Make Sure You Smile – It’s Fact Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s not that the facts today are particularly funny, in fact some of them are the exact opposite.

But if you are in Milan and reading this post I bet you are smiling anyway.

Find out why.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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Trakr, a German shepherd survivor detection dog,

made history when he became the dog that found the

last survivor of the World Trade Center attack on September 11.

For his accomplishments, Trakr was named

one of history’s most heroic animals by Time.

Trakr died in 2009 at age fourteen.

Trakr, a German shepherd survivor detection dog, made history when he became the dog that found the last survivor of the World Trade Center attack on September 11

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75% of the world’s population

speaks more than one language,

but 75% of the world’s population

speak no English.

Homer Simpson English

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Having a pet makes you happier

because petting an animal

releases oxytocin in our brains,

which is sometimes known as

the “cuddle hormone”.

cuddle hormone oxytocin

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The eyes blink on an average of

17 times per minute,

that’s 14,280 times per day

or 5.2 million times a year.

obama-blink

 

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In the early Middle Ages,

Europeans divided the day

into seven hours of equal length and,

because summer days are longer than winter ones,

a winter hour was about sixty minutes,

but a summer one was about 150 minutes.

A little bit confusing I think.

Middle Ages, Europeans divided the day into seven hours of equal length

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Trampolines contribute to at least

two deaths and numerous serious injuries

each year.

Trampoline

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Giacomo Casanova was an 18th century

Italian adventurer and nobleman famous for

his numerous elaborate affairs with women.

Today, if a man is referred to as a ‘Casanova’,

it can mean anything from an

attentive seducer to a mere lecher.

Giacomo Casanova

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In January 2012, dozens of turtles

were found dead in Keystone Heights, Florida,

at the end of Pinon Road.

No one, including the

Florida Fish and Wildlife Conservation Commission,

has been able to figure out what happened.  

turtle deaths unexplained

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The most powerful non-nuclear bomb

ever created by the US military is the

Massive Ordinance Air Blast bomb,

better known as ‘MOAB’.

It is also more popularly known as

the “Mother of All Bombs”.

Mother of All Bombs

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Charles Dickens’s house had a secret door

in the form of a fake bookcase.

The fake books on its shelves included

titles such as ‘The Life of a Cat’

in 9 volumes of course.

bookshelves-hidden-door

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Ford’s F-150 has been the best-selling

vehicle in America for the past 33 years

and the best-selling truck since 1977.

Ford have sold over 34,000,000 of them

since they started production in 1948.

Last year alone they sold 753,851,

which is an incredible 2,065 a day,

or one every 35 seconds.

If you parked every Ford F-150

ever made side by side,

they would stretch for 49,802 miles (80,150 km),

the equivalent to twice around the Equator.

Ford F150

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The first black astronaut was Robert Henry Lawrence Jr.,

but he died before he could travel to space.

The first black astronaut in space

(spending more then 28 days there)

was Guion Bluford in 1983.

He was inducted into the

International Space Hall of Fame in 1997 and into

the United States Astronaut Hall of Fame in 2010.

Guion Bluford first black astronaut in space

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The world’s greatest disaster suffered

as a result of animal attacks on humans

happened on Ramree Island during WWII.

The island is infested with saltwater crocodiles

and nearly 500 Japanese troops were eaten alive there.

The-Crocodile-Massacre-of-Ramree-Island

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When Star Wars: A New Hope was

first being shown in movie theaters

France was still executing people by guillotine.

guillotine

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Ending today’s facts on a happy note,

if you want to visit Milan, Italy,

make sure to smile all the time as the

Italian city has imposed a ban on frowning.

It is a legal requirement to smile at all times,

except during funerals or hospital visits.

If you don’t you can face a fine.

Milan

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The Big Easy Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Well maybe not just so easy a quiz as all that. You’ll find out below, and why I called it that too.

All the usual mixture of questions are here.

And as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 4

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Q.  1:  What city is known as ‘The Big Easy’ ?

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Q.  2:  What color are the flowers of the ‘harebell’ ?

            a)  red            b) green            c) blue            d) yellow

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the process in which a solid turns directly into a gas, without passing through the liquid phase?

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Q.  4:  What is the largest wild member of the dog family?

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Q.  5:  Which element has the symbol ‘Au’ ?

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Q.  6:  What is the electrical unit of resistance?

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Q.  7:  Who invented the jet engine in 1930?

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Q.  8:  How many sheets of paper are there in a ‘ream’ ?

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Q.  9:  It is called the ‘Hunter’ and consists of 3 stars, what is the proper name of this constellation?

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Q. 10:  What did the British government do on the roads in order to reduce accidents in 1925?

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Q. 11:  What is a ‘Flemish giant’ ?

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Q. 12:  The Balearic Islands are an archipelago of Spain in the western Mediterranean Sea, near the eastern coast of the Iberian Peninsula. You get a point if you can name any of the four largest islands that make up this group. (If you can correctly name more than one, give yourself a bonus point for each.)

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Q. 13:  If you were ‘purling’, what activity would you be doing?

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Q. 14:  Which famous battle was fought on June 18 1815?

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Q. 15:  In which country was the world’s first female Prime Minister elected in 1960?

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Q. 16:  What is the name of Long John Silver’s parrot?

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Q. 17:  This is the name of a famous bicycle manufacturing company, the capital city of a state in the US, and of a writer, poet, soldier, politician, courtier, spy, and explorer in Elizabethan England, what is it?

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Q. 18:  Who created the famous sculptures ‘The Thinker’ and ‘The Kiss’ ?

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Q. 19:  A lot of us now use it, but what does the acronym ‘VOIP’ stand for?

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Q. 20:  Which group’s best-known recording is the 1967 single ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’ ?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What city is known as ‘The Big Easy’ ?

A.  1:  New Orleans is known as ‘The Big Easy’.

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Q.  2:  What color are the flowers of the harebell?

            a)  red            b) green            c) blue            d) yellow

A.  2:  The correct answer is c) blue.

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Q.  3:  What is the name of the process in which a solid turns directly into a gas, without passing through the liquid phase?

A.  3:  The process is called ‘sublimation’.

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Q.  4:  What is the largest wild member of the dog family?

A.  4:  The wolf.

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Q.  5:  Which element has the symbol ‘Au’ ?

A.  5:  Gold.

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Q.  6:  What is the electrical unit of resistance?

A.  6:  The ‘ohm’.

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Q.  7:  Who invented the jet engine in 1930?

A.  7:  Frank Whittle.

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Q.  8:  How many sheets of paper are there in a ‘ream’ ?

A.  8:  500.

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Q.  9:  It is called the ‘Hunter’ and consists of 3 stars, what is the proper name of this constellation?

A.  9:  It is ‘Orion’s belt’.

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Q. 10:  What did the British government do on the roads in order to reduce accidents in 1925?

A. 10:  They painted white lines.

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Q. 11:  What is a ‘Flemish giant’ ?

A. 11:  I’m tempted to give you a point if you said “A big Belgian’ but I won’t. You get the point if you said a Flemish giant was a Rabbit.

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Q. 12:  The Balearic Islands are an archipelago of Spain in the western Mediterranean Sea, near the eastern coast of the Iberian Peninsula. You get a point if you can name any of the four largest islands that make up this group. (If you can correctly name more than one, give yourself a bonus point for each.)

A. 12:  The four largest Balearic islands are Majorca, Minorca, Ibiza and Formentera.

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Q. 13:  If you were ‘purling’, what activity would you be doing?

A. 13:  You’d be knitting.

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Q. 14:  Which famous battle was fought on June 18 1815?

A. 14:  The Battle of Waterloo.

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Q. 15:  In which country was the world’s first female Prime Minister elected in 1960?

A. 15:  Sri Lanka (or Ceylon as it was then – the woman in question being Mrs Sirimavo Bandaranaike)

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Q. 16:  What is the name of Long John Silver’s parrot?

A. 16:  Captain Flint.

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Q. 17:  This is the name of a famous bicycle manufacturing company, the capital city of a state in the US, and of a writer, poet, soldier, politician, courtier, spy, and explorer in Elizabethan England, what is it?

A. 17:  It is ‘Raleigh’. Raleigh is a famous bicycle manufacturing company, Raleigh is the capital city of North Carolina, and the famous Elizabethan was Sir Walter Raleigh.

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Q. 18:  Who created the famous sculptures ‘The Thinker’ and ‘The Kiss’ ?

A. 18:  Auguste Rodin.

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Q. 19:  A lot of us now use it, but what does the acronym ‘VOIP’ stand for?

A. 19:  Voice Over Internet Protocol.

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Q. 20:  Which group’s best-known recording is the 1967 single ‘A Whiter Shade of Pale’ ?

A. 20:  Procol Harum. (Here it is….)

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RIPIE, YIPEE!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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In my post last Friday that I called ‘Looking Through The Windows’ (click here if you want to read it)   I mentioned that the demise of Microsoft’s Internet Explorer browser was imminent and Windows 10 would see a whole new ‘streamlined’ internet browsing system bundled with it.

Now it’s official.

Microsoft is indeed ditching Internet Explorer. If fact it is getting rid of the entire brand.

Microsoft has confirmed that it was re-branding its new browser, currently known as ‘Project Spartan’, when it is released in summer.

Microsoft-s-Spartan-Browser

As usual, the need to kill off Internet Explorer is Microsoft’s own fault. They have released a series of bloated and buggy versions of IE over recent years, every one worse than the previous one. Now IE has attained a very negative reputation with internet users, particularly experienced ones.

But IE’s death will not be a quick and painless one. Instead a lingering demise is planned. Why I don’t know.

Some versions of Windows 10 will apparently still be shipped with IE still on board. Presumably you will have to go through the rigmarole of deleting it and replacing it when the new version is ready. Possibly a reason not to buy the new Windows 10 system until they get their act together.

internet-explorer-9

On the positive side, the new browser will be free. Not because Microsoft likes to give things away for free (that’s not what made Bill Gates the richest man in the world), but because they started that trend when they were trying to kill off Netscape, which they successfully did.

Since then no one pays for a browser. Apple, Google, Mozilla, Opera and the rest are all freebees these days. Inadvertently I suppose Microsoft did us all a big favor.

The only thing that scares me is the hype coming from Microsoft.

Statements like, “Microsoft’s change in direction is a smart, albeit bold, and a symbolic gesture.” don’t fill me with confidence. It is the same type of nonsense that preceded the release of ‘Windows Vista’ and ‘Windows 8’, and if you read last week’s post you will know what disasters I thought they were.

So will a change of name, or re-branding as Microsoft calls it, mean that their new browser will be a good one? The jury is still out on that. Like everything else we will have to wait and see. If they stick with the name ‘Spartan’ the implication would be that the new browser will be slick, fast and not memory hogging. That would indeed be good and a welcome changes from recent versions of Internet Explorer.

Having said that, I don’t think Google Chrome is in any imminent danger though.

Spartan Browser 2

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Ebay Accounts Are Forbidden.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Sadly WordPress doesn’t let you bid on these posts either. I wonder why not?

Still, never mind, we have another Pun Day to look forward too now.

So….

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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WANTED:

Assistant required to fill

hourglasses with sand.

No timewasters.

 hourglasses

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When bakers have a fight

They go at it all Buns Glazing.

 bakers fight buns

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My friend is really interested in magnets.

Personally, I can’t see the attraction.

 magnets

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Some bloke just barged into my caravan

accusing me of being the world’s worst psychic.

I don’t know what he was thinking.

 world's worst psychic

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I entered a cartoonist competition today,

there were five of us in it,

we drew..

 cartoonist drawing

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How do trespassers get in your house?

Intruder window.

 Intruder window

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This morning a beautiful blonde

came up to me in the street

and wrote her phone number on my hand

in bright yellow felt tip pen…

… It was the highlight of my day !

 bright yellow felt tip pen

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I gave my son a faceless coin.

He couldn’t make head nor tails of it.

 faceless coin

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If I see one more person misuse an apostrophe

I think Ill go completely nut’s !

 misuse an apostrophe

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I am permanently hooked up to a device

which gives me an electric shock

if I say something negative.

It’s not ideal, but I can’t complain

 electric shock

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I’ve noticed that chess players

always close the door behind them

Do you think they don’t like draughts?

 chess game thomas crown affair

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Somebody closed the lid on my piano.

Now i can’t open it because the keys are inside.

 closed lid on piano

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My friend has just directed his

own under-budget documentary,

“Living with the World’s Smallest Bath”.

I thought I’d give him a little plug.

 little plug

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You can tell the sex of an ant

by dropping it into a jug of water.

If it sinks: girl ant

If it floats: boy ant

 jug of water

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The number of people who shout

“Boo!”

to their friends has risen by 85%.

That’s a frightening statistic.

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Warning: Read Carefully, More Stupid Signs Ahead!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Heed the warning in the title, another selection of warning signs written for the chronically stupid follows.

That these have to be written is a tragedy in itself. That most of them seem to be written by they very people they are aimed at is one of those mysteries that may take years to solve.

In the meantime, enjoy.

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pointing left keep right sign

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“Malfunction: Too less water.”

A notice left on a coffee machine.

 malfunction

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“Prescriptions cannot be filled by phone.”

On a form in a clinic.

 phone

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“You could be a winner!

No purchase necessary.

Details inside.”

On a bag of Fritos.

 bag of Fritos

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“Fits one head.”

On a hotel-provided shower cap box.

 shower cap box

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“Payment is due by the due date.”

On a credit card statement.

 credit card statement

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“No small children.”

On a laundromat triple washer.

 laundromat triple washer

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“Warning: Ramp Ends In Stairs.”

A sign, correctly describing the end of a

concrete ramp intended for handicap access to a bridge.

 Warning Ramp Ends In Stairs

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“Take care: new non-slip surface.”

On a sign in front of a newly renovated ramp

that led to the entrance of a building.

 Take care new non-slip surface

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“In case of flood, proceed uphill.

In case of flash flood, proceed uphill quickly.”

One of the emergency safety procedures at a summer camp.

 summer camp

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“Ingredients: Artificially bleached flour, sugar,

vegetable fat, yeast, salt, gluten, soya flour,

emulsifier 472 (E) & 481, flour treatment agents,

enzymes, water.

May contain ……….fruit.”

The ingredients list on a package of fruit buns.

 package of fruit buns

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“100% pure yarn.”

On a sweater.

 sweater

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“Some materials may irritate sensitive skin.

Please look at the materials if you believe this may be the case.

Materials:

Covering: 100% Unknown.

Stuffing: 100% Unknown.”

On a pillow.

pillow

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Don’t Beam Me Up Just Yet, Scotty!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You will get what the title is all about later. Let’s just say for now I’ll still be buying my airplane tickets and enduring the rigors of airport security for a few years longer.

As for now it’s Fact Day so have a look at the current offerings.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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In cold weather keeping your cell phone

as close to your body as you can,

or in the inside pocket of an insulated base layer

will help keep it warm and prolong battery life.

 warm cell phone case

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In the West women usually start shopping for baby things

as soon as they discover they’re pregnant

but in China a pregnant Chinese woman will avoid

getting a stroller before her baby is born because

according to Chinese tradition it’s considered

bad luck to have an empty stroller in the house

while you’re pregnant.

 stroller

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The world’s oldest-known formula for toothpaste

was created by the ancient Egyptians

who used crushed rock salt, mint, dried iris flowers,

and pepper and mixed them to create a cleaning powder.

Research suggests this ancient toothpaste was more

effective than formulas used as recently as a century ago,

although it did have the unfortunate side effect

of causing bleeding gums.

 toothpaste

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A scientific study has suggested that if you

are stressing over an important test or exam,

writing down your feelings on a piece of paper

before an exam will allow you to achieve higher scores.

 writing down your feelings on a piece of paper

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Contrary to many theories,

the tongue does not have specific receptor areas

for bitter, sour, salty, and sweet flavors.

In fact, there is a fifth taste (umami, for savory/meaty flavors)

and all zones of the tongue can sense all flavors.

 all zones of the tongue can sense all flavors

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After banning the Nobel Prize,

Adolf Hitler developed his own version

– the German National Prize for Art and Science.

Ferdinand Porsche was one of the awardees

for being the man behind the world’s first

hybrid car and for the Volkswagen Beetle.

 German National Prize for Art and Science

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In a statement he gave to the New York Times in 1909,

Nikola Tesla predicted that it would soon be possible

to transmit messages via personal devices.

Today, we have wireless communication devices

that we bring with us anywhere we go.

 Nikola Tesla

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A month after the USSR sent Sputnik 1 into space,

they sent Sputnik 2, which was the first spacecraft

to carry an animal (a dog named Laika) into space.

However, despite the Soviets initially claiming that

Laika had survived in orbit for a week,

decades later official Russian sources revealed

that Laika lived only a few hours

before dying from overheating.

Brave little doggie though.

 Laika

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During WWI “Hello Girls,” as American

soldiers called them, were American women

who served as telephone operators for

Pershing’s forces in Europe.

The women were fluent in French and English

and were specially trained by the American

Telephone and Telegraph Company.

In 1979, the U.S. Army finally gave war medals

and veteran benefits to the few Hello Girls who were still alive.

 WWI Hello Girls

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In its early days YouTube’s founders used

Craigslist to try to popularize the site

by offering $100 to attractive girls who would

post ten or more videos of themselves.

Unfortunately, they didn’t get a single response.

 craigslist logo

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The phrase ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’

goes back to at least the mid-nineteenth century

as found in George Eliot’s ‘The Mill on the Floss’ (1860),

where Mr. Tulliver uses the phrase in discussing

Daniel Defoe’s ‘The History of the Devil’,

saying how it was beautifully bound.

Its general meaning today, of course, is that

we shouldn’t judge or make a decision about

someone or something based on a brief

impression or outward appearance.

Wise advice.

 Don’t judge a book by its cover

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Just as true champagne must hail from France,

tequila has Denomination of Origin,

meaning that it has to be produced in Mexico,

mainly in the western Mexican state of Jalisco.

The states of Guanajuato, Michoacan, Nayarit,

and Tamaulipas are also acceptable.

 taquila bottles

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Located in the city of Taipei in Taiwan, the

D.S. Music Restaurant has nothing to do with music at all.

In fact, it is a bizarre hospital-themed restaurant

where waitresses are all dressed as nurses,

tables are made from metal hospital beds,

drinks are served in IV bottles and

walls are decorated with X-ray scans.

 D.S. Music Restaurant Taiwan

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Remember the teleporter Star Trek?

Well, it’s no longer science fiction because now

matter can be dissolved into particles, transported

and reassembled at another location.

However, it won’t be available for use on humans

in the near future because at the moment,

whilst it is indeed possible to scan every molecule

in the human body and reassemble it in another area,

according to Quantum physics, scanning and

reassembling changes the entire object.

You can’t make an exact copy.

So don’t beam me up just yet, Scotty!

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Trophies, Medals And Loads Of Points In Today’s Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes there are questions about trophies and medals in today’s quiz, but most importantly there are loads of points to be collected – if you get the answers correct, of course.

And remember, if you do get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  What is known as ‘The Eternal City’ ?

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Q.  2:  In which sport is the ‘Vince Lombardi Trophy’ awarded?

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Q.  3:  What acid accumulates in the muscles once the anaerobic threshold is passed when doing exercise?

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Q.  4:  Who surrendered to whom, where and when to formally mark the end of the American Civil War? (A point for each correct answer, so a maximum of four points available.)

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Q.  5:  In which country are the ‘Angel Falls’, the world’s highest waterfall?

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Q.  6:  Who was the ‘sea green incorruptible’ who lead the reign of Terror in the French Revolution?

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Q.  7:  What was the name of the first spacecraft was the first to reach the Moon’s immediate orbit, and the first to be placed in heliocentric orbit?

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Q.  8:  Which major spiral galaxy is the closest to the Milky Way?

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Q.  9:  What is an ‘ECG’ used to show and in this context what do the letters ‘E-C-G’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 10:  Which alkane, chemical formula ‘CH4’, occurs naturally in oil wells, marshes and cow farts?

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Q. 11:  This Irish-born soldier and diplomat, was also one of the first graduates from Harvard, and had one of London’s most famous streets named after him, what was his name?

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Q. 12:  How high is the top of a badminton net above the court?

            a) 3 feet            b) 4 feet            c) 5 feet            d) 6 feet

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Q. 13:  Which lead character was the budding author in the ‘The Waltons’ ? (And a bonus point for each of the actors who played this character.)

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Q. 14:  What is the correct title for someone who shoes horses?

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Q. 15:  Who was a searcher, a quiet man and a shootist amongst other things?

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Q. 16:  Which garden is considered to be among the ‘Seven Wonders of the Ancient World’ ?

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Q. 17:  What is another word for ‘lexicon’ ?

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Q. 18:  What American outlaw had a brother called Frank and was killed by a member of his own gang. (Bonus points if you correctly name each of the following, the gang and the man who killed him.)

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Q. 19:  Where would you find the abbreviation for the Japanese manufacturing company Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha?

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Q. 20:  Which movie actor was the most decorated American soldier in World War Two?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is known as ‘The Eternal City’ ?

A.  1:  Rome.

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Q.  2:  In which sport is the ‘Vince Lombardi Trophy’ awarded?

A.  2:  American Football.

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Q.  3:  What acid accumulates in the muscles once the anaerobic threshold is passed when doing exercise?

A.  3:  Lactic Acid.

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Q.  4:  Who surrendered to whom, where and when to formally mark the end of the American Civil War? (A point for each correct answer, so a maximum of four points available.)

A.  4:  General Robert E. Lee surrendered of his Confederate Army to Union Army  Lt. Gen. Ulysses S. Grant, at the Appomattox Court House, Virginia on April 9, 1865.

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Q.  5:  In which country are the ‘Angel Falls’, the world’s highest waterfall?

A.  5:  Venezuela.

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Q.  6:  Who was the ‘sea green incorruptible’ who lead the reign of Terror in the French Revolution?

A.  6:  Maximilien Robespierre. (You get the point for correctly giving the surname only.)

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Q.  7:  What was the name of the first spacecraft was the first to reach the Moon’s immediate orbit, and the first to be placed in heliocentric orbit?

A.  7:  It was the Soviet ‘Luna 1’.

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Q.  8:  Which major spiral galaxy is the closest to the Milky Way?

A.  8:  The Andromeda galaxy.

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Q.  9:  What is an ‘ECG’ used to show and in this context what do the letters ‘E-C-G’ stand for? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  9:  The ECG shows heart activity and rhythm and it stands for electrocardiogram.

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Q. 10:  Which alkane, chemical formula ‘CH4’, occurs naturally in oil wells, marshes and cow farts?

A. 10:  Methane.

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Q. 11:  This Irish-born soldier and diplomat, was also one of the first graduates from Harvard, and had one of London’s most famous streets named after him, what was his name?

A. 11:  His name was Sir George Downing, and Downing Street, the official residence of the British Prime Minister is named after him. (And, yes, you get the point if you just said ‘Downing’.)

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Q. 12:  How high is the top of a badminton net above the court?

            a) 3 feet            b) 4 feet            c) 5 feet            d) 6 feet

A. 12:  The correct answer is c) 5 feet.

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Q. 13:  Which lead character was the budding author in the ‘The Waltons’ ? (And a bonus point for each of the actors who played this character.)

A. 13:  Officially ‘John “John-Boy” Walton Jr.’ but you get the point for just ‘John-Boy’. He was played by Richard Thomas in the pilot and series seasons 1–5, as well as guest appearances in season 6 and in the three movie sequels; Robert Wightman played ‘John-Boy’ in seasons 8–9 and one movie sequel.

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Q. 14:  What is the correct title for someone who shoes horses?

A. 14:  A farrier.

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Q. 15:  Who was a searcher, a quiet man and a shootist amongst other things?

A. 15:  John Wayne.

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Q. 16:  Which garden is considered to be among the ‘Seven Wonders of the Ancient World’ ?

A. 16:  The Hanging Gardens of Babylon.

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Q. 17:  What is another word for ‘lexicon’ ?

A. 17:  Dictionary.

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Q. 18:  What American outlaw had a brother called Frank and  was killed by a member of his own gang. (A bonus point if you correctly name each of the following, the gang and the man who killed him.)

A. 18:  His name was Jesse James, and for your bonus points the gang was the ‘James-Younger Gang’ and the member who killed him was ‘Robert Ford’, who hoped to collect a reward on James’ head.

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Q. 19:  Where would you find the abbreviation for the Japanese manufacturing company Yoshida Kogyo Kabushikikaisha?

A. 19:  The abbreviation is obviously YKK and it can be found on almost every zipper in the world. Take a look at your zippers if you don’t believe me.

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Q. 20:  Which movie actor was the most decorated American soldier in World War Two?

A. 20:  Audie Murphy.  (For the record some of his decorations were the Bronze Star with “V” Device and Bronze Oak Leaf Cluster, Distinguished Service Cross, Presidential Unit Citation and Bronze Oak Leaf Cluster, Purple Heart and Bronze and 2 Oak Leaf Clusters, Silver Star and Bronze Oak Leaf Cluster, Medal of Honor, Legion of Merit, American Campaign Medal, European–African–Middle Eastern Campaign Medal, World War II Victory Medal, Army of Occupation Medal, French Legion of Honor – Grade of Chevalier, French Croix de guerre with Silver Star, French Croix de guerre with Palm, French Liberation Medal, French Fourragère in Colors of the Croix de guerre, Belgian Croix de guerre with 1940 Palm.)

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Happy Birthday Dot.Com

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

dot com

Yesterday I was looking through the windows. Today it’s dot coms.

Technically I’m a week late but I thought I would wish good old Dot.Com many happy returns anyway.

Thirty years ago, on March 15th 1985, the first dot.com domain name was registered. It was symbolics.com.

It wasn’t a significant event at the time because way back in 1985 about the only people using the internet on a commercial basis were US government contractors. Ecommerce giants such as Amazon.com and Ebay.com hadn’t even been thought of.

It has all changed since then of course. Slowly at first, only four other dot.coms were registered in 1985, but now thirty years on the total number of registered top-level domains, or TLDs as they are known sometimes, has surpassed 288 million and showing no signs of stopping.

That total includes over 115 million dot coms, which are still the most sought after and most valuable, but there are also dot nets, dot orgs, dot biz, dot infos and a host of others. In fact more than 500 new TLDs are being added to the internet right now, with another 500 in the pipeline.

tlds

And the dot com era has spawned an entirely new industry. These names are now traded like commodities, most worth a few bucks, but quite a number making it to 6 and 7 figures (that’s over $1million!).

So what happened to the symbolics.com name? It was eventually sold off for an undisclosed sum to a Dallas, Texas-based investor group in August 2009.

Like I said at the start, Happy Birthday Dot.com, the first thirty years have been good.

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Looking Through The Windows

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Looking Through The Windows

Have you noticed that Microsoft Windows operating systems follow a distinct pattern?

By that I mean that after a fairly decent stable version, it inflicts a bloated piece of trash on the poor consumer. Software that is invariably rushed out to the public before it is ready, or before someone in the company has had the decency to take it out behind the Microsoft barn and shoot it.

Invariably each new version of Windows is hailed by Microsoft as “the best Windows yet”. You can understand that advertising hype I suppose, but it just ain’t true, they only get it right about half of the time.

The other half, Microsoft takes a good idea and turns it into a bad one as it tries to be new and trendy and interesting. It invariably ends in disaster.

Windows XP

After a number of faltering tries, most of which I experienced during my long love affair with computers that I previously wrote about on this blog (click here if you want to read it), we eventually got a decent operating system that Microsoft called ‘Windows XP’. It was stable, did everything reasonably well, didn’t suffer from too many dreaded blue screens, if any, and everyone was happy, particularly business users which are Microsoft’s bread and butter.

I know some people who are still happily using ‘XP’ despite its lack of updates to fix security issues like new hacks or threats now that Microsoft has finally ditched it.

Sadly, Microsoft followed the ‘XP’ success with a thing they called ‘Windows Vista’. As usual it was intended to be breakthrough technology. They tell me it was the brainchild of Bill Gates himself.

Windows Vista bad

However, ‘Windows Vista’ had one big flaw.

To put it bluntly, it was a piece of crap!

Most people, with the exception of the idiots who have to have every shiny new thing that is announced whether it is any good or not, stayed well away from ‘Vista’, and wisely so. Just to see what all the complaints were about my curiosity made me load it on to an old machine. I persevered with it for a couple of days before taking it off my computer for ever, never the easiest thing to do with Microsoft operating systems but I did it. I had to. It was dreadful.

I continued happily with ‘XP’ until it was time to change my laptop. The new one came with a 64bit version of ‘Windows 7’ on board. I had read good things about ‘Windows 7’ and they were largely true. It was a good system.

Windows 7

In fact a lot of people agree, because ‘Windows 7’ runs on about fifty-five per cent of the World’s PCs. ‘Windows 7’ was a winner because it didn’t try to make a big splash by attempting to do everything everything else did, only worse. It was just a good stable operating system that worked.

‘Vista’ became a distant memory, people were happy once more.

But then Microsoft went and did it again.

Instead of allowing ‘Windows 7’ to stay on as a cash cow, their idiot designers thought it was time for a new breed in the herd.

They ignored everything that was good about ‘Windows 7’ and, in a nerd-like stupor of unreality, decided what the world needed was not something that they were familiar with and liked, but something they wouldn’t know how to use and that would frustrate the hell out of them.

So it was that the horrible ‘Windows 8’ was conceived and born. It ignored the desktop and most of the laptop markets completely and aimed itself squarely at the touch-tablet system, Microsoft thinking that was where everyone was going. They didn’t say so, but a big part of their plan was to try to get kick Google’s ass because its ‘Android’ operating system for mobile devices and tablets had become a dominant market force (80%+ of the market).

It could all have been so different if the arrogant know-alls at Microsoft had listened to what people were telling them when they did exhaustive testing for ‘Windows 8’ before releasing it. About 1.24 billion hours of testing was done pre-release and all the feedback ignored, presumably because it was overwhelmingly negative.

Windows 8

Needless to say, when ‘Windows 8’ did hit the market it failed.

In fact it failed on all levels.

It alienated the desktop and laptop users. Business users didn’t want it and ordinary consumers didn’t want it either. It was so bad it wasn’t even popular with the mobile device users it was aimed at.

Microsoft got themselves stuck with one of the least wanted versions of Windows in the history of the company and that’s saying something!

‘Windows 8’ is so bad it has even eclipsed the hated ‘Vista’ in the league of things you never want near your computer.

It’s not just my opinion. Microsoft’s share of the PC and tablet market on ‘Windows 8’ is only just a little over 10 per cent and quite a lot of that is made up of people who didn’t have a choice when they bought a new machine with this catastrophe pre-loaded on it.

So what have I got on my computer?

I’m glad you asked. I have ‘Windows 8’!

WTF?

No, wait, I’m not a hypocrite, not completely.

‘Windows 7’ is no longer available since Microsoft stopped retailers and PC makers from selling and installing it.  It has entered into what Microsoft calls an ‘extended support mode’, but this only means that from now on all you will get will be new bug fixes, if and when problems crop up.

So when I needed to upgrade my laptop the dreaded ‘Windows 8.1’ was all that was available. They call it version ‘8.1’ because it is 0.1 percent less horrible than version ‘8’, but that’s still nowhere near being even average, let alone good!

Of course, trying to regain my dignity and sanity, I immediately tweaked the whole horrible mess that ‘Windows 8.1’ is, for example, adding back the start button (like ‘Windows 7’), loading a proper desktop version of ‘Skype’ instead of the irritating piece of crap app that is bundled with ‘Windows 8’, and doing some more bits and bobs to make the thing actually work like a ‘Windows 7’ machine. The bloated and useless ‘Metro’ start screen is also gone and I boot right to my familiar desktop.

The only reason I didn’t dump the whole shebang and load on my old ‘Windows 7’ program was because the new ‘Windows 10’ version is so tantalizingly close.

‘Windows 10’ ? Wait a minute. What happened to ‘Windows 9’ ?

Windows 9

There are a lot of theories about what has happened to ‘Windows 9’. Personally I think Microsoft already had it in development as another souped up version of ‘Windows 8’ when they launched ‘Windows 8’. But when they saw what a disaster that was they just ditched the whole thing and put all their efforts into ‘Windows 10’.

The official line from Microsoft says they have called the new operating system ‘Windows 10’ because they wanted to emphasize that it is is not a simple step up from ‘Windows 8’ but is a huge change for the company from the way they build Windows to how it will be deployed.

In plain English what that means is that Microsoft themselves know what a crappy program ‘Windows 8’ was and are trying to put some distance even in their numbering system between it and their new baby.

Windows 10

That aside, from what I have read so far, ‘Windows 10’ is a step back towards ‘Windows 7’ rather than a move ahead to where ‘Windows 8’ was trying to go. In other words, ‘Windows 10’ is bringing back the parts of the Windows desktop stupidly dumped by the designers of ‘Windows 8’.

At last Microsoft has hit the reality wall with a big slap and realized that safe and familiar is what the vast majority of their consumers want. The detestable immersive UI experience that forced bewildered users into the flawed ‘Metro’ world is gone and the desktop environment is back. And so is the beloved start button – hurrah!

Sanity has returned!

No, wait a minute, this is Microsoft what are you thinking?

‘Metro’ is still there, although in a much toned down version, with ‘Metro-looking’ apps that can be run in the desktop environment.

Apparently Microsoft has also integrated its digital assistant ‘Cortana’, the rival to Apple’s ‘Siri’ and Google’s ‘Now’, which made its debut on the unwanted ‘Windows Phone’. On the phones, ‘Cortana’ is used for voice-activated calls and searches, mapping, location and to launch apps. I’m guessing it will be on ‘Windows 10’ for the same reasons, but how much use people will make of it remains to be seen and heard.

I have also read that with ‘Windows 10’ comes a new Windows browser, codenamed ‘Spartan’, which may or may not integrate with ‘Cortana’. If it is a better browser than IE that will be a good thing, but don’t hold your breath on that score, after all IE versions just kept getting worse and worse when compared to something like ‘Google Chrome’. Another point against it in my book is that it has been designed as an app rather than a proper program so the jury is still out on it. I think I’ll still be using ‘Google Chrome’!

It is a bit obvious that the idea of adding these, really unnecessary, features, to ‘Windows 10’ is an attempt by Microsoft glamorize the new operating system and, by no means least, a smoke and mirrors attempt by the company to divert attention away from the fact that it has stuffed ‘Windows 8’ in the bin where it always belonged.

So for now we just to wait and hope. On past performance, after such a turkey as ‘Windows 8’, the next Microsoft version of its operating system should be good. It has to be better. It wouldn’t be possible to do worse.

But you never know for sure with Microsoft.

One final thought.

If your name was ‘Gates’ why would you call your operating system ‘Windows’ instead? Did he suspect right from the start that there would be embarrassing catastrophes ahead and didn’t want his family name associated with them?

As I said, just a thought.

open-gate-meadow-field-peaceful-43309059

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A Good Pun Is It’s Own Reword.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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An English Prince and a German with a problem feature in today’s word play.

Plus a lot more for you to….

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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I’m really big in Japan.

I’m 5′ 10″.

 short japanese

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My friend has a heroin addiction.

He can’t stop reading

Wonder Woman comics.

 Wonder Woman comics

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I’ve just watched a documentary

on TV about belching.

I think it was a repeat.

 belching

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The camping shop were advertising

their new tent in the window,

They call it the ‘Shakespeare’.

The sign said…

This is the discount of our winter tent.

 Shakespeare now is the winter of our discontent

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I just got fired from my job,

where I disposed of dangerous

materials from building sites.

I don’t know why, though.

I did asbestos I could!

 asbestos removal

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I was reading the newspaper to a

friend of mine who is blind.

One notice said there was a faith healer

performing in town tonight who reckons he

can cure anything, even blindness.

My friend said he might turn up to that,

just to see.

 blind man

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Those who believe that love conquers all

have never played tennis.

 tennis score

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I went to a party for meteorologists yesterday.

Lovely atmosphere.

 party for meteorologists

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I saw a capsized boat today.

It was very small.

 capsized boat

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What do you call a German whose honest

about their flatulence problem?

A Frankfarter.

 flatulence problem

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I just read that the movie POMPEII is on tonight.

I haven’t even seen the first Pompe yet.

 pompeii-movie-poster

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I had an out of body experience yesterday.

I was completely beside myself.

 out of body experience simpsons

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As the chauffeur opened the door

for Prince Charles he said,

“Still raining, sir.”

“Yes,” said Prince Charles,

“but she can’t go on forever.”

 Prince Charles

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Buzz Aldrin’s best pick-up line.

“Hey, I was the second man on the moon.

Neil before me.”

 Buzz Aldrin on the Moon

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“Son, you’re just not cut out to be a mime.”

“Is it something I said?”

“Yes.”

a mime

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