viktor Yanukovych, and replace him with someone who was a virtual puppet of the West.

That was just asking for trouble. And they should have known it.

And they will get trouble, probably much more than they bargained for.

Unfortunately that will impact on ordinary people, like us.

 Major_NATO_affiliations_in_Europe

Just as the US has its beady eyes on bringing the Ukraine and other former Soviet states into pro-Western organizations like NATO, it is equally certain that Putin will have his beady eyes on not only bringing the former Soviet states back firmly under Russian control, but in perhaps expanding his relationships with other parts of Europe.

Putin has the energy reserves to do it. Whilst there is very little in the way of direct trade between the US and Russia, particularly in regard to energy supplies, (Russia is just the United States’ 20th largest trading partner), Europe is largely dependent on Russian gas to keep it going. Over 30 percent of the European Union’s energy supplies come from Russia and the EU is Russia’s largest trading partner.

Russia’s counter strategy, therefore, will obviously be to use its considerable economic influence as leverage to try to break up the NATO alliance and to separate the European power house, Germany, from its Anglo-American alliance.

Putin is being helped by the arrogance of America’s government spooks who thought they could spy on their friends and allies, even going so far as tapping the phone of German Chancellor, Angela Merkel, without there being consequences.  

consequences

Prompted by leaks from NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden, the fallout from America’s spying debacle continues, people have been arrested, and the German government has even ordered the local CIA station chief to pack his bags and leave the country.

Germany may still place some value on its relationship with the US, but not nearly so much as previously, thanks solely to America’s lack of respect for them.

Putin and his advisors know this, even if Obama and Kerry don’t. They see Germany as ready for change. And they may well be right. The German people are angry at the contempt America has shown for them  – just as Americans would rightly have been if the Germans had done the same to them and their President  –  and they are increasingly frustrated at the burden the European Union has become economically.

If the US doesn’t catch itself on and behave differently and with respect towards its foreign friends, it may find that there will be changes it did not expect and certainly did not want.

Kerry Putin Obama

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All The Good Puns About The Periodic Table Argon!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In case you hadn’t guessed from the title, it’s Pun Day again.

Another selection of great jokes or terrible jokes depending on your point of view.

So get those groans ready.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The time will never be wrong.

Not on my watch.

Omega watch

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I used to live in a normal house,

but then steps were taken to make it into a bungalow.

Bungalow

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My dog has just eaten my entire James Bond DVD collection.

Luckily I managed to beat The Living Daylights out of him.

The Living Daylights

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I got an answering machine today but I think it’s broken.

I’ve asked it loads of questions and nothing’s happening.

answering machine

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My wife lost her Tampax and got really angry.

I hate it when she loses her rag.

Tampax

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I’ve finally remembered the word that

I’ve been thinking about for two weeks.

It’s ‘fortnight.’

fortnight

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Me and my mate are having a competition

to see who can steal the most dog related stuff

from next door’s house.

I’ve just taken the lead….

DOG_LEAD

 

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They call me Mr Rhetorical.

Can you guess why?

Rhetorical question stems

I’m looking to start up my own business,

recycling discarded chewing gum.

Just need help getting it off the ground.

discarded chewing gum on sidewalk

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My whisky kept going missing so I confronted the wife.

She told me that the guilty party was the family dog.

I found it staggering.

drunk dog

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I lost my job today because I said the office is full of assholes.

Bit of an overreaction to my opinion about a TV program I think.

the office

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What’s black and gets abused 24/7

on social networking sites?

Punctuation!

Punctuation

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I’m a much better fighter now that I have a blackbelt.

I was hopeless when my trousers kept falling down.

trousers kept falling down

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Shopping for antiques won’t make you gay,

but it will make you buy curios.

Shopping for antiques

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A lady at the supermarket asked me if I’ve ever drunk orange juice with pulp.

I said, “No, but I once had coffee with The Bluetones.”

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There’s A Fine Line Between Hyphenated Words…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There is indeed a fine line between hyphenated words – haven’t you noticed?

Yes, it’s the day to play on words, or play with words.

Whatever way you want to put it, it’s pun day!

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The other day I held the door open for a clown.

I thought it was a nice jester.

clown jester

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I thought my Granny was going to get me a jumper for my birthday

but she just gave me a card again.

cardigan

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I play for my shop fitting company’s football team.

We are great on the counter attack.

a_Dodson_Shop_Fitters_Reception_Counter_with_Glass_Shelves

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I’ve sent a few angry letters to my Congressman.

A ‘G’ and three ‘R’s.

grrr

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I had a good morning today, I met Cameron Diaz.

And her brother, Buenos.

Cameron-Diaz

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I’m lying in bed listening to the Carpenters…

Who are taking way too long installing the new kitchen.

carpenter-kitchen-fitter

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I’ve just started a new extermination company

that specialises in felines.

I’m calling it curiosity.

Curiosity+killed+the+cat.+source+smosh+facebook+page_06d5f5_3980829

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L’Oreal Saudi Arabia.

Burkas you’re worth it.

l'oreal Saudi Arabia, burkas you're worth it

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My other half reckons I might have schizophrenia!

schizophrenia

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I took a poll recently,

and 100% of the strippers asked

were angry they had nothing to dance on.

silhouette-pole

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“OK son, what do you understand

by the word ‘omniscient’?”

He said, “God knows…”

What a clever little boy!

clever little boy

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I’m writing a post about storms.

So far, it’s just a rough draft.

storms

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Did you hear about the mexcian train killer?

He had locomotives.

Mexican train game

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What’s the singular of ‘werewolves’?

‘I’m a wolf’.

Cartoon Werewolf

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I was gob smacked when my Swedish friend came to

visit from the states and was now living as a woman.

He was Bjorn in the U.S.A.

Bjorn in the U.S.A.

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Why Isn’t There An I In Cyclops?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day again. How quickly they seem to come around.

Here’s the latest selection.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The key to winning world’s best chiropodist title is no mean feet.

worlds_greatest_podiatrist_women_cartoon_poster

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I got woken up at 5am today by a bird tweeting.

If she doesn’t get a grip on her Internet addiction soon, I’m dumping her.

Woman in front of a computer with Twitter logo

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Mulled wine is just wine that people think a lot about.

mulled wine

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My friend told me he is going to a fancy dress

party as a native American warrior.

I thought, that’s brave.

indian brave

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I’ve just given a ten minute presentation

about underwear to Stephen Hawking.

It was a timed history of briefs.

Stephen Hawking A Brief History Of Time

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My friend asked me,

“Why are you so lazy when it comes to numbers?”

I said “You do the maths.”

math problem

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Dave the slug and Pete the termite are in the pub.

“I’d love to win the lottery,” Dave the slug said.

“Not me,” replied Pete the termite. “No way.”

“Why not?” asked Dave the slug.

“It would be a nightmare,” Pete the termite said.

“I’d have all my family crawling out of the woodwork after a share.”

termite cartoon

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I said to the wife, “How come I never find you in the mood for sex?”

She replied, “You don’t look hard enough.”

husband and wife in bed cartoon

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I always pray before I play a game of pool.

That way the angles help me.

pool shark

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Reports are coming in of a huge explosion

in a baking powder factory.

Police are expecting casualties to rise.

explosion in factory

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My wife gets furious when I put her down in front of my friends.

But it’s really embarrassing carrying around a 35 year old woman.

man-holding-woman

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What is small, red and whispers?

A hoarse raddish.

cartoon-radish-raising-his-hands

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While trekking in Nepal I saw a Yeti with an awesome six-pack.

Must have been the abdominal snowman.

abdominable snowman

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To become a good dentist,

you need a degree in Flossify.

flossing cartoon

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Just found out that ‘Aaarrrggghhh’ is not a real word.

I can’t even tell you how angry I am!

aaarrrggghhh

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Today is a beautiful day

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I know an architect.

Nothing very unusual in that.

Except for one thing, this one is blind.

He hasn’t been blind all his life but from his late teens, when he was training to be an architect, he started to lose his sight due to an inherited disease and eventually it went altogether.

To his credit he hasn’t let it stop him leading as full a life as possible. Although there have been good and bad results.

For example, he insists on helping around the house but on one occasion he picked up a kitten along with the dirty clothes and promptly dumped all in the washing machine. Both the clothes and the kitten were clean at the end of the washing cycle, but the unfortunate kitten was also dead.

He also tells a story about doing some shopping at a time when his sight was almost gone, but not quite. He was in a local pharmacy and queued up at the counter waiting to hand over his prescription. He waited and waited, but the pharmacy assistant kept ignoring him. He could hear other people getting served, but never him. He waited and he waited and he waited some more, but nothing. The girl behind the counter just kept ignoring him.

Finally his patience just ran out. He was angry. He thought he was being deliberately ignored because of his disability and that other ‘seeing’ customers were being allowed to jump the queue. He spoke to the assistant who was standing right in front of him. She didn’t respond. Then he spoke louder. Still no reaction. Then he started to give forth some abuse which included a good bit of strong language. The other customers in the pharmacy all stopped what they were doing and watched what was going on.

People were a little embarrassed. Nobody intervened except for one gentleman, who walked up to my friend, put his hand on his shoulder and said quietly buy firmly, “Come over here son, and this other person will attend to your order.”

He found out later that he had been patiently queuing up in front of one of those body and head mannequins that was sitting on the counter and which the pharmacy was using to display a ladies wig, and had been hurling his abuse and angst at it and not to a real person at all.

A few incidents like that aside, he has coped quite well. He has compensated for his lack of sight by developing an extremely good memory and equally good recall. I think that proves that the more you use your brain the better it works.

What a pity so many people these hardly use theirs at all!

For a lot of years his way of designing houses was very laborious. He would plan the whole thing out in his head and then give verbal instructions to his son who would dutifully draft out a sketch of the proposed building. It was slow and tedious for the recipient of the instructions, although he reveled in the task himself – a little bit too much and too long for most people’s liking if truth be told. I know because I was the unfortunate recipient of the drafting instructions on a couple of occasions.

And then a possible solution hit me like a brick.

A Lego brick actually.

I bought a few large base sheets and he got himself some small Lego bricks and from then on he was able to draft his own floorplans, and to scale using each little brick as equivalent to one foot or whatever. It worked well for him and gave him a bit more freedom to plan and re-plan without involving anyone else in the process. I don’t know whether he still uses it or not, but I kind of hope so.

Now, what sparked this blog post in my head wasn’t him at all. It was a video that I watched recently. It’s not about architects either, but it is about someone who is blind. And it is also about the power of words which as a blogger and writer I appreciate, as I’m sure many of you do too.

It’s a nice video.

I hope you enjoy it.