None. That’s Ninguno, Aucun, Keiner, Zero!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Farnborough Airc Show 2014 logo

In the summer in Farnborough in Hampshire, England one of the biggest events in the aviation industry takes place. It’s call the Farnborough Air Show.

I remember when I used to work in that industry helping to prepare invitations, information packs, and all the usual PR stuff. Farnborough is THE place to meet and greet both those who buy aircraft and those firms like Boeing and AIrbus who build them and provide tens of thousands of jobs for smaller companies.

So it is an important event.

At this year’s show they named the world’s best airline, in fact they named the top ten best airlines.

And despite the United States building some of the best airplanes in the world, and despite the United States having some of the world’s largest and busiest airlines, do you know how many United States airlines made it into the top ten?

The title of this post probably gave it away. The answer is….

None. That’s ninguno, aucun, keiner, zero!

Even the regional category for North America was won by Air Canada.

cartoon intrusive airport searches

Apparently, not only are air travelers in America to be treated as potential terrorists, herded and prodded and scanned and humiliated when they are trying to get on to an airplane. But when they do, the comfort and service they can expect will be second rate.

I think that’s a disgrace. America should be leading the world in the standard of their airlines. They should be at least one, if not more, of the top ten list every year offering a consistently high standard that their customers (that’s you and me) deserve.

And this award is decided by the votes of millions of travelers, so customers’ opinions do count.

So time for United States airlines to ditch those bureaucratic bean counters who decide that they can squeeze just another row of seats into an airplane so that everyone is uncomfortable. In the long term this kind of thinking doesn’t save you money, it loses you money. And when your customers vote for the best airline, they don’t vote for you!

For those of you who are interested, this year’s best airline was the Hong Kong based Cathay Pacific. They were voted best performer across all types of travel, economy, and luxury.

Cathay Pacific World's Best Airline 2014
Cathay Pacific World’s Best Airline 2014

Qatar Airways and Singapore Airlines placed second and third respectively in the global category, with last year’s winner, Emirates, slipping to fourth. Fifth to tenth places went to Turkish Airlines, ANA All Nippon Airways, Garuda Indonesia, Asiana Airlines, Etihad Airways and Lufthansa respectively.

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Did You Know? – It’s Fact Finding Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, another fact finding day here at the fasab blog.

Hope you find something of interest in this random selection.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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There are two credit cards for

every person in the United States.

credit cards

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There are more confirmed deaths from

drowning in molasses than from coyote attacks.

(21 people died in the 1919 Boston Molasses Disaster.

Only 2 fatal coyote-on-human attacks have been confirmed)

1919 Boston Molasses Disaster

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A full head of human hair is

strong enough to support 12 tons.

bald

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The deepest natural cave is the Krubera Cave, in Georgia;

it is the only known cave on Earth that is deeper than 2,000 meters.

the Krubera Cave

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The deepest man made point is the TauTona Mine in Southern Africa

which at its deepest point is nearly 4,000 meters

beneath the surface of the Earth.

TauTona

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Emus cannot walk backwards.

emu

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Herbert Hoover’s son had two pet alligators,

which were occasionally permitted to

run loose throughout the White House.

herbert-hoover

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Stalin hated his son Yakov so much

that when he failed to commit suicide by shooting himself

Stalin’s only comment was that

“He can’t even shoot straight.”

During the war Yakov was captured by the Nazis and

Stalin refused to trade any soldiers to bring him back.

yakov-stalin-son

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Both writer Edgar Allen Poe and LSD advocate

Timothy Leary were kicked out of West Point.

Edgar Allen Poe

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When a coffee seed is planted,

it takes five years to yield it’s first consumable fruit.

coffee plants

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If you had a long enough straw,

you could only suction water upwards the length of 10 meters.

After that water spontaneously boils

long straw

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There are only three animals with blue tongues,

the Black Bear, the Chow Chow dog

and the blue-tongued lizard.

Black Bear's tongue

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In 1973 the world’s most isolated tree

 – in the middle of the Sahara Desert –

was struck and killed by a drunk driver.

the world's most isolated tree

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Naugahyde, plastic “leather”

was created in Naugatuck, Connecticut.

naugahyde

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In every show that Tom Jones and

Harvey Schmidt (The Fantasticks) wrote,

there is at least one song about rain.

(Couldn’t find a decent link for that. This is better.)

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Clones Are People Two.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Great news today!

The September puns start here.

I know you will, but I’ll say it anyway.

Enjoy!

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My son broke his Apple computer today and

had the audacity to ask me to buy him a new one.

I just told him, “Apples don’t grow on trees you know!”

pun apple tree

 

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I didn’t hear the sea when I held a Shell up.

I did, however, get six years in jail

for armed robbery of a gas station.

pun shell gas station

 

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NBC have commissioned my new show about

what goes on inside an airplane cockpit.

We’re filming the pilot next week.

pun pilot

 

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A man walks into a library and says

“I hope you don’t have a book on reverse psychology.”

pun reverse-psychology1

 

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People used to tell me being blind would

hinder my chances of becoming a comedian.

Who’s laughing now?

pun blind-turkey-farmer

 

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My cheating ex-girlfriend was called Tulsa.

Looking back, she was aslut.

pun tulsa aslut

 

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My friend recently moved in with his girlfriend

and her massive magazine collection.

But when she refused to part with them he left her.

Apparently she had too many issues.

pun too many issues

 

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I’m not worried about the Third World War.

That’s the Third World’s Problem.

pun Third World

 

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I have got a bit of a reputation as a ladies man in my local bar.

All I can say is, they smell so much cleaner than the gents.

pun toilet-cologne-stadium

 

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Some guy broke into my house last night.

Thankfully the only thing he took was one of my bullets.

pun santa-burglar

 

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My father’s answer to everything was alcohol.

He didn’t drink, he was just bad at quizzes.

pun simpsonsgood46

 

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I recently went on a holiday to a place called Romania.

It was useless; no one was even rowing.

pun rowing

 

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A guy I know has invented a new hobby

called “blindfold plane watching”.

Can’t see it taking off.

pun blindfolded

 

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I was watching a DVD on my laptop when I thought,

“Maybe it would be better if I put it in.”

pun laptop-with-open-dvd-tray-and-usb-flash-drive

 

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My wife told me she was absolutely fed up with the world.

“Why?” I asked

“Arrogant people like you!” she screamed back.

I said “Yeah they do, don’t they?”

pun cocksure

 

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Someone has been pretending to be Mr T by using a similar name,

but no-one knows his real identity.

It’s a Mr E.

pun mr t

 

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I’m reading a book about the Titanic at the moment,

and the experts speculate that the designer of the Titanic had a lisp.

That’s unthinkable!

pun titanic

 

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I went to the shop and said, “I need a battery so I can tell the time.”

The man said, “Is it for a clock?”

I said, “How do I know, that’s why I asked you for a battery.”

pun cartoon for a clock

 

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I won $2 million on the lottery this weekend

so I decided to donate a quarter of it to charity.

Now I have $ 1,999,999.75.

pun united_states_quarter

 

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I’ll leave you with a word of warning.

pun beware

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I Don’t Know How They Do It But Every Week They Seem To Get Worse!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, I really don’t know how they do it, but every week they do seem to get worse. Where these answers come from or why shall always be a mystery, but they are fun and that’s what we like here, especially on a Monday!

You gotta start the week with a smile 🙂

Enjoy.

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Q: The perfect temperature for an autumn day   

A: 87   

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Q: An important city during colonial times          

A: Virginia

A: New England

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Q: Name something parents yell at their kids to finish    

A: “Get off that computer”

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Q: Name a movie people love to watch at Christmas      

A: Snow White 

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Q: Name a type of fruit found in tarts    

A: Sweet tarts

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Q: Name something you buy by the set 

A: Paper

Q: Name something you buy in a larger size if you have a large family    

A: Jeans

Q: Name something a woman sees that would make her tell her husband to stop the car 

A: A bicycle

Q: The most you could afford to pay for a gallon of gas

A: $20

Q: Name a way you would treat a pet like a human         

A: Take it to the vet

Q: Name something London is famous for        

A: Pasta

Q: Name a famous Australian    

A: Peter Pan    

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Q: The name of a famous sex symbol   

A: Wilma

Q: An invention that has replaced stairs 

A: Wheel

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Q: Name something associated with the show “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”

A: Bob Barker

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