It’s A Day For A Little More Word Play

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for another bunch of those word plays they call puns.

Get your groans ready and enjoy!

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I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

steps

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The girl wanted to lose weight so she went to the paint store. She heard she could get thinner there.

think thin

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He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.

bungee accident

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The cannibal’s cookbook titled ‘How to Better Serve your Fellow Man’ was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.  

Cannibal joke

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My friend wore a blindfold at the shooting range, he didn’t know what he was missing.

shooting blind

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If you need something done, call an electrician – they conduit.

cartoon electrician

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Although Nobelists tend to have dynamite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.

nobel_cartoon

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The police arrested me after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.

kleptomaniac

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When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.

Peter Pan

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The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

magician

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The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

weed whacker

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Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.

singing pirate

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I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.

watchmaker

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I hate the price of candy at the movie theater. They’re always raisinette.

usherette

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All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed except for one. He was a Peking Duck.  

Peking Duck

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Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. Wow, I never thought I’d hear myself say that.

deaf people talk what

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Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.

cartoon bug

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She’s happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.

seamstress

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England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

kidney cartoon

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When you think about it, mummies are bound to be uptight.

mummy

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16 thoughts on “It’s A Day For A Little More Word Play

  1. Actually, that’s a serious question I’ve never gotten answered. If the town is Liverpool, why is a resident called a Liverpudlian? A person is a puddle, but a bunch of puddles make a pool? What?!?
    Though you do realise that JRR Tolkien based the town areas of the Hobbits on England. He was inspired by that old saying “Once Britain, twice Shire”. 😯

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