“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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But make sure a few of those words are puns.
Which is my way of welcoming you to another pun day.
Enjoy or endure!!
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A little birdie told me my
golf skills were improving.
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Someone asked me how many haircuts I’d had in my life.
I said, “off the top of my head, about 250.”
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I used to file my nails, but I thought:
‘what’s the point in keeping them?’
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Maths problems, the only place where
someone can buy 60 watermelons
and no one wonders why.
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I’m not going to make jokes from mixed metaphors
– too many other people have milked that bandwagon already.
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I was recently asked if as a young boy,
was my mother very strict with me.
I said, ‘let me get one thing straight,
my mother was never a young boy.’
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Whilst holidaying in Madrid with the lads,
my friend Dave suffered a heart attack in a bar,
however we were all surprised when he was
skillfully revived by a retired Doctor
who appeared out of nowhere…
… No one expects the Spanish Ex-Physician.
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Met this girl in a club last night.
I said, “Do you like cocktails?”
She said, “I don’t know, tell me one.”
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I said to my friend, “It’s important that no-one
mentions any film production companies.”
“How important is it?” he asked.
“Paramount,” I replied.
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I met the bloke who invented crosswords today.
I can’t remember his name.
It’s P something T something R.
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My agent said I should use a pen name,
so from now on I am calling myself
‘Bic Parker’.
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Thanks to Gwen Stefani,
I can now spell Bananas.
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fasab 