Movies, Monkeys And Mezcal, Fasab’s February Facts Continue.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yes, from movies to monkeys to mescal, an intoxicating collection of facts for you today.

Hope you find something interesting in this lot.

But whatever you do….



did you know3


Statistically you are more likely to

have a heart attack on Monday morning

than any other time.


you’ve made it to Tuesday.

heart attack on Monday



In the movie Home Alone

the Parisian airport scenes

were actually filmed in

Chicago’s O’Hare International Airport,

the luxurious business class seats were

built on a basketball court of a local high school

and the flooded basement scene

was filmed in that same school’s swimming pool.

Home alone movie Parisian Airport scene shot at O'Hare International



James Bond has killed 352 people over 22 films.

Pierce Brosnan was the deadliest Bond.

In GoldenEye alone, he killed 47 people.

Pierce Brosnan was the deadliest Bond



Believe it or not,

there are several competitions

in pig grunting imitation.

The Pig Grunting World Championship

and Agricultural show held annually in Paris

is among the most popular one.

Pig Grunting World Championship and Agricultural show



Another unusual competition

held every November in Amsterdam,

is the Cannabis Cup

which is the world´s largest cannabis festival,

where judges from around the world

sample and vote for their favorite marijuana varieties.

Cannabis Cup



The Ancient Egyptians buried their nobility

in the pyramids with burial goods that

ranged from everyday objects to the most

expensive items such as jewelry.

They believed the dead would use it in the afterlife.

Ancient Egyptians buried with goods for the afterlife



What’s the difference between mezcal and tequila?

The main difference between the two is the plant.

All tequila must be produced using blue agave,

whereas a variety of agave plants can

be used to make a single mezcal batch.

mezcal and tequila difference



The budget for the James Cameron film Titanic

was actually higher than the budget

spent on building the ship in real life.




After fruit flies successfully paved

the way for animals in space,

Albert II (a male rhesus monkey)

was the first primate sent into space.

Successfully making it to 83 miles (134 km)

above the Earth’s surface on June 4 ,1949,

Albert II tragically died when the parachute

on his recovery capsule failed upon re-entry.

(He was preceded by Albert I who failed

to attain the international standard of height

for being in space.

Albert I did not survive the launch.)

Albert II first monkey in space



More than one million creators

from over thirty countries

are earning money

from their YouTube videos,

while nearly half of them are

making a living from that.

earning money YouTube videos



During WWI Cher Ami was one of the

many birds used by the US Army Signal Corps

in France to transport important messages

from commanders in the battlefield.

In one of the missions Cher Ami was shot

by German troops after he took flight,

but the wounded bird continued flying

and heroically managed to deliver the

important message he carried.

As a result, a Lost Battalion of the Allies was saved,

and Cher Ami later was awarded the Croix de Guerre

by the French government.

After he died in June 1919,

the famous bird was preserved

by a taxidermist and

put on display at the Smithsonian.




Japanese doctors have observed patients

with “auto-brewery syndrome,”

in which high levels of candida yeast in the

intestines churn out so much alcohol

that they can cause drunkenness.

auto-brewery syndrome



Not that they are used so much nowadays,

but in a traditional hangman’s noose

there are 13 twists of the rope

and 13 steps to the gallows.

This is fact 13 today!

traditional hangman’s noose



I can’t make up my mind if this is

a terrible death or a great way to go,

but Donna Lange, 51, from Everett, Washington,

smothered her boyfriend with her breasts

after passing out on top of him.

Witnesses said they heard the man pleading

with her to get off of him.

Lange, who was heavily intoxicated, told the 

police she had no idea how the man had died.

She was charged with second-degree murder.

Donna Lange



Some people believe an episode of the

Cartoon Network show Johnny Bravo predicted 9/11.

In a scene from Johnny Bravo

that aired on April 27, 2001,

a movie poster shows a burning tower

with a smoke cloud with the words


I remain unconvinced by this conspiracy theory.

In fact, the fact that it’s a theory is a fact,

not the fact that it is a fact. If you see what I mean!





Being Calm Is Not Something I Rate.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


But of course something I do rate are puns.

Here’s some more.

Enjoy or endure!!!




Polce Toay Announce They Are

Nvestgatng A Strng Of ID Thefts.

ID Thefts



I hate washing up liquid.

Washing up solids is much simpler.

washing up liquid



My girlfriend is leaving me because I’ve got alopecia.

oh well it’s hair loss.




Cryptographers make terrible drummers.

They just sit there, fascinated by all the cymbals.




My new job as a taxidermist is pretty boring.

All I do is sit around and stuff.




My son is cold and calculating

I’ve turned the heating off whilst

he does his maths homework.




Got an insurance quote today for my car.

They offered me a fire-and-theft policy.

I thought, “Who’d nick a car that was on fire?”

"Why's your fire-and-theft policy so cheap?"



“When might we take the kids to Disneyland?”

the wife asked me a few weeks ago.

I thought about it, and replied, “May.”

It’s been a blast watching her pack,

and the kids getting excited.

All I did was correct her grammar.




A man walked over to a kid playing with a

huge lizard and asked if he could see it.

After fiddling around with it for a few moments,

he asked what its name was.

The kid replied with, “Tiny.”

“How on Earth did you ever get a name like that

for such a huge creature?” the man asked in awe.

The kid replied with, “Because he’s my newt!”




My wife is a mute.

She communicates by embroidery.

It’s her own version of sign language,

sew to speak.




I can’t believe they fired me from the clock factory

after all the extra hours I put in.

clock factory



I heard vandals have broken into

an origami exhibition

and ruined all the exhibits.

Police are trying to work out

how it all unfolded.




My gym instructor pointed at fifteen heavy dumbbells

and told me I had to lift them all

over the next quarter of an hour.

Weight a minute…

fifteen heavy dumbbells



What do you call seafood in a cement mixer?

Hardcore prawn.

cement mixer



News just in:

Stevie Nicks has announced her

engagement to William Shatner.

When they get married she will

be known as Stevie Shatner Nicks.





Those Who Throw Dirt Are Sure To Lose Ground.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Pun day again.

How did you get the week in without them?

It’s not easy, but you’ve made it and well done.

Here is the latest batch of the word play specials.

As always, enjoy!



When the human cannonball retired they couldn’t

find a replacement of the right caliber.



Wow my breakfast seems to have had a

really positive psychological effect on me!

Maybe it was that Freud egg I had for breakfast…..

I feel so Jung at heart?

Freud Egg



He tried to find a bunch of bananas at the supermarket,

but it turned out to be a fruitless search.




Could you call a chicken led rebellion a coop d’etat?

Call that a yolk?

coop d'etat


Did you hear about the frog who parked at fire hydrant

– the cops came along and toad him away…

frog toad


Did you hear about the Dentist and Manicurist who got married?

They fought tooth and nail!!

fighting tooth and nail


It wasn’t that he had anything against French football,

he just didn’t like Toulouse



Teaching your kids in the heat of the moment

is bad heir-conditioning.

heir conditioning


There has to be a repair shop

for baroque musical instruments.



“You can whip our cream

but you can’t beat our milk,”

said the farmer.



This is just bang out of order!

bang out of order


Somebody called me ‘pretentious’ the other day.

Well, I nearly choked on my tall soy carmel machiato latte

with no foam and extra extra (sweet and low)..



The wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

Boy! Did she hit the roof.




I phoned my work this morning and said,

“Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”

He said,

“You have a wee cough?”

I said,

“Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!”

have a wee cough



I got arrested for shoplifting in the supermarket today.

I paid for six cans of Sprite at the checkout,

but when security checked my bag

he discovered I’d picked seven up.

7up can


I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy.

This pan he sold me doesn’t fly at all.



We had another row last night,

the underlying message being that my

“sense of direction was causing huge problems in the relationship”.

Eventually, tired and frustrated, I stood up,

packed my things and right.

bad sense of direction



I’m nervous and excited about the new

job I start at a restaurant tomorrow.

I just can’t wait.

bad waiter


Did you here about the Taxidermist who was mugged?

He fought off his attacker with his bear hands.



I saw a guy stacking shelves at the supermarket

complaining because the top shelf was broken,

and he couldn’t keep it up.

I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction.

surpermarket aisle




Pun Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”


Yet another selection of those jokes you love to hate.

I wouldn’t guarantee the politically correctness of some of them, but enjoy them if you can!



How do Welsh people cross the road?





Are dwarfs the lowest form of human life?

cartoon dwarf



What are the rules of gay poker?

Queens are wild and straights don’t count.




I had a mate who was suicidal.

He was really depressed, so I pushed him in front of a steam train.

He was chuffed to bits.




A little old lady takes her dead cats to a taxidermist to be stuffed.

“Would you like them mounted?” asked the taxidermist.

“Oooo no….” says the lady, “just snuggled up next to each other.”

stuffed cats



A woman in the pharmacy sees a deal offering 5 boxes of tampons for a dollar.

She can’t believe how good the deal is and asks the manager, “Is that price correct?”

“Sure is,” says the manager, “It’s a special offer, 5 boxes for a dollar and there are no strings attached!”

tampon choc



Did you hear about the gay carpenter?

He always left a saw behind!




A psychotic rapist escaped recently from a mental institution for the criminally insane. He ran across the street to the laundromat hoping to find a change of clothes. Inside, he discovered two women, and forced them to have sex. Then he fled out the back door.

The next day the local newspaper headline read, “NUT SCREWS WASHERS AND BOLTS!”

cartoon crazy dude



Irish bloke walks into a pub and says, “Drink of orange please landlord.”

The landlord asks, “Still orange?”

Irish fella replies, “Yes, I haven’t changed my mind.”

irishman bar



Two blondes walk into a building…

Wow, you’d think at least one of them would have seen it.




What do you call a bloke with a one inch penis?





After announcing he’s getting married, a Scotsman tells his pal he’ll be wearing a kilt.

‘And what’s the tartan?’ asks the mate.

‘Oh, she’ll be wearing a white dress.’ he replies.




Two parrots on a perch.

One turns to the other and says, “Can you smell fish?”




What qualifications do you need to be a road sweeper?


You just pick it up as you go along!




Good King Wenseslas called his local pizza parlour.

“Would you like your usual, sir?”

“Oh yes,” he replied. “Deep pan: crisp and even.”




A customer is ordering food in an Indian restaurant.

“Waiter, what’s this Chicken Tarka?”

The waiter replies, “it’s the same as Chicken Tikka, but it’s a little ‘Otter.”