Need To Spend A Penny? Find Out Where You Can’t In Today’s Fact File.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Spending a penny is becoming more and more difficult these days, especially if you are in the US military as you will see. But then they are trained to take the pressure.

More fabulous facts below.

Enjoy.

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US penny

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Stores on US military bases around the world

don’t accept pennies as currency because they are

“too heavy and are not cost-effective to ship”.

Stores on US military bases

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A person’s pupils will dilate if they are lying.

In fact, because this is an involuntary behavior

it is usually a good indication.

dilated pupil

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The world’s first female American self-made millionaire,

Madame C.J. Walker, made her fortune

in the early 20th century cosmetics industry.

A black man appeared to her in a dream

and told her the mixture which would help

her falling-out hair grow back in.

It worked, and she enjoyed a lengthy career

selling her cosmetics products.

Madame C.J. Walker

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Australia’s National Science Agency

claims to have basically invented wi-fi

and has even sued over it.

But sure we all know it was Al Gore,

or was that the internet he didn’t invent?

Australia's National Science Agency CSIRO_headquarters

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Still on the subject of the internet,

when Montenegro gained its independence

from Yugoslavia its top level internet

domain went from .yu to .me

Montenegro

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And yet more Internet goodies,

in 1993 there were only 623 websites.

Today, more than 100,000 domain names

are registered every single day

List-of-Internet-top-level-domains

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The Incas constructed buildings without mortar,

the huge stones they used fitting together

so perfectly and tightly that

nothing could get between them.

machu-picchu-masonry - Incas constructed buildings without mortar

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In China reincarnation is illegal.

Unless you have permission from the government.

(But how would they know if you came back

as an American or maybe a dog?)

China reincarnation is illegal

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The first submarine attack in history

took place in New York Harbor in 1776.

The colonists attempted to attach gunpowder

to the hull of the British ship HMS Eagle

using a submersible they called ‘The Turtle’.

Turtle_submarine_first submarine attack in history took place in New York Harbor in 1776

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NASA will send you a text message

whenever the International Space Station

passes over your location.

International Space Station

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Is there such a thing as a jinx?

Abraham Lincoln’s son Robert Todd Lincoln

was by his father’s side as he passed away.

He then went on to witness the assassination

of President James Garfield.

Twenty years later, in 1901,  President William McKinley

invited him to the Pan-American exposition in New York

and on that day President McKinley was also assassinated.

Robert decided to decline any presidential invitations

from that day forth.

Robert Todd Lincoln

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I Never Contradict Myself, But I Do Sometimes.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, another day to play with words, or on words, or perhaps a bit of both.

Whatever you think is more appropriate, enjoy!

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rofl

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“Welcome to the society of people scared of decimal numbers.”

“I’m glad I managed to round you all up”

decimals

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Two communists in a nudist camp.

One says to other “have you read marx comrade?”

The other replied “Yes I think its the wicker furniture.”

giraffe-cartoon-nudist-camp

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The photocopier in my office broke.

So I called in my secretary, Tracey.

broken photocopier

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It might be me, but I just can’t think

of a better word to describe myself.

dot-me-logo

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Norman Bates, motel, shower, stab, blood,

Alfred Hitchcock, secretary, mother, knife,

Janet Leigh, bank, steal.

That’s just Psychobabble.

Psycho_(1960)

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When I worked at the funfair I used to think

that life was all swings and roundabouts.

fun_fair_by_shadowdraco

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I went crazy after I couldn’t open the new door I’d just fitted.

In hindsight I should have handled it better.

broken door handle

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My teacher asked me to name all the presidents,

which is ridiculous as they already have names.

mt-rushmore-cartoonfrederator-studios

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I had a scary moment when I was taking the packaging off

my expensive new bookcase with a sharp knife.

I damn near slit my shelf.

bookshelves

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My wife couldn’t believe she got sacked for

misplacing the company’s new storefront sign.

She’s lost four words.

lost for words

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Someone just robbed me and stole my watch.

I would have chased them,

but I didn’t have the time.

Black_and_White_Dog_Cartoon_of_a_Dog_Selling_Stolen_Watches_clipart_image

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It’s the final of the Microwave Challenge Contest tonight.

Things will get heated.

microwave

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My English teacher accused me of plagiarizing everything I write.

I didn’t make this up.

teacher pupil plagiarizing

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Hollywood producers are in talks with Dustin Hoffman

to star in a film about a Zulu warrior who dresses as a woman

to try and make it as an actor.

They’re going to call it Tutsi.

tootsie-con-dustin-hoffman

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Workers protested at a bread factory

in France because of their low income.

Their manager comes up and says,

“No pain, no gain.”

pain-de-france

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I used to own a laxatives company.

Business was hard at first and it was eventually liquidated.

laxatives blowout specials

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“Well we’re not getting on your big boat.”

the two Unicorns told Noah.

It was anarchy.

unicorns

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Just bought a really basic pair of shears.

They’re not cutting hedge anyway.

hedge shears

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I did some work experience at a drug rehab centre.

They were very thorough: they left no intern stoned.

drug rehab

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The last wedding I was invited to went off without a hitch.

The groom didn’t turn up.

Cartoon_of_a_Bride_Left_at_the_Alter_clipart_image

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