Some Baby Facts Included Today.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, baby facts and a lot of grown up facts too in this selection.

Hope you find something of interest.

Enjoy.

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did you know2

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In spite of their crying sounds,

babies tears don’t begin to flow until they

are around 4 to 13 weeks old.

 baby crying

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Anne Parrish, an American writer was browsing

in a Paris bookstore one day when she came across

a book called, ‘Jack Frost and Other Stories’.

She began to tell her husband how she loved

the book when she was a child.

He took the book, opened it,

and inside the cover were written the words

“Anne Parish, 209 N Weber Street, Colorado”.

 Anne_Parrish,_children's_author,_head_shot

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The Titanic had its own newspaper

called The Atlantic Daily Bulletin.

 The Atlantic Daily Bulletin

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The term ‘Geek’ first showed up in northern Britain

in 1876, when it was used to refer to a fool.

Americans tweaked the meaning and by 1957 it meant

‘an unsociable and over-diligent student’.

Of course, once computers turned up in the 80’s,

‘geek’ took on a second meaning as

‘an expert in computers or science’.

 Bill_Gates_Paul_Allen_1981

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The first modern lighter was invented by

German chemist Johann Wolfgang Dobereiner in 1823,

three years BEFORE the match was invented

by John Walker in England.

 Johann Wolfgang Dobereiner

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One of the most iconic military vehicles of all time has to

be the Willys MB Jeep, manufactured from 1941 to 1945.

This small four-wheel drive utility vehicle has

a maximum speed of up to 65 mph (105 km/h)

and an operational range of 300 miles (almost 500 km).

It was used by several countries in WWII,

including the US, UK, France and the Soviet Union.

 Willys MB Jeep

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Technically Europe is not a continent,

it’s separation from Asia was actually a Greek idea.

 Europe map

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While filming Lord of the Rings

in the mountains of New Zealand,

Sean Bean refused a helicopter ride to a set

that was high in the mountains

due to his fear of flying.

He instead hiked up to the set

in his full Boromir armor

every day that they shot up there.

 boromir

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In Indonesia the government has restricted some

lanes of traffic to only cars with 3 or more people

to try to cut down overcrowding on the roads.

Some poor people from the city outskirts

take advantage of this law by offering drivers a

Professional Hitchhiker service,

so they can drive in the fast lanes.

 Indonesia traffic jam

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Genghis Khan believed that a man could be measured

by the number of children he fathered

and consequently his harem included thousands of

women with whom he had a great many children.

So many, in fact, that geneticists have found

that roughly 8% of men in Asia carry his genetic legacy

in their Y-chromosome.

 Genghis Khan  descendents map

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127,000 trees are chopped down every day

in order to keep up with the global demand

for toilet paper.

Holy S***!!!

 toilet paper

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The original ER movie was to be directed

by Steven Spielberg until he became more interested

in another of Crichton’s projects: Jurassic Park.

Spielberg Jurassic Park

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The Quizzes March On!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The quizzes do March on and we are starting this month with a good mix of questions. Some you should get without too much difficulty and some you will have to think about for a while.

Oh yes, and one that I will be surprised if anyone gets the bonus points for. You’ll know it when you see it.

As usual if you do get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating.

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz 05

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Q.  1:  ‘Solidarity’ was an important Trade Union in which country in the 1980s?

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Q.  2:  In lawn bowls (and its indoor version), what is the target ball called?

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Q.  3:  Which creature lives on mulberry leaves?

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Q.  4:  In the USA what cities are known as the

 a) Big D?    b) Steel City?    c) City of Brotherly Love?    d) Emerald City?

(A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if get all four correct.)

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Q.  5:  In relation to power what is the equivalent of 746 watts?

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Q.  6:  What word denoted the new policy of openness adopted by Mikhail Gorbachev’s government in the Soviet Union?

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Q.  7:  What well known pottery form takes its name from the Italian for “baked earth”?

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Q.  8:  How long did Rip Van Winkle sleep for?

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Q.  9:  What term is given to a piece of rock or metal from space that reaches the surface of the Earth?

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Q. 10:  The suffix ‘stan’ is Persian for ‘place of’ or ‘country’. The names of seven countries end in ‘stan’, what are they? (You get a point for each one you can name correctly and five (yes, 5) bonus points if get them all correct.) 

a) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ stan  

b)  _ _ _ _ _ _ stan       

c) _ _ _ _ _ _ stan    

d) _ _ _ _ stan      

e) _ _ _ _ _ _ stan      

f) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ stan    

g) _ _ _ _ _ _ stan

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Q. 11:  What color is the most-prized variety of jade?

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Q. 12:  Whose theorem uses a 3, 4, 5 triangle?

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Q. 13:  Piraeus serves as the port for which major city?

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Q. 14:  Which insects communicate with one another by dancing?

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Q. 15:  What was the name of Captain Nemo’s submarine?

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Q. 16:  What creature is an ophidiophobe afraid of?

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Q. 17:  In the US and the UK what is the name given to the government department responsible for formulating and recommending economic, financial, tax, and fiscal policies?

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Q. 18:  Which of the 12 Zodiac signs start with the letter ‘L’ ?

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Q. 19:  Which English politician, when told by Lady Nancy Astor that if he were her husband she’d put poison in his coffee, replied that if she were his wife he’d drink it?

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Q. 20:  What popular song originated as the jingle “Buy the World a Coke” in the groundbreaking 1971 “Hilltop” television commercial for Coca-Cola? (A bonus point is available if you can also correctly name the group.)

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  ‘Solidarity’ was an important Trade Union in which country in the 1980s?

A.  1:  Poland.

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Q.  2:  In lawn bowls (and its indoor version), what is the target ball called?

A.  2:  Jack.

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Q.  3:  Which creature lives on mulberry leaves?

A.  3:  The Silk worm.

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Q.  4:  In the USA what cities are known as the

    a) Big D?      b) Steel City?      c) City of Brotherly Love?      d) Emerald City?

(A point for each correct answer and a bonus point if get all four correct.)

A.  4:  The correct answers are   

a) The Big D = Dallas     

b) The Steel City = Pittsburgh       

c) The City of Brotherly Love = Philadelphia            

d) The Emerald City = Seattle

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Q.  5:  In relation to power what is the equivalent of 746 watts?

A.  5:  746 watts is the equivalent of 1 horse power.

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Q.  6:  What word denoted the new policy of openness adopted by Mikhail Gorbachev’s government in the Soviet Union?

A.  6:  Glasnost.

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Q.  7:  What well known pottery form takes its name from the Italian for “baked earth”?

A.  7:  Terracotta.

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Q.  8:  How long did Rip Van Winkle sleep for?

A.  8:  Twenty years.

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Q.  9:  What term is given to a piece of rock or metal from space that reaches the surface of the Earth?

A.  9:  It is known as a ‘Meteorite’.

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Q. 10:  The suffix ‘stan’ is Persian for ‘place of’ or ‘country’. The names of seven countries end in ‘stan’, what are they? (You get a point for each one you can name correctly and seven (yes, 7) bonus points if get them all correct.) 

a) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ stan   

b)  _ _ _ _ _ _ stan        

c) _ _ _ _ _ _ stan  

d) _ _ _ _ stan      

e) _ _ _ _ _ _ stan      

f) _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ stan    

g) _ _ _ _ _ _ stan

A. 10:  They are in alphabetical order, 

a)  Afghanistan    

b)  Kazakhstan    

c)  Kyrgyzstan   

d)  Pakistan    

e)  Tajikistan   

 f)  Turkmenistan    

g)  Uzbekistan

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Q. 11:  What color is the most-prized variety of jade?

A. 11:  Green.

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Q. 12:  Whose theorem uses a 3, 4, 5 triangle?

A. 12:  Pythagoras.

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Q. 13:  Piraeus serves as the port for which major city?

A. 13:  Athens.

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Q. 14:  Which insects communicate with one another by dancing?

A. 14:  Bees.

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Q. 15:  What was the name of Captain Nemo’s submarine?

A. 15:  It was called the ‘Nautilus’.

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Q. 16:  What creature is an ophidiophobe afraid of?

A. 16:  Snakes.

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Q. 17:  In the US and the UK what is the name given to the government department responsible for formulating and recommending economic, financial, tax, and fiscal policies?

A. 17:  Treasury.

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Q. 18:  Which of the 12 Zodiac signs start with the letter ‘L’ ?

A. 18:  They are Leo and Libra.

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Q. 19:  Which English politician, when told by Lady Nancy Astor that if he were her husband she’d put poison in his coffee, replied that if she were his wife he’d drink it?

A. 19:  Winston Churchill.

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Q. 20:  What popular song originated as the jingle “Buy the World a Coke” in the groundbreaking 1971 “Hilltop” television commercial for Coca-Cola? (A bonus point is available if you can also correctly name the group.)

A. 20:  “I’d Like To Teach The World To Sing (In Perfect Harmony) by The New Seekers.

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I Never Question Myself. Why Should I Start Now?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Why indeed!

I certainly never question the popularity of puns.

So here is another word play day for toy to…..

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I went to see my doctor with chronic depression.

I said, “Feeling any happier these days doc?”

doctor with chronic depression

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My friend certainly knows how to make an entrance.

He just put up my new front door.

new front door

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I’ve just broken all my DVDs of Japanese cartoons.

I’m my own worst anime.

anime

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My dog just swallowed my phone

and got it stuck in his throat,

I’m going to ring his neck.

cartoon dog

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Just for a laugh, I changed the font at our local church

but the Vicar wasn’t happy.

It took him half a day to get it back

to Times New Roman.

font

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I’ve gone off them a bit now,

but there was a time when I used to really dig graves.             

grave_digging_afghan

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My new girlfriend really takes my breath away.

She’s inflatable.

inflatable woman

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I could hear the wife moaning about

a wobbly shelf in the kitchen.

I soon fixed that.

I turned the TV up.

tv volume control

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I’m fed up with my friend Adam.

He walks round like he is God’s gift to women.

Adam

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My dad was watching a news broadcast about Gaza.

He was so shocked he dropped hezbollah cornflakes.

cornflakes

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My wife left because she thinks

I have an obsession with electricity.

I was like, “Watt, I’m shocked….

it hertz me when you say stuff like that.

Currently I’ve not been myself I admit,

but it would help if you had some positive input in

my life instead of being negative.

But none of that matters any more,

I’m going ohm.”            

electrical terms

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I’m planning on becoming a shepherd.

It’s easy, I herd.

shepherd

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My next song is about subtraction.

Take it away…      

subtraction

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Leaving her living room,

a blonde finds her husband lying unconscious

at the foot of the stairs and in a panic she calls ‘911’.

“My husband’s fallen down the stairs,” she cries.

“Calm down, madam,” the operator tells her,

“do you know what caused the fall?”

“No, what?”

blonde blonde

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Shop assistants are so rude these days.

I went into the DVD store and asked if they had

any about people stranded on a desert island.

The assistant told me to get lost.

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You Know What They Used To Say In The Middle Ages, “Resistance Is Feudal”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Happily we don’t live in the middle ages, so now resistance is futile.

If you haven’t guessed already….

It’s pun day!

Enjoy.

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rofl

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I’m in a band called Atom

We’ll never split.

Stylised_Lithium_Atom

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I’ve been drawing bar graphs, pie charts

and venn diagrams all over walls in town.

I’m a graphitti artist.

bar graphs, pie charts and venn diagrams

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We were going for a picnic today and my husband

asked me to get some ice and a cooler bag.

I thought, “That’s a bit harsh,

there’s nothing wrong with my current bag”.

cooler_bag_full

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Can someone give me a definition of homosexuality,

in lay-men’s terms?

gay_closet

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On the investment front I’m worried that my shares in a

major cordial company are going to be diluted.

raspberry-cordial

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Don’t trust people who avoid the sun.

They’re shady.

shady people

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Signing up to a mailing list has done nothing to

quell my addiction for German poetry.

I’m getting verse by the day.

German poetry

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According to a survey,

seven out of ten people use the double negative.

I ain’t never heard such nonsense in my life.

do not put nothing here

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The horse came galloping towards me,

the sun glistening off the rider’s armour, helmet and lance,

which I realised was aimed at my head.

Man, those knight-vision goggles are really awesome!

knight

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Running a bingo hall is more than just a job.

It’s a calling.

bingo-hall

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Whilst on holiday near lake Geneva

I purchased a large bottle of mineral water

I struggled to carry it though,

it was an evian.

evian bottle

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There are two i’s in narcissist

and they absolutely hate each other.

narcissism-and-preaching

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After a terrible Chinese meal last night, I refused to pay.

Unfortunately the chef heard what I said and pinned me up against the wall,

threatening me with a pan unless I paid up.

Talk about being stuck between a wok and a hard place.

AntCreationsChineseChef

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I saw a man with a bald patch earlier.

I thought, “He’s obviously trying to cut down, or quit being bald”.

bald-spot

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It appears that smoking heroin is

far better for addicts than injecting it,

needleless to say.

druggie cartoon

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A girl from Prague stopped me in town earlier and

asked where the best shop for clothes was.

I said “Check Republic.”

republic store

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What do you call a brittle Scotsman?

A Glasswegian.

Scotsman

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I hate it when people make jokes about Vietnam.

It Hanoi’s me.

Vietnam Map

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Jay-Z? A psychiatrist?

Must be Shrink Rap.

jay-z

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We spent a fortune on electrocution lessons for our son.

Until he learned to speak properly.

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Did You Know? The Facts – Just Gimme The Facts.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Just gimme the facts it says in the title and that’s exactly what you get.

It’s another interesting fact day at the fasab blog.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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The word “moose” comes from the native

Algonquian Indian word meaning “twig eater.”

Did You Know moose

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Before he wrote Jaws,

Peter Benchley was a speechwriter for LBJ.

Did You Know LBJ-Benchley_WhiteHouse_roundtable

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In 1728, the philosopher Voltaire got rich by outsmarting the lottery.

When the French government accidentally created a raffle where the prize money

was significantly larger than the cost of all the tickets combined,

Voltaire and his friend formed a syndicate, bought all the tickets, and won.

Did You Know Voltaire

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It takes the Hubble telescope about 97 minutes to complete an orbit of the Earth.

On average, the Hubble uses the equivalent amount of energy

as 30 household lightbulbs to complete an orbit.

Did You Know hubble-space-telescope

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There are over 100 styles of BluBlocker sunglasses available on the market

Did You Know blublocker

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People didn’t always say “hello” when they answered the phone.

When the first regular phone service was established in 1878,

people said “ahoy.”

Did You Know telephone ahoy

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One of the Bond girls in the James Bond movie,

“For Your Eyes Only,”

used to be a man

Did You Know bond girl fyeo carolyn

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The word Himalayas means the “home of snow.”

Did You Know himalayas

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The Margherita pizza was named for Margherita of Savoy,

Queen consort of Italy from 1878-1900,

during the reign of her husband, King Umberto I.

Did You Know italian-pizza-margherita

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Over 175 million cubic yards of earth

was removed for the creation of the Panama Canal

Did You Know panama-canal

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Hawaii is the most geographically isolated land mass in the world.

Did You Know map pacific hawaii

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By partially filling saucers with vinegar and

distributing the saucers around a room,

you can eliminate odors

– well, accept for them smell of vinegar perhaps!

Did You Know vinegar

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Oddly enough

– or perhaps not, as the case may be –  

the very first high heels were made for soldiers in the 1500s

who needed a way to keep their feet snugly tucked

into their stirrups while riding on horseback.

Did You Know soldiers high heels

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Fredric Baur invented the Pringles can.

When he died in 2008, his ashes were buried in one.

Did You Know pringles fredric baur

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The famous jewelry store Tiffany & Co.

was established on September 18, 1837 in New York City.

The amount of sales that were made the first day were $4.98

Did You Know tiffany fifth ave

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A man filed a lawsuit against his doctor

because he survived longer than what the doctor had predicted

Did You Know medical suit

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During WWII, La-Z-Boy manufactured seats for tanks,

torpedo boats, gun turrets, and armored cars.

Did You Know La-Z-Boy logo

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It requires 63 feet of wire to make a Slinky toy

Did You Know slinky

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The Hollywood sign was first erected in 1923.

It was first erected as “Hollywoodland.”

Did You Know hollywoodland

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Janis Joplin left $2,500 in her will for her friends to

“have a ball after I’m gone.”

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Silly Named Game.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A few months ago, I can’t remember exactly without doing a search on the blog, I did a short series that I called ‘The Silly Name Game’. Unsurprisingly it featured people with silly names. And some of them were very silly indeed. Here are a couple of examples to get you in the mood.

Silly name

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funny names 002

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But names are inflicted on people. They don’t really get to choose them. If they are lucky the girls ease their pain by ditching a silly or embarrassing birth name for that of a husband, but the guys are stuck, unless they change the ones they get at birth by deed poll or some other official device.

However, as luck would have it, people don’t tend to find their own names humorous or unusual. Familiarity I suppose dulls the senses over the years.

But the question that puzzles me most is, why, when people do get to choose a name, like a name of a town, for example, do they choose something absolutely awful?

If you have never noticed or thought about that you have an opportunity now because this post is about towns that have been named rather badly by someone who really should have known better. Personally I think large amounts of either stupidity or alcohol (or perhaps a combination of both) may have had something to do with it.

Here you go.

As always, enjoy.

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 silly town names - City of Cumming

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silly town names - Sweet Lips

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silly town names - Goobertown

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silly town names - Burnt Corn

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silly town names - Beaver Lick

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silly town names - Horneytown

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silly town names - Climax

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silly town names - Toad Suck

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silly town names - Penistone

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silly town names - Dildo

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silly town names - Middlefart

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And perhaps most appropriately of all,

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silly town names - Idiotville

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More Random Samples From The Fasab Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If its facts you want we have them!

So here is another selection.

If you can’t find something you don’t know in here then you know far too much.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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“Kemo Sabe”, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger

means “Soggy Shrub” in Navajo Indian.

The Tonto in Spanish means “a fool”.

Lone Ranger and Tonto

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Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

ketchup

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Killer whales have such a good sense of touch

that if you dropped a pill into a bucket

and feed it to the orca

it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.

Shamu_the_Killer_Whale_Sea_World_Orlando

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Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Kleenex

.

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Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs

have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD.

Oh mummy!

knitted socks

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Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969,

there by setting a new world’s record

for runners in the 100 years or older class.

He was 101.

old-runner

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5% of Canadians don’t know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem,

but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

Canadian Anthem

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7% of Americans don’t know the first 9 words of the American anthem,

but know the first 7 of the Canadian anthem.

American Anthem

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85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S.

paper

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99% of the solar system’s mass is concentrated in the sun.

sun-etc

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There is a company in Taiwan makes dinnerware

out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

wheat dinnerware

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About 70% of Americans who go to college

do it just to make more money.

(The rest are just avoiding reality for four more years.)

college

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America once issued a 5-cent bill.

5 Cent Bill

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The Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahuac,

whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

Now there’s revenge for you!

cuitlahuac_realista

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Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of

their unwanted people without killing them

used to burn their houses down

– hence the expression “to get fired.”

youre-fired

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Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland

because he doesn’t wear pants

– the little pecker!

donald_duck

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Marijuana is not as chemically addictive

as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today

is because in the 1930’s cotton growers lobbied against

hemp farmers whom they saw it as competition.

marijuana-leaf

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Special playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.

If captured, they could be soaked in water

and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

map-card

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The three best-known western names in China are

Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

.

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Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill,

‘If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’.

To which Churchill replied,

‘If you were my wife, I would drink it’.

Astor vs Churchill

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===================================

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Time For Another Fun Filled Facts Day

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes it’s time for another day filled with those fun facts that we all like to read.

And they’ll come in handy when you least expect it, as one or two people have already found out.

So learn and enjoy!

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In the 1800s feeding lobster to prisoners

was considered to be ‘a cruel and unusual punishment,

like making people eat rats’.

lobster-thermidor

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Mosquitos are more attracted to the color blue than any other color.

mosquito-hunter

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The Guinness Book of Records holds the record

for being the book most often stolen from Libraries.

guinness-world-records-2013-book_0

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In Albania,

nodding your head means ‘no’

and shaking your head means ‘yes’.

opposite-day

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You share your birthday with at least 9 million other people in the world.

How unique is that?

birthday

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In India, Pajamas are accepted as standard daytime wearing apparel.

kurta-pajama

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A female oyster produces 100 million young in her lifetime;

the typical hen lays 19 dozen eggs a year;

rats multiply so quickly that in 18 months, two rats could have over million descendants;

and it is possible for one female cat to be responsible for the birth of 20,736 kittens in four years.

kittens

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The greatest officially recorded number of children born to one mother is 69,

to the wife of Feodor Vassilyev (b. 1707–c.1782), a peasant from Shuya, Russia.

In 27 confinements she gave birth to 16 pairs of twins, seven sets of triplets and four sets of quadruplets.

Only two of the children failed to survive their infancy.

69-children-born-to-one-woman

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750ml of blood pumps through your brain every minute

which is 15-20% of blood flow from the heart.

brain

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The February of 1865 and 1999 are the only months

in recorded history not to have a full moon.

moon

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It has been estimated that at any one time

around 0.7% of the world’s population is drunk.

Cheers!

Cartoon_Drunk

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The name Jeep comes from “GP”,

the army abbreviation for General Purpose.

jeep

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Baby Ruth candy bar was named after Grover Cleveland’s daughter, Ruth,

not the baseball player.

baby-ruth-logo

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Elwood Edwards did the voice for the AOL sound files

(i.e. “You’ve got Mail!”).

Elwood Edwards

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55.1% of all US prisoners are in prison for drug offenses.

prisoners

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Sherlock Holmes NEVER said ‘Elementary, my dear Watson!’

Holmes does use the word ‘elementary’ in The Crooked Man (1894)

but ‘Elementary, my dear Watson’ itself was coined 21 years later

by P.G. Wodehouse in his novel Psmith, Journalist (1915).

However, Holmes did ejaculate several times, as did Watson and others.

In fact, there are 23 ejaculations in total, with 11 belonging to Watson and 6 to Holmes.

On one occasion, Holmes refers to Watson’s ‘ejaculations of wonder’ being invaluable;

on another, Watson ejaculates ‘from his very heart’ in the direction of his fiancée.

A chap called Phelps ejaculated three times during the story of The Naval Treaty.

The only other ejaculator is Mrs St Clair’s husband,

who ejaculates at her from a second-floor window!

Paget_holmes

It is not clear whether it is Holmes or Watson who ejaculates in the passage below,

taken from “The Man with the Twisted Lip”, 1891:

“So he sat as I dropped off to sleep, and so he sat when a sudden ejaculation caused me to wake up,

and I found the summer sun shining into the apartment. The pipe was still between his lips,

the smoke still curled upward, and the room was full of a dense tobacco haze,

but nothing remained of the heap of shag which I had seen upon the previous night.”

Isn’t the English Language wonderful.

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One For The Rod

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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How about a short story of love, betrayal, and revenge to end the week?

Enjoy.

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The divorce had just become final and she was preparing to remove all her remaining belongings from what had been “their” house.

On the first day, she sadly packed her belongings into boxes, crates and suitcases.

On the second day, she had the movers come and collect her things.

On the third day, she sat down for the last time at their beautiful dining-room table, by candle-light. She put on some soft background music, and feasted on a pound of shrimp, a jar of caviar, and a bottle of spring-water.

When she had finished, she went into each and every room and deposited a few half-eaten shrimps dipped in caviar into the hollow centre of the curtain rods.

Then she cleaned up the kitchen and left.

On the fourth day, her ex-husband came back to the house with his new girlfriend, and at first all was bliss.

Then, slowly, the house began to smell.

They tried everything; cleaning, mopping, and airing-out the place.

smellyhouse2

Vents were checked for dead rodents, and carpets were steam cleaned.

Air fresheners were hung everywhere.

Exterminators were brought in to set off gas canisters, during which time the two had to move out for a few days.

In the end they even paid to replace the expensive wool carpeting.

Nothing worked!

People stopped coming over to visit.

Repairmen refused to work in the house.

The maid quit.

smellyhouse1

Finally, the ex and his new girl couldn’t take the stench any longer, and decided they had to move.

But a month later – even though they’d cut their price in half – they couldn’t find a buyer for such a stinky house.

Word got out, and eventually even the local realtors refused to return their calls.

Finally, unable to wait any longer for a purchaser, they had to borrow a huge sum of money from the bank to buy a new place.

It was then that she called her ex-husband and asked how things were going.

He told her the saga of the rotting house.

She listened politely and said that she missed her old home terribly and would be willing to reduce her divorce settlement in exchange for having the house.

He was so desperate to get rid of the unsaleable house, that he agreed on a price that was only 1/10 th of what the house had been worth.

And because he knew she could have no idea how bad the smell really was, he wasn’t going to give her any time to visit the place again.

The deal was good only if she would sign the papers that very day!

She agreed.

Within two hours his lawyers delivered the completed paperwork which she duly signed.

A week later her ex-husband and his girlfriend stood smiling as they watched the moving company pack everything to take to their new home…….

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……and to spite the ex-wife, they even took the curtain rods too!

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Aren’t happy endings just great?

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I Don’t Know How They Do It But Every Week They Seem To Get Worse!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, I really don’t know how they do it, but every week they do seem to get worse. Where these answers come from or why shall always be a mystery, but they are fun and that’s what we like here, especially on a Monday!

You gotta start the week with a smile 🙂

Enjoy.

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Q: The perfect temperature for an autumn day   

A: 87   

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Q: An important city during colonial times          

A: Virginia

A: New England

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Q: Name something parents yell at their kids to finish    

A: “Get off that computer”

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 .

Q: Name a movie people love to watch at Christmas      

A: Snow White 

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Q: Name a type of fruit found in tarts    

A: Sweet tarts

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Q: Name something you buy by the set 

A: Paper

Q: Name something you buy in a larger size if you have a large family    

A: Jeans

Q: Name something a woman sees that would make her tell her husband to stop the car 

A: A bicycle

Q: The most you could afford to pay for a gallon of gas

A: $20

Q: Name a way you would treat a pet like a human         

A: Take it to the vet

Q: Name something London is famous for        

A: Pasta

Q: Name a famous Australian    

A: Peter Pan    

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Q: The name of a famous sex symbol   

A: Wilma

Q: An invention that has replaced stairs 

A: Wheel

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Q: Name something associated with the show “Who Wants To Be A Millionaire”

A: Bob Barker

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