Maine, Minnesota and Missouri? – It Must Be Fasab Fact Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes it is fasab fact day. Another random selection of interesting things, some of which you may know some you may not.

The only way you will find out is by taking a look.

Enjoy.

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Maine is the only state that

borders on only one state.

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The only person ever to decline a Pulitzer Prize for Fiction

was Sinclair Lewis for his book Arrowsmith.

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Michigan was the first state to plow it’s roads

and the first to adopt a yellow dividing line.

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The word ‘byte’ is a contraction of ‘by eight.’

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The roads on the island of Guam are made with coral.

Guam has no sand. The sand on the beaches is actually ground coral.

When concrete is mixed, the coral sand is used instead of

importing regular sand from thousands of miles away.

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The shortest verse in the Bible

is “Jesus wept.” John 11:35

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Zaire is the world leader in cobalt mining,

producing two-thirds of the world’s cobalt supply.

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The St. Louis Gateway Arch had a

projected death toll while it was being built.

No one died.

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Vincent Van Gogh comitted suicide

while painting Wheat Field with Crows.

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Jelly Belly jelly beans were the first jelly beans in outer space

when they went up with astronauts in the June 21, 1983 voyage

of the space shuttle Challenger

(the same voyage as the first American woman in space, Sally Ride).

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A flea expert is a pullicologist.

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The Dodge brothers Horace and John were Jewish,

that’s why the first Dodge emblem had a star of David in it.

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Ham radio operators got the term “ham”

coined from the expression “ham-fisted operators”,

a term used to describe early radio users who sent Morse code

(i.e. pounded their fists).

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The word “hangnail” comes from Middle English:

ang- (painful) + nail. Nothing to do with hanging.

 

 

It’s almost hard to believe it,

but the quintessential Tom Hanks role

as Forrest Gump was initially offered to

John Travolta who declined to take part in the film.

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Did You Know? – Here Are Some More Things You Probably Didn’t.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fact finding day on the fasab blog.

Fifteen more very random but hopefully interesting facts that you probably didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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If you live in France,

and happen to own a pig,

it is illegal to name it ‘Napoleon’.

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50 of the 83 restaurants

featured on Ramsay’s Kitchen Nightmares

have been sold or shut down.

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In Turkey, it is illegal for a man

over 80 years old to become a pilot.

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It took 127 beers to make Andre The Giant

pass out in a hotel lobby;

 he was so big, hotel management couldn’t

move him and left him there until the next day.

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If you have the plague you are not

permitted to flag down a taxi in London.

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If a set of identical twin women

married a set of identical twin men

and subsequently had children,

their kids would genetically be siblings.

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Every year Louis Vuitton burns

all of its unsold stock of bags.

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It is against the law in Barbados to wear any camouflage clothing,

but, hey, if it’s good enough whose going to notice?

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Sean Connery wore a wig in every

one of his Bond performances.

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Whilst chewing gum in Singapore is not illegal,

importing it, or selling it,

or spitting it on to the pavement definitely is.

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Peter Sellers was paid $1 million for his

part in the movie Dr. Strangelove,

55 percent of the film’s budget.

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In Canada stores are not

legally required to accept coins

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The United Arab Emirates donated a laptop

to every high school student in Joplin, Missouri,

after the city had been devastated by a tornado.

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Astronaut Pete Conrad’s first sentence on the moon was

“Oooh, is that soft an queasy”,

said in order to win a $500 bet.

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And speaking of the Moon,

the Moonwalk predates Michael Jackson by at least 50 years,

having been performed by James Brown, David Bowie,

Dick Van Dyke and Cab Calloway.

(MJ is still the best at it though.)

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Did You Know? Facts, Facts And More Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Fact day again on the fasab blog.

Another twenty things you probably don’t know now, but not to worry, you will do soon if you read on.

Enjoy.

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Before Gmail, “G-Mail” was the name of a free

email service offered by Garfield’s website.

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In America the bonnets and caps of city fire hydrants

are painted certain colors to alert firefighters

to the amount of water pressure available from that hydrant.

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It isn’t water itself that conducts electricity,

but the impurities found in it.

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Richard Hollingshead of Camden, N.J., built the first

drive-in theater in his driveway.

The idea was inspired by his mother who was a large woman

who found the seats at regular movie theaters uncomfortable.

He made it with a sheet strung between two trees and

a movie projector mounted to the hood of his car.

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Washington state’s Mt. Rainier is the tallest

volcano in the contiguous United States,

measuring nearly 14,500 feet in height.

It last erupted in 1854.

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Despite their menacing appearance and fierce name,

dragonflies cannot sting and are harmless to human beings.

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When referring to China, make sure

to say the People’s Republic of China.

Leave off “People’s” and you’re talking about Taiwan.

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Approximately one quarter of the United States’

homeless population are war veterans.

(Shameful statistic!)

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The inventors of bubble wrap,

Alfred Fielding and Marc Chavannes,

were originally trying to make plastic wallpaper.

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The toilet featured in Hitchcock’s Psycho

was the first flushing toilet to appear on-screen.

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Frankincense, one of the precious items

the wise men gave the baby Jesus,

was actually an ancient form of chewing gum

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The poinsettia is named after former

congressman and ambassador Joel Poinsett,

who introduced the plant to the United States in the 1800s.

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Peridots are the only gems that

have been found in meteorites.

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The longest jellyfish on record measured 160 feet,

more than half the length of a football field.

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All holly trees are gender specific – male or female.

Only the female holly tree bears fruit (berries),

and in order to do so there must be a male

pollinated tree within a two mile radius of her.

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Two-thirds of the world’s lawyers live in the United States.

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The Hard Rock Café got its name from a now-defunct bar that

appeared on the back of the Doors’ album Morrison Hotel.

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When cranberries are ripe, they bounce like a rubber ball.

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Due to the “naughty” dancing of the can-can girls and

the scantily clad models on 1800s French postcards,

the British equated anything risqué with France.

In fact, that’s how the phrase “pardon my French” entered the vernacular.

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Scott Joplin’s famous piano song, “Maple Leaf Rag,”

was not named for the leaf or for Canada:

it was named for the Maple Leaf Club,

a social gathering place in Sedalia, Missouri.

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Significant Number Factoid Friday – Today The Number Is Twenty-Eight 28

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s been a few weeks since we had a numbers factoid. Today we are having a look at the number twenty-eight, so if that’s your lucky number or your date of birth or if you are just interested in numbers and things associated with them then read on.

And enjoy.

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The Number Twenty-Eight 28

 

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In religion

• In Hebrew, the first verse of the Bible “In the beginning God created the heavens and the earth” (Genesis I.1) has seven words and 28 letters.
• The length of one curtain shall be eight and twenty cubits. (Exodus, 26.2)
• The length of one curtain was twenty and eight cubits, and the breadth of one curtain four cubits: the curtains were all of one size. (Exodus, 36.9)
• In Chapter 28 in Genesis: Isaac blesses Jacob; Jacob’s Ladder; God’s promise; Stone of Bethel:

Artistic impression of Jacob’s Ladder

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In mathematics

• 28 is a composite number, its proper divisors being 1, 2, 4, 7, and 14.
• Twenty-eight is the second perfect number. As a perfect number, it is related to the Mersenne prime 7, since 22(23 – 1) = 28. The next perfect number is 496, the previous being 6.
• Twenty-eight is a harmonic divisor number, a happy number, a triangular number, a hexagonal number, and a centered nonagonal number.
• Twenty-eight is the ninth and last number in early Indian magic square of order 3.
• There are twenty-eight convex uniform honeycombs.

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In science & technology

• 28 is the atomic mass of silicon and the atomic number of nickel.
• 28 is the molecular weight of nitrogen, (N2 = 28.02) and the molecular weight of carbon monoxide, (CO = 12 + 16 = 28.01); also interesting in that while carbon monoxide is poisonous, nitrogen is essential to life, yet they have the same molecular weight of 28 daltons.
• 28 is the fourth magic number in physics.
• The average human menstrual cycle is 28 days although no link has been established with the nightlighting and the Moon.
• Skin research has discovered that the epidermis is constantly regenerating itself, and all of its cells are replaced every 28 days.
• By the age of fourteen most people have 28 permanent teeth; the last four molars, the wisdom teeth, erupt only if the jaw allows space for them.
• The curing time of concrete is classically considered 28 days.

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In space

• Our universe is 28 billion light years in distance from edge to edge.
• The revolution time of the surface of the Sun on itself is 28 days while its core is revolving in 33 days.
• The moon completes 4 phases once it has wandered through the 28 lunar mansions.
• 28 Bellona is a large main belt asteroid between Mars and Jupiter. Bellona was discovered by R. Luther on March 1, 1854. It is named after Bellona, the Roman goddess of war; the name was chosen to mark the beginning of the Crimean War. Its diameter is 120.9 km, rotation period of 15.7 hours, and orbital period of 4.63 years.
• The New General Catalogue object NGC 28, an elliptical galaxy in the constellation Phoenix.
• Messier object M28 is a magnitude 8.5 globular cluster in the constellation Sagittarius.

Messier object m28

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• STS-28
• STS-28 was the 30th NASA Space Shuttle mission, and the fourth dedicated to United States Department of Defense purposes. It was also the eighth flight of Space Shuttle Columbia.
• The mission launched on 8 August 1989 and traveled 2.1 million miles during 81 orbits of the Earth, before landing on runway 17 of Edwards Air Force Base, California, on 13 August.
• The mission details of STS-28 are classified, but the payload is widely believed to have been the first SDS-2 communications satellite.
• The crew consisted of Commander Brewster H. Shaw, Jr., Pilot Richard N. Richards, and three Mission Specialists, James C. Adamson, David C. Leestma and Mark N. Brown.

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• Space Shuttle Challenger
• One of the worst space related disasters happened on January 28 1986.
• On that fateful day Space Shuttle Challenger (mission STS-51-L) broke apart 73 seconds into its flight, leading to the deaths of its seven crew members.
• The spacecraft disintegrated over the Atlantic Ocean, off the coast of central Florida at 11:38 EST (16:38 UTC). Disintegration of the entire vehicle began after an O-ring seal in its right solid rocket booster (SRB) failed at liftoff. The O-ring failure caused a breach in the SRB joint it sealed, allowing pressurized hot gas from within the solid rocket motor to reach the outside and impinge upon the adjacent SRB attachment hardware and external fuel tank. This led to the separation of the right-hand SRBs aft attachment and the structural failure of the external tank. Aerodynamic forces promptly broke up the orbiter.
• The crew compartment and many other vehicle fragments were eventually recovered from the ocean floor after a lengthy search and recovery operation. Although the exact timing of the death of the crew is unknown, several crew members are known to have survived the initial breakup of the spacecraft. However, the shuttle had no escape system and the impact of the crew compartment with the ocean surface was too violent to be survivable.
• The disaster resulted in a 32-month hiatus in the shuttle program and the formation of the Rogers Commission, a special commission appointed by United States President Ronald Reagan to investigate the accident. The Rogers Commission found NASA’s organizational culture and decision-making processes had been key contributing factors to the accident. NASA managers had known contractor Morton Thiokol’s design of the SRBs contained a potentially catastrophic flaw in the O-rings since 1977, but failed to address it properly. They also disregarded warnings from engineers about the dangers of launching posed by the low temperatures of that morning and had failed to adequately report these technical concerns to their superiors.
• What Rogers did not highlight was the fact the vehicle was never certified to operate in temperatures that low.
• Many viewed the launch live because of the presence of crew member Christa McAuliffe, the first member of the Teacher in Space Project and the (planned) first female teacher in space.
• The Challenger disaster has been used as a case study in many discussions of engineering safety and workplace ethics.

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In politics

• 28th President of the United States is Woodrow Wilson (1856-1924), who served (1913-1921). Wilson was President of Princeton University (1902-1910), where he graduated (1879) and taught as Professor of Jurisprudence & Political Economy (1890-1902). Wilson won the 1919 Peace Nobel Prize.

President Woodrow Wilson portrait December 2 1912

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• 28th State to enter the Union is Texas (December 29, 1845)

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In sport

• The jersey number 28 has been retired by several North American sports teams in honor of past playing greats or other key figures:
• In Major League Baseball: the Minnesota Twins, for Hall of Famer Bert Blyleven.

• In the NFL: the Chicago Bears, for Willie Galimore; the Kansas City Chiefs, for Abner Haynes; the New York Jets, for Hall of Famer Curtis Martin; the St. Louis Rams, for Hall of Famer Marshall Faulk.

• Car number twenty-eight was formerly run in the NASCAR Sprint Cup Series by Yates Racing. The most notable driver was Davey Allison, who had the ride for his entire Cup Series career.

• Baseball’s 28th All-Star Game was played at Municipal Stadium, Kansas City, Missouri, on July 11, 1960.
• In the British game of cricket, the wicket is made of three wooden stakes each 28 inches high stuck into the ground.
• The widely used 6-6 domino set contains 28 pieces. 

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In books, music and movies

• In Quebec, Canada, François Pérusse, made a parody of Wheel of Fortune in which all of the letters picked by the contestant were present 28 times. As a result, 28 became an almost Mythical number used by many Quebec youths, the phrase “Y’en a 28” (There are 28 [Letters]) became a running gag still used and recognized more than 15 years later.
• The Preludes, Opus 28 consists of Frédéric Chopin’s 24 preludes for piano, ordinarily but not necessarily played together in concert.
• 28 Days (2000) is a 104-minute movie directed by Betty Thomas and starring Sandra Bullock, Viggo Nortensen, Dominic West, Diane Ladd. A big-city newspaper columnist is forced to enter a drug and alcohol rehab center after ruining her sister’s wedding and crashing a stolen limousine.
• 28 Days Later (2002). Four weeks after a mysterious, incurable virus spreads throughout the UK, a handful of survivors try to find sanctuary.
• 28 Weeks Later (2007). Six months after the rage virus was inflicted on the population of Great Britain, the US Army helps to secure a small area of London for the survivors to repopulate and start again. But not everything goes to plan.  
• 28 Hotel Rooms (2012). A novelist and an accountant meet while they are traveling for work, and though they both are in relationships, their one-night stand could become something more.

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In militaria, shipping and aviation

• T-28 Trojan
• T-28 Trojan is a training military aircraft. In 1948 the U.S. Air Force originally acquired the T-28A as a trainer to replace the venerable AT-6. The T-28B and T-28C were acquired by the U.S. Navy and included a tailhook for carrier landing training. T-28 was shown on Card #15 of Topps Wings: Friend or Foe (1952).

 

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• Miles M.28 Mercury
• The Miles M.28 Mercury was a British aircraft designed for either training or communications during the Second World War. It was a single-engine, monoplane of wooden construction with a twin tail and a tailwheel undercarriage with retractable main units.
• Originally, the M.28 had been planned as a replacement for the Whitney Straight and Monarch, but this was shelved when war broke out.
• In 1941, the project was revived in response to a requirement for a training and communications aircraft. The design was produced as a private venture by Ray Bournon using Miles’ normal wooden construction. The resulting machine introduced several features not found on trainers ncluding retractable undercarriage and trailing edge flaps. In the communications role, the M.28 had four seats and a range of 500 miles (800 km).
• Owing to Miles’ heavy commitment to war-production, however, only six aircraft were built, of slightly varying specifications, the last being the Mercury 6 which first flew in early 1946.  Examples were operated in the United Kingdom, Germany, Switzerland and Australia.

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• XB-28
• The North American XB-28 (NA-63) was an aircraft proposed by the North American Aviation to fill a strong need in the United States Army Air Corps for a high-altitude medium bomber. It never entered into full production, with only two aircraft having been built.

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• MiG-28
• The MiG-28 is a fictional aircraft that has appeared in several different unrelated works. These fictional aircraft have been independently created and the aircraft share nothing but a name.
• The first instance of a “MiG-28” was in the 1978 Quiller novel The Sinkiang Executive written by Adam Hall. Referred to in the work as the MiG-28D, it was an aircraft that resembled a somewhat modified MiG-25, but with sharper air intakes and swept wings.
• In the 1986 film Top Gun, Lt. Pete “Maverick” Mitchell (Tom Cruise) squared off against MiG-28s of unspecified nationality. These were actually US Northrop F-5s, which at the time were being used as aggressor aircraft for dissimilar air combat training at the real TOPGUN seminar (now known as the United States Navy Fighter Weapons School). The F-5s “acting” as MiG-28s were painted flat black to indicate their villainous status, and retained those paint jobs after production closed. The paint also increased the aircraft’s visibility, a plus for filmmaking.
• Another MiG-28 is “seen” in the 1988 ABC television series Supercarrier. This MiG-28 was a fictional Soviet stealth fighter. An F-16 fighter in Soviet-style markings was used to “simulate” the Soviet fighter.

Top Gun pretendy MiG-28

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• Fokker F-28 Fellowship
• The Fokker F28 Fellowship is a short range jet airliner designed developed in Holland (1964) and assembled by defunct Dutch aircraft manufacturer Fokker. The Fokker F-28 Fellowship jet was to complement Fokker’s highly successful F-27 turboprop.
• Announced by Fokker in April 1962, production was a collaboration between a number of European companies, namely Fokker, MBB of West Germany, Fokker-VFW (also of Germany), and Short Brothers of Northern Ireland. There was also government money invested in the project, with the Dutch government providing 50% of Fokker’s stake and the West German government having 60% of the 35% German stake.
• In total 241 Fokker F-28s were sold, including 160 in commercial service and 10 used as corporate jets.
• The Fokker F-28 shown on a 40¡ Nauru stamp. Postage stamps with Fokker airplanes

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• Enstrom F-28
• The Enstrom F-28 and 280 are a family of small, light piston-engined helicopters produced by the Enstrom Helicopter Corporation.[1]
• Since delivering their first helicopter shortly after Federal Aviation Administration type certification of the F-28 model in April 1965, Enstrom helicopter has produced (as of 2007) approx 1,200 aircraft.[2]
• The company produces three models, the F-28, the more aerodynamic 280 and the turbine-engined 480, each with their own variants. The F-28 and 280 both use Lycoming piston engines virtually identical to those found in general aviation fixed-wing aircraft

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• T-28 Tank
• The Soviet T-28 multi-turret medium battle tank was among the world’s first medium tanks and became a symbol of the Red Army as was its heavier “brother” the T-35. Its silhouette is well known from pre-war newsreel about Soviet military parades in Moscow’s Red Square.
• 41 T-28 tanks were built in 1933 with hightest production of 131 in 1939. In the summer of 1941, the design of the T-28 became obsolete due to the drawbacks of multi-turret vehicles. The T-28 could hit any German tank from long distances.

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• The B28
• The B28, originally Mark 28, was a thermonuclear bomb carried by U.S. tactical fighter bombers and bomber aircraft. From 1962 to 1972 under the NATO nuclear weapons sharing program, American B28s also equipped six Europe-based Canadian CF-104 squadrons known as the RCAF Nuclear Strike Force. It was also supplied for delivery by UK-based Royal Air Force Valiant and Canberra aircraft assigned to NATO under the command of SACEUR. Also USN carrier based attack aircraft such as the A3D Skywarrior and the A4D Skyhawk were equipped with the MK 28.

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• HMS Kandahar (F28)
• HMS Kandahar (F28) was a K-class destroyer of the Royal Navy, named after the Afghan city of Kandahar.
• Kandahar was launched on 21 March 1939, and on 21 February 1941, in company with HMS Kimberley and HMS Manchester, she captured the German blockade runner SS Wahehe off Iceland. On 19 December 1941, she was part of British Force K, tasked to intercept an Italian convoy bound for Tripoli when she was irreparably damaged by a newly laid Italian mine whilst attempting to rescue the stricken HMS Neptune. She was scuttled the next day by Jaguar. 73 men went down with the ship.

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• HMS Cleopatra (F28)
• HMS Cleopatra (F28) was a Leander-class frigate of the Royal Navy, built at HMNB Devonport. She was launched on 25 March 1964 and commissioned on 4 January 1966.
• Upon Cleopatra’s commissioning, she joined the 2nd Destroyer Squadron, Far East Fleet and then participated in the Beira Patrol, which was designed to prevent oil reaching the landlocked Rhodesia via the then Portuguese colony of Mozambique (Lorenzo Marques).
• In 1969, Cleopatra was present at the Evans-Melbourne collision.
• In 1972, Cleopatra took part in escort duties during the Queen and Duke of Edinburgh’s South East Asia tour.
• In 1973, Cleopatra was dispatched to protect British trawlers against the Icelandic Coast Guard in the Second Cod War.
• Afterwards, Cleopatra began her modernisation, becoming the first Batch Two Leander to do so, which included the removal of her one twin 4.5-in gun to allow the addition of the Exocet anti-ship missile system.
• On 31 January 1992, Cleopatra was decommissioned. The following year, Cleopatra was sold for scrap.

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• Mosin–Nagant M/28
• The Mosin–Nagant is a bolt-action, internal magazine-fed, military rifle created under the government commission by Russian inventors, and used by the armed forces of the Russian Empire, the Soviet Union and various other nations.
• It has gone through many variations, the M/28 designed by the White Guard. The M/28 differs from the Army’s M/27 primarily in the barrel band design, which is a single piece compared to the M/27’s hinged band, and an improved trigger design. Barrels for the M/28 were initially purchased from SIG, and later from Tikkakoski and SAKO.
• The M/28-30 is an upgraded version of the M/28. The most noticeable modification is a new rear sight design.

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• Smith & Wesson (S & W) Model 28
• The most famous handgun with the 28 designation is the Smith & Wesson (S & W) Model 28, also known as the Highway Patrolman. It is an N-frame revolver chambered for the .357 Magnum cartridge, in production from 1954 to 1986. It is a budget version of the S&W Model 27.

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Other stuff

• The Roman numeral for 28 is XXVIII.
• The Arab alphabet has 28 letters
• Cities located at 28o latitude include: New Delhi, India.
• Cities located at 28o longitude include: Johannesburg, South Africa; Pretoria, South Africa; and Istanbul, Turkey.
• 28 is not yet used as the code for international direct dial phone calls.
• Two Cleveland skyscrapers have 28 floors, the McDonald Investment Center (1969): East 9th St. at Superior Ave. (305 ft);and the Marriott at Key Tower (1991): 127 Public Square, Cleveland (320 ft)
• Parker Brothers Monopoly board game consists of 40 squares with 28 properties for sale. In the U.S. version, the properties are named after locations in Atlantic City, NJ.

• The Runik alphabet, also called Futhark, used by Germanic peoples of northern Europe, Britain, Scandinavia, and Iceland (3rd century to the 16th or 17th century AD) has 28 letters.
• In Gematriya, the system of Hebrew Numerology, the number 28 corresponds to the word koakh, meaning “power”, “energy”.
• The number of days in the shortest month of the Gregorian calendar, February (except in leap years, when there are twenty-nine).
• The Gregorian calendar follows a 28-year cycle for the most part, since there are seven days in a week and leap year generally occurs every four years; usually, a calendar from any year is the same as that from 28 years earlier (e.g., 2008 and 1980 or 2009 and 2037). However, that rule holds only when there have been exactly seven leap days in a 28-year interval; years divisible by 100 but not by 400 are not leap years. Indeed, 1900 (as well as 2100, 2200, etc.) does not use the same calendar as 1872 (2072, 2172, etc., respectively) for the simple reason that 1900 is not a leap year. In 28 years, any day-of-the-week and date combination occurs exactly four times. February 29 will fall on each day of the week once.
• In Jewish tradition there is a 28 year solar cycle in which the sun returns to its place in Creation every 28 solar years. This is commemorated in April every 28 years with the recitation of Birkat Hachama, the blessing of the sun.
• There are 28 wheels on a Lockheed C-5 Galaxy.

• 28 is the common name for the parrot ‘Barnardius zonarius semitorquatus’, widely distributed in Western Australia and South Australia, because its call sounds like “wenniate”.
• In neo-Nazi circles, twenty-eight indicates Blood and Honour (28 = BH – B – second letter of the alphabet and H – the eight letter).
• The number of Chinese constellations, “Xiu” or “mansions” (a literal translation), equivalent to the 12 western zodiac constellations.
• 28 is the postal code of the province of Madrid, in Spain.
• Twenty Eight is a popular game played in Kerala India.
• 28 is the number of the French department Eure-et-Loir.
• There are approximately twenty-eight grams in an ounce, a measure frequently used in the illegal drug trade.
• In horticulture the America and Cherish Roses have 28 orange pink petals; the Black Velvet Rose has 28 dark red petals; the Maestro Rose has 28 petals with a red center, pink edges and speckles; the Garden Party Rose has 28 white blend petals; and the Ophelia Rose has 28 light pink petals.

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Stupid Politicians And Bureaucrats Make What? Yes, That’s Right – Stupid Laws

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There has to be a little bit of truth at least in the saying that you get the politicians you deserve. If you vote for morons then I’m afraid the odds are that you’ll get stupid laws, rules and regulations.

It’s a worldwide disease, but here is a continuation from last Wednesday of some of the lesser known laws that govern the good citizens in the United States (listed by state alphabetically, last week we covered A to L, this week it’s the M’s and N’s.).

Enjoy (or cringe, perhaps).  

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MAINE

• To stroll down the street playing a violin is against the law. (Finally a law that is half sensible.)
• Mercury thermometers may not be sold in the city.
• It is illegal to park in front of Dunkin Donuts. (Hmmm, so that’s why there’s always a cop car outside it.)

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MARYLAND

• It’s illegal to take a lion to the movies. (So dinner and a what then?)
• An establishment using a strobe light must post a warning sign for epileptics. (They might have a fit if you didn’t.)
• You may not curse inside the city limits. (WTF!)
• It is a park rule violation to be in a public park with a sleeveless shirt. (Mine has sleeves, they’re short, but it has sleeves.)
• Any person caught committing adultery is subject to a $10 fine. (Bill Clinton would probably consider that good value for money!)

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MASSACHUCETTS

• At a wake, mourners may eat no more than three sandwiches. (That’s dead mean.)
• It is a crime to own an explosive golf ball.
• Snoring is prohibited unless all bedroom windows are closed and securely locked.
• All men must carry a rifle to church on Sunday. (That’s the only day I go to Church.)
• It is illegal to go to bed without first having a full bath. (Oh, oh! I usually just take a shower.)
• Selling arsenic-laced candy is subject to a $100 fine.
• A woman can not be on top in sexual activities. (Yes, men are much better – awe, come on!)
• Quakers and witches are banned.

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MICHIGAN

• Willfully destroying your old radio is prohibited.
• It is illegal for a man to scowl at his wife on Sunday.
• Seducing or debauching an unmarried woman can earn five years in jail. (Or a much longer sentence if you have to marry her!)
• It is illegal to let your pig run free in Detroit unless it has a ring in its nose. (What swine thought that one up?)
• There is a law that makes it legal for a farmer to sleep with his pigs, cows, horses, goats, and chickens.
• In Flint one who wears “saggy pants” can be jailed for four months. 
• A woman isn’t allowed to cut her own hair without her husband’s permission. (So can she get a hairdresser or another woman to do it?)

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MINNESOTA

• It is illegal to stand around any building without a good reason to be there. (I thought it was just supposed to be tents? You know loitering within tent?? See what I did there???)
• A person may not cross state lines with a duck atop his head. (That one is quackers.)
• Citizens may not enter Wisconsin with a chicken on their head. (Are they subject to a paltry fine?)
• Red cars may not drive down Lake Street, Minnieapolis.
• Hamburgers may not be eaten on Sundays. (Hot dog!)

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MISSISSIPPI

• If one is a parent to two illegitimate children, that person will go to jail for at least one month.
• It is illegal to teach others what polygamy is.
• A man may not seduce a woman by lying, and claiming he will marry her. (Who would do a thing like that?)
• It is illegal for a male to be sexually aroused in public. (Stiff penalties no doubt!)

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MISSOURI

• It is a crime to let an unaltered jackass run at large. (I’ve forgotten, who are Missouri’s Congressional Representatives?)
• No person may own a PVC pipe. (No Blue Man Group in Missouri then.)
• It’s illegal to sit on the curb of any city street and drink beer from a bucket. (Like I said before, a good night out ruined.)
• A milk man may not run while on duty. 
• It shall be unlawful to provide beer or other intoxicants to elephants.  (And, I imagine, quite expensive.)
• Minors are not allowed to purchase cap pistols, however they may buy shotguns freely. (Good law, give ‘em something that can kill people instead of just annoy them.)

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MONTANA

• One may not pretend to abuse an animal in the presence of a minor. (You mean you have to do it for real?)
• It is illegal to have a sheep in the cab of your truck without a chaperone. (Baaaaaaad law.)
• In Helena it is an offence to let your water sprinkler wet a passer-by. (Well really, the very idea!)
• It is a felony for a wife to open her husband’s mail. (Try enforcing that one!)
• It is illegal for a man and a woman to have sex in any other position other than missionary style. (Oh boy, knowing it’s illegal makes it even better!)
• Seven or more Indians are considered a raiding or war party and it is legal to shoot them. (Without reservations?)
• It is illegal to bring a bomb or rocket at city council proceedings.
• Worrying squirrels will not be tolerated. (You hear that Frank?)

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NEBRASKA

• If a child burps during church, his parent may be arrested.
• It is illegal for a mother to give her daughter a perm without a state license. (Straight up?)
• Doughnut holes may not be sold.
• It is illegal to do a reverse bungee jump. (Surely that’s stretching things a bit?)

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NEVADA

• It’s still “legal” to hang someone for shooting your dog on your property.
• A man is forbidden from buying drinks for more than three people other than himself at any one period during the day. (Do I hear a stampede of cheapskates heading for Nevada?)
• It is illegal to lie down on the sidewalk. (That’s okay, I usually just fall down.)
• Owning a slave is against the law. (Er… isn’t it everywhere?)

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NEW HAMPSHIRE

• On Sundays citizens may not relieve themselves while looking up. (Remember to keep your eyes shut then.)
• It is illegal to pick seaweed up off of the beach.
• Spite fences cannot be higher than five feet. (Try looking over that, shorty!)
• A law against shooting humans has been repealed. (Hands up sucker!)

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NEW JERSEY

• It is illegal to wear a bullet-proof vest while committing a murder. (But weapons are okay?)
• In Paterson it is illegal for an ice cream vendor to be annoying.
• You cannot pump your own gas. (Oh yes I can, just listen.)
• It is against the law for a man to knit during the fishing season.
• It is against the law to “frown” at a police officer.
• You may not slurp your soup. (But it tastes nicer that way.)

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NEW MEXICO

• Nudity is allowed, provided that male genitals are covered. (Bollocks!)
• Women may walk in public topless provided they have their nipples covered. (Where’s the point?)
• It’s forbidden for a female to appear unshaven in public. (Even their heads?)
• Abusing a computer is a crime.
• You may not carry a lunchbox down Main Street in Las Cruces.

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NEW YORK

• Women may go topless in public, providing it is not being used as a business. (Provided what is not being used as a business?)
• It is illegal for a woman to be on the street wearing “body hugging clothing”. (That’s the law lycra or not!)
• Citizens may not greet each other by “putting one’s thumb to the nose and wiggling the fingers”. (Now that would just be as dumb as this law, wouldn’t it?)
• The penalty for jumping off a building is death. (I understand the gravity of this law.)
• A person may not walk around on Sundays with an ice cream cone in his/her pocket.
• While riding in an elevator, one must talk to no one, and fold his hands while looking toward the door. (Farting is permitted is it?)
• Slippers are not to be worn after 10:00 PM (When else would you wear them?)

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NORTH CAROLINA

• It’s against the law to sing off key. (Thank goodness Mrs Miller is from Missouri.)
• In Transylvania County a Dalmation is deemed to be a “potentially dangerous” breed of dog. (Well spotted!)
• Elephants may not be used to plow cotton fields.
• While having sex, you must stay in the missionary position and have the shades pulled. (Now that’s a new name for them!)
• Women must have their bodies covered by at least 16 yards of cloth at all times.

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NORTH DAKOTA

• It is illegal to lie down and fall asleep with your shoes on.
• Beer and pretzels can’t be served at the same time in any bar or restaurant.
• Only US Citizens can be appointed to the Dry Pea and Lentil Council. (Naturally! What would foreigners know about such things?)
• It is legal to shoot an Indian on horseback, provided you are in a covered wagon. (How can you be on horseback and in a covered wagon at the same time?)
• One may be jailed for wearing a hat while dancing, or even for wearing a hat to a function where dancing is taking place.
• A food seller cannot be held responsible for making someone fat.

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The Missouri Mass Murderer

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’m sure not many of you will have heard of the Missouri Mass Murderer, but that’s probably because I just made it up to get a catchy title for this blog post.

Nevertheless there was such a person and she could even be described as a serial killer such was the number of her victims.

Born in Joplin, Missouri, her name was Elva Ruby Connes Miller and she murdered some of the best songs ever written. In fact she tortured some of them to death in the most horrific manner.

Despite having studied music, voice, and composition at Pomona College, the woman could not sing. She had not a note in her body. Tone deaf does not even begin to describe it. Shrill, out of key, horrendous vibrato when completely uncalled for. You name a wrong way of doing it and she did it. It was carnage.

Curiously, sometimes when someone does something particularly badly it turns out to be something you have to look at, or in this case listen to. And when you hear one song, you need to hear another just to make sure she was as bad as you thought.

Not surprisingly Mrs Miller had to self finance her first recordings but was eventually featured by KMPC disc jockey (and later Laugh-In announcer) Gary Owens on his radio program. Around the same time, 1960, she also appeared on a limited-run album of his comedy routines. Owens can therefore be blamed – sorry, credited – as the person who first discovered her.

Astonishingly Miller was signed to Capitol Records by Lex de Azevedo, a young up-and-coming producer at the label, although nowadays he apparently does not care to discuss his involvement with Miller!

Equally astonishingly, her first LP, ironically titled “Mrs. Miller’s Greatest Hits”, appeared in 1966 and sold over 250,000 copies in its first three weeks! She sang for US servicemen in Vietnam (they should probably have got her to sing to the Viet Cong), performed at the Hollywood Bowl, guest starred on numerous television shows, and appeared in Roddy McDowall’s film The Cool Ones.

But her fame was short-lived. Interest in Miller soon waned. She was dropped by Capitol and, in 1968, and released her final album, “Mrs. Miller Does Her Thing”, on the Amaret label. She later issued several singles on her own Vibrato Records label, then retired from singing in the early 1970s. She died in 1997 in Garden Terrace Retirement Center, in Vista, California.

A friend of mine introduced me to Mrs Miller’s noise (I won’t dignify it by calling it music) a few years ago when he gave me a CD of her greatest hits. 

But bad as it certainly is, I have put it to good use over the years. I like to take it to other people’s houses, or when we are in the car. I “big” up this great singer I have discovered, pop the CD into the player and then watch the utter confusion and dismay on their faces as they listen to what Mrs Miller has to offer.

Below are a few examples of her crimes. Tunes you may be familiar with “A Groovy Kind Of Love”, The Girl From Ipanema”, “Let’s Hang On”, Strangers In The Night”, “A Hard Days Night”, “Downtown”, and “These Boots Are Made For Walkin”. There are others on youtube.com if you get hooked, just do a search for Mrs Miller.

I usually say “Enjoy” at this point in my posts. However, today I do not think it is appropriate. Although I should perhaps add the disclaimer that, if you are of a sensitive nature you may find the following upsetting.

 

 

A Groovy Kind Of Love

 

 

The Girl From Ipanema

 
 

Let’s Hang On

 

 

Strangers In The Night

 

 

A Hard Days Night

 

 

Downtown

 

 

These Boots Are Made For Walkin