I Said He Would Be Entertaining.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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donaldtrump

Say what you like about him, but he is entertaining. Trump is already making what was looking like one of the dullest election campaigns in history into something worth looking at – just now and again though.

The latest nonsense comes from the business world, namely Macy’s, NBC and Univision.

Macy’s has decided to drop Trump-related merchandise, and the other two are going to break off ties (pun, tee-hee!) with the Donald.

The Macy’s decision is fairly clear, they’d rather run away from controversy and lose money than ride out the storm. I wonder do they sell goods manufactured in the sweat shops of the world, often by children? Maybe we should look in their hypocrisy department – fourth floor next to the white flags if I remember correctly?

waving white surrender flag

However, no one knows exactly what the NBC and Univision decision means in practical terms. For example, will they sell their half of the Miss USA and Miss Universe pageants and if they do who will they sell it to? Or will they buy Trump’s half which will mean giving him top dollar for the shows because I don’t think he will let them away softly. In fact he would be within his rights to sue NBC for breach of contract relating to the pageants if this dodgy decision leads to a cancellation.

Either way it will be more wealth for Trump, which is probably what the move was designed NOT to do when they were thinking about it. That’s assuming they did think about it, which appears increasing unlikely.

trump two fingers

Neither has NBC given great thought as to who is going to host “The Apprentice” in a post-Trump era. They’ve hinted that they are going to look for a new star to replace Trump on the long-running reality show, but he’ll be a hard act to follow. Maybe it’s a chance for another dose of the limelight for the Shark Tank’s Mr Wonderful or even Mark Cuban, both of whom seem to thrive on the small screen and both of whom seem to have egos on the grand scale.

This hasty decision also leaves a BIG question mark about the partiality of these TV companies during the election race. Will they – or perhaps better, can they – continue to cover Trump fairly as a presidential candidate?

Former President Bush, President Bush and Governor Bush depart the christening ceremony of the USS George H.W. Bush in Virginia

Then there’s former Florida Gov. Jeb Bush, part of the Bush, Bush and Bush super wealthy and well connected dynasty who want the big seat in the White House again. Jeb has said his decision to run for the Republican nomination will be based on two things: his family and whether he can lift America’s spirit.

After the great job his father and big brother did as President in lifting America’s spirits (a little sarcasm there) how could the voters do anything other than make him the GOP Presidential candidate? Oh dear me!

Despite the family history, Bush seems to be making good progress so far. But he had an easy start, because prior to the arrival of Trump on the scene he had no high profile rival. He still holds a significant lead over the second-place Trump.

Some think Jeb Bush would be the best candidate to handle illegal immigration and social issues. Just like his brother perhaps, see video.

On the economy Trump would probably be favorite, especially after the way Dubya Bush let spending go out of control during the latter stages of his war-mongering Presidency.

Apart from these two, although there are numerous others in the field,there does not seem to be any other close runners. Not yet anyway. But things in election races can always change suddenly as a skeleton or two tumble from their closets.

Trump is trying to capitalize on his business background. There is no doubt that that gives him an advantage over the career politicians. In business Trump lives or dies by his decisions. As for the Senators and Governor would-be’s, they are used to other people paying for their mistakes not them personally. It’s a significant difference in the mindsets of the two types of contender.

There is no doubt that Trump is correct when he says that the “American public is ready for a leader with a proven track record of success.” This is particular so after eight years of a dithering Obama administration.

Whether or not “Eighty percent of Central American girls and women are raped crossing into the United States,” one would have thought that America was ready for someone who wasn’t afraid to tell it how it is, instead of trying to pander to every minority viewpoint be it legitimate or crazy.

In politics a bit of controversy is always…

what’s the word….

“Entertaining?” That’s it.

trump with hand mic

As if to emphasize the fact, contrast what is going on in the Republican camp with the Democrats.

Hillary Clinton launched her presidential bid via a lackluster video message on social media way back in April and she continues to be the overwhelming front-runner among Democratic hopefuls for the White House job.

In fact the Democrat competition has turned into an amalgamation of Dullsville & Boringtown. There’s only one horse (make that horse’s ass) in the running. What she needs to blow all that cash for I don’t know. Build a hospital ward for the poor you dummy, you’re already selected.

hillary rodham clinton presidential bid 2016

Vice President Joe Biden, who has twice before made unsuccessful bids for the Oval Office – in 1988 and 2008 – might make another one, unsuccessful one that is. Recently he has said he thinks he’d “make a good President.” He is perhaps basing that on comments in the press that he is known for his foreign policy and national security expertise. He shouldn’t, because during the past eight years he has shown absolutely no grasp of either foreign affairs or national security.

Of course, it may well be that come the actual Presidential election next year, it will be Jeb versus Hillary and dull as they are the Democrats may win again. In a democracy the voters sometimes get it wrong.

In the meantime I’m still finding the Donald’s entry into the fray, what’s that word again….

“Entertaining!”

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It’s Hard To Explain How Good I Am At Describing Things!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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But I can still describe today 

–  it’s Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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If you think you dream in color,

is it just a pigment of your imagination?

dreaming in color

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My boss fired me for complaining about the office escalator,

It didn’t go down well.

office escalator

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First guy: “What would you do if your son told you he was gay?”

Second guy: “I’d buy him a straight jacket.”

straight jacket

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Paddy goes for a job interview at a chemical factory.

The manager asks, “Have you worked with chemicals before?”

Paddy replies, “Yes.”

The manager then asks, “Can you tell me what nitrate is?”

Paddy replies, “Yes, it’s time and a half.”

job interview cartoon

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I was on holiday in the Alps

when I saw a sign saying ‘Ski Hire’.

So I went a bit further up the slope.

ski hire

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I’ve just bought a shire horse.

As if my other horse wasn’t shy enough.

shire horse

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I keep having recurring nightmares where

I’m in a hospital surrounded by loads of pregnant women.

Could I be going through a midwife crisis?

cartoon hospital

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I’ve just got a job testing hover boards.

The money’s not great,

but it keeps me off the streets.

hover boards

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Pirate cheerleaders have it easy.

“Give me an R!”…

Pirate cheerleaders

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A guy came up to me the other day and said,

“I’m a 3-5 stringed instrument of the harp family,

popular among nobles in medieval Europe.”

I said, “You’re a lyre!”

 

lyre

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It will be Google’s birthday soon.

They’re planning a search party.

Google’s birthday

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I went for a depression test.

Came back negative.

Oh, NO!

depression test

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I rang SeaWorld the other day,

because I wanted some information.

Before I got through to an employee,

I got a tape telling me

“This call may be recorded for training porpoises.”

training porpoises

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If someone asks you to

spell “Part A” backwards,

don’t do it.

It’s a trap……

a trap

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Steppenwolf was an assumed name.

He was born Toby Wild.

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Apparently Towels Are The Biggest Cause Of Dry Skin.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I couldn’t make my mind for a while whether that title was a pun or a fabulous fact.

But it’s Pun Day, so a play on words it is.

Enjoy or endure!

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My uncle works for a company

that makes bicycle wheels.

He’s the Spokesman.

bicycle wheel spokes

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Police, “You’re under arrest for trespassing.”

Me, “On what grounds?”

no trespassing sign

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I know a guy who in his spare time likes to dress up as a knight,

and jump over 20 parked cars on a horse.

I call him Medieval Knievel.

Medieval Knight

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Having fake teeth.

That’ll denture confidence

dentures

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I actually tried plane sailing the other day….

It’s not as easy as it’s made out to be.

cartoon plane sailing

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Why do elephants have big ears?

Because Noddy wouldn’t pay the ransom.

Big Ears

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My wife always gets annoyed when I leave her out.

Especially if it’s raining.

woman in rain

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Arkansas is just Kansas with pirates.

Pirates

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Once when I was in Chicago I did 35 press-ups in a row…

The elevator attendant looked pretty annoyed.

elevator buttons

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I’ve spent my entire life researching the multiples of zero,

my career has amounted to nothing. 

lots of zeros

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I asked my friend the other day, “Where’s your mum from?”

He replied, “Alaska.”

I said, “Don’t worry, I’ll ask her myself.”

Alaska

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I saw a man with a trolley

full of horseshoes and rabbits’ feet earlier,

trying to get it up a hill.

I thought, “He’s pushing his luck.”

horseshoes and rabbits' feet

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Some people say it’s sick and perverted to be a flasher.

I think it shows a lot of balls.

cartoon flasher

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A Zen master once said to me,

“Do the opposite of whatever I tell you.”

So I didn’t.

cartoon zen master

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I was referred to Dr. Dre the other day,

I have to go in for a hip-hoperation.

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Did You Know – The More I Know, The More I Know I Don’t know.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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This is a bit Donald Rumsfeld, but it is certainly true that the more of these facts I see, the more I know I don’t know, except I would know if I could remember them all.

But enough of that.

Let’s get on with today’s lot.

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did you know3

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The official state vegetable of Oklahoma

is the watermelon.

watermelon, official state vegetable of Oklahoma

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Horses cannot breathe through their mouths.

Horse's mouth

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The word ‘Hazard’ comes from the Arabic ‘al zahr’ which means ‘the dice’.

The term came to be associated with dice during the Crusades

and eventually took on a negative connotation because

games of dice were associated with gambling.

Hazard sign

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If you eat a teaspoon of sugar after eating something spicy,

it will completely neutralize the heat.

teaspoon of sugar

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When the oldest person on Earth was born,

there was a completely different set of people on the planet.

oldest person on Earth

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The last veteran of the American Civil War died in 1956,

long enough to see the atomic bomb dropped in Japan.

Albert_Woolson_(ca._1953)
Albert Henry Woolson, last surviving Civil War veteran on either side whose status is undisputed.

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A “butt load” is an actual unit of measurement,

equivalent to 126 gallons.

butt load - giant_ass_in_seat

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The word ‘posh’, which denotes luxurious rooms or accommodations,

originated when ticket agents in England

marked the tickets of travelers going by ship to the Orient.

Since there was no air conditioning in those days,

it was always better to have a cabin on the shady side of the ship

as it passed through the Mediterranean and Suez area.

Since the sun is in the south, those with money paid extra

to get cabins on the left, or port, traveling to the Asia,

and on the right, or starboard, when returning to Europe.

Hence their tickets were marked with the initials for

Port Outbound Starboard Homebound, or POSH.

POSH logo black_full

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Nepal is the only country without a rectangular flag,

it looks like two pennants glued one on top of the other.

Nepal-Flag

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Dr Seuss wrote “Green Eggs And Ham”

to win a bet against his publisher

who thought that Seuss could not complete

a book using only 50 words.

Green Eggs And Ham Dr Seuss

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Crocodiles are more closely related to birds than to lizards.

american-crocodile

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Not only was James Garfield ambidextrous,

he could write Latin with one hand

and Greek with the other at the same time.

James Garfield ambidextrous

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Shakespeare and Pocahontas

were alive at the same time.

Shakespeare and Pocahontas

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Kiribati is the first country in the world

that will be entirely lost due to rising sea levels.

They are already planning the complete and

permanent evacuation of the population.

Kiribati

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Duddley Do Right’s Horses name was “Horse.”

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Quizzers, Your Moment Has Come!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Hello to all you quizzers out there. Your moment has indeed come.

It’s time for the Monday quiz here at the fasab blog.

Another random selection of questions and as usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy, and good luck.

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quiz 09

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Q.  1:  What is the longest river in South America?

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Q.  2:  Philip Pirrip is the central character in which famous Charles Dickens novel?

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Q.  3:  ‘Firefly’, ‘The Mole’ and ‘Fab 2’ are all examples of what?

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Q.  4:  This famous historical duke and his horse both had capital cities named after them. Can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  5:  The island of Zealand is part of which country?

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Q.  6:  What is the name of the satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller set during World War II from 1942 to 1944?

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Q.  7:  What is the name of the Norwegian politician who became a puppet leader of his country during World War II, his name now a byword for treachery?

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Q.  8:  This 1999 movie starring Will Smith, who also sang the title song, won five Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Screenplay and Worst Original Song – what was it?

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Q.  9:  Which island has the 2 official languages Sinhalese and Tamil?

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Q. 10:  The site of this famous battle is now a National Monument, but in which American state did the Battle of The Little Bighorn take place?

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Q. 11:  In order of popularity, can you name the world’s top three religions?

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Q. 12:  Which South American city provides the setting for the 1982 movie ‘Missing’, starring Jack Lemmon?

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Q. 13:  British Honduras is now called what?

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Q. 14:  What Catholic Bishop was killed in Rome on February 14 AD 270?

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Q. 15:  Where were the ‘Camp David Accords’ signed, and by whom?

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Q. 16:  Who,  in the 1970s and at the age of forty-three, became the world’s first female President and the youngest Head of State in Latin America?

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Q. 17:  Who founded the first US detective agency in 1850?

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Q. 18:  For what invention is Earl Silas Tupper best known?

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Q. 19:  Who said in a 1933 movie, “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” (A bonus point if you can name the movie.)

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Q. 20:  Which super group were originally called the ‘New Yardbirds’?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What is the longest river in South America?

A.  1:  The Amazon.

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Q.  2:  Philip Pirrip is the central character in which famous Charles Dickens novel?

A.  2:  Great Expectations.

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Q.  3:  ‘Firefly’, ‘The Mole’ and ‘Fab 2’ are all examples of what?

A.  3:  Vehicles in the TV series Thunderbirds.

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Q.  4:  This famous historical duke and his horse both had capital cities named after them. Can you name them? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  4:  The famous historical duke is the Duke of Wellington, Wellington being the capital city of New Zealand;  the name of his horse was Copenhagen which is also the name of the capital city of Denmark.  

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Q.  5:  The island of Zealand is part of which country?

A.  5:  Denmark.

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Q.  6:  What is the name of the satirical novel by the American author Joseph Heller set during World War II from 1942 to 1944?

A.  6:  Catch-22.

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Q.  7:  What is the name of the Norwegian politician who became a puppet leader of his country during World War II, his name now a byword for treachery?

A.  7:  Vidkun Quisling.

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Q.  8:  This 1999 movie starring Will Smith, who also sang the title song, won five Golden Raspberry Awards for Worst Picture, Worst Director, Worst Screen Couple, Worst Screenplay and Worst Original Song – what was it?

A.  8:  Wild, Wild West.

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Q.  9:  Which island has the 2 official languages Sinhalese and Tamil?

A.  9:  Sri Lanka.

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Q. 10:  The site of this famous battle is now a National Monument, but in which American state did the Battle of The Little Bighorn take place?

A. 10:  Montana.

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Q. 11:  In order of popularity, can you name the world’s top three religions?

A. 11:  Christianity (2 billion followers approximately), Islam (1.6 billion) and Hinduism (1 billion).

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Q. 12:  Which South American city provides the setting for the 1982 movie ‘Missing’, starring Jack Lemmon?

A. 12:  Santiago de Chile. (You get a point if you just said Santiago.)

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Q. 13:  British Honduras is now called what?

A. 13:  Belize.

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Q. 14:  What Catholic Bishop was killed in Rome on February 14 AD 270?

A. 14:  Did the date give it away? The answer is, St Valentine.

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Q. 15:  Where were the ‘Camp David Accords’ signed, and by whom?

A. 15:  Although they are named after the location at which the secret negotiations preceding them took place, The ‘Camp David Accords’ were actually signed at the White House in Washington DC, by Egyptian President Anwar El Sadat and Israeli Prime Minister Menachem Begin on 17 September 1978, witnessed by United States President Jimmy Carter.

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Q. 16:  Who, in the 1970s at the age of forty-three, became the world’s first female President and the youngest Head of State in Latin America?

A. 16:  Isabel Peron.

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Q. 17:  Who founded the first US detective agency in 1850?

A. 17:  Allan Pinkerton.

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Q. 18:  For what invention is Earl Silas Tupper best known?

A. 18:  The clue was in the name, the answer is ‘Tupperware’.

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Q. 19:  Who said in a 1933 movie, “I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thoughts, I’d rather dance with the cows till you came home” (A bonus point if you can name the movie.)

A. 19:  Groucho Marx in ‘Duck Soup’.

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Q. 20:  Which super group were originally called the ‘New Yardbirds’?

A. 20:  Led Zeppelin.

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Time To Take The Brain Out For Some Exercise!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, brain exercise it is. Quiz day again folks.

Another random mixture of subjects and questions, some easy, some difficult and some you know you should know.

As usual the answers are given waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 10

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Q.  1:  What name links the standard infantry rifle of the US Army from 1873 to 1936 and the popular animated television series ‘The Simpsons’?

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Q.  2:  ‘Backrub’ was the original name for what well known company?

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Q.  3:  ‘Robert’, ‘Aurore’, ‘Apple’, ‘White’, ‘Mornay’, ‘Ivory’ and ‘Reform’ are all examples of what?

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Q.  4:  What nationality was Winston Churchill’s mother?

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Q.  5:  What does the Russian word ‘Sputnik’ mean?

           a. Satellite    b. Little traveler    c. Star light

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Q.  6:  Brian Warner is the real name of which American singer?

           a) Kid Rock        b) Axl Rose         c) Marilyn Manson

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Q.  7:  The Simplon Rail Tunnel links Switzerland with which country?

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Q.  8:  In which animated Disney movies would one find the following characters? (One point for each correct answer)

           a) Pumba,     b) Si & Am,     c) Pongo,     d) Edna E. Mode

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Q.  9:  Which French philosopher is associated with the quote, “Cogito ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am)?

            a) Jean Paul Sarte         b) Rene Descartes         c) Blaise Pascal

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Q. 10:  ‘Blepharoplasty’  is cosmetic surgery on what part of the body?

            a) ears         b) upper arms         c) eyelids

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Q. 11:  It’s the stage name of WWF wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson and the name of a movie starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, what is it?

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Q. 12:  Which baseball star married Marilyn Monroe in 1954?

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Q. 13:  The herb ‘coriander’ belongs to which family of vegetable?

            a) carrot         b) beetroot         c) cabbage

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Q. 14:  Excluding television, radio and ‘unofficial’ versions, six actors have played the role of James Bond, name them. (A point for each and a bonus point if you get them in the correct chronological order.)

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Q. 15:  The Earth’s position in the solar system gave the inspiration for what television series?

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Q. 16:  What kind of Christmas present is ‘oil of Lebanon’?

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Q. 17:  Who did Omar Sharif play in a famous movie set in the USSR?

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Q. 18:  Everybody knows that the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse was ‘Silver’, but what was the name of his sidekick Tonto’s horse?

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Q. 19:  The name of which European country ‘apparently’ stems from a Carthaginian word meaning ‘Land of the rabbits’?

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Q. 20:  In which movie series are dilithium crystals used for fuel?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  What name links the standard infantry rifle of the US Army from 1873 to 1936 and the animated television series ‘The Simpsons’?

A.  1:  Springfield.

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Q.  2:  ‘Backrub’ was the original name for what well known company?

A.  2:  Google.

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Q.  3:  ‘Robert’, ‘Aurore’, ‘Apple’, ‘White’, ‘Mornay’, ‘Ivory’ and ‘Reform’ are all examples of what?

A.  3:  Sauces.

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Q.  4:  What nationality was Winston Churchill’s mother?

A.  4:  American, Winston Churchill’s mother was born in Brooklyn.

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Q.  5:  What does the Russian word ‘Sputnik’ mean?

            a. Satellite    b. Little traveler    c. Star light

A.  5:  a. Satellite.

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Q.  6:  Brian Warner is the real name of which American singer?

           a) Kid Rock        b) Axl Rose         c) Marilyn Manson

A.  6:  c) Marilyn Manson.

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Q.  7:  The Simplon Rail Tunnel links Switzerland with which country?

A.  7:  Italy.

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Q.  8:  In which animated Disney movies would one find the following characters? (One point for each correct answer)

           a) Pumba,     b) Si & Am,     c) Pongo,     d) Edna E. Mode

A.  8:  a) Pumba in The Lion King;   b) Si & Am in The Lady & the Tramp,

    c) Pongo in 101 Dalmations; and,   d) Edna E. Mode in The Incredibles

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Q.  9:  Which French philosopher is associated with the quote, “Cogito ergo sum” (I think, therefore I am)?

            a) Jean Paul Sarte         b) Rene Descartes         c) Blaise Pascal

A.  9:  b) Rene Descartes.

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Q. 10:  ‘Blepharoplasty’  is cosmetic surgery on what part of the body?

            a) ears         b) upper arms         c) eyelids

A. 10:  c) eyelids.

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Q. 11:  It’s the stage name of WWF wrestler-turned-actor Dwayne Johnson and the name of a movie starring Nicholas Cage and Sean Connery, what is it?

A. 11:  The Rock.

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Q. 12:  Which baseball star married Marilyn Monroe in 1954?

A. 12:  Joe DiMaggio.

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Q. 13:  The herb ‘coriander’ belongs to which family of vegetable?

            a) carrot         b) beetroot         c) cabbage

A. 13:  a) carrot.

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Q. 14:  Excluding television, radio and ‘unofficial’ versions, six actors have played the role of James Bond, name them. (A point for each and a bonus point if you get them in the correct chronological order.)

A. 14:  Sean Connery,  George Lazenby,  Roger Moore,  Timothy Dalton,  Pierce Brosnan  and  Daniel Craig.

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Q. 15:  The Earth’s position in the solar system gave the inspiration for what television series?

A. 15:  The very successful sitcom ‘3rd Rock from the Sun’.

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Q. 16:  What kind of Christmas present is ‘oil of Lebanon’?

A. 16:  Frankincense.

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Q. 17:  Who did Omar Sharif play in a famous movie set in the USSR?

A. 17:  Zhivago.

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Q. 18:  Everybody knows that the name of the Lone Ranger’s horse was ‘Silver’, but what was the name of his sidekick Tonto’s horse?

A. 18:  The answer I’m looking for here is ‘Scout’, although if you answered ‘White Feller’, the name of his first horse you also get a point – 2 points if you knew both!

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Q. 19:  The name of which European country ‘apparently’ stems from a Carthaginian word meaning ‘Land of the rabbits’?

A. 19:  Spain. (Ispania from ‘Sphan’ meaning rabbit).

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Q. 20:  In which movie series are dilithium crystals used for fuel?

A. 20:  The ‘Star Trek’ movie series.

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Absolute Power Does Corrupt – Always!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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You know, sometimes you just have to laugh at the stupidity and short-sightedness of politicians.

The latest idiot to hit the headlines is US House Representative Jim Sensenbrenner. You might remember him, he was the one who wrote the supposed anti-terror law now known as the Patriot Act.

Jim Sensenbrenner

Now he has asked the European Parliament for help in controlling the obviously completely out of control NSA who have decided this piece of ill thought out legislation gives them carte blanch permission to snoop into everybody’s business, friend and foe.

Apparently Congressman Sensenbrenner has belatedly seen the error of his ways and wants Europe to put pressure on the US to change its legislation to stop the spy agency’s mass communications data collecting activities.

Today Sensenbrenner says that the NSA has abused the trust placed in it by the American people. Powers that were designed to protect them, but powers that have been used to spy on them instead. And the Brits are at it too!

dink_cartoon_gchq_snoop_big

Big surprise Jim?

I think not!

Then there is the damage they have done to America’s standing throughout the world. The Merklegate scandal, where the German Chancellor’s cell phone was found to be bugged, is just one of many instances where America has treated its allies like enemies, creating suspicion and distrust where there used to be friendship and cooperation.

cartoon merkel

And the poor judgment continues, because Sensenbrenner’s solution to the problem he helped to create is not to get rid of this bad legislation, but instead to create even more bad legislation that purports to curtail the excesses of the former.

Won’t work Jimmy.

No point fitting a new lock on the stable door after the horse is already out and galloping roughshod over the privacy of the American people and their friends.

closing the stable door after the horse has bolted

All very well for Jim Sensenbrenner to say sorry now, but wasn’t it inevitable that the massive ill thought out powers handed to the spooks after 9-11 would be abused?

Absolute power does corrupt – always! That is why checks and balances are necessary, only they need to be put in place in time.

Obama-Franklin-security-privacy-quote

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