It’s Easter Monday – Er… Make That The Easter Monday Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

An Easter themed quiz this Monday appropriately enough.

Most of the questions shouldn’t prove too difficult although there are a few in there that might be challenging.

I’ve included some multiple choice too to help the odds a bit.

Enjoy and good luck.

.

.

Q.  1:  Which Jewish religious event often coincides with Easter?

.

.

Q.  2:  Who was the first person to see Jesus after his resurrection?

.

.

Q.  3:  How long does Lent last for?

.

.

Q.  4:  Egg-rolling is a traditional Easter event in seven countries. A point for each one you name correctly.  

.

.

Q.  5:  How many disciples joined Jesus at the Last Supper?

            a) 10           b) 12          c) 14

.

.

Q.  6:  What is the religious significance of the egg at Easter?

.

.

Q.  7:  In the Christian calendar, what is the name given to the last Sunday before Easter?

            a) Palm Sunday           b) Pentecost           c) Whitsun

.

.

Q.  8:  In which country is there a contemporary tradition of reading or watching murder mysteries at Easter?

.

.

Q.  9:  Who starred in the movie Easter Parade?

           a) Judy Garland           b) Ginger Rogers           c) Elaine Paige

.

.

Q. 10:  When the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate offered to release Jesus, which prisoner did the crowd demand was let go instead?

            a) Herod           b) Barabbas          c) Judas

.

.

Q. 11:  Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote the score for which Easter-based musical?

            a) Evita           b) Jesus Christ Superstar            c) Cats Glenn

.

.

Q. 12:  Which American island is named after rabbits?

            a) Coney Island           b) Staten Island           c) Long Island

.

.

Q. 13:  In Bermuda, the ascent of Christ is symbolized by what?

            a)  Balloons            b)  Kites            c)  Doves            d)  Fireworks

.

.

Q. 14:  What buns do people traditionally eat at Easter?

.

.

Q. 15:  What is the name of the disciple who betrayed Jesus and what did he receive as payment?  (A point for each correct answer.)

.

.

Q. 16:  What does Mardi Gras have to do with Easter?

            a)  Mardi Gras is the first day of Lent           

            b)  Mardi Gras is the last day to indulge before Lent.

            c)  Mardi Gras has nothing to do with Easter.

.

.

Q. 17:  What does the period of Lent symbolize?

.

.

Q. 18:  Which British gangster film stars Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren?

            a) The Long Easter Monday   b) The Long Easter Sunday   c) The Long Good Friday

.

.

Q. 19:  The word ‘quarantine’ literally means ’40 days’. When Neil Armstrong went into quarantine after returning from the Moon, which musical instrument did he take with him?

            a) Penny whistle          b) Banjo          c) Ukulele          d) Hammond organ

.

.

Q. 20:  “I am the eggman” is a lyric from which song by The Beatles?

            a) Paperback Writer           b) I Am The Walrus           c) Hey Jude

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

>

> 

ANSWERS

.

Q.  1:  Which Jewish religious event often coincides with Easter?

A.  1:  Passover.

.

.

Q.  2:  Who was the first person to see Jesus after his resurrection?

A.  2:  Mary Magdalene.

.

.

Q.  3:  How long does Lent last for?

A.  3:  40 days.

.

.

Q.  4:  Egg-rolling is a traditional Easter event in seven countries. A point for each one you name correctly.  

A.  4:  US, UK, Germany, Denmark, Netherlands, Lithuania, and Egypt.

.

.

Q.  5:  How many disciples joined Jesus at the Last Supper?

            a) 10           b) 12           c) 14

A.  5:  b) 12.         

.

.

Q.  6:  What is the religious significance of the egg at Easter?

A.  6:  It represents the tomb Jesus rose from.

.

.

Q.  7:  In the Christian calendar, what is the name given to the last Sunday before Easter?

            a) Palm Sunday           b) Pentecost           c) Whitsun

A.  7:  a) Palm Sunday.

.

.

Q.  8:  In which country is there a contemporary tradition of reading or watching murder mysteries at Easter?

A.  8:  Norway.

.

.

Q.  9:  Who starred in the movie Easter Parade?

           a) Judy Garland           b) Ginger Rogers           c) Elaine Paige

A.  9:  a) Judy Garland.

.

.

Q. 10:  When the Roman Governor Pontius Pilate offered to release Jesus, which prisoner did the crowd demand was let go instead?

            a) Herod           b) Barabbas            c) Judas

A. 10:  b) Barabbas.         

.

.

Q. 11:  Andrew Lloyd Webber wrote the score for which Easter-based musical?

            a) Evita           b) Jesus Christ Superstar            c) Cats Glenn

A. 11:  b) Jesus Christ Superstar.

.

.

Q. 12:  Which American island is named after rabbits?

            a) Coney Island           b) Staten Island           c) Long Island

A. 12:  a) Coney Island.

.

.

Q. 13:  In Bermuda, the ascent of Christ is symbolized by what?

            a)  Balloons            b)  Kites            c)  Doves            d)  Fireworks

A. 13:  b) Kites.

.

.

Q. 14:  What buns do people traditionally eat at Easter?

A. 14:  Hot cross buns.

.

.

Q. 15:  What is the name of the disciple who betrayed Jesus and what did he receive as payment?  (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 15:  Judas Iscariot,  and he received 30 pieces of silver.

.

.

Q. 16:  What does Mardi Gras have to do with Easter?

            a)  Mardi Gras is the first day of Lent           

            b)  Mardi Gras is the last day to indulge before Lent.

            c)  Mardi Gras has nothing to do with Easter.

A. 16:  Answer b) Mardi Gras is the last day to indulge before Lent.

.

.

Q. 17:  What does the period of Lent symbolize?

A. 17:  Jesus’s time in the wilderness.

.

.

Q. 18:  Which British gangster film stars Bob Hoskins and Helen Mirren?

            a) The Long Easter Monday   b) The Long Easter Sunday   c) The Long Good Friday

A. 18:  c) The Long Good Friday.

.

.

Q. 19:  The word ‘quarantine’ literally means ’40 days’. When Neil Armstrong went into quarantine after returning from the Moon, which musical instrument did he take with him?

            a) Penny whistle          b) Banjo          c) Ukulele          d) Hammond organ

A. 19:  He took c) a Ukulele.

.

.

Q. 20:  “I am the eggman” is a lyric from which song by The Beatles?

            a) Paperback Writer           b) I Am The Walrus           c) Hey Jude

A. 20:  b) I Am The Walrus.

.

.

=========================================================

.

Those Who Throw Dirt Are Sure To Lose Ground.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Pun day again.

How did you get the week in without them?

It’s not easy, but you’ve made it and well done.

Here is the latest batch of the word play specials.

As always, enjoy!

.

.

When the human cannonball retired they couldn’t

find a replacement of the right caliber.

.

. 

Wow my breakfast seems to have had a

really positive psychological effect on me!

Maybe it was that Freud egg I had for breakfast…..

I feel so Jung at heart?

.

.

He tried to find a bunch of bananas at the supermarket,

but it turned out to be a fruitless search.

.

. 

Could you call a chicken led rebellion a coop d’etat?

Call that a yolk?

.

. 

Did you hear about the frog who parked at fire hydrant

– the cops came along and toad him away…

.

. 

Did you hear about the Dentist and Manicurist who got married?

They fought tooth and nail!!

.

. 

It wasn’t that he had anything against French football,

he just didn’t like Toulouse

. 

.

Teaching your kids in the heat of the moment

is bad heir-conditioning.

.

. 

There has to be a repair shop

for baroque musical instruments.

.

. 

“You can whip our cream

but you can’t beat our milk,”

said the farmer.

.

. 

This is just bang out of order!

.

. 

Somebody called me ‘pretentious’ the other day.

Well, I nearly choked on my tall soy carmel machiato latte

with no foam and extra extra (sweet and low)..

.

. 

The wife just found out I replaced our bed with a trampoline.

Boy! Did she hit the roof.

.

. 

I phoned my work this morning and said,

“Sorry boss, I can’t come in today, I have a wee cough.”

He said,

“You have a wee cough?”

I said,

“Really? Cheers boss, see you next week!”

.

. 

I got arrested for shoplifting in the supermarket today.

I paid for six cans of Sprite at the checkout,

but when security checked my bag

he discovered I’d picked seven up.

.

. 

I just got ripped off by a Chinese guy.

This pan he sold me doesn’t fly at all.

.

. 

We had another row last night,

the underlying message being that my

“sense of direction was causing huge problems in the relationship”.

Eventually, tired and frustrated, I stood up,

packed my things and right.

.

. 

I’m nervous and excited about the new

job I start at a restaurant tomorrow.

I just can’t wait.

.

. 

Did you here about the Taxidermist who was mugged?

He fought off his attacker with his bear hands.

.

. 

I saw a guy stacking shelves at the supermarket

complaining because the top shelf was broken,

and he couldn’t keep it up.

I think he had a wrecked aisle dysfunction.

.

=====================================

.

A Thought For Easter Sunday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

.

My father, who I loved and respected deeply, passed quite suddenly many years ago one August 12th. Now don’t worry, tissues not required, this isn’t going to be one of those sentimental posts as you will see in a moment, just setting a principle.

You see ever since that day I always know that when August 12th comes round that is the anniversary of his passing. Not that I do much to commemorate it or anything, but every year – same date – that’s it.

So why am I talking about something that happened in mid August now at the end of March?

Well, because they tell me this weekend is Easter and that always messes with my logic circuits.

Easter is a day that is honored by nearly all of contemporary Christianity to celebrate the Resurrection of Jesus Christ, which took place on the third day after his crucifixion at Calvary.

So here’s a simple question.

If someone we know dies on a certain day of a certain month that date remains constant, it does not change, the anniversary is the same every year.

So why do we celebrate the Resurrection (death plus three days) of Jesus on such wildly varying dates?

For example in 2011 it was April 24th, last year it was April 8th, this year it is March 31st and next year it will be April 20th.

The only way that makes sense, is if the date we are told to celebrate has as little to do with the Resurrection and Christianity as have eggs, bunnies or candy.

It doesn’t seem to matter any more in America and many other western countries because the powers that be are intent on abandoning their Christian ethos for fear of offending those who refuse to abandon their religious beliefs. They are quite happy with the confusion.

It is, however, fairly clear if you do even a little bit of research on the subject, (and I encourage you to do your own research and not take my word for it), that most of the things people now commonly associate with Easter have in fact pagan, rather than Christian, origins.

And the pagan roots of Easter lie in the worship of pagan gods and in celebrating the spring equinox, which marks the end of winter and beginning of spring. Biologically and culturally, it represents for northern climates the end of a “dead” season and the rebirth of life, as well as the importance of fertility and reproduction.

References to a similar holiday have been found as far back as 2400 BC (that’s ‘B’ as in ‘before’ ‘C’ Christ) when, for example, the city of Ur apparently had a celebration dedicated to the moon and the spring equinox which was held some time during our months of March or April. “Ishtar”, which is pronounced “Easter” was a day that commemorated the resurrection of a pagan ‘god’ called “Tammuz”, who was believed to be the only begotten son of the moon-goddess and the sun-god. In other cultures he acquired different names, including “Osiris”, “Orpheus”, and “Dionysus”.

The Phrygian fertility goddess “Cybele”, was one of the most popular of these pagan gods, and worship of “Cybele” started in Rome around 200 BC. Ironically, a cult dedicated to her was even located on what is today Vatican Hill.

Even today modern Wiccans and neo-pagans celebrate “Ostara,” or “Eostre” which are derived from the Anglo-Saxon lunar goddess, “Eostre”. “Eostre’s” feast day is held on the first full moon following the vernal equinox – a similar calculation as is used for Easter among Western Christians. On this date the goddess “Eostre” is believed by her followers to mate with the solar god, conceiving a child who would be born nine months later on Yule, the winter solstice which falls on December 21st.

Two of “Eostre’s” most important symbols are the hare (both because of its fertility and because ancient people saw a hare in the full moon) and the egg, which symbolized the growing possibility of new life. Each of these symbols continues to play an important role in modern celebrations of Easter.

So Easter, like many other things the establishment encourages us to believe, is not quite what it purports to be.

I’ll leave the last word to someone smarter than me,

“See that no man deceive you.” Matt 24:4

.

=========================

.

Stupid Quiz Show Answers

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Regrettably I think we are coming close to end of my supply of stupid quiz show answers. It has been a good series and actually lasted a lot longer than I first thought. And some of them have been very amusing as well. All in all it has been well received.

I’ll call this the penultimate selection. It may contain some repeats, but they made me laugh when I read them again and if they do that then I hope they may do the same for you too.

Enjoy.

.

.

Q. What “U” are the Eastern Europeans who originated the tradition of painting Easter eggs?

A.  Yugoslavians

. 

. 

Q.  What “S” is the nearest star to the earth?      

A.  Saturn

. 

. 

Q.  Name a drink you recognize by its smell      

A.  Potatoes

. 

. 

Q.  Something a husband and wife should have separate of       

A.  Parents

. 

. 

Q.  Name a hobby people take up for the thrills involved

A.  Stamp collecting

.

.

Q.  Name a word that starts with the letter Q      

A.  Cute

. 

. 

Q.  Name a signer of the Declaration of Independence   

A.  Thomas Edison

. 

. 

Q.  Something that lets a burglar know that a house is unoccupied         

A.  No people in the house

. 

. 

Q.  Like “sugar bowl”, a bowl that’s named for the substance it contains

A.  Toilet bowl

. 

. 

Q.  Name a fictional island        

A.  Rhode Island

. 

. 

Q. Name one of Santa’s reindeer

A.  Nixon

. 

. 

Q.  Name a beverage you stir before drinking    

A.  Water

. 

. 

Q.  Name the heaviest item in your house

A.  600 pounds

. 

. 

Q.  Something starting with “egg”          

A.  Excellent

A.  Eggland

. 

. 

Q.  Name an actor who played a gangster

A.  Al Capone

. 

. 

Q.  Name a character from the movie Aladdin    

A.  Jihad

. 

. 

Q.  Name something with claws 

A.  Christmas

. 

. 

Q.  A man’s name that starts with the letter “P”   

A.  Porcupine

. 

. 

Q.  Name a pie that does not contain fruit

A.  Lemon Meringue

. 

. 

Q.  Name a room in the house where the family gathers  

A.  Bathroom

. 

===========================

 .

All You Have To Do Is Ask? Really??

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

. 

They say that all you have to do is ask.

Well, I’m asking, so I guess the rest is up to you.

Here you go….

. 

. 

Why doesn’t onomatopoeia sound like what it is?

. 

.

Does a fish get cramps after eating?

.

. 

Why is it when two planes almost hit each other it is called a near miss ? Shouldn’t it be called a near hit ?

.

.

Why isn’t palindrome spelled the same way backwards?

.

.

Why is it called TOOTHbrush when you brush all of your teeth?

.

.

Why do fat chance and slim chance mean the same thing?

.

.

If someone invented instant water, what would they mix it with?

.

.

How did a fool and his money get together in the first place?

.

.

Do cemetery workers prefer the graveyard shift?

.

.

If carrots are so good for the eyes, how come I see so many dead rabbits on the highway

.

.

Where does the fire go when the fire goes out?

.

.

So what’s the speed of dark?

.

.

Is reading in the bathroom considered Multi-Tasking?

.

.

Why do grocery stores buy so many checkout line registers if they only keep 3 or 4 open?

.

.

If anything’s possible, then is it possible that nothing’s possible?

.

.

Does anyone actually kill two birds with one stone?

.

.

Where in the nursery rhyme does it say humpty dumpty is an egg?

.

========================

. 

Yesterday It Was The Answers That Were The Problem, Today It’s The Questions

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Yesterday it was the answers that were the problem. Today it is the questions. Here is another selection of those important questions that very few seem to want to ask.

Enjoy.

.

.

Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

.

.

Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

.

.

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

 .

.

Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

 .

.

How come we never hear about gruntled employees?

 .

.

Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can’t you get honey from a plastic bee?

.

.

What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other than your hand?

.

.

Can you “stare off into space” when you’re in space?

.

.

Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

.

.

If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

.

.

If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

.

.

If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

.

.

Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?

.

.

If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

.

.

If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

.

.

If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?

.

.

If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

.

.

=====================================

.

More Monday Madness – It’s Quiz Show Answers Time Again

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Another Monday and more quiz show answers. Those that know about these things tell me that the universe is expanding. All I can tell you it would need to be expanding fast because the amount of stupidity in the world is accelerating at a phenomenal rate.

Want proof?

Read on….(and enjoy)

 .

Q: An article of clothing kids usually don’t like wearing   

A: Gap 

 

 

Q: An occupation in which you disguise your appearance           

A: Doctor

 

 

Q: Name something women borrow from each other      

A: Husbands

 

 

Q: Name a bad place to look for good husband material

A: Family Reunion

 

 

Q: Name something you put under a pillow        

A: Radio

 

 

Q: An astronaut

A: Neil Young

 

 

Q: Name something a man wears to bed           

A: Condom

 

 

Q: Name a room in the house where the family gathers   

A: Bathroom

 

 

Q: Name something people do when they’re alone         

A: Make love

 

 

Q: Name something starting with “egg”  

A: Excellent

A: Eggland

 

 

Q: Someone you’d never want to see the results of your IQ test 

A: The IRS

 

 

Q: Name a pie that does not contain fruit           

A: Lemon Meringue

 

 

Q: An ugly color           

A: Puce

 

 

Q: The one thing people know about Rosie O’Donnell.   

A: That she was the wife on the TV show “Roseanne”

 

 

Q: Name something a wife tells her husband to put on   

A: Makeup

 

 

Q: Name something a woman out on a date would hate to discover on her face  

A: Booger

 

 

Q: Name a department in a supermarket

A: Lingerie

 

 

Q: Name something you keep in the drawer beside your bed      

A: Contraceptives

 

 

Q: Name a magazine that many men get subscriptions to as gifts           

A: Playgirl

 

 

Q: The one word that people yell at the end of a performance    

A: “I love you.” 

 

 

Q: Someone Bugs Bunny might invite to his birthday party         

A: Doc 

 

 

Q: Name something that might get backed up   

A: Trash

A: Yourself

 

 

Q: Name something you know about Rudy Giuliani        

A: Absolutely nothing

 

 

Q: Name something you’d yell at if it stopped working   

A: Spouse

 

 

Q: Name a game show title that best describes your marriage    

A: Happy Days 

 

 

Q: Name a food that’s red on the inside

A: Kiwi 

 

 

Q: The talent show with the crankiest judges, past or present      

A: America’s Funniest Home Videos

 

 

Q: Name something you wash once a week       

A: Self 

 

 

Q: Name a TV show with the word “family” in it, past or present  

A: My Three Sons

 

 

Q: One of Santa’s reindeer        

A: Nixon

 

 

=================================