First Of June, First Quiz Of June.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Summer is beckoning but not before you try another fasab quiz.

Twenty more random questions to test your knowledge.

As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 07

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Q.  1:  How many leaves are there on a shamrock?

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Q.  2:  It is the name of a region in Western Europe, a unique language, a close fitting bodice and a common form of the ball game Pelota. What is it?

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Q.  3:  What nationality was the first person to reach the North Pole alone and on foot?

            a) Finnish          b) English          c) Norwegian          d) Swedish

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Q.  4:  Which mode of transport did Christopher Cockerell invent in the 1950’s?

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Q.  5:  What word links a herb or other small vegetable growth, the buildings, equipment, etc., of a company or an institution, or a shot in snooker where the cue ball hits a red ball which hits another red ball to make it go into a pocket?

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Q.  6:  What city in the United States of America is known as the “City of Oaks” because of the many oak trees that line the streets in the heart of the city.

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Q.  7:  What is a female bear called?

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Q.  8:  Gävleborg, Gotland and Uppsala are among the counties of which country?

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Q.  9:  In which Olympic sport are there ‘Normal Hill’ and ‘Large Hill’ events?

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology who went in search of the ‘Golden Fleece’ ? (You get a point for the name of the leader, the name given to his followers and two bonus points for the name of their ship.)

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Q. 11:  What color originates from a famous 16th Century Italian painter and what color is it? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 12:  Which English city has more than 100 miles of canal?

            a) London            b) Birmingham            c) Manchester

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Q. 13:  Which empire ruled most of India and Pakistan in the 16th and 17th centuries?

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Q. 14:  What writer created the famous Baker Street detective?

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Q. 15:  Which black and white bird has the scientific name ‘Pica pica’ ?

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Q. 16:  What is the name given to that part of the North Atlantic bounded by the Gulf Stream on the west, the North Atlantic Current on the north, the Canary Current on the east, and the North Equatorial Current on the south.

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Q. 17:  If you added together all the voting seats in the US Senate and House of Representatives, how many idiots could sit down?

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Q. 18:  Name the star of the movie ‘Taken’.

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Q. 19:  What company, still in existence, was at one time the largest landowner in the world, having 15% of the land in North America?

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Q. 20:  Finally a chance to beef up that points score. What were the eight original tokens used in the board game ‘Monopoly’ ?  (A point for each correct answer and two bonus points if you get all eight correct.)

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  How many leaves are there on a shamrock?

A.  1:  Three (3).

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Q.  2:  It is the name of a region in Western Europe, a unique language, a close fitting bodice and a common form of the ball game Pelota. What is it?

A.  2:  Basque.

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Q.  3:  What nationality was the first person to reach the North Pole alone and on foot?

            a) Finnish          b) English          c) Norwegian          d) Swedish

A.  3:  The correct answer is c) Norwegian. He was Børge Ousland and he walked there by himself in 1994.

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Q.  4:  Which mode of transport did Christopher Cockerell invent in the 1950’s?

A.  4:  The Hovercraft.

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Q.  5:  What word links a herb or other small vegetable growth, the buildings, equipment, etc., of a company or an institution, or a shot in snooker where the cue ball hits a red ball which hits another red ball to make it go into a pocket?

A.  5:  A ‘plant’.

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Q.  6:  What city in the United States of America is known as the “City of Oaks” because of the many oak trees that line the streets in the heart of the city.

A.  6:  Raleigh, North Carolina, is known as the “City of Oaks”.

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Q.  7:  What is a female bear called?

A.  7:  A ‘sow’.

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Q.  8:  Gävleborg, Gotland and Uppsala are among the counties of which country?

A.  8:  Sweden.

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Q.  9:  In which Olympic sport are there ‘Normal Hill’ and ‘Large Hill’ events?

A.  9:  Ski jumping.

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Q. 10:  In Greek mythology who went in search of the ‘Golden Fleece’ ? (You get a point for the name of the leader, the name given to his followers and two bonus points for the name of their ship.)

A. 10:  His name was ‘Jason’, his followers were the ‘Argonauts’, and the name of their ship (after which the followers were named) was the Argo.

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Q. 11:  What color originates from a famous 16th Century Italian painter and what color is it? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 11:  Titian, a brownish-orange color.

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Q. 12:  Which English city has more than 100 miles of canal?

            a) London            b) Birmingham            c) Manchester

A. 12:  The correct answer is b) Birmingham.

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Q. 13:  Which empire ruled most of India and Pakistan in the 16th and 17th centuries?

A. 13:  The Mughal Empire.

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Q. 14:  What writer created the famous Baker Street detective?

A. 14:  Sir Arthur Conan Doyle, his creation was Sherlock Holmes.

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Q. 15:  Which black and white bird has the scientific name ‘Pica pica’ ?

A. 15:  The (Common) Magpie.

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Q. 16:  What is the name given to that part of the North Atlantic bounded by the Gulf Stream on the west, the North Atlantic Current on the north, the Canary Current on the east, and the North Equatorial Current on the south.

A. 16:  It is called the Sargasso Sea.

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Q. 17:  If you added together all the voting seats in the US Senate and House of Representatives, how many idiots could sit down?

A. 17:  535 (100 + 435).

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Q. 18:  Name the star of the movie ‘Taken’.

A. 18:  Liam Neeson.

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Q. 19:  What company, still in existence, was at one time the largest landowner in the world, having 15% of the land in North America?

A. 19:  Hudson’s Bay Company.

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Q. 20:  Finally a chance to beef up that points score. What were the eight original tokens used in the board game ‘Monopoly’ ?  (A point for each correct answer and two bonus points if you get all eight correct.)

A. 20:  Wheelbarrow, Battleship, Racecar, Thimble, Old-style shoe (or boot), Scottie dog, Top hat, Iron.

original monopoly tokens

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It’s The Movie, Math And Mud Quiz!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Welcome to this week’s quiz.

Movies, math and mud do feature, as do many other topics.

Is it easy? Is it difficult? Depends on how many answers you know.

But don’t worry, if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz host

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Q.  1:  What is the official language of the United States of America?

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Q.  2:  What bird has only two toes on each foot?

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Q.  3:  On which river are the Victoria Falls to be found?

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Q.  4:  What city is known as ‘Muddy York’ ?

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a Devil’s Coachhorse?

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Q.  6:  The Lakota call it the Battle of the Greasy Grass. What do we know it better as?

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Q.  7:  What town is also known worldwide as the “home of golf” ?

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Q.  8:  The Bennet family appear in which famous Jane Austen novel?

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Q.  9:  What is the mathematical series that starts 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21 called?

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Q. 10:  ‘Alopecia’ is a condition causing the loss of what from the body?

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Q. 11:  What is the device, used mainly nowadays on small engines like those found on lawnmowers, that blends air and fuel for an internal combustion engine called?

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Q. 12:  What is the usual color of copper sulphate?

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Q. 13:  Which form of cloud has an anvil shape and is associated with heavy showers and storms?

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Q. 14:  What is defined as “Any rock or soil material that has remained below 0°C continuously for two or more years” ?

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Q. 15:  Which insect found in Africa is the host for the parasitic organism that causes sleeping sickness?

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Q. 16:  An Astronomical Unit is the mean distance between which two bodies?

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Q. 17:  How is the fossilized resin of coniferous trees from the Middle Tertiary period better known?

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Q. 18:  Which son of a weaver was a major benefactor of public libraries throughout the UK and US?

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Q. 19:  Where would you be in if you were at the Cresta Run? (A point each for correctly naming the town and the country.)

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Q. 20:  In which movie did Humphrey Bogart say, “We’ll always have Paris”

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is the official language of the United States of America?

A.  1:  A bit of a trick question to start with, the United States has no official language.

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Q.  2:  What bird has only two toes on each foot?

A.  2:  An Ostrich.

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Q.  3:  On which river are the Victoria Falls to be found?

A.  3:  The Zambezi.

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Q.  4:  What city is known as ‘Muddy York’ ?

A.  4:  Toronto.

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Q.  5:  What type of creature is a Devil’s Coachhorse?

A.  5:  It is a Beetle.

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Q.  6:  The Lakota call it the Battle of the Greasy Grass. What do we know it better as?

A.  6:  We know it better as the Battle of Little Big Horn.

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Q.  7:  What town is also known worldwide as the “home of golf” ?

A.  7:  St. Andrews, Scotland.

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Q.  8:  The Bennet family appear in which famous Jane Austen novel?

A.  8:  Pride & Prejudice.

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Q.  9:  What is the mathematical series that starts 0,1,1,2,3,5,8,13,21 called?

A.  9:  A Fibonacci Series.

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Q. 10:  ‘Alopecia’ is a condition causing the loss of what from the body?

A. 10:  Hair.

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Q. 11:  What is the device, used mainly nowadays on small engines like those found on lawnmowers, that blends air and fuel for an internal combustion engine called?

A. 11:  A carburetor, or carburetor.

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Q. 12:  What is the usual color of copper sulphate?

A. 12:  Blue.

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Q. 13:  Which form of cloud has an anvil shape and is associated with heavy showers and storms?

A. 13:  Cumulonimbus.

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Q. 14:  What is defined as “Any rock or soil material that has remained below 0°C continuously for two or more years” ?

A. 14:  Permafrost.

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Q. 15:  Which insect found in Africa is the host for the parasitic organism that causes sleeping sickness?

A. 15:  The Tsetse fly.

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Q. 16:  An Astronomical Unit is the mean distance between which two bodies?

A. 16:  The earth and the sun.

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Q. 17:  How is the fossilised resin of coniferous trees from the Middle Tertiary period better known?

A. 17:  Amber.

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Q. 18:  Which son of a weaver was a major benefactor of public libraries throughout the UK and US?

A. 18:  Andrew Carnegie.

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Q. 19:  Where would you be in if you were at the Cresta Run? (A point each for correctly naming the town and the country.)

A. 19:  You would be in the winter sports town of St. Moritz, Switzerland.

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Q. 20:  In which movie did Humphrey Bogart say, “We’ll always have Paris”? 

A. 20:  The line is from the fantastic movie ‘Casablanca’.

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It’s The Fasab Fact Feature.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, time for some more facts to feature here at the fasab blob.

Hope you find something interesting in this selection.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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Mice, whales, elephants, giraffes and man

all have seven neck vertebra.

neck vertebrae

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There have been many legends about the Northern Lights.

Some North American Inuit tribes call the aurora „aqsarniit“

(meaning “football players”) thinking it is the spirits of the dead

playing football with a head of a walrus.

Northern Lights

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The feeling you get when something is so cute

you can’t help but want to squeeze it

is called “cute aggression”.

cute aggression

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The Ivory Coast is by far the world’s leading producer of cocoa beans.

About 37 percent of all the cocoa beans in the world come from here.

Cocoa_Pods

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On a dewy morning, if you look at your shadow in the grass,

the dew drops shine light back to your eye creating a halo

called a heilgenschein (German for halo.)

Heiligenschein

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Your brain continues to develop until your late 40s.

brain

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According to the Guinness Book of World Records,

the largest sausage was made by J.J. Tranfield on behalf of

Asda Stores Plc, at Sheffield, United Kingdom in October 2000.

With a length of 36.75 miles (59.143 kilometers),

it’s almost the width of Rhode Island.

world's biggest sausage

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The McKinley Building on the American University campus

has been used for the development of several hazardous products,

such as Mustard Gas and preliminary work on the Manhattan Project.

The government used the McKinley Building because of its unusual architecture.

If there would be any type of large explosion inside the building,

the building would implode onto itself, containing any lethal gas or nuclear material.

The building now houses the Physics Department.

McKinley Building on the American University campus

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There is a language in Botswana that

consists of 5 primary click sounds

botswana-language-phrases

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Window washer Chris Saggers was working on the 22nd floor of the

Salford Tower Blocks in Britain when he fell off of his scaffold,

plunging down 220 feet, and landing on top of a car.

Miraculously, after the fall, he simply stood up and told the on lookers “I’m fine”.

A medical exam revealed that Saggers’ only injury was a broken elbow.

Salford_tower_blocks window washer Chris Saggers

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The last NASCAR driver to serve jail time for

running moonshine was Buddy Arrington.

Buddy Arrington

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Born in 1921 in Connecticut, Haroutune Krikor Daghlian, Jr was

an Armenian American physicist who worked for the Manhattan Project

(research and development project that produced the first atomic bombs).

He accidentally irradiated himself in August, 1945, during a critical mass

experiment at the remote Omega Site facility in New Mexico.

He died just 25 days later.

Haroutune Krikor Daghlian, Jr

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All porcupines float in water.

porcupines float in water

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Woodward Ave in Detroit, Michigan

carries the designation M-1, named so

because it was the first paved road anywhere.

woodward-avenue-detroit-michigan

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The Les Nessman character on the TV series WKRP in Cincinnati

wore a band-aid in every episode.

Either on himself, his glasses, or his clothing.

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Dirty Harry? It Must Be Fact Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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No dirty facts here. That’s someone else’s job.

Just good clean fun with another selection from the fabulous fasab fact file.

Enjoy.

..Oh, and spare a thought for poor Betty Stobbs who for one split second thought she had made it.

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facts 03

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Dirty Harry’s badge number is 2211.

Dirty_Harry_Badge

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Frisian, a language native to the Netherlands,

is considered the easiest foreign language

for English speakers to learn

Nord friesische Dialekte

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The amount the U.S. military spends annually

on air conditioning in Iraq and Afghanistan: $20.2 billion.

Keeping their cool

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The Milky Way has four spiral arms, not two.

Milky Way galaxy

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The main ingredient for chocolate are technically cacao beans,

but they are known throughout the cocoa industry as cocoa beans

because of a misspelling.

Cacao beans and chocolate

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Cacao has been around for millions of years and

is probably one of the oldest of nature’s foods.

cacao beans

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It has been calculated that in the last 3,000 years

there have only been 240 years of peace in the world

peace-time-war-time

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During the An Lushan rebellion in China in the mid 700s

nearly 40 million people died.

This was 1/6 of the world’s population.

An Lushan rebellion in China

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Your brain is the fattest organ in your body at around 60%

fat-head

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Curfew comes from a combination of two French words

– “couvrir” and “feu”. Literally this means to “cover fire”.

curfew-photo

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In 1999, Betty Stobbs, 67, of Durham, England,

took a bale of hay to feed her flock of sheep

on the back of her motorcycle.

Her hungry sheep, however, charged her bike and

knocked her into a deep ravine.

She survived the fall but was killed

when her bike landed on top of her.

Betty Stobbs

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Andrew Jackson was involved in as many as 100 duels,

most of which were fought to defend the honor of his wife.

Not surprisingly he was shot multiple times during his life.

Andrew Jackson duel

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Alexander the Great is famous for a spying technique still used today.

He had all his soldiers write home to their families

and then intercepted the letters.

Whoever didn’t have something nice to say was executed.

Alexander_the_Great

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If you are referred to as a “treasured guest”

in Disney don’t get carried away.

That means you’re an asshole and

workers are being warned about you

Sleeping Beauty Castle Disney

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The voices of Yoda and Miss Piggy

were done by the same person.

His name is Frank Oz.

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Fasab’s Fact Feast Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello and welcome to another fact feast day on the fasab blog.

The usual selection of random facts, but with a few extras thrown in as a tribute to the late, great, and apparently much troubled Robin Williams.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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In spite of the larger-than-life legends,

the Pony Express only lasted 19 months

(April 1860 to October 1861)

Pony Express

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According to a published Star Wars encyclopedia,

the real name of the Star Wars robot known to us as ‘R2-D2’,

is actually ‘Second Generation Robotic Droid Series-2’.

Star Wars robots R2D2 and 3CP0

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Robin Williams was awarded a star

on the Hollywood Walk of Fame

in Hollywood, California

on December 12, 1990.

Robin Williams Hollywood Walk of Fame

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The first chocolate bar

suitable enough for widespread consumption

was produced by the Fry’s chocolate factory,

located in Bristol, England in 1847.

Fry's chocolate factory Bristol

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Of the ten deadliest wars every fought,

seven were fought in China

More people died in each of the two largest

than in WWI

war in China

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Up until the 1800s dentures were often

made from the teeth of dead soldiers.

dentures

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Robin Williams devoted much of his time and energy to charities.

For example,

he supported St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital

and helped to rebuild the city of Christchurch

after the 2010 earthquake in New Zealand.

Robin Williams; Whoopi Goldberg; Billy Crystal

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In Archi,

a language spoken around the Caspian Sea,

each verb can have up to 1.5 million different conjugations

Archi_pic

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During medieval times animals were put on trial

and sometimes sentenced to death

Medieval animal trials

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Robin Williams co-owned the Rubicon restaurant in San Francisco

with his friend Robert De Niro and

fellow Bay area resident Francis Ford Coppola.

Rubicon restaurant in San Francisco

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You have roughly 70,000 thoughts

every day!

thoughts

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Dung beetles can use the Milky Way to navigate.

(My stars!)

Dung beetles can use the Milky Way to navigate

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The title, “World’s luckiest unluckiest man”

belongs to Frane Selak, a Croatian music teacher,

who has literally escaped the jaws of death seven times.

On January 1962, a train he was on flipped off the tracks

killing 17 passengers. He survived.

In 1963, he was sucked out of a malfunctioning plane door

and landed in a haystack; the plane crashed killing 19 people.

In 1966, a bus Selak was on skidded off the road and into a river

where four passengers drowned.

1970 and 1973 his car caught on fire;

1995 he was struck by a bus

and in 1996 he drove into a gorge.

Frane Selak

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In 1911, French tailor Franz Reichelt

decided to test his invention,

a combination overcoat and parachute,

by jumping off the Eiffel Tower.

It didn’t work.

Franz Reichelt Eiffel Tower

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Robin WIlliams is also the author of many

both humorous and serious quotes such as:

“Reality is just a crutch for people

who can’t cope with drugs.“

Or

“No matter what people tell you,

words and ideas can change the world.“

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Did You Know? – I Didn’t.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, I have to admit that many of the facts that I use on these posts are just as big a surprise to me as they possibly are to you.

But I hope interesting, as well.

Here is the latest batch from the archives.

Enjoy.

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facts 04

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There are 13 ways to spell

the “o” sound in French

the-simpsons-d-oh

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There is a planet called HD189733b

where it rains glass sideways.

planet HD189733b

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The language of the Native American Zuni tribe

has resemblances to Japanese.

Subsequent research confirmed

biological similarities between the groups.

Native American Zuni tribe

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For a long time the world believed Troy to be a mythical city

and the Trojan War to be little more than legend,

until Heinrich Schliemann discovered the actual remains of the city.

Troy

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Despite the common myth that large brains equal more intelligence,

people like Einstein actually had a smaller brain

(only difference is, he used his!)

Einstein

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Vikings didn’t have horns on their helmets.

Viking helmet

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A man  named James Boole survived a fall of 6,000 feet

without a parachute with only a broken back and ribs.

It is estimated that when Boole hit the ground,

he was falling at about 100 kilometers per hour.

James Boole

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There is no such thing as a banana tree,

bananas grow on a banana plant.

banana plant

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Nuclear rain from the Chernobyl disaster

fell as far away as Ireland

where sheep farmers were banned from

selling their animals for human consumption for a time.

chernobyl-radiation-map

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For years Big Pharma made $millions off selling people

anti-stress drugs to cure their ulcers,

until an Australian scientist proved the ulcers

were quite often caused by bacteria and were easily curable.

anti-stress drugs

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Fourteen of the original rides from

Disneyland’s 1955 opening are still in operation.

original rides from Disneyland

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Nice comes from a Latin word meaning “ignorant”.

nescius

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Side by side, 2000 cells from the human body

could cover about one square inch.

cells from the human body

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When Robert Williams tried to retrieve

a faulty part at a Ford Motor’s casting plant,

the malfunctioning machine reactivated

and its arm slammed into his head, killing him instantly.

He is the first man in history to have been killed by a robot.

Ford Motor Company robot

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In one of the stupidest decision

in the history of the music industry,

Decca Records turned down the Beatles

because they “weren’t sellable”.

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I’m A Terrible Psychic – I Don’t Know About You.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is always in the title.

Today is Pun Day, so brace yourself for more word play and silly jokes.

Go on, you know you love ‘em.

Enjoy or endure.

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rofl

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Can you tell me what someone from Corsica is called?

Corsican!

Corsican traditional dress

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My mum was getting annoyed because of her job sewing things.

I said, “You seamstressed.”

seamstress

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“Timmy , your homework assignment was to read War and Peace.

Why haven’t you read it?”

“Sorry Miss. It’s a long story.”

Tolstoy's War And Peace

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There was this group on Facebook called

‘Help the children in Africa who are suffering from the heat’.

So I became a fan.

fan

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I invested $1000 in some American shares…..

It made a lot of cents.

a lot of cents

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I was on a cruise ship which had both sides labeled as starboard.

Something wasn’t right.

cruise ship

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Don’t bother entering the Repairman Of The Year Award

– it’s fixed

repair man

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I fell out of a 600 story building and lived.

It was a library.

library

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Everyone who tastes my homemade wine says it tastes horrible.

I think it’s just sour grapes.

sour-grapes

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What do you have

if you have a cricket ball in one hand

and a cricket ball in the other?

A really big cricket!

jonata_Cricket

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I got myself a new toy – it’s a laminator.

Basically, it’s a machine that kills baby sheep.

lamb

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My girlfriend left me the other day.

Accordion to her I make tune many musical puns.

Accordion

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A guy walks into the psychiatrist

wearing only shorts made from Bubble wrap.

The psychiatrist says,

“Well, I can clearly see you’re nuts.”

bubblewrap

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What’s the fastest way to get stoned?

Be a woman in Iran.

StopStoning

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“The total cost would be £3000,” said the funeral director.

“That includes digging the grave.”

“Is that the whole thing?” I asked.

He replied, “Yes, that’s the hole thing.”

grave

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Did You Know? – It’s Another Fact Filled Tuesday.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A curious mixture of facts today, or maybe they’re always hat way?

Anyway, I’ll leave it up to you to decide.

But whatever conclusion you come to I hope you enjoy.

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did you know2

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As with many things, Penicillin was discovered accidently

when Scottish biologist Alexander Fleming came back from vacation

and noticed that his bacteria were all being killed off by a strange fungus.

Alexander_Fleming

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Every two minutes, we take as many photos

as all of humanity took during the 1800s.

Smile please!

taking-picture-photographer

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If you think no one cares if you’re alive,

try leaving some debts unpaid.

debts unpaid

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.

In 1942 Dr. Harry Coover found that a substance he created,

cyanoacrylate, was a failure.

It stuck to everything it touched just a little too well.

So he invented Super Glue.

Dr. Harry Coover superglued

.

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When Warner Brothers formed,

the Ottoman Empire was still in being.

warner brothers logo

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John Pemberton didn’t start out wanting to be a successful businessman.

He just wanted to cure headaches.

His recipes consisted of two things – coca leaves and cola nuts.

When his lab assistant accidentally mixed the two with carbonated water

Coke was born.

John Pemberton coca cola

.

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The oldest living person’s birth

is closer to the signing of the US Constitution

than present day.

signing of the US Constitution

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John Tyler, America’s 10th President,

has two living grandchildren.

Tylers-Son-and-Grandsons

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The last time the Chicago Cubs won a World Series,

women were not allowed to vote.

(Sorry for reminding you Cubs fans.)

Chicago Cubs

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If it weren’t for the last minute

nothing would ever get done.

last-minut

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While building an ocillator to record heart beat sounds in animals

at Cornell University Wilson Greatbatch accidentally grabbed the wrong transistor.

After switching on the device he found it to have

a very familiar rhythmic pulsing sound, very similar to a human heart.

So now we have Pacemakers!

GREATBACH-obit-articleInline

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Basque, a language spoken in the

mountains between France and Spain

is the only European language

not related to any other known language.

Basque

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President Kennedy was the fastest

random speaker in the world

with upwards of 350 words per minute.

President Kennedy

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Sometimes your mouth is like a zipper,

by the time you realize it’s open

it has already embarrassed you.

zipper

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The bagpipe was originally made

from the whole skin of a dead sheep.

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Apparently 5/3rds Of People Can’t Do Fractions.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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5/3rds? That’s almost half, isn’t it?

But never mind all that, today isn’t about mathematics, it’s about puns.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

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Recently got myself a symphony orchestra but for some reason

all they eat is lemons and strawberry shortcake.

They’re called the Bittersweet Symphony.

Bittersweet Symphony

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.

My brother just got his exam results

for his Double Equine Studies.

He got a G G.

GG

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My friend’s wife started her job on a cruise ship last week.

I asked him, “How is she getting on?”

He replied, “I’m not sure, I think they use a crane.”

crane

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Did you hear about the two clams

who went out on a cheap date?

They were just being shellfish.

clam-thumb-460x260

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Two geologists were staring

at a huge fissure in a cliff face

and one was overheard to say

‘It’s not my fault’.

fissure in cliff face

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I once tried telling a joke about bad postmen,

the delivery was all wrong.

cartoon-postman-running-away-from-a-dog-he-is-dropping-his-letters

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When an actress saw her first strands of

gray hair she thought she’d dye.

first grey hair

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Paddy took two stuffed dogs he had

on to the Antiques Road Show

“Ooooh,” says the presenter.

“This is a very rare breed.”

“Do you have any idea what they’d fetch

if they were in good condition?”

“I dunno.” says Paddy.

“Sticks?”

roadshow2

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My doctor reckons I’m paranoid.

He didn’t say it,

but I know he’s thinking it.

paranoid

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An elderly man with Alzheimer’s walks into a bar

and sees a rather tasty elderly woman.

He walks over and sits beside her and says,

“Do I come here often?”

old man cartoon

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.

It’s really difficult to find what you want on eBay.

I was searching for cigarette lighters

and found over 15,000 matches.

match and cigarette lighter

.

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Scientist:

“My findings are pointless when taken out of context.”

Media:

“Scientist claims ‘findings are pointless’.”

cartoon scientist

.

.

My friend was sacked yesterday

for sexual harassment.

No one understands why,

he was always hard at work.

hard at work

.

.

My friend just told me he saw a midget climbing

over the wall of the prison on a bed sheet.

I told him he was a little con descending.

midget

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So the young teenage girl says to her mother,

“I think I’m pregnant.”

“What?” exclaims the mother.

“But we had a talk about this.”

“I told you if a boy touches your breast you are to say ‘STOP’

and if he tries to touch you down there your are to say ‘DON’T’.”

“But Mom,” the girl replies.

“He touched them both at the same time.”

“And I shouted ‘DON’T’  ‘STOP’.”

mom-daughter-cartoon

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Did You Know? – More Interesting Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More interesting facts today.

Hats definitely off to James Harrison, but my favorite is Bill Morgan.

Enjoy.

.

did you know4

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We’ll start with one in honor of the recently passed St Patrick’s Day.

St Patrick’s given name was Maewyn Succat.

After becoming a priest, he changed his name to Patricius,

from the Latin term meaning “father figure.”

st patrick

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Esperanto is an artificial language,

but is spoken by about 500,000 to 2,000,000 people,

and 2 feature films have been done in the language.

basic_esperanto_words_by_moosader

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After the bible,

the most translated book in the world is

Pinocchio.

pinocchio book cover

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Hall of fame boxer Sugar Ray Robinson backed out of a fight

because he had a dream that he was going to kill his opponent in the ring.

After a priest and minister convinced him to fight, Robinson went into the ring

and killed his opponent Jimmy Doyle.

Sugar Ray Robinson and Jimmy Doyle

.

.

The German word for birth control pill is ‘antibabypille’

and in Switzerland they have pregnancy tests

called ‘MaybeBaby’ in vending machines.

birth control

.

.

After 9/11, 1600 people died in automobile accidents

after they switched travel plans from flying to driving.

automobile-accident

.

.

If officials awarded Lance Armstrong’s Tour de France title

to the next fastest finisher who has never been linked to doping,

they would have to give it to the person who finished 23rd.

tour de france

.

.

When US Army officer Braxton Bragg held both the job of

the company commander and the post’s quartermaster,

he made a request to the quartermaster (that is, himself)

and when he received the request as quartermaster he denied it.

He continued to argue back and forth with himself through letters.

braxton_bragg_2_400_pxlw

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.

In 2010 workers at Ground Zero found an 18th century wooden ship

underneath the World Trade Center rubble.

ship-hull-found-in-ground-zero-rubble

.

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When child actor Jackie Coogan turned 18,

he found out all his money, $68 million,

had been spent by his mother, who argued

“No promises were ever made to give Jackie anything.

Every dollar a kid earns before he is 21 belongs to his parents.” 

Coogan’s Bill was then passed to protect child actors.

Jackie_Coogan,_The_Kid_(1921)

.

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In Samoa, it’s a crime to forget your own wife’s birthday.

(Isn’t that true for most places?)

wife's birthday

.

.

Ryan Gosling was cast as Noah in The Notebook

because the director wanted someone “not handsome.”

ryan gosling noah

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After needing 13 liters of blood for a surgery at the age of 13,

a man named James Harrison, aka “The Man With The Golden Arm”,

pledged to donate blood once he turned 18.

It was discovered that his blood contained a rare antigen

which cured Rhesus disease.

He has donated blood a record 1000 times

and saved 2,000,000 lives.

james-harrison donating blood

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.

In 1942 in Mississippi there was a man known as the Phantom Barber

who would break into peoples’ houses at night and cut their hair.

The Phantom Barber Of Mississippi

.

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In 1999 an Australian man, named Bill Morgan

was declared dead for 14 minutes after an allergic reaction to drugs

given to him in hospital after a car accident.

To celebrate his survival he bought a scratch card

and won a $27,000 car.

A news team covering the story asked him to re-enact

the scratch card moment for their story,

so he went into the shop, bought another scratch card,

and won  $250,000 jackpot.

Here he is….

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