Fifteen Fascinating Facts From Fasab’s Flipping Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I seem to be running out of ‘F’ words for my titles to these. Sorry for the repetition but I’m trying to avoid using the obvious in case it might offend.

Nevertheless, it’s time for a few more strange facts. Curious things that you probably never knew or even though of before. After you read this, of course, you will know them, whether you care to ever think of them again is entirely up to you.

Enjoy.

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If you mouth the word “Colorful”

it looks like you are mouthing “I Love You”.

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Astronauts have a patch of velcro inside their helmets

so they can scratch their nose

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Your cell phone has more bacteria than a toilet seat

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About 75 acres of pizza are eaten in the U.S. everyday.

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It takes more calories to eat a piece of celery

than the celery had in it to begin with.

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Cleopatra married two of her brothers.

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A single cup of gasoline, when ignited,

has the same explosive power as five sticks of dynamite.

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Keeping you car tuned up is a good way to save on gas.

A car that is tuned up is 9% more efficient on gas.

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Acupuncture was first used as a medical treatment

in 2700 BC by Chinese Emperor Shen-Nung.

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13% of Americans actually believe

that some parts of the moon are made of cheese.

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A female ferret will die if it goes into heat and cannot find a mate.

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In ancient Rome,

when a man gave sworn evidence in court

he would swear on his testicles,

hence the term testifying.

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John Wilkes Booth’s brother once saved the life of Abraham Lincoln’s son.

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There are no clocks in Las Vegas gambling casinos.

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The word “lethologica” describes the state of

not being able to remember the word you want.

 

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Did you try mouthing the word “Colorful” in a mirror?

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CLASSIFIED: For Your Eyes Only, Part Eight!!!!!!!!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Part eight of the series on classified ads written by the intellectually challenged.

They probably thought what they said was smart. In fact they probably thought that what they said was what they said, only when you read what they said, they said something they didn’t mean to say. If you see what I mean. You soon will.

Enjoy!

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It’s A Day For A Little More Word Play

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for another bunch of those word plays they call puns.

Get your groans ready and enjoy!

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I usually take steps to avoid elevators.

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The girl wanted to lose weight so she went to the paint store. She heard she could get thinner there.

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He had a difficult time bouncing back from his bungee cord accident.

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The cannibal’s cookbook titled ‘How to Better Serve your Fellow Man’ was written by a guy who had a wife and ate kids.  

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My friend wore a blindfold at the shooting range, he didn’t know what he was missing.

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If you need something done, call an electrician – they conduit.

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Although Nobelists tend to have dynamite personalities, Niels was a Bohr, and Linus was a Pauling.

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The police arrested me after my therapist suggested I take something for my kleptomania.

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When Peter Pan punches, they Neverland.

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The magician got so mad he pulled his hare out.

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The new weed whacker is cutting-hedge technology.

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Novice pirates make terrible singers because they can’t hit the high seas.

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I used to be a watchmaker. It was a great job and I made my own hours.

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I hate the price of candy at the movie theater. They’re always raisinette.

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All the waterfowl kept their eyes closed except for one. He was a Peking Duck.  

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Deafness is getting to be quite a problem for me lately. Wow, I never thought I’d hear myself say that.

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Bugs have very diverse religious views, because they are all in sects.

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She’s happy to make a pair of pants for you, or at least sew its seams.

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England doesn’t have a kidney bank, but it does have a Liverpool

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When you think about it, mummies are bound to be uptight.

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A Tribute To Peanut Butter, Yum! – Oh, And A Lot Of Things You Probably Didn’t Know About Peanuts

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I must admit to not having much time for nuts with allergies, er… to nuts. But I’ve always liked the edible variety, particularly peanuts and peanut butter. Liked it when I was a kid, still like it today. One of the best culinary inventions ever, in my opinion.

Mr Peanut – Planters logo

 

Peanut butter has been invented and reinvented many times during history. Peanuts were known as early as 950 B.C. and originated in South America. The ancient Incas used peanuts and were known to have made it into a paste-like substance.

As a crop, peanuts emigrated from South America to Africa thanks to early explorers and from there traveled by trade into Spain which then traded the product to the American colonies. A rather roundabout way to get to the US, but there you are, or rather, here it is.

The first commercial peanut crop was grown in Virginia in the early to mid 1840’s and in North Carolina beginning around 1818.

According to the Corn Products Company, Dr. Ambrose Straub of St. Louis patented a peanut butter-making machine in 1903 and some unknown doctor invented peanut butter in 1890.

Dr. John Harvey Kellogg patented a “Process of Preparing Nut Meal” in 1895 and used peanuts. Kellogg served the patients at his Battle Creek Sanitarium peanut butter. Joseph Lambert worked for Dr. Kellogg and began selling his own hand-operated peanut butter grinder in 1896. Almeeta Lambert published the first nut cookbook, “The Complete Guide to Nut Cookery” in 1899.

By 1914, many companies were making peanut butter.

Joseph L. Rosenfield invented a churning process that made peanut butter smooth and in 1928, licensed his invention to the Pond Company, the makers of “Peter Pan” peanut butter.

In 1932, he began making his own brand of peanut butter called “Skippy” which included a crunchy style peanut butter.

But it is possibly agricultural chemist, George Washington Carver who has the best claim to the peanut butter gold medal position. In the course of his research he discovered three hundred uses for peanuts and hundreds more uses for soybeans, pecans and sweet potatoes.

Carver wanted poor farmers to grow alternative crops both as a source of their own food and as a source of other products to improve their quality of life.

He started popularizing uses for peanut products including peanut butter, paper, ink, and oils beginning in 1880, the most popular of his 44 practical bulletins for farmers contained 105 food recipes using peanuts.

However, Carver did not patent peanut butter as he believed food products were all gifts from God. The 1880 date precedes all the above inventors except of course for the Incas, who were first. It was Carver who made peanuts a significant crop in the American South in the early 1900’s. Today half of all edible peanuts produced in the United States are used to make peanut butter and peanut spreads.

Thanks Mr G W Carver.

George Washington Carver – One Of America’s Great Scientists

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And here are a lot of other things you probably didn’t know about peanuts….

 

• Peanuts are one of the ingredients of dynamite;
• The peanut is not a nut, it is actually a legume;
• It takes more than 500 peanuts to make one 12 ounce jar of peanut butter;
• The Planters Peanut Company mascot, Mr. Peanut, was created during a contest for schoolchildren in 1916;
• Throughout the South, peanuts were known as “Monkey Nuts,” and “Goober peas,” before the civil war;
• The fear of peanut butter sticking to the roof of the mouth is called Arachibutyrophobia;
• People living on the east coast prefer creamy peanut butter, while people living on the west coast prefer chunky peanut butter;
• Skippy Peanut Butter is sold more in the world than any other peanut butter;
• The average American kid will eat approximately 1.500 peanut butter sandwiches by high school graduation;
• The #1 peanut producing state is Georgia;
• On average, the American household consumes six pounds of peanut butter annually;
• 96% of people put the peanut butter on first when making a peanut butter and jelly sandwich;
• Americans consume the most peanut butter in the world;
• Approximately three jars of peanut butter are sold every second;
• In a year, about 90 million jars of Skippy Peanut Butter are sold. (This works out to three jars sold every second);
• In the U.S. peanuts account for 66% of all snack nuts;
• Both Thomas Jefferson and Jimmy Carter, U.S. presidents, were peanut farmers at one time;
• Peanut butter is an effective way to remove chewing gum from hair or clothes;
• Incas used to create pots in the shape of peanuts that were highly prized;
• In Greene, New York, you are not allowed to eat peanuts and walk backwards on the sidewalk during a concert.

 

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Duck Shoot Shot!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

 

I did a bit of hunting when I was a kid and it was enjoyable enough at the time. And I have nothing very much against it for those who are inclined to such pastimes. But as I got older I lost interest in it. If there’s vermin around I’ll take out my shotgun and dispatch it no problem. But these days, and you may agree with this or not, I find that there are much more interesting things to do that trying to outwit a duck.

The same can not be said for these two intrepid hunters.

The story begins with a guy in Michigan, USA, who bought a brand new $30,000 Grand Cherokee, on credit naturally. He was very proud of his new rig, and got hold of his friend to do some male bonding with the new ride.

They decided to go duck hunting on a frozen lake and turned up with their guns, a dog, lots of beer and of course the new vehicle. They drove out onto the ice.

Now, they needed to make a hole in the ice to attract ducks – something for the decoys to float on. In order to make a hole large enough to interest a flock of ducks, they needed to use something a bit bigger than your normal ice drill. But, thinking ahead and coming prepared, they had brought with them a stick of dynamite with a 40-second fuse.

You can probably see where this is going already?

To their credit, these guys realized that they wanted the explosion to be far away from themselves, the jeep and their equipment. However, they also didn’t want to light the fuse and run back to the jeep in case they slipped on the ice.

So far so good, and the logic of their thinking was okay.

Their solution, however, was to stay where they were, light the dynamite and then throw it as far as they could.

Again so far so good, it still sounded like a plan.

So they did that very thing. They threw the dynamite and the explosive landed a suitable distance away. They waited for the explosion.

However, when they made their plan they had no contingencies in it about their dog.

A well-trained golden Labrador, it immediately set out across the ice to bring the back the stick.  That’s what dogs do. And this dog did.

The two would-be hunters started yelling, stomping, and waving their arms.

The dog glanced back but took all the frantic activity as approval and encouragement and happily ran back toward the hunters, fizzing stick of dynamite firmly clenched in it’s jaws.

As the dog approached, one of the pair thought rapidly, grabbed his shotgun, and shot the dog.

Unfortunately the shotgun was loaded with #8 duck shot and was hardly effective enough to stop a dog the size of a Labrador.

The dog did pause for a moment, slightly confused, but then continued on.

Another shot rang out.

This time the dog became really confused and, quite naturally, scared.

He changed direction, and now with an extremely short fuse still burning, headed for the nearest and indeed only cover on the wide expanse of ice.

Yeah, underneath the guy’s brand new Cherokee.

The dynamite went off, and dog and jeep plummeted to the bottom of the lake.

Strangely, the insurance company refused to pay up.

 

 

golden Labrador dynamite retriever