If you think you are a criminal mastermind it is usually a sure sign that you aren’t one. But stupid people are usually full of self-delusions – because of their stupidity.
And if you are a stupid thief, in your head you might have figured out that when you steal, for example, a TV from someone, the person most likely to need a replacement TV will be the person you stole it from.
Therefore, in stupid logic, what more cunning plan could you have than to break into a house, steal a lot of stuff and then sell it back to the victim of your crime. After all, you just know they need it.
Clever, eh?
Nope!
In normal, sensible logic, however, the scenario is somewhat different. Because anyone sensible will know right from the start that the person you stole the goods from will immediately recognize their own possessions and more than likely call the police.
Which is exactly what happened in the case of three teenage morons who snatched a video-game system and then tried to sell it back to their victim.
It happened in Denver and, according to the police, a woman returned home to discover her home had been burglarized, with the thieves apparently gaining entry through a window.
Among the items missing were a portable gaming system and a jacket.
The woman immediately called the cops.
But the robbery had unnerved her somewhat, so rather than waiting at her place, she arranged for officers to meet her in the parking lot of a nearby restaurant.
While waiting there, three teenage males sauntered up to her and asked her if she wanted to buy – you’re probably way ahead of me – a portable gaming system, one that bore a remarkable resemblance to the one that had just been stolen from her place.
If that were not bad enough, one of the trio of teenage morons was wearing a jacket that looked a lot like hers.
As luck would have it, an off-duty cop was at a gas station next to the restaurant. He approached the trio of criminal masterminds and called for backup. Within moments they were placed into custody on suspicion of burglary.
You would hope that it would be a lesson to them but I think it’s safe to surmise that they are too stupid to learn.
Hello to all you quizzers out there. Your moment has indeed come.
It’s time for the Monday quiz here at the fasab blog.
Another random selection of questions and as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!
Enjoy, and good luck.
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Q. 1: What is the longest river in South America?
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Q. 2: Philip Pirrip is the central character in which famous Charles Dickens novel?
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Q. 3: ‘Firefly’, ‘The Mole’ and ‘Fab 2’ are all examples of what?
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Q. 4: This famous historical duke and his horse both had capital cities named after them. Can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)
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Q. 5: The island of Zealand is part of which country?
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Q. 6: What is the name of the satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller set during World War II from 1942 to 1944?
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Q. 7: What is the name of the Norwegian politician who became a puppet leader of his country during World War II, his name now a byword for treachery?
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Q. 8: This 1999 movie starring Will Smith, who also sang the title song, won five Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Screenplay and Worst Original Song – what was it?
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Q. 9: Which island has the 2 official languages Sinhalese and Tamil?
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Q. 10: The site of this famous battle is now a National Monument, but in which American state did the Battle of The Little Bighorn take place?
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Q. 11: In order of popularity, can you name the world’s top three religions?
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Q. 12: Which South American city provides the setting for the 1982 movie ‘Missing’, starring Jack Lemmon?
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Q. 13: British Honduras is now called what?
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Q. 14: What Catholic Bishop was killed in Rome on February 14 AD 270?
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Q. 15: Where were the ‘Camp David Accords’ signed, and by whom?
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Q. 16: Who, in the 1970s and at the age of forty-three, became the world’s first female President and the youngest Head of State in Latin America?
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Q. 17: Who founded the first US detective agency in 1850?
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Q. 18: For what invention is Earl Silas Tupper best known?
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Q. 19: Who said in a 1933 movie, “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” (A bonus point if you can name the movie.)
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Q. 20: Which super group were originally called the ‘New Yardbirds’?
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ANSWERS
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Q. 1: What is the longest river in South America?
A. 1: The Amazon.
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Q. 2: Philip Pirrip is the central character in which famous Charles Dickens novel?
A. 2: Great Expectations.
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Q. 3: ‘Firefly’, ‘The Mole’ and ‘Fab 2’ are all examples of what?
A. 3: Vehicles in the TV series Thunderbirds.
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Q. 4: This famous historical duke and his horse both had capital cities named after them. Can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)
A. 4: The famous historical duke is the Duke of Wellington, Wellington being the capital city of New Zealand; the name of his horse was Copenhagen which is also the name of the capital city of Denmark.
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Q. 5: The island of Zealand is part of which country?
A. 5: Denmark.
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Q. 6: What is the name of the satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller set during World War II from 1942 to 1944?
A. 6: Catch-22.
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Q. 7: What is the name of the Norwegian politician who became a puppet leader of his country during World War II, his name now a byword for treachery?
A. 7: Vidkun Quisling.
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Q. 8: This 1999 movie starring Will Smith, who also sang the title song, won five Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Screenplay and Worst Original Song – what was it?
A. 8: Wild, Wild West.
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Q. 9: Which island has the 2 official languages Sinhalese and Tamil?
A. 9: Sri Lanka.
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Q. 10: The site of this famous battle is now a National Monument, but in which American state did the Battle of The Little Bighorn take place?
A. 10: Montana.
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Q. 11: In order of popularity, can you name the world’s top three religions?
A. 11: Christianity (2 billion followers approximately), Islam (1.6 billion) and Hinduism (1 billion).
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Q. 12: Which South American city provides the setting for the 1982 movie ‘Missing’, starring Jack Lemmon?
A. 12: Santiago de Chile. (You get a point if you just said Santiago.)
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Q. 13: British Honduras is now called what?
A. 13: Belize.
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Q. 14: What Catholic Bishop was killed in Rome on February 14 AD 270?
A. 14: Did the date give it away? The answer is, St Valentine.
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Q. 15: Where were the ‘Camp David Accords’ signed, and by whom?
A. 15: Although they are named after the location at which the secret negotiations preceding them took place, The ‘Camp David Accords’ were actually signed at the White House in Washington DC, by Egyptian President Anwar El Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin on 17 September 1978, witnessed by United States President Jimmy Carter.
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Q. 16: Who, in the 1970s at the age of forty-three, became the world’s first female President and the youngest Head of State in Latin America?
A. 16: Isabel Peron.
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Q. 17: Who founded the first US detective agency in 1850?
A. 17: Allan Pinkerton.
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Q. 18: For what invention is Earl Silas Tupper best known?
A. 18: The clue was in the name, the answer is ‘Tupperware’.
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Q. 19: Who said in a 1933 movie, “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” (A bonus point if you can name the movie.)
A. 19: Groucho Marx in ‘Duck Soup’.
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Q. 20: Which super group were originally called the ‘New Yardbirds’?
Once a pun a time there was a blog that championed that element of humor called word play. You are about to read the latest batch of these puns right now.
So all that remains to be said is, enjoy!
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I walked into the boss’s office and handed him a pear.
“What’s this for?” He asked.
“A pay rise.” I replied.
“My wife told me to grow it first and then ask you.”
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The other day a friend of mine hit me with a chocolate bar.
How dairy!
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HMV to close sixty stores.
Is this the Vinyl Countdown?
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I won £10,000 on a scratchcard last week and the wife said
we should draw up a list of what to spend it on.
“Well, I’m going to book a holiday for one.”
“Oh goody” she screamed excitedly, “I can’t wait!”
Can’t help thinking she’s misunderstood what I said.
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I was reading through the ingredients for
a fruit salad I’m making today and it said:
“Pineapples: five cubed.”
I’m not sure though,
125 will probably be too many.
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My friend has no hands.
I feel for him.
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When I was young, my mum always used to hit me with the telephone.
I was always on the receiving end…..
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My calculator is missing the minus button,
but on the plus side, it still works.
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A gay guy asked me if I liked to blow people.
I told him I’m not a fan.
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I just hired a really uncomfortable car.
It Hertz like hell.
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I said to my friend, “I just watched that film about the Nazis.”
He said, “Oh what, the one with Adolf in?”
I said, “No mate, you’re thinking of ‘Flipper’, this was just about the Nazis.”
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I went house hunting at the weekend.
I went to see one house that had mirrors all over the walls.
I thought, “I can see myself living here.”
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I told my Chinese friend that I bought very cheap cigarettes
that were shipped in from a foreign country.
He said, “Is that Regal?”
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Why shouldn’t you buy Ukrainian underpants?
Because Chernobyl fallout.
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I was walking into my local pub,
when I suddenly realized it was darts night.
So I did a 180 and left.
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Our Brazilian housekeeper is rubbish at making the beds.
She’s very tidy downstairs though.
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There was an unbelievably close finish
in this years “Shemale of the year” contest.
It was a Thai.
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Everyone can put on their curriculum vitae
that they know a little Latin.
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I’ve got a fear of two-letter words.
I get scared just thinking about it.
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I turned to my wife last night and said,
“I’m into anal”.
She gave me a look of despair and glared at me as she said,
“Animal”.
I love it when we do the cryptic crossword together.
fasab 