Looking Through The Windows

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Have you noticed that Microsoft Windows operating systems follow a distinct pattern?

By that I mean that after a fairly decent stable version, it inflicts a bloated piece of trash on the poor consumer. Software that is invariably rushed out to the public before it is ready, or before someone in the company has had the decency to take it out behind the Microsoft barn and shoot it.

Invariably each new version of Windows is hailed by Microsoft as “the best Windows yet”. You can understand that advertising hype I suppose, but it just ain’t true, they only get it right about half of the time.

The other half, Microsoft takes a good idea and turns it into a bad one as it tries to be new and trendy and interesting. It invariably ends in disaster.

After a number of faltering tries, most of which I experienced during my long love affair with computers that I previously wrote about on this blog (click here if you want to read it), we eventually got a decent operating system that Microsoft called ‘Windows XP’. It was stable, did everything reasonably well, didn’t suffer from too many dreaded blue screens, if any, and everyone was happy, particularly business users which are Microsoft’s bread and butter.

I know some people who are still happily using ‘XP’ despite its lack of updates to fix security issues like new hacks or threats now that Microsoft has finally ditched it.

Sadly, Microsoft followed the ‘XP’ success with a thing they called ‘Windows Vista’. As usual it was intended to be breakthrough technology. They tell me it was the brainchild of Bill Gates himself.

However, ‘Windows Vista’ had one big flaw.

To put it bluntly, it was a piece of crap!

Most people, with the exception of the idiots who have to have every shiny new thing that is announced whether it is any good or not, stayed well away from ‘Vista’, and wisely so. Just to see what all the complaints were about my curiosity made me load it on to an old machine. I persevered with it for a couple of days before taking it off my computer for ever, never the easiest thing to do with Microsoft operating systems but I did it. I had to. It was dreadful.

I continued happily with ‘XP’ until it was time to change my laptop. The new one came with a 64bit version of ‘Windows 7’ on board. I had read good things about ‘Windows 7’ and they were largely true. It was a good system.

In fact a lot of people agree, because ‘Windows 7’ runs on about fifty-five per cent of the World’s PCs. ‘Windows 7’ was a winner because it didn’t try to make a big splash by attempting to do everything everything else did, only worse. It was just a good stable operating system that worked.

‘Vista’ became a distant memory, people were happy once more.

But then Microsoft went and did it again.

Instead of allowing ‘Windows 7’ to stay on as a cash cow, their idiot designers thought it was time for a new breed in the herd.

They ignored everything that was good about ‘Windows 7’ and, in a nerd-like stupor of unreality, decided what the world needed was not something that they were familiar with and liked, but something they wouldn’t know how to use and that would frustrate the hell out of them.

So it was that the horrible ‘Windows 8’ was conceived and born. It ignored the desktop and most of the laptop markets completely and aimed itself squarely at the touch-tablet system, Microsoft thinking that was where everyone was going. They didn’t say so, but a big part of their plan was to try to get kick Google’s ass because its ‘Android’ operating system for mobile devices and tablets had become a dominant market force (80%+ of the market).

It could all have been so different if the arrogant know-alls at Microsoft had listened to what people were telling them when they did exhaustive testing for ‘Windows 8’ before releasing it. About 1.24 billion hours of testing was done pre-release and all the feedback ignored, presumably because it was overwhelmingly negative.

Needless to say, when ‘Windows 8’ did hit the market it failed.

In fact it failed on all levels.

It alienated the desktop and laptop users. Business users didn’t want it and ordinary consumers didn’t want it either. It was so bad it wasn’t even popular with the mobile device users it was aimed at.

Microsoft got themselves stuck with one of the least wanted versions of Windows in the history of the company and that’s saying something!

‘Windows 8’ is so bad it has even eclipsed the hated ‘Vista’ in the league of things you never want near your computer.

It’s not just my opinion. Microsoft’s share of the PC and tablet market on ‘Windows 8’ is only just a little over 10 per cent and quite a lot of that is made up of people who didn’t have a choice when they bought a new machine with this catastrophe pre-loaded on it.

So what have I got on my computer?

I’m glad you asked. I have ‘Windows 8’!

WTF?

No, wait, I’m not a hypocrite, not completely.

‘Windows 7’ is no longer available since Microsoft stopped retailers and PC makers from selling and installing it.  It has entered into what Microsoft calls an ‘extended support mode’, but this only means that from now on all you will get will be new bug fixes, if and when problems crop up.

So when I needed to upgrade my laptop the dreaded ‘Windows 8.1’ was all that was available. They call it version ‘8.1’ because it is 0.1 percent less horrible than version ‘8’, but that’s still nowhere near being even average, let alone good!

Of course, trying to regain my dignity and sanity, I immediately tweaked the whole horrible mess that ‘Windows 8.1’ is, for example, adding back the start button (like ‘Windows 7’), loading a proper desktop version of ‘Skype’ instead of the irritating piece of crap app that is bundled with ‘Windows 8’, and doing some more bits and bobs to make the thing actually work like a ‘Windows 7’ machine. The bloated and useless ‘Metro’ start screen is also gone and I boot right to my familiar desktop.

The only reason I didn’t dump the whole shebang and load on my old ‘Windows 7’ program was because the new ‘Windows 10’ version is so tantalizingly close.

‘Windows 10’ ? Wait a minute. What happened to ‘Windows 9’ ?

There are a lot of theories about what has happened to ‘Windows 9’. Personally I think Microsoft already had it in development as another souped up version of ‘Windows 8’ when they launched ‘Windows 8’. But when they saw what a disaster that was they just ditched the whole thing and put all their efforts into ‘Windows 10’.

The official line from Microsoft says they have called the new operating system ‘Windows 10’ because they wanted to emphasize that it is is not a simple step up from ‘Windows 8’ but is a huge change for the company from the way they build Windows to how it will be deployed.

In plain English what that means is that Microsoft themselves know what a crappy program ‘Windows 8’ was and are trying to put some distance even in their numbering system between it and their new baby.

That aside, from what I have read so far, ‘Windows 10’ is a step back towards ‘Windows 7’ rather than a move ahead to where ‘Windows 8’ was trying to go. In other words, ‘Windows 10’ is bringing back the parts of the Windows desktop stupidly dumped by the designers of ‘Windows 8’.

At last Microsoft has hit the reality wall with a big slap and realized that safe and familiar is what the vast majority of their consumers want. The detestable immersive UI experience that forced bewildered users into the flawed ‘Metro’ world is gone and the desktop environment is back. And so is the beloved start button – hurrah!

Sanity has returned!

No, wait a minute, this is Microsoft what are you thinking?

‘Metro’ is still there, although in a much toned down version, with ‘Metro-looking’ apps that can be run in the desktop environment.

Apparently Microsoft has also integrated its digital assistant ‘Cortana’, the rival to Apple’s ‘Siri’ and Google’s ‘Now’, which made its debut on the unwanted ‘Windows Phone’. On the phones, ‘Cortana’ is used for voice-activated calls and searches, mapping, location and to launch apps. I’m guessing it will be on ‘Windows 10’ for the same reasons, but how much use people will make of it remains to be seen and heard.

I have also read that with ‘Windows 10’ comes a new Windows browser, codenamed ‘Spartan’, which may or may not integrate with ‘Cortana’. If it is a better browser than IE that will be a good thing, but don’t hold your breath on that score, after all IE versions just kept getting worse and worse when compared to something like ‘Google Chrome’. Another point against it in my book is that it has been designed as an app rather than a proper program so the jury is still out on it. I think I’ll still be using ‘Google Chrome’!

It is a bit obvious that the idea of adding these, really unnecessary, features, to ‘Windows 10’ is an attempt by Microsoft glamorize the new operating system and, by no means least, a smoke and mirrors attempt by the company to divert attention away from the fact that it has stuffed ‘Windows 8’ in the bin where it always belonged.

So for now we just to wait and hope. On past performance, after such a turkey as ‘Windows 8’, the next Microsoft version of its operating system should be good. It has to be better. It wouldn’t be possible to do worse.

But you never know for sure with Microsoft.

One final thought.

If your name was ‘Gates’ why would you call your operating system ‘Windows’ instead? Did he suspect right from the start that there would be embarrassing catastrophes ahead and didn’t want his family name associated with them?

As I said, just a thought.

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Many Happy Returns Webby!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The World Wide Web, created by Sir Tim Berners-Lee, turned 25 years old this year, 2014.

There has never been anything like it before, certainly not as regards the impact it has made on society and the way we live our lives. Many of those changes are good, many are not so good and a few are downright annoying.

Here’s my take on some of them.

To concentrate on the good parts first, the one thing the www has done, for those who can use it effectively, is to give access to information that was previously only available to the elite few who managed to claw their way into the lofty heights of academia, or who worked in places where information was readily available. Now the same information is accessible at the touch of a button to anyone and everyone with a smart phone, tablet or computer.

Another benefit, in my view anyway, is that is has sent a massive wake-up call to telephone providers world wide, many of whom were fast asleep, content to rake in healthy profits from antiquated systems. No longer do we have to settle for slow and temperamental data transfer lines. Nowadays, particularly in the last few years, people are demanding systems that can cope with download streams in the gigabyte range. If you are old enough to remember the first modems you will know you wasted too much of your life trying to download at 12Kb/sec., sometimes less.

Freedom is also a welcome by-product of the World Wide Web.

The freedom to work in any country in the world, from virtually any country in the world is one big plus – it is for me anyhow. Another one I particularly like is the freedom to watch TV programs that I like, when I like, no longer tied to the schedules of some brainless bean-counter working for a broadcasting company. And the freedom to have your say on things as and when the mood takes you – they call that blogging don’t you know! – is also a great advantage to the ordinary person.

As is the freedom to disseminate information across the globe instantly, as Mr Snowden ably demonstrated, although I would hazard a guess that the powers that be would not agree with me on that one.

Indeed, this is the one aspect of the www that really bothers big brother.

China for example is one country where access is controlled by the state. Coincidentally this year also marks the anniversary of the Tiananmen Square massacre, you’ll find articles about that if you do a search, but probably not in China. They get away with it because they are not a democracy and do not pretend to be one.

In other countries, like the good old Land Of The (Not So) Free (Anymore)), the powers still like to con their people into believing that they are living in a democratic nation and that the people have the power to vote for this or that. But think for a moment, when was the last time you got to vote on whether to start a war, or whether to give $billions of your money to the greedy banksters to pay themselves huge bonuses and gamble away the rest?

It is because they need to keep the pretence of democracy going, that they do not yet have the confidence to start overtly censoring the internet. But they do all they can to snoop on what people are reading, or writing, or looking at.

This is where the freedom the www and associated technology provides can also be a negative, when it is used by governments to surveil us and record every piece of data they can. If they were doing this selectively and targeting terrorists and criminals no one would be too worried. But they are doing it to all of us, guilty and innocent alike.

They are also doing everything they can think of to impose taxes on internet commerce – of course they have to coz they’re stoney broke.

The www has revolutionized business practices and created all sorts of new commerce opportunities, Amazon perhaps being the best example of a company that has gone from nothing to a multi-billion dollar business in just a few years.

Communication and social interaction are also areas where the www has liberated the ordinary person – first with email and more recently with social media. In the near future expect to see social media expanding to become much more than individual platforms such as Facebook or Twitter. We are already seeing many new applications that are allowing people to communicate more widely, more easily and more often.

Another negative is that the World Wide Web has unwittingly facilitated the proliferation of pornography and violence, and is teaching a generation of morons all the wrong things. Things that will ensure they become a burden on society, not an asset.

And it has also opened a whole new environment in which criminals can operate. Millions of dollars are being stolen every day through scams, confidence tricks and outright theft.

You could say (and I frequently do) that people dumb enough to fall for these scams deserve all they get, or all they lose, is perhaps a better way of putting it. You know, the idiots who believe they really have won a lottery they didn’t buy a ticket for, or who think that Dr Umbungo Watanga from Nigeria is being truthful when he tells them that someone they never heard of has left them $25 million and all they need to do is send all their personal details and a few thousand dollars to unlock the fortune that awaits them. There really is one born every minute it seems!

All that said, and twenty-five years on, the www is still in its infancy. We have come a long way in the past 25 years, but we have really only scratched the surface as regards what the web has the potential to do to further improve our daily lives.

Where the vision to develop the www will come from in anyone’s guess. The only thing we know for sure is that the initiative won’t come from governments or their bureaucratic servants, simply because the people we elect to those positions do not have the required intelligence.

So its up to you. If you have any great ideas you want to share, send me an email.

Sir Tim Berners-Lee, the man who created the World Wide Web.

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Using Words Incorrectly Is Addicting.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Using words incorrectly may be addicting, but so are puns.

Here is this week’s word play selection.

Enjoy or endure!

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The skin on all the oranges in our

kitchen cupboard has been scraped off.

I think somebody has been taking the pith.

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My friend composes ditties about sewing machines.

She’s a Singer songwriter.

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They say male lions will often turn to

cannibalism when they’re desperate for food.

They just have to swallow their pride.

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I went to the optician and he said I was short sighted.

I said, “Nonsense – I’m very open minded.”

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I said to my friend,

“It’s important that no-one mentions any film production companies.”

“How important is it?” he asked.

“Paramount,” I replied.

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My friend’s father has been living in Iraq’s

capital for the last year with an awful woman.

He’s just told him,

“you’ve got to leave that old bag dad.”

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It’s amazing how a piece of technology

as simple as a tablet can revolutionize your life.

Those viagra are amazing.

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I have an intelligent Taser.

Whenever I use it on someone it explains to

them in no uncertain terms why I’m doing it.

I call it my frank zapper.

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How do they search online in Israel?

They just go on the Netanyahu.

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My next door neighbor recently won the lottery.

She always had gender issues and

felt she was a man trapped in a woman’s body,

so the first thing she did was have a sex change.

Who said money can’t buy a penis?

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“I love having red hair – the ladies really dig it,”

said Tom, gingerly.

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When they bought a water bed,

the couple started to drift apart.

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The world’s largest DIY store chain

is to run their own schools,

the curriculum will be normal but

the day will start with self-assembly.

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My son is being forced to smoke by our French exchange student.

Pierre Pressure.

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Documentary on the Pointer Sisters tonight.

I’m so excited.

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Beware Of Geeks Bearing GIFs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is always in the title.

Yes, prepare to give you chuckle muscles a workout.

It’s pun day.

Another selection of those jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy   

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I’ve been trying to get this computer to work for an hour now.

Wish I’d bought a laptop.

So much lighter to carry.

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My friend clearly wears dentures but won’t admit it.

He’s lying through his teeth.

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Still thinking of taking that long term job in the PDRK?

Personally I’d choose a different Korea.

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As my wife and three of her friends

squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers,

I muttered under my breath, “Fat cows.”

“What was that?” snapped my wife.

“You herd.”

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I thought I was in for the long hall.

But it was just a really big mirror at the end of it.

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I was in the fitting room when a

beautiful woman walked in holding a lacy bra.

I think she was trying it on.

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Scientists have discovered a new shade of green.

It’s sublime.

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Old MacDonald loves to play with action dolls….

G I G I Joe.

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I clicked on the ‘Home Alone’ link earlier.

It opened a page for an Italian mortgage company.

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I entered my dog in the redneck dog show last week.

She won “Best Inbreed.”

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Would anyone like to buy any cymbal shaped pillows?

$50 Per cushion.

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Think the worst time of my life was when I worked as a cinema usher.

I was in a very dark place back then.

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It’s amazing how a piece of technology as simple

as a tablet can revolutionize your life.

Those viagra are amazing.

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I’ve found the alcohol which has solved all my problems.

It was liqueur.

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I have a lot of hangups.

I blame telemarketers.

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I’ve styled my hair so that it appears like I’ve got horns.

It’s my gnu look.

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NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden left Moscow Airport a while ago.

He’s no longer hiding in plane site.

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Bauxite refining is a secret carefully guarded by the aluminati.

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I can’t see the new Nicholas Cage action movie doing very well.

He plays a wrongly convicted man, trapped among

a bunch of the world’s most dangerous criminals,

all stuck inside a Refrigeration Factory.

It’s called Air Con

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Finally when I saw a woman had broken down at

the side of the road I didn’t stop to help her.

I’m not a psychiatrist.

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Another Monday Quiz – Try It If You Dare!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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What better way to start of the week than with a quiz?

Okay, okay, so there are better ways, but this is the way we’re doing it here.

I think some of the questions are pretty tough this week, but if you are up for a challenge please have a go at them.

As always the answers are waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but NO cheating!

Enjoy.

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Q  1:  From what animal do we get Catgut?

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Q  2:  What country has more lakes that the rest of the world combined?

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Q  3:  What is the collective noun for a group of Unicorns, should such a thing exist?

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Q  4:  How many of each ‘clean’ animal did God tell Noah to take into the Ark?

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Q  5:  How many people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4^th?

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Q  6:  What is the name that means “Craft of the Wise Ones”?

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Q  7:  What is printed on the tablet being held by the Statue of Liberty?

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Q  8:  The largest Groundhog Day celebration is held in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, made famous by the film of that name starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell. But what date is Groundhog Day?

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Q  9:  By what name is the Tooth Fairy known in Mexico?

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Q 10:  What former U.S. president worked as a lifeguard in his youth at a beach near Dixon, Illinois and saved over 77 lives?

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Q 11:  What was the only commercial aircraft that able to break the sound barrier?

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Q 12:  They were originally called Baby Gays. What do we know them better as?

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Q 13:  What were the first words that Thomas A. Edison spoke into the phonograph? (Now you know this, even you think you don’t)

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Q 14:  What disease killed over 20 million people worldwide in 1918?

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Q 15:  Used in US English to describe a student in the second year of study at high school or university, what does the word “sophomore” literally mean?

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Q 16:  The British call them a fruit machine, but what are they known as elsewhere?

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Q 17:  What US State is known as “Land of Enchantment”?

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Q 18:  The Tibetans call it Chomolungma. What do we know it better as?

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Q 19:  The vast majority of people, male and female, have a Glabella, but what is it?

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Q 20:  The largest library in the world is located in Washington D.C. What is its name?

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ANSWERS

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Q  1:  From what animal do we get Catgut?

A  1:  Catgut comes from sheep not cats.

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Q  2:  What country has more lakes that the rest of the world combined?

A  2:  Canada has more lakes that the rest of the world combined.

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Q  3:  What is the collective noun for a group of Unicorns, should such a thing exist?

A  3:  A group of Unicorns is called a blessing.

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Q  4:  How many of each ‘clean’ animal did God tell Noah to take into the Ark?

A  4:  According to Genesis 7:2, God told Noah to take 14 of each kind of ‘clean’ animal in to the ark.

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Q  5:  How many people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4^th?

A  5:  Only two people signed the Declaration of Independence on July 4th, John Hancock and Charles Thomson. Most of the rest signed on August 2, but the last signature wasn’t added until 5 years later.

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Q  6:  What is the name that means “Craft of the Wise Ones”?

A  6:  Witchcraft

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Q  7:  What is printed on the tablet being held by the Statue of Liberty?

A  7:  July IV, MDCCLXXVI

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Q  8:  The largest Groundhog Day celebration is held in Punxsutawney, Pennsylvania, made famous by the film of that name starring Bill Murray and Andie McDowell. But what date is Groundhog Day?

A  8:  Groundhog Day is on February 2^nd

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Q  9:  By what name is the Tooth Fairy known in Mexico?

A  9:  In Mexico the Tooth Fairy is known as the Tooth Mouse, which takes the tooth and leaves treasures in its place

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Q 10:  What former U.S. president worked as a lifeguard in his youth at a beach near Dixon, Illinois and saved over 77 lives?

A 10:  Ronald Reagan

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Q 11:  What was the only commercial aircraft that able to break the sound barrier?

A 11:  The Anglo-French manufactured “Concorde”.

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Q 12:  They were originally called Baby Gays. What do we know them better as?

A 12:  Q-Tip Cotton Swabs

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Q 13:  What were the first words that Thomas A. Edison spoke into the phonograph? (Now you know this, even if you think you don’t)

A 13:  The first words that Thomas A. Edison spoke into the phonograph were, “Mary had a little lamb.”

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Q 14:  What disease killed over 20 million people worldwide in 1918?

A 14:  The flu pandemic of 1918 killed over 20 million people

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Q 15:  Used in US English to describe a student in the second year of study at high school or university, what does the word “sophomore” literally mean?

A 15:  “wise moron.”

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Q 16:  The British call them a fruit machine, but what are they known as elsewhere?

A 16:  A slot machine.

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Q 17:  What US State is known as “Land of Enchantment”?

A 17:  New Mexico is known as the “Land of Enchantment”

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Q 18:  The Tibetans call it Chomolungma. What do we know it better as?

A 18:  Mount Everest

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Q 19:  The vast majority of people, male and female, have a Glabella, but what is it?

A 19:  The space between your eyebrows is called the Glabella

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Q 20:  The largest library in the world is located in Washington D.C. What is its name?

A 20:  The Library of Congress

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