I. O. U. A. Vowel

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If you add a couple of consonants to one of those vowels you get PUN, which is rather convenient because today is pun day.

You know what’s next.

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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I really love my fanbase…

without it my fan would fall over.

fan with base

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When people ask me

what my best quality is,

I always tell them my second best

quality is being mysterious.

mysterious

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Communicating with Native Americans

… it’s easy when you know How.

Native Americans greeting

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I don’t care what people say,

I’m a terrible psychiatrist.

I don't care cartoon

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My friend was in a go kart race and

kept going even after all his wheels fell off.

It was a tireless effort

go kart race

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I got so excited in French lessons that

sometimes “oui” would come out

cartoon excited

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If you want to know how to see without glasses,

I’ve got some good contacts.

CONTACT-LENS-CASE-570

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To all you letters that

want to be before

p in the alphabet,

join the q.

Q

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Walk in fridges.

Pretty cool.

Walk-In-Fridge

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Everybody has an ego,

mine is just bigger and  better.

ego_by_einstein

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Trees can break wind

(and they’re not the only ones!)

tree windbreak

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Four thieves were robbing a music

store when the cops turned up.

The first grabbed all the pop CDs and ran off.

The second grabbed the rock CDs and also ran off.

The third grabbed the Jazz and followed suit.

The fourth was forced to take the rap.

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China Really Raises A Lot Of Red Flags…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Maybe that’s something China and puns have in common because they tend to raise a few red flags for some people too.

Not for us, though, because I know you are here for Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Two silkworms had a race

– it ended in a tie.

 two silk worms had a race

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If you attached a bunch of

watches together to make a belt

it would be a waist of time.

 belt made of watches

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I don’t really know maths too well.

Until recently I thought logarithms

were a brand of laxative.

 logarithms brand of laxative

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As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola,

I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror.

I think that says alot.

 mirror

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A fella in the bar asked me what it’s like to be married.

I said, “Amaze.”

He asked, “You mean amazing?”

I replied, “No, I mean it’s hard to get out of.”

 maze

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I’ve been assembling a condiment army.

It is now fully mustered.

 mustered mustard

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I was asked if I had any plans

for National Nudity Day…

I said “I’ve got nothing on”.

 National Nudity Day

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My little brother cut himself with

a razor shaving this morning.

“How Gillette that happen?” I asked.

 

cut himself with a razor shaving

 

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My dad was a man of few words.

We always beat him at Scrabble.

 Scrabble

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A friend once asked me,

“Do you think you could have an

eraser at both ends of a pencil?”

“I suppose you could,” I replied,

“but what would be the point?”

 eraser at both ends of a pencil

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A large area of the alphabet has been destroyed

in what is thought to have been a terrorist attack.

It’s not yet known who had anything to do with this atrocity.

But early reports indicate G had.

 flaming g

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My friends had a good laugh

at my expense last night.

I paid for them to go

and see a comedian.

 clipart comedian

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What’s the gayest type of question?

A query.       

 query

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My son asked me what

the opposite of a lie is.

It’s a true story.

 a true story

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Was just looking at the all time

top 10 movies list online.

I was surprised Seven wasn’t there.

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It’s Monday, It’s May 12th, And It’s Quiz Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Welcome to another fasab quiz.

Some difficult ones, some easy ones, and one or two that you should know but might not.

As usual if you get stuck you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please, NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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Quiz 5

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Q.  1:  Take a quarter, multiply it by a dime, divide that total by 2 bits and add 3 nickles, and what have you got?

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Q.  2:  Name the top three cork-producing countries in the world. (And take a point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  3:  You’ve seen it thousands of times, but why was the dollar symbol ($) designed this way?

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Q.  4:  What was the name of the physician who set the leg of Lincoln’s assassin John Wilkes Booth? (A point for his last name, a bonus if you know his first name as well.)

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Q.  5:  Where in North America is the largest water clock?

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Q.  6:  What is the only letter in the alphabet that has more than one syllable?

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Q.  7:  There are six words in the English language with the letter combination “uu.” Two of them you have probably heard of, the rest are more obscure, but you get a point for each one you can name correctly.

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Q.  8:  Who are the only three angels mentioned by name in the Bible? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q.  9:  What do you call the little hole in the sink that lets the water drain out, instead of flowing over the side?

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Q. 10:  Why has the Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, twice as many bathrooms as is necessary?

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Q. 11:  What are residents of the island of Crete called? (If you spell this wrong it will be very stupid.)

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Q. 12:  And, what are residents of the island of Lesbos called?

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Q. 13:  Who was the only American president to be wounded in the Civil War?

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Q. 14:  If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) what is the total?

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Q. 15:  Where were Venetian blinds invented?

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Q. 16:  What is the southern most city in the United States?

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Q. 17:  Everyone thinks that a ‘qwerty’ computer keyboard is just the same as a typewriter keyboard, but it isn’t. What is missing from the typewriter keyboard that is always on a computer keyboard?

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Q. 18:  Where do Panama hats come from?

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Q. 19:  How many ‘Die Hard’ movies have there been  –  so far? (Bonus points for each one you can name correctly. Double bonus if you know the years.)

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Q. 20:  What was the first video ever played on MTV Europe?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Take a quarter, multiply it by a dime, divide that total by 2 bits and add 3 nickles, and what have you got?

A.  1:  Answer = 25  (25 x 10) / (2 x 12.5) + (3 x 5)  =  25

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Q.  2:  Name the top three cork-producing countries in the world. (And take a point for each correct answer.)

A.  2:  The top three cork-producing countries are Spain, Portugal and Algeria.

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Q.  3:  You’ve seen it thousands of times, but why was the dollar symbol ($) designed this way?

A.  3:  The dollar symbol ($) is a U combined with an S (U.S.)

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Q.  4:  What was the name of the physician who set the leg of Lincoln’s assassin John Wilkes Booth? (A point for his last name, a bonus if you know his first name as well.)

A.  4:  Dr. Samuel A. Mudd was the physician who set the leg of Lincoln’s assassin John Wilkes Booth … and whose shame created the expression for ignominy, “His name is Mudd.”

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Q.  5:  Where in North America is the largest water clock?

A.  5:  The largest water clock in North America is at the shopping mall in Abbotsford, British Columbia, Canada.

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Q.  6:  What is the only letter in the alphabet that has more than one syllable?

A.  6:  ‘W’ is the only letter in the alphabet that has more than one syllable… it has three.

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Q.  7:  There are six words in the English language with the letter combination “uu.” Two of them you have probably heard of, the rest are more obscure, but you get a point for each one you can name correctly.

A.  7:  The six words in the English language with the letter combination “uu” are:                                         Muumuu, vacuum, continuum, duumvirate, duumvir and residuum.

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Q.  8:  Who are the only three angels mentioned by name in the Bible? (A point for each correct answer.)

A.  8:  The three angels mentioned by name in the Bible are Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer.

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Q.  9:  What do you call the little hole in the sink that lets the water drain out, instead of flowing over the side?

A.  9:  The little hole in the sink that lets the water drain out, instead of flowing over the side, is called a “porcelator”.

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Q. 10:  Why has the Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, twice as many bathrooms as is necessary?

A. 10:  The Pentagon, in Arlington, Virginia, has twice as many bathrooms as is necessary because when it was built in the 1940s, the state of Virginia still had segregation laws requiring separate toilet facilities for blacks and whites.

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Q. 11:  What are residents of the island of Crete called? (If you spell this wrong it will be very stupid.)

A. 11:  They are called Cretans. (Deduct a point if you said Cretins!)

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Q. 12:  And, what are residents of the island of Lesbos called?

A. 12:  Residents of the island of Lesbos are Lesbosians, rather than Lesbians. (Of course, lesbians are called lesbians because Sappho was from Lesbos.)

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Q. 13:  Who was the only American president to be wounded in the Civil War?

A. 13:  Rutherford B. Hayes was the only president to be wounded in the Civil War — not once, but four times. Four horses were shot out from beneath him.

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Q. 14:  If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) what is the total?

A. 14:  If you add up the numbers 1-100 consecutively (1+2+3+4+5 etc) the total is 5050.

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Q. 15:  Where were Venetian blinds invented?

A. 15:  You’d think it should be Venice, but Venetian blinds were invented in Japan.

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Q. 16:  What is the southern most city in the United States?

A. 16:  The southern most city in the United States is Na’alehu, Hawaii.

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Q. 17:  Everyone thinks that a ‘qwerty’ computer keyboard is just the same as a typewriter keyboard, but it isn’t. What is missing from the typewriter keyboard that is always on a computer keyboard?

A. 17:  The back slash is missing. Before the age of computers, typewriters only had one type of slash, the forward slash (/). Even earlier versions hadn’t even got that! Bet you never even noticed.

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Q. 18:  Where do Panama hats come from?

A. 18:  Panama hats are made in Equador.

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Q. 19:  How many ‘Die Hard’ movies have there been  –  so far? (Bonus points for each one you can name correctly. Double bonus if you know the years.)

A. 19:  There have been five ‘Die Hard’ movies so far, ‘Die Hard’ (1988), ‘Die Hard 2’ (1990), ‘Die Hard with a Vengeance’ (1995), ‘Live Free or Die Hard’ (2007) and ‘A Good Day to Die Hard’ (2013).

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Q. 20:  What was the first video ever played on MTV Europe?

A. 20:  The first video ever played on MTV Europe was “Money For Nothing” by Dire Straits.

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A Day Not Sober Is Often A Day Wasted!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A day not sober is often a day wasted and a week without a pun day just isn’t worth thinking about.

So here you are, another short selection of the jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I always have a great laugh when I’m mountain climbing.

I find them hilly areas.

hilly areas

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The worst job I ever had was working in

a factory making cowboy records.

Howdy pressing.

howdy

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Say what you like about iPhones, but you can’t

speak I’ll about their clever autocorrect feature.

autocorrect dad-mom-out

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I spent all morning walking around in the wife’s panties.

She’s a big woman.

big-mamas-undies

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Had to fire my tailor.

It was nothing personal,

he just didn’t seam right.

suits-that-fit-bad-too-big-too-smal1

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My friend told me he was going to

a fancy dress party as an Italian island.

I said to him “Don’t be Sicily!”

sicily_malta_map

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I went to the Job Centre and all they

offered me was a job making beds.

I turned them down.

turndown

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My friend Dave asked me if I wanted him to

recite the first twenty one letters of the alphabet to me.

“It’s up to U” I replied.

up2u

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I used to have more money than sense,

Nowadays I’m broke AND stupid.

22-carat-gold-toilet-paper-for-the-rich-and-stupid-from-the-toilet-paper-man-in-australia-theflyingtortoise

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At last night’s pub quiz, a question came up:

“What is another name for a grey goose?”

I just couldn’t think of the Anser.

anser_erythropus

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My neighbor asked me what I thought of her kids.

I said, “They should go far.”

Brimming with pride, she said “Really?”

“Yes,” I said, “And the sooner they start, the better.”

bad kids

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Two removal men got into an argument.

They took it outside.

cartoon-removal-men

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Been using this blog to try my hand at writing.

So far, it’s being a lot more successful than my foot.

writing

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I have decided to start a company where all the money

made will buy bread for Indian children’s curries.

It will be a naan profit organization.

naan

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When I was a teenager my mum always used to say

that my room was so messy I’d never

get any ‘self respecting girl’ to go in there.

Luckily those weren’t the girls I was after.

drunk-girl

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What’s Ice? – Skid Stuff!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It will all be over by this time next week, so today has to be the day for a special Christmas helping of seasonal puns.

Get your groans ready – you’re really going to need them this time!

Enjoy.

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rofl

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What did Adam say the day before Christmas?

It’s Christmas, Eve!

Dancing-Santa-Reindeer-Funny-Christmas-GIF

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What is the difference between the Christmas alphabet and the regular alphabet?

The Christmas alphabet has no L.

christmas_animated_gifs_14

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What does Tarzan sing at Christmas time?

Jungle Bells, Jungle bells.

26

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What do you call people who are afraid of Santa Claus?

Claustrophobic.

christmas_animated_gifs_16

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What did the bald man say when he got a comb for Christmas?

Thanks, I’ll never part with it!

christmas-gift-box13

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How do sheep in Spain say Merry Christmas?

Fleece Navidad!

Merry Christmas Gif 17

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What’s the best present for a train conductor?

Platform shoes.

Christmas train

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What is a parent’s favorite Christmas carol?

Silent Night.

carolers

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Before it starts to sell its Christmas trees

the garden center gets really spruced up!

christmas_animated_gifs_reindeer

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Why does Scrooge love Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer?

Because every buck is dear to him.

christmas_animated_gif_41

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What nationality is Santa Claus?

North Polish

dancingsanta_e0

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Why was Santa’s little helper depressed?

Because he had low elf esteem.

christmas-animated-elf

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What Santa had a motorbike instead of a sleigh, what kind would it be?

A Holly Davidson of course!

Holly D Santa biker

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If Santa and Mrs. Claus had a baby, what would he be?

A subordinate Claus.

santa-animated-elf-1

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“Why don’t we ever hear about ‘Olive,’ the 10th reindeer?” asked Bert.

“What 10th Reindeer?” asked Scott.

“You know. Olive, the other reindeer, used to laugh and call him names.”

Santa_and_Reindeer

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What does a reindeer do when he has an upset stomach?

He takes an elk-a-seltzer.

xmas-bird3

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What do you call an ELF who sings?

A Wrapper!

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Controversial Post? – Should We Get Rid Of Homos?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Some blogs meander along trying to be very politically correct. But not here at fasab. Controversial or not, the philosophy here is to tell it as it is.

So to repeat the question in the title…. 

Should we get rid of homos?

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Of course, I’m talking about homographs and homophones – I don’t know what YOU were thinking of?

If you are a regular visitor to this blog you will know that quite often we have a look at amusing misprints or mistakes on signs, classified ads, newspaper headlines, or wherever else they can be found.

Nearly always the problem is peoples’ failure to grasp the intricacies of the English language.

If you are born and bred in an English speaking country then it is relatively easy to grasp the basics of the language, although there is a steady deterioration in some of these, like speleling for example. (That was a deliberate mistake for comic affect by the way.)

So what about the homos then?

For those who haven’t made up their mind yet, a homograph – (also known as a heteronym, but where would have been the fun in that title?) – is a word of the same written form as another but of different meaning and usually different origin.

Sometimes it is pronounced the same as the other word, in which case it is known as a homograph.

homograph definition

Sometimes they are pronounced differently, in which case they are called homophones.

homophone definition

An example of the former is the word “letter” which is pronounced the same whether the meaning is a message written to someone, or to describe a particular member of the alphabet such as ‘A’, ‘B’, ‘C’, etc.

An example of the latter could be the word “lead” which is pronounced differently if it means a metal (“the lead was very heavy”), or to be the front runner of a group of people (“he was in the lead”).

There are a lot more homos around than you might at first think. Here are just a few examples I saw recently. I hope you find them interesting and maybe even begin to realize what a nightmare learning the English language must be for those not immersed in it from a very young age.

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1) The bandage was “wound” around the “wound”.

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2) The farm was used to “produce” “produce”.

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3) The dump was so full that it had to “refuse” more “refuse”.

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4) We must “polish” the “Polish” furniture.

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5) He could “lead” if he would get the “lead” out.

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6) The soldier decided to “desert”  his “dessert” in the “desert”.

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7) Since there is no time like the “present”, he thought it was time to “present” the “present”.

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8) A “bass” was painted on the head of the “bass” drum.

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9) When shot at the “dove”  “dove” into the bushes.

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10) I did not “object” to the “object”.

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11) The insurance was “invalid” for the “invalid”.

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12) There was a “row” among the oarsmen about how to “row”.

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13) They were too “close” to the door to “close” it.

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14) The buck “does” funny things when the “does” are present.

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15) A seamstress and a “sewer” fell down into a “sewer” line.

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16) The farmer used a “sow” to help him “sow” the crop.

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17) The “wind” was too strong to “wind” the sail.

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18) Upon seeing the “tear” in the painting I shed a “tear”.

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19) I had to “subject” the “subject” to a series of tests.

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20) How can I “intimate” this to my most “intimate” friend?

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Let’s face it – English is a crazy language. 

For example, there are no “eggs” in “eggplant”, nor “ham” in “hamburger”.  

There is neither “pine” nor “apple” in “pineapple”.

“English” muffins weren’t invented in “England” nor “French” fries in “France”.

“Sweetmeats” are “sweet” but are candies and not “meats”, whereas “sweetbreads” are neither “sweet” nor “bread”, but in fact meat.

Boxing “rings” are “square” and a “guinea pig” is neither from “Guinea” nor is it a “pig”.

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And why is it that “writers” “write”, but “fingers” don’t “fing”, “grocers” don’t “groce” and “hammers” don’t “ham”?

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If the plural of “tooth” is “teeth”, why isn’t the plural of “booth”, “beeth”? Why one “index”, but two or more “indices”?  Or why do you have one “goose” and two “geese”, and one “moose” but never two “meese”?

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You can make “amends” but what do you do if you have just one thing to amend? Or if you have a bunch of “odds and ends” and get rid of all but one of them, what do you call what’s left?

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If teachers “taught”, why didn’t preachers “praught”?

And if a “vegetarian” eats vegetables, what does a “humanitarian” eat?

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In what other language would people “recite at a play” and “play at a recital”; have “noses” that “run” and “feet” that “smell”; or send a “shipment” by “car” and “cargo” by “ship”?

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How can a “slim chance” and a “fat chance” be the same, while a “wise man” and a “wise guy” are opposites?

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Or why can people like the Amish “raise” a barn, meaning to “erect” a building, whereas everywhere else when we “raise” a building to the ground we mean we “demolish” it?

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You have to marvel at the unique lunacy of a language in which your house can burn “up” as it burns “down”; in which you “fill in” a form by “filling it out”; and in which an alarm goes “off” by going “on”.

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Even when you are standing still you can be part of the human “race” and you can look at the stars which are visible when they are “out”, unlike a light which is invisible when it is “out”.

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Finally, there is a two-letter word that perhaps has more meanings than any other two-letter word, and that is “UP”.

It’s easy to understand “UP”, meaning toward the sky or at the top of the list, but when we awaken in the morning, why do we “wake UP”? At a meeting, why does a topic “come UP”? Why do we “speak UP”?

Or do what I am going to do now, which is to “shut UP”.

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Significant Number Factoid Friday – Today Number Eleven 11

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The number for today’s Friday Factoid is eleven. If this is your lucky number, date of birth or if you are just interested in random facts, now is your chance to find out some things you probably didn’t know about the number eleven.

Enjoy!

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The Number Eleven 11

11

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In religion

  • The word “apple” is cited 11 times in the Bible, all in the Old Testament.
  • Moses was instructed to make curtains of goats’ hair to be a covering upon the tabernacle: “eleven curtains shalt thou make.” ( Exodus 26.7)
  • 11 apostles remained with Jesus after the treason and suicide of Apostle Judas:
  • After Judas Iscariot was disgraced, the remaining apostles of Jesus were sometimes described as “the Eleven”; this occurred even after Matthias was added to bring the number to 12, as in Acts 2:14.
  • Jesus’ parable of the vineyard laborers: And about the eleventh hour he went out, and found others standing idle, and says unto them, Why stand you here all the day idle? (Matthew 20.6)
  • 11th Book of Enoch describes the Messianic Kingdom. 
  • 11th Station of the Cross: Crucifixion of Jesus (14 Stations of the Cross, Via Dolorosa)
  • 11 is a spiritually significant number in Thelema.

 

 

In mathematics

  • If a number is divisible by 11, reversing its digits will result in another multiple of 11.
  • As long as no two adjacent digits of a number added together exceed 9, then multiplying the number by 11, reversing the digits of the product, and dividing that new number by 11, will yield a number that is the reverse of the original number. (For example: 142,312 x 11 = 1,565,432. 2,345,651 / 11 = 213,241.)
  • An 11-sided polygon is called a hendecagon or undecagon.

 hendecagon 11 sides

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In computing

  • In Mozilla Firefox, Opera, Konqueror for KDE, Google Chrome and Internet Explorer for Windows, the function key F11 key toggles full screen viewing mode. In Mac OS X, F11 hides all open windows.
  • The windowing system for Unix computers is known as X11.
  • Computers of the PDP-11 series from Digital Equipment Corporation were informally referred to as “elevens”.

 

cpu room with DEC PDP-11
cpu room with DEC PDP-11

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In science

  • 11 is the atomic number of sodium.
  • 11 is the Atomic Weight of Boron, a black and semi-metallic element, chemically closer to silicon than to aluminium.
  • In modern string theory physics, 11 dimensions are proposed to exist in the universe.

 modern string theory physics

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In space

  • Apollo 11 was the first manned spacecraft to land on the Moon.

Apollo 11 insignia

  • The approximate periodicity of a sunspot cycle is 11 years.
  • Messier object M11, a magnitude 7.0 open cluster in the constellation Scutum, also known as the Wild Duck Cluster.
Messier object M11 - Wild Duck Cluster
Messier object M11 – Wild Duck Cluster
  • The New General Catalogue object NGC 11, a spiral galaxy in the constellation Andromeda
  • The 11th moon of Jupiter is Himalia.

 

himalia, the 11th Moon of Jupiter
Himalia, the 11th Moon of Jupiter

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In politics

  • 11th State to enter the Union is New York (July 26, 1788)
  • The 11th President of the United States is James Polk (1795-1849) who served (1845-1849).
James Polk 11th President of the United States of America
James Polk 11th President of the United States of America
  • Polk was on the 11¢ stamp issued on September 8, 1938 in the Presidential Series.
  • 11¢ stamps of the United States have also featured Presidents, Benjamin Franklin (issued Aug. 9, 1915) and Rutherford B. Hayes (issued Oct. 4, 1922)

 

11 cent stamps, Franklin, Polk, Hayes
11 cent stamps, Franklin, Polk, Hayes

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In Canada

  • The stylized maple leaf on the Flag of Canada has 11 points.

Flag of Canada

  • The Canadian one-dollar coin is a hendecagon, an 11-sided polygon.
Canadian one-dollar coin
Canadian one-dollar coin
  • Clocks depicted on Canadian currency, for example the Canadian fifty-dollar bill, show 11:00.
Canadian fifty-dollar bill
Canadian fifty-dollar bill showing clock
  • Eleven denominations of Canadian currency are produced in large quantities.
  • Due to Canada’s federal nature, eleven legally distinct Crowns effectively exist in the country, with the Monarch being represented separately in each province, as well as at the federal level.

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In sport

  • There are 11 players on a soccer team on the field at a time as well as in a cricket team.
  • Also in soccer, a penalty kick is referred to as “Elfmeter” because the penalty spot is approximately 11m (precisely 12 yards) from the goal line.
  • Historically, in the Pyramid formation that position names are taken from, a left wing-forward in football wears number 11. In the modern game, especially using the 4-4-2 formation, it is worn by a left-sided midfielder. Less commonly a striker will wear the shirt.
  • There are 11 players in a field hockey team. The player wearing 11 will usually play on the left-hand side, as in soccer.
  • An American football team also has 11 players on the field at one time during play. 11 is also worn by quarterbacks, kickers, punter and wide receivers in American football’s NFL.
  • In rugby union, the starting left wing wears the 11 shirt.
  • In cricket, the 11th batsman is usually the weakest batsman, at the end of the tail. He is primarily in the team for his bowling abilities.
  • The jersey number 11 has been retired by several North American sports teams in honor of past playing greats or other key figures:
  • In Major League Baseball: the Chicago White Sox, for Hall of Famer Luis Aparicio ( 2010 and 2011, Aparicio allowed fellow Venezuelan Omar Vizquel to wear the number); the Cincinnati Reds, for Hall of Famer Barry Larkin; the Detroit Tigers, for Hall of Fame manager Sparky Anderson; the Los Angeles Angels of Anaheim, for Jim Fregosi (who played for the team in its former incarnations as the Los Angeles Angels and California Angels, and also managed the California Angels); the Pittsburgh Pirates, for Hall of Famer Paul Waner; the San Francisco Giants, for Hall of Famer Carl Hubbell (honoring the number’s retirement when the team was known as the New York Giants); the Seattle Mariners have yet to retire any numbers, but have not issued #11 since the retirement of Edgar Martínez at the end of the 2004 season.
Baseball Hall of Fame Cincinnati Reds
Baseball Hall of Fame Cincinnati Reds
  • In the NBA: the Detroit Pistons, for Hall of Famer Isiah Thomas; the Sacramento Kings, for Hall of Famer Bob Davies (honoring the number’s retirement when the team was known as the Rochester Royals); the Washington Wizards, for Hall of Famer Elvin Hayes (who played for the team in its past incarnations as the Baltimore, Capital, and Washington Bullets);
Elvin Hayes
Elvin Hayes
  • In the NFL: the New York Giants, for Phil Simms.
  • In the NHL: the Buffalo Sabres, for Hall of Famer Gilbert Perreault; the Edmonton Oilers and New York Rangers, for Hall of Famer Mark Messier; the St. Louis Blues, for Brian Sutter; the Washington Capitals, for Hall of Famer Mike Gartner.

 

Oilers and New York Rangers, for Hall of Famer Mark Messier
Oilers and New York Rangers, for Hall of Famer Mark Messier

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In militaria

  • World War I ended with an Armistice on November 11, 1918, which went into effect at 11:00 am, the 11th hour on the 11th day of the 11th month of the year. Armistice Day is still observed on November 11 of each year, although it is now called Veterans Day in the United States and Remembrance Day in the Commonwealth of Nations and parts of Europe.

Armistice Day

  • 11 is the number of guns in a gun salute to U.S. Army, Air Force and Marine Corps Brigadier Generals, and to Navy and Coast Guard Rear Admirals Lower Half.
  • 11 is the number of General Orders for Sentries in the Marine Corps and United States Navy.

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  • USN F11F Tiger
  • The Grumman F11F/F-11 Tiger was a single-seat carrier-based United States Navy fighter aircraft in operation during the 1950s and 1960s. Originally designated the F11F Tiger in April 1955 under the pre-1962 Navy designation system, it was redesignated as F-11 Tiger under the 1962 United States Tri-Service aircraft designation system.
  • The F11F/F-11 was used by the Blue Angels flight team from 1957 to 1969. Grumman Aircraft Corporation made about 200 Tigers, with last delivered 23 January 1
The Grumman F11F/F-11 Tiger
The Grumman F11F/F-11 Tiger

 

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  • J-11 Chinese Light Fighter Aircraft
  • The J-11 designation was originally applied in the design Shenyang Aircraft Factory in response to a 1968 requirement for a replacement PLAAF J-6 (MiG-19 Farmer). Shenyang’s proposal was triggered by a British Spey 512 afterburning turbofan engine and followed a conventional light fighter design, with wings swept back and side of the fuselage assembly entries.
  • The J-11 was a sophisticated design for its time, but the British Spey-512 engines proved “difficult” for Communist China to obtain at that time. Shenyang factory was ordered to concentrate their energies in the J-8, and J-11 never went beyond the planning stage.

 

J-11 Chinese Light Fighter Aircraft
J-11 Chinese Light Fighter Aircraft

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  • The B-11 Gun
  • The B-11 gun is designed by the Design Bureau under guidance of B.I. Shavyrin. Its barrel consists of a smooth-bore tube, chamber, breech and breech mechanism. It is fixed on a tripod mount consisting of frame and boom. In firing position, the gun rests on the tripod mount and the wheels are elevated above ground level. The gun is transported by means of a prime-mover.
  • The gun can be transported in a truck body together with crew and ammo load. The gun can be also dropped by parachute.

 

BZO (Recoillessgun) B-11

  • Colt 1911
  • Designed by John Browning, the M1911 Colt is arguably the most well known pistol in the world. It is a single-action, semi-automatic, magazine-fed, recoil-operated handgun chambered for the .45 ACP cartridge. It  served as the standard-issue side arm for the United States armed forces from 1911 to 1985 and was widely used in World War I, World War II, the Korean War, and the Vietnam War.
  • The M1911 is still carried by some U.S. forces. Its formal designation as of 1940 was Automatic Pistol, Caliber .45, M1911 for the original Model of 1911 or Automatic Pistol, Caliber .45, M1911A1 for the M1911A1, adopted in 1924.
  • In total, the United States procured around 2.7 million M1911 and M1911A1 pistols in military contracts during its service life. The M1911 was replaced by the M9 pistol as the standard U.S. sidearm in the early 1990s, but due to its popularity among users, it has not been completely phased out. Modern M1911 variants are still in use by some units within the U.S. Navy and U.S. Marine Corps.
  • Many military and law enforcement organizations in the United States and other countries continue to use (often modified) M1911A1 pistols including Marine Corps Special Operations Command, Los Angeles Police Department S.W.A.T. and L.A.P.D. S.I.S., the FBI Hostage Rescue Team, F.B.I. regional S.W.A.T. teams, and 1st Special Forces Operational Detachment—Delta (Delta Force). The Tacoma, Washington Police Department selected the Kimber Pro Carry II or Pro Carry II HD as optional, department supplied weapons available to its officers
Colt 1911
Colt 1911

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  • Sig Sauer M11-A1
  • Two of the most watched shows on television are NCIS and NCIS: Los Angeles. The 2nd spinoff show, NCIS: LA features covert NCIS agents based out of Los Angeles investigating things that have nothing to do with NCIS and regularly getting into gunfights and leaving bodies all over LA. And each week, they’re correctly depicted using the Sig Sauer M11, the standard issue pistol for NCIS, Army CID, and a number of other special units of the US military.
  • The Sig Sauer M11-A1 is a commercially available version of the military sidearm; upgrading the slide to stainless steel and adding Sig’s excellent Short Reset Trigger. The Sig M11-A1 comes standard with three 15-round magazines, and SigLite night sights.

 

Sig Sauer M11-A1
Sig Sauer M11-A1

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  • Smith & Wesson Model 11 .38 Pistol
  • The American Smith & Wesson .38 Model 11 Revolver was supplied to British Commonwealth countries 1950s – 1970s for Police use. A standard 6-shot hand ejector with 4” barrel, ‘Mod 11’ marking and flared chequered walnut grips.
Smith-and-Wesson-Model-11
Smith-and-Wesson-Model-11

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  • In music, movies and television
  • The interval of an octave and a fourth is an 11th.
  • A complete 11th chord has almost every note of a diatonic scale.
  • The number of thumb keys on a bassoon, not counting the whisper key. (A few bassoons have a 12th thumb key.)
  • In Igor Stravinsky’s The Rite of Spring, there are 11 consecutive repetitions of the same chord.
  • In Tool’s song Jimmy, and in Negativland’s song Time Zones the number 11 is heard numerous times in the lyrics.
  • “Eleven pipers piping” is the gift on the 11th day of Christmas in the carol “The Twelve Days of Christmas”
  • The Eleven is a song by The Grateful Dead.
  • Eleven Records is the record label of Jason Webley, and many of Webley’s works feature the number 11.
  • Three films, Ben-Hur (1959), Titanic (1997), and The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (2003), have each won 11 Academy Awards, including Best Picture of their respective years.
ben hur action shot
ben hur action shot
  • Ocean’s Eleven is the name of two American films.
  • The Eleventh Commandment is a feature length film by Allied Pictures Corp. (1933) adapted from the story The Pillory by Brandon Fleming.
  • The Eleventh Commandment (1962) is a science fiction novel by Lester del Rey (USA). In a heavily overpopulated future, the Roman Catholic Church continues to encourage people to be fruitful and multiply. But there is a scientific reason behind this apparent madness.
  • The number of incarnations of The Doctor in BBC sci-fi series Doctor Who is 11, as of 2012. (William Hartnell; Patrick Troughton; Jon Pertwee; Tom Baker; Peter Davison; Colin Baker; Sylvester McCoy; Paul McGann; Christopher Eccleston; David Tennant and Matt Smith)
The 11 actors who have played 'The Doctor'
The 11 actors who have played ‘The Doctor’

 

 

 

Other stuff

  • Cities located at 11o longitude: Munich, Germany; Monrovia, Liberia
  • Cities located at 11o latitude: Phnom Penh, Cambodia; Baranquilla, Colombia
  • The eleventh hour means the last possible moment to take care of something, and often implies a situation of urgent danger or emergency (see Doomsday clock).
  • 11 days were lost when the British imposed the Gregorian calendar in 1752, decreeing that the day following September 2 be called September 14.
  • “Elevenses” is a tea or coffee taken at midmorning and often accompanied by a snack (British custom).
  • The number 11 bus is a low-cost way of sightseeing in London
  • In the game of blackjack, an Ace can be counted as either one or 11, whichever is more advantageous for the player.

BlackJack

  • 11 is the number of the French department Aude.
  • 11 is the channel assignment of GMA News TV in the Philippines (formerly ZOE-TV 11). Both owned by ZOE Broadcasting Network and GMA Network.
  • The Roman numeral for 11 is XI.
  • Steel wedding anniversary celebrates 11 years of marriage.
  • K is the 11th letter of the English alphabet .
  • Kaph is the 11th letter of the Hebrew alphabet, and means “grasping hand”, with a numeric value of 20.
  • Lambda is the 11th letter of the Greek alphabet, meaning service, with numeric value of 30
  • In Astrology, Aquarius is the 11th astrological sign of the Zodiac.
  • The dog is the 11th sign of the Chinese Animal Zodiac based on the lunar year. Dog-year people are honest, intelligent, and straightforward, with a deep sense of loyalty and justice. The previous dog year was Feb. 10, 1994 to Jan. 30, 1995. The next lunar dog year is Jan. 29, 2006 to Feb. 17, 2007. People born in the dog year include Voltaire, Winston Churchill, Mother Teresa, Chou En-lai, Sophia Loren, Elvis Presley, and Bill Clinton.
  • The Cologne coat of arms depicts the two-headed Imperial eagle holding sword and sceptre. The escutcheon (shield) shows three crowns (relics of the Three Magi kept in the Cologne Cathedral). The 11 black flames stand for the Patron Saint Ursula protecting the 11,000 virgins. Hans Memling (1440-1494) painted “Saint Ursula and the Holy Virgins” (1489) on wood at Saint Ursula Shrine in Bruges. Memling reduced the 11,000 virgins to a more manageable 11.  
  • German Rhineland carnival season begins on 11.11 at 11:11 A.M. in Cologne.

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9 / 11

  • The twin towers of the World Trade Center in New York City looked like the number 11.
  • It was 110 stories tall, rising 1353 feet and was the tallest building in the world, until surpassed by Chicago’s Sears Tower (1450 feet).
  • WTC was built in 1966-1977 by Minoru Yamasaki.

World-Trade-Center

  • American Airlines Flight 11 was a passenger flight which was hijacked by five al-Qaeda terrorists on September 11, 2001, as part of the September 11 attacks. They deliberately crashed it into the North Tower of the World Trade Center in New York City, killing all 87 people aboard plus the hijackers, and an unconfirmed number in the building’s impact zone. The aircraft involved, a Boeing 767-223ER, was flying American Airlines’ daily scheduled morning transcontinental service from Logan International Airport, in Boston, Massachusetts, to Los Angeles International Airport, in Los Angeles, California.
  • The second aircraft, a United Airlines Flight 175, a Boeing 767–222, scheduled to fly from Logan International Airport, in Boston, Massachusetts, to Los Angeles International Airport, in Los Angeles, California, hit the South Tower at 09.03.

The Day That Changed America

9-11 world trade center second airplane

  • After the World Trade Center was demolished by terrorist attack on 9/11/2001, ceremonies were held on subsequent 9/11 dates near the site showing “Tribute in Light”— twin beams of light that resemble the number 11 projected to the sky.      

 world-trade-center-lights

 

 

 

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Wouldn’t You Like To Know The Answers To Some Of These Questions?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

..

It’s Tuesday and time for a few more of those questions that we would like to know the answers to had we had the presence of mind to ask them in the first place. 

The last one is my favorite.

Enjoy.

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Is there not a better name for the third hand on the watch than calling it the second hand?

clock face animation

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If you are asked to tell the truth, the whole truth and nothing but the truth and your the main witness, what if you say “no”?

witness swearing an oath to tell the truth in court

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How does a Real Estate company sell its office without causing confusion?

for sale sign

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Why is it that rain drops but snow falls?

why does rain drop and snow fall

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Is it rude for a deaf person to talk (sign) with their mouth full of food?

sign language

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Why isn’t there a special name for the tops of your feet?

cartoon feet drawing

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If milk goes bad if not refrigerated, does it go bad if the cow isn’t refrigerated?

cartoon cow

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Why is a boxing ring square?

boxing ring

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When it rains, why don’t sheep shrink?

confused sheep

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Why do they report power outages on TV?

power outage

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Why do we put suits in a garment bag and put garments in a suitcase?

cartoon suitcase

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Do Chinese people get English sayings tattooed on their bodies?

Chinese name tattoo

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Do glow-in-the-dark objects stop glowing when somebody turns the lights on?

Glow in the dark objects

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Why do they call them apartments when they are all stuck together?

cartoon apartments

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Why is it so hard to remember how to spell MNEMONIC?

mnemonic

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If you keep trying to prove Murphy’s Law, will something keep going wrong?

Murphy's Law

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How do you throw away a garbage can?

garbage can

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Why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic ?

why are there five syllables in the word monosyllabic?

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Is it possible to be totally partial?

totally partial.

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Who decided what order to put the alphabet in?

order of the alphabet

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======================

Significant Number Factoid Friday – Thirteen, Unlucky For Some

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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They’ve been ‘beautiful’,  they’ve been ‘big’  and they’ve been ‘unusual’

Today we have ‘significant’ number thirteen, unlucky for some.

Enjoy.

 

13 Thirteen

The number 13 seems to give a lot of people trouble. Indeed the fear of the number 13 is so pervasive that it even has a phobia named after it  –  triskaidekaphobia. 

 

In the Bible.

  • At the Last Supper in Christian theology, there were 13 dinner guests, so that number is unlucky because Christ was betrayed.
  • Thirteen famines are recorded in the Scriptures.
  • The destruction of Jericho is stamped with the number thirteen, because the city was compassed once each day for six days, and seven times on the seventh day, making 13 times in all (6+7).
  • All the names of Satan are divisible by thirteen.
  • In Mark 7 Jesus mentions thirteen things that defile a person (evil thoughts, adulteries, fornications, murders, thefts, covetousness, wickedness, deceit, lewdness, an evil eye, blasphemy, pride and foolishness).

 

Elsewhere,

  • The ancient Hebrews thought 13 was unlucky because the thirteenth letter of the Hebrew alphabet is the letter M, which is the first letter in the word “mavet,” meaning death.
  • In Norse mythology, 12 benevolent gods were gathering in a hall and the evil god Loki attacked the group. Loki was the 13th guest, and the god Balder was killed in the melee.
  • President Franklin D. Roosevelt was quite fearful of the number 13, and he took great pains to avoid hosting a meal for a group of that size. It is said that if he had a cancellation and it looked as if there might be 13 people to lunch, he would invite his secretary to join them so there wouldn’t be 13.
  • Industrialist Henry Ford wouldn’t do business on Friday, the 13th.
  • Multimillionaire Paul Getty once stated “I wouldn’t care to be one of thirteen at a table.”
  • Some speculate that a fear of the number 13 is the reason we recognize only 12 constellations in the Zodiac, omitting a thirteenth… Ophiuchus ( the Serpent Holder) that, by its location, could be included.
  • Years ago, London bakers were subject to harsh penalties if they were caught selling bread in what was called short weight. The bakers would add an extra loaf to each dozen to be sure the sale met the minimum weight requirement. They avoided the word thirteen and the process of adding an extra loaf became known as the “baker’s dozen.”
  • Some airlines do not have a 13th row.
  • Most tall buildings do not have a 13th floor.
  • Many hotel guests refuse to stay in Room 13, so rooms are frequently numbered 12, 12A, and 14.
  • The 13th card of the Tarot is the card of Death.
  • The composer, Arnold Schoenberg, was a noted triskaidekaphobe. He died as he had predicted at the age of 76 (7+6=13), on a Friday 13th at 13 minutes to midnight.
  • In April 1970, NASA launched Apollo 13 at 1313 hours Central Time from pad 39. The flight was commanded by James A. Lovell with John L. “Jack” Swigert as Command Module pilot and Fred W. Haise as Lunar Module pilot. (Swigert was a late replacement for the original CM pilot Ken Mattingly, who was grounded by the flight surgeon after exposure to German measles.) They were scheduled for rest periods beginning 13 minutes past the hour and on April 13 at 21:07:53 CST (55:54:53 Ground Elapsed Time) an oxygen tank exploded and the mission had to be aborted. The rest is history – and a movie, Apollo 13, based on ‘Lost Moon’, Jim Lovell’s and Jeffrey Kluger’s book about the event.
Apollo 13 insignia
Insignia of the ill-fated Apollo XIII Mission

 

Friday the 13th Myths:

  • If you cut your hair on Friday the 13th, someone in your family will die.
  • A child born on Friday the 13th will be unlucky for life.
  • If a funeral procession passes you on Friday the 13th, you will be the next to die.

 

In the United States

  • the Thirteenth Amendment to the Constitution officially outlaws slavery and involuntary servitude, except as punishment for a crime.
  • thirteen colonies rebelled against British Rule and King George III in what led to the American Revolutionary War and the eventual birth of the United States of America. The colonies were Delaware, Pennsylvania, New Jersey, Georgia, Connecticut, Massachusetts Bay, Maryland, South Carolina, New Hampshire, Virginia, New York, North Carolina, and Rhode Island and Providence Plantations.
  • there are thirteen stripes on the USA flag to commemorate these original colonies.
USA flag - Stars and Stripes
USA flag – Stars and Stripes

 

 

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