Did You Know? – Here Are Some More Things You Probably Didn’t.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fact finding day on the fasab blog.

Fifteen more very random but hopefully interesting facts that you probably didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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did you know4

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If you live in France,

and happen to own a pig,

it is illegal to name it ‘Napoleon’.

pig Napoleon

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50 of the 83 restaurants

featured on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

have been sold or shut down.

ramsays-kitchen-nightmares

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In Turkey, it is illegal for a man

over 80 years old to become a pilot.

pilot turkey

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It took 127 beers to make Andre The Giant

pass out in a hotel lobby;

 he was so big, hotel management couldn’t

move him and left him there until the next day.

Andres-Hand-beer

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If you have the plague you are not

permitted to flag down a taxi in London.

London taxi

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If a set of identical twin women

married a set of identical twin men

and subsequently had children,

their kids would genetically be siblings.

nicoleandjaqueline

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Every year Louis Vuitton burns

all of its unsold stock of bags.

Louis_Vuitton_Speedy_Hand_Bags

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It is against the law in Barbados to wear any camouflage clothing,

but, hey, if it’s good enough whose going to notice?

bushgreen camouflage

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Sean Connery wore a wig in every

one of his Bond performances.

Sean Connery James Bond

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Whilst chewing gum in Singapore is not illegal,

importing it, or selling it,

or spitting it on to the pavement definitely is.

Singapore gum sign

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Peter Sellers was paid $1 million for his

part in the movie Dr. Strangelove,

55 percent of the film’s budget.

peter-sellers-as-dr-strangelove

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In Canada stores are not

legally required to accept coins

Canadian-Specimen-Set-Coins

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The United Arab Emirates donated a laptop

to every high school student in Joplin, Missouri,

after the city had been devastated by a tornado.

Joplin, Missouri after tornado

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Astronaut Pete Conrad’s first sentence on the moon was

“Oooh, is that soft an queasy”,

said in order to win a $500 bet.

pete conrad

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And speaking of the Moon,

the Moonwalk predates Michael Jackson by at least 50 years,

having been performed by James Brown, David Bowie,

Dick Van Dyke and Cab Calloway.

(MJ is still the best at it though.)

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A Day Not Sober Is Often A Day Wasted!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A day not sober is often a day wasted and a week without a pun day just isn’t worth thinking about.

So here you are, another short selection of the jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I always have a great laugh when I’m mountain climbing.

I find them hilly areas.

hilly areas

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The worst job I ever had was working in

a factory making cowboy records.

Howdy pressing.

howdy

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Say what you like about iPhones, but you can’t

speak I’ll about their clever autocorrect feature.

autocorrect dad-mom-out

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I spent all morning walking around in the wife’s panties.

She’s a big woman.

big-mamas-undies

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Had to fire my tailor.

It was nothing personal,

he just didn’t seam right.

suits-that-fit-bad-too-big-too-smal1

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My friend told me he was going to

a fancy dress party as an Italian island.

I said to him “Don’t be Sicily!”

sicily_malta_map

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I went to the Job Centre and all they

offered me was a job making beds.

I turned them down.

turndown

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My friend Dave asked me if I wanted him to

recite the first twenty one letters of the alphabet to me.

“It’s up to U” I replied.

up2u

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I used to have more money than sense,

Nowadays I’m broke AND stupid.

22-carat-gold-toilet-paper-for-the-rich-and-stupid-from-the-toilet-paper-man-in-australia-theflyingtortoise

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At last night’s pub quiz, a question came up:

“What is another name for a grey goose?”

I just couldn’t think of the Anser.

anser_erythropus

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My neighbor asked me what I thought of her kids.

I said, “They should go far.”

Brimming with pride, she said “Really?”

“Yes,” I said, “And the sooner they start, the better.”

bad kids

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Two removal men got into an argument.

They took it outside.

cartoon-removal-men

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Been using this blog to try my hand at writing.

So far, it’s being a lot more successful than my foot.

writing

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I have decided to start a company where all the money

made will buy bread for Indian children’s curries.

It will be a naan profit organization.

naan

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When I was a teenager my mum always used to say

that my room was so messy I’d never

get any ‘self respecting girl’ to go in there.

Luckily those weren’t the girls I was after.

drunk-girl

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Did You Know? The Fact File Is Open Again.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The fact file is open again and here are fifteen more gems of wisdom to peruse at your leisure.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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100,000,000,000 solar neutrinos pass through

every square inch of your body every second.

(I thought I felt something!)

solar neutrinos

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The northern border of Delaware is curved,

with all points being exactly 12 miles from

the old court house in New Castle.

delaware state map

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James Barrie, author of Peter Pan, never had kids,

but he did have a special affection for the children of others.

In 1929 he signed over the rights for Peter Pan to a London hospital

that specialized in pediatric medicine.

James Barrie

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The celery stick garnish became a staple of the Bloody Mary

only after an impatient patron at Chicago’s Pump Room

couldn’t wait for his server to bring him a swizzle stick.

He took matters into his own hands and

snatched a celery stalk from a nearby relish tray.

Bloody-Mary

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Ice Cream was served to new arrivals at Ellis Island.

However, since most people hadn’t encountered it before,

they simply figured it was butter and spread it on their toast.

Ice-Cream

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The state fish of Hawaii is the “humuhumunukunukuapua’a”.

The Hawaiian name roughly translates to “the fish with a pig-like nose.”

It’s English name is the Reef Triggerfish.

humuhumunukunukuapua'a

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Director John Landis includes the phrase

“See you next Wednesday” in most of his films.

It was the title of a script he wrote as a teen.

John_Landis

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Al Capone estimated that he spent $30 million a year

to pay off judges, police, elected officials, and newspapermen.

al-capone 88

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The first artist signed to the Beatles’ Apple Records label

was singer-songwriter James Taylor.

James_Taylor

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Clifton Keith Hillegass is the “Cliff” behind Cliff’s Notes.

He started his company in 1958 when he

published 16 Shakespearian study guides.

CliffsNotes

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Birds cock their heads at the ground not to listen for prey

(such as insects or worms) but to better see them.

bird cocking head

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Although the National Association for the Advancement

of Colored People clearly stated its mission in its title,

W.E.B. Du Bois was the only African American

on the NAACP’s first board of directors.

W.E.B. Du Bois

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Contrary to popular belief, a camel’s hump does not store water.

Instead, it’s filled with fat, which allows the animal to go for a month without food.

If the hump becomes depleted, it will shrink, flop over, and hang at the camel’s side.

bactrian camel 2

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A Mercurian day is longer than its year.

Mercury revolves around the sun very quickly,

but rotates around its axis very, very slowly.

One day on Mercury (sunrise to sunrise) is longer than

one year on Mercury (one orbit around the Sun).

Mercuryday

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The flashes of colored light you see when you

rub your eyes are called “phosphenes.”

phosphene_by_preritjain-d4j91wh

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The term “paparazzi” comes from Paparazzo,

a fictional freelance photographer

in the 1960 Fellini film La Dolce Vita.

paparazzi

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Construction of the Pentagon began in 1941 

–  on September 11th.

(Spooky-woo!)

Pentagon_construction

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John Lennon’s 1975 single “Number Nine Dream”

peaked on the Billboard pop singles chart at number nine.

Similarly, Prince’s 1993 single “Seven” peaked at #7.

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? – Newspaper Headline Nightmares, Part Fifteen!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another super blooper bundle from the newspapers.

Something in here should rise a smile and provide an embarrassment or two for the editorial staff.

Enjoy.

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np_sorority

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np_spanishtests

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np_sprung_a_leak

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np_stabbed

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np_stickponies

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np_succulentrack

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np_sumosnickers

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np_supreme

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np_taughttoeat

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np_taseredsheep

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Those Who Throw Dirt Are Sure To Lose Ground.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Pun day again.

How did you get the week in without them?

It’s not easy, but you’ve made it and well done.

Here is the latest batch of the word play specials.

As always, enjoy!

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When the human cannonball retired they couldn’t

find a replacement of the right caliber.

human-cannonball

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Wow my breakfast seems to have had a

really positive psychological effect on me!

Maybe it was that Freud egg I had for breakfast…..

I feel so Jung at heart?

Freud Egg

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He tried to find a bunch of bananas at the supermarket,

but it turned out to be a fruitless search.

bunch-bananas

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Could you call a chicken led rebellion a coop d’etat?

Call that a yolk?

coop d'etat

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Did you hear about the frog who parked at fire hydrant

– the cops came along and toad him away…

frog toad

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Did you hear about the Dentist and Manicurist who got married?

They fought tooth and nail!!

fighting tooth and nail

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It wasn’t that he had anything against French football,

he just didn’t like Toulouse

TOULOUSE_mascot

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Teaching your kids in the heat of the moment

is bad heir-conditioning.

heir conditioning

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There has to be a repair shop

for baroque musical instruments.

Baschenis_Evaristo-Self-Portrait_with_Musical_Instruments

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“You can whip our cream

but you can’t beat our milk,”

said the farmer.

milk

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This is just bang out of order!

bang out of order

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Somebody called me ‘pretentious’ the other day.

Well, I nearly choked on my tall soy carmel machiato latte

with no foam and extra extra (sweet and low)..

pretentious

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The wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

Boy! Did she hit the roof.

trampoline

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I phoned my work this morning and said,

“Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”

He said,

“You have a wee cough?”

I said,

“Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!”

have a wee cough

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I got arrested for shoplifting in the supermarket today.

I paid for six cans of Sprite at the checkout,

but when security checked my bag

he discovered I’d picked seven up.

7up can

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I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy.

This pan he sold me doesn’t fly at all.

FLYING PAN

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We had another row last night,

the underlying message being that my

“sense of direction was causing huge problems in the relationship”.

Eventually, tired and frustrated, I stood up,

packed my things and right.

bad sense of direction

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I’m nervous and excited about the new

job I start at a restaurant tomorrow.

I just can’t wait.

bad waiter

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Did you here about the Taxidermist who was mugged?

He fought off his attacker with his bear hands.

bear

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I saw a guy stacking shelves at the supermarket

complaining because the top shelf was broken,

and he couldn’t keep it up.

I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction.

surpermarket aisle

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Did They Really Mean To Say That? Newspaper Headlines Nightmares, Part Four!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Newspapers are a constant source of amusement.

Sometimes they do it on purpose, but more often than not they do it completely by mistake.

Even worse, they do it while trying to be terribly pompous and precise.

Enjoy this fourth selection in our short series of Newspaper Headline Nightmares!

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np_laxative

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np_localwinnersatdogshow

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np_mancanbedeclaredinsane

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np_manwith8duis

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np_midgetsues

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np_miraclecure

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np_missingteenfoundinColon

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np_nativestudentswellendowed

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np_newsickpolicy

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np_onearmedman

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np_oneinforkidsdropsout

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np_our44stpresident

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np_owneradmitslying

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np_planeslandatairports

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