I’ve Always Found That The Letter ‘N’ Divides Opinion

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There’s no getting away from it, the letter ‘n’ does divide opinion.

And so too does that little word play device called the Pun.

For those who like them and for those who like to hate them here is another selection.

Enjoy or Endure!

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rofl

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Getting a job repairing revolving doors

was a real turning point in my life.

Revolving door overhaul and repair

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I have a friend who is ambidextrous illiterate…

He can’t write anything with both hands.

illiterate

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My wife asked me “Would you say that I was likeable?”

I said “No love, bulls are male. You’re like a cow.”

 

cow

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What is Stephen Hawking’s favourite cream?

sQWERTY.

Stephen Hawking keyboard

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I’ve never asked a rhetorical question.

How cool is that?

RhetoricalQuestionsOnly

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I once got asked to do a sketch of

an old gameshow host dressed up as a Charlies Angel.

I drew Barrymore.

drew Barrymore

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There’s a gang going through our town,

systematically shoplifting clothes in size order…

The police believe they’re still at large.

clothes in size order

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I know a guy who has one eye bigger than the other.

His name is Iain.

forest-whitaker-one eye bigger than the other

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A recent study proved that I shouldn’t try

to add unnecessary rooms to my house.

study-room-design-ideas

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There is a remote tribe

that worships the number Zero.

Is nothing sacred?

number Zero

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What cheese do you use

to disguise horse meat?

Mascarpone.

Mascarpone

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Yesterday, a Lumberjack slipped

and cut into his leg with a chainsaw.

He lost a lot of blood, but although

they managed to stem the flow,

paramedics say he is still not out of the woods yet.

Lumberjacks

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I’m not afraid of flying.

I am, however, afraid of being 35,000 feet

in the air and suddenly “not” flying.

fear-of-flying

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I don’t know what the fascination is with strip clubs.

It’s just the same old thong and dance.

thong and dance

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Elton John has got so fat recently, he is having

to have his trousers specially made for him,

He’s had to say goodbye normal jeans…

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More Moron Madness For Monday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Crikey! Not only has another Monday arrived with us but now we’re into September, summer is winding down and Autumn beginning. Personally I prefer the Spring time when everything is coming back to life rather than shutting down, but we have to take what we get.

Hope another selection from the quiz show answers archive helps your mood for the beginning of another week.

Enjoy.

 

 

Q: Name a seafood that comes in a can, besides tuna   

A: Albacore

A: Chicken of the Sea   

 

 

Q: Name something worn only by children         

A: Clothes        

 

 

Q: The birthday that men dread the most           

A: Their wife’s  

 

 

Q: An activity that is both healthy and fun          

A: Sex

 

 

Q: Name a kind of bank that doesn’t deal with money    

A: Sperm         

 

 

Q: An attraction you see in every parade           

A: Merry-go-round         

 

 

Q: Name something you put in empty coffee cans         

A: Spaghetti

 

 

Q: Name a reason you might stay inside on a beautiful day        

A: It’s raining    

 

 

Q: Name a children’s story about an animal       

A: David and Goliath     

 

 

Q: Name a famous woman you wouldn’t want to see wearing a thong     

A: Sally the hippo         

 

 

Q: Name something you hear at a New Year’s Eve party 

A: Gunfire

A: A parade

 

 

Q: Name a farm animal that people have as a pet          

A: Turkey         

 

 

Q: Name something you rent for one day          

A: A stripper     

 

 

Q: An occupation where someone wears a robe at work 

A: Prostitute

 

 

Q: Name something you associate with the Dallas Cowboys      

A: Cowboy hats

 

 

Q: The most lovable breed of dog        

A: Kitten          

 

 

Q: Name something associated with Cuba         

A: It’s in South America

 

 

Q: Name a character from the movie Aladdin     

A: Jihad

 

 

Q: Name a Jewish person that had a great impact on society     

A: Mussolini     

 

 

Q: Name a movie with the word “King” in it         

A: King Dracula

 

 

Q: Name a measurement of time           

A: Watch

 

 

Q: One thing people do to imitate a dog when playing charades 

A: Lift their leg  

 

 

Q: An appliance you should definitely keep your fingers out of  

A: Dishwasher  

 

 

Q: Name something you think that all drivers, except you, should get a ticket for doing   

A: Driving on the median           

 

 

Q: An animal that starts with the letter A 

A: Arachnophobia

 

 

Q: Somewhere a man might go after he gets divorced   

A: Go buy a car

 

 

Q: Name something celebrities might be embarrassed to endorse on a commercial         

A: Name a douche        

 

 

Q: An occupation whose members must get tired of smiling       

A: Game show host      

 

 

Q: An Olympic sport starting with ‘S’     

A: Skydiving     

 

 

Q: Name something that might be a pizza topping in a horror movie       

A: Feces

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