A Day Not Sober Is Often A Day Wasted!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A day not sober is often a day wasted and a week without a pun day just isn’t worth thinking about.

So here you are, another short selection of the jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I always have a great laugh when I’m mountain climbing.

I find them hilly areas.

hilly areas

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The worst job I ever had was working in

a factory making cowboy records.

Howdy pressing.

howdy

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Say what you like about iPhones, but you can’t

speak I’ll about their clever autocorrect feature.

autocorrect dad-mom-out

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I spent all morning walking around in the wife’s panties.

She’s a big woman.

big-mamas-undies

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Had to fire my tailor.

It was nothing personal,

he just didn’t seam right.

suits-that-fit-bad-too-big-too-smal1

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My friend told me he was going to

a fancy dress party as an Italian island.

I said to him “Don’t be Sicily!”

sicily_malta_map

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I went to the Job Centre and all they

offered me was a job making beds.

I turned them down.

turndown

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My friend Dave asked me if I wanted him to

recite the first twenty one letters of the alphabet to me.

“It’s up to U” I replied.

up2u

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I used to have more money than sense,

Nowadays I’m broke AND stupid.

22-carat-gold-toilet-paper-for-the-rich-and-stupid-from-the-toilet-paper-man-in-australia-theflyingtortoise

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At last night’s pub quiz, a question came up:

“What is another name for a grey goose?”

I just couldn’t think of the Anser.

anser_erythropus

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My neighbor asked me what I thought of her kids.

I said, “They should go far.”

Brimming with pride, she said “Really?”

“Yes,” I said, “And the sooner they start, the better.”

bad kids

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Two removal men got into an argument.

They took it outside.

cartoon-removal-men

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Been using this blog to try my hand at writing.

So far, it’s being a lot more successful than my foot.

writing

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I have decided to start a company where all the money

made will buy bread for Indian children’s curries.

It will be a naan profit organization.

naan

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When I was a teenager my mum always used to say

that my room was so messy I’d never

get any ‘self respecting girl’ to go in there.

Luckily those weren’t the girls I was after.

drunk-girl

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5 thoughts on “A Day Not Sober Is Often A Day Wasted!

  1. Ok. You Got Me At The Title. Heh heh 🙂

    It’s been a crazy week. Sorry I haven’t come by sooner! Thanks for stopping by my corner. Cheers, D

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