Fifteen Fascinating Facts From Fasab’s Flipping Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I seem to be running out of ‘F’ words for my titles to these. Sorry for the repetition but I’m trying to avoid using the obvious in case it might offend.

Nevertheless, it’s time for a few more strange facts. Curious things that you probably never knew or even though of before. After you read this, of course, you will know them, whether you care to ever think of them again is entirely up to you.

Enjoy.

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If you mouth the word “Colorful”

it looks like you are mouthing “I Love You”.

animated-gif-love-you .

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Astronauts have a patch of velcro inside their helmets

so they can scratch their nose

astronaut velcro .

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Your cell phone has more bacteria than a toilet seat

toilet phone .

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About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in the U.S. everyday.

large pizza .

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It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery

than the celery had in it to begin with.

celery .

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Cleopatra married two of her brothers.

cleopatra .

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A single cup of gasoline, when ignited,

has the same explosive power as five sticks of dynamite.

ignition .

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Keeping you car tuned up is a good way to save on gas.

A car that is tuned up is 9% more efficient on gas.

tune up .

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Acupuncture was first used as a medical treatment

in 2700 BC by Chinese Emperor Shen-Nung.

acupuncture cartoon .

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13% of Americans actually believe

that some parts of the moon are made of cheese.

moon cheese .

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A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

ferret .

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In ancient Rome,

when a man gave sworn evidence in court

he would swear on his testicles,

hence the term testifying.

holding .

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John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln’s son.

Lincoln and son .

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There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

Rolling-the-Dice-in-Craps .

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The word “lethologica” describes the state of

not being able to remember the word you want.

lethologica 

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Did you try mouthing the word “Colorful” in a mirror?

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Let’s Have Some More Pun Today

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for a few more puns for those of you who like a bit of word play, or just enjoy some bad jokes dressed up as clever stuff.

Enjoy.

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You know prices are rising when you buy a winter jacket and even down is up.

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I met a girl at an internet cafe, but we didn’t click.

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Einstein developed a theory about space, and it was about time too.

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I used to be addicted to soap, but I’m clean now.          

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The indecisive rower couldn’t choose either oar.

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5000 hares have escaped from the zoo.

The police are combing the area.

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The blind guy was sure he could master braille once he got a feel for it.

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The trailer for the movie was produced without a hitch!

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Did you hear about the beautiful but strict high school teacher?

She was easy on the eyes and hard on the pupils!

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I’m reading a book about anti-gravity.

It’s impossible to put down.

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Scientist one: “I’m going to try to clone myself.”

Scientist two: “Now wouldn’t that be just like you!”

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Jill broke her finger today, but on the other hand she was completely fine.

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I’m inclined to be laid back.

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I did a theatrical performance about puns. Really it was just a play on words.      

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Don’t trust people who do acupuncture, they’re back stabbers.

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My wife tells me I’m a skeptic – but I don’t believe a word she says.        

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In the room the curtains were drawn, but the rest of the furniture was real.

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A pun about a monorail always makes for a decent one-liner!

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And finally, did you hear about the girl who got fired from the hot dog stand for putting her hair in a bun?

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I Suppose I Should Be Doing These On A Punday Not A Thursday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I got an email recently from Paul Ryan (well, probably one of his little helpers) inviting me to some kind of election shin-dig they were having. How he got my email address I don’t know because I haven’t signed up for anything even resembling political.

Whoever wins, we get the same people really in charge. There can be no doubt about that after Obama’s four years of “no we can’t” and changing nothing of consequence.

And then there was the debate in Denver. By all accounts a win for Romney and a lackluster performance by Obama. A CBS News poll of “uncommitted voters”, gave Romney 46% as opposed to 22% for Obama (with 32% calling it a tie).

Not that performance in debates count for much in the long run, but this one has made an “unshakable” lead for Obama into a much closer competition – until the next debate anyway – which might turn what has been a relatively dull campaign into something more exciting. Don’t hold your breath, though.

 

Meantime we have much more important things to investigate and to lighten the mood.

Yes, from pundit to punday, another excuse for more bad jokes, using the clever ploy of the pun.

Can you take it?

If you can, then enjoy.

 

 

You feel stuck with your debt if you can’t budge it.

 

 

Is the Local Area Network in Australia – the LAN down under?

 

 

Every calendar’s days are numbered.

 

 

A lot of money is tainted – taint yours and taint mine.

 

 

A boiled egg in the morning is hard to beat.

 

 

He had a photographic memory that was never developed.

 

 

Bakers trade bread recipes on a knead-to-know basis.

 

 

Are Santa’s helpers subordinate clauses?

 

 

Acupuncture is a jab well done.

 

 

Show me a piano falling down a mineshaft and I’ll show you A-flat minor.

 

 

Seven days without a pun makes one weak.

 

 

When the actress saw her first strands of gray hair she thought she’d dye.

 

 

When a scientist was doing a large experiment with liquid chemicals to try to solve a problem he accidentally fell in and became part of the solution.

 

 

If you leave alphabet soup on the stove and go out, could it spell disaster?

 

 

After they bought a water bed, the couple started to drift apart.

 

 

To write with a broken pencil is pointless.

 

 

The best way to communicate with a fish is to drop them a line.

 

 

Marathon runners with bad footwear suffer the agony of defeat.

 

 

Rabbits like their beer brewed with a lot of hops.

 

 

Once you’ve seen one shopping center, you’ve seen a mall.

 

 

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