“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Hi folks.
It’s Black Friday.
This is the day they let the crazy people out.
They wrestle and fight and tug
and roll around on the floor hitting each other
in a frenzy of greed and stupidity.
It’s fun to watch, but I’m staying at home.
How about you?
If you want to know why then have
a look at these videos and photos.
Enjoy and be safe.
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Okay, wipe that smirk off your faces.
Of course I haven’t run out of puns. Whoever would believe such a thing.
And just to prove it, here are some more.
Enjoy, I know you will.
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I ate the burger with relish.
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Q: Why did Mozart kill all his chickens ?
A: Because all they would say was ” Bach , Bach ………Bach , Bach”
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You say that this beverage is non-alcoholic.
But where is the proof?
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The best vitamin for making friends is B-1.
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When they said I was mad I went out and got drunk.
I guess it was a choice between having a bottle in front of me
or a frontal lobotomy.
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When the artist tried to draw a cube he had a mental block.
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Coffee is for mugs
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Just been on bigbustycoons.com
Damn, those guys have really good bus companies.
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My wife shouted upstairs, “The sun’s just come out.”
I thought great, threw on some shorts and
flip flops and shot down the stairs.
I was rather shocked when I got down to find
our lad holding hands with his mate Michael.
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There’s no denying it, Rap is 75% Crap
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I just saw an advert for the new film: ‘The Hole – Now in 3D!’
Well, surely it has to be in 3D otherwise it’s just a circle.
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You invented White Out didn’t you?
Correct me If I’m wrong….
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A lot of stupid people who don’t keep up with current
affairs still don’t know who Kim Jong Un is.
Duhhh, she is the leader of North Korea.
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An unnamed weatherman has reacted angrily to being
sacked because he always gives cold gloomy forecasts.
So I guess it’s no more mist and ice guy.
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Q. What makes a riot?
A. Three dyslexics.
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A colleague just burst into my office
while I was busy working
and demanded to know what an
electrical synapse in the human body was.
The nerve.
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Did you hear about the guy who got his thrills
by shoving resistors up his bottom.
He definitely sounds like an Ohmosexual to me.
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My internet bride got delivered today.
She’s the WiFi always dreamed of.
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If you were lost in fog, would you be mist?
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Finally some news from this week on the stock market.
Helium was up, but feathers were down.
Paper was stationary, but pencils lost a few points.
Elevators rose but escalators continued their slow decline.
Switches were off and mining equipment hit rock bottom.
The raisin market has dried up.
Pampers remained unchanged while Sun peaked at mid-day.
Andrex tissues touched a new bottom.
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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It’s Monday and that means some more quiz show answers.
I can’t make up my mind if they are getting worse every week, but they don’t ever seem to improve much that’s for sure!
Enjoy.
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Q: What hard cheese derives its name from the city of Rome?
A: Swiss
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Q: Who are the cartoon mascots of Rice Krispies cereal?
A: Crispy & Crunch
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Q: In religion, the Jehovah’s Witnesses distribute Awake and what other magazine?
A: MAD
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Q: What stock symbol does International Business Machines trade under?
A: NYB
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Q: What former child actor played the sympathetic Cornelius in the original “Planet of the Apes”?
A: Gary Coleman
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Q: In 1994, what sporting event was canceled due to a player’s strike?
A: China
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Q: What “T” is both an item of underwear and a rising column of warm air?
A: Turtle
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Q: The name of what ceremony of the installation of a new monarch comes from the Latin for “crown”?
A: Head
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Q: Which US state is home to the Boston Symphony Orchestra?
A: Boston
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Q: What cast member of “The Carol Burnett Show” played the title character on NBC’s “Mama’s Family?”
A: Mama
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Q: Which figure skater was implicated in the 1994 attack on Olympic teammate Nancy Kerrigan?
A: Monica Lewinsky
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Q: In nature, most unripe fruit is which color, purple or green?
A: Plum
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Q: What was the name of Madonna’s concert tour in 1990?
A: Blond Tart
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Q: The name of which small, wingless, jumping insect precedes “bite”, “collar”, and “market” to give three familiar terms?
A: Bicycle
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“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Time for another bunch of those word plays they call puns.
Get your groans ready and enjoy!
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I usually take steps to avoid elevators.
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The girl wanted to lose weight so she went to the paint store. She heard she could get thinner there.
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He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.
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The cannibal’s cookbook titled ‘How to Better Serve your Fellow Man’ was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.
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My friend wore a blindfold at the shooting range, he didn’t know what he was missing.
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If you need something done, call an electrician – they conduit.
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Although Nobelists tend to have dynamite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.
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The police arrested me after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.
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When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.
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The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.
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The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.
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Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.
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I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.
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I hate the price of candy at the movie theater. They’re always raisinette.
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All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed except for one. He was a Peking Duck.
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Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. Wow, I never thought I’d hear myself say that.
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Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.
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She’s happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.
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England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool
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When you think about it, mummies are bound to be uptight.
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fasab 