“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Nothing broken here though, you’ll be glad to hear.
So let’s get on with a bit more word play that you love to….
Enjoy or endure!
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What did Salvador Dali have for breakfast?
A bowl of surreal.
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There’s a bloke in Hungary who goes round from door to door
trying to convert people to Zen philosophy.
He’s a Buddha pest.
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If an Earl is awarded an O.B.E,
does he become an earlobe?
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My mum’s got this weird fetish for sleeping with boxing gloves.
Her doctor thinks it’s just the menopause setting in,
but I just think she’s going through a rocky patch.
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Do you think the name for the head
of the Indian Mafia is ‘Poppa Don’?
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My girlfriend asked me the other day,
“Dave, why do you always walk in front of me?”
I said, “I’m sorry, I don’t follow you.”
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There’s a monster under my bed,
that plays loud music and dances around.
That damn boogieman.
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I entered my dog in the redneck version of Crufts last week.
She won “Best Inbreed.”
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A man went to the doctor and said,
“I’m sick and tired of finishing crosswords so quickly!”
He said, “Try not to get two down sir.”
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I went to a fancy dress competition
dressed as Winston Churchill.
I thought my costume was great,
I had the hat, the suit, the bow tie, everything!
When I asked them whether I’d won,
they said I was close, but no cigar.
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I was in Wal Mart buying batteries today.
I asked the assistant if I would be better buying re-chargable
batteries or just get the cheapest and change them often.
“There’s positives and negatives with both,” she told me.
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My school has a really bad drugs problem.
Especially class A
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I was stopped by a policeman and
asked if I could identify myself.
I looked in the mirror and said,
“Yes officer, it’s definitely me.”
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My wife said to me,
“Tonight, in bed, you can do anything you want”.
So I invited my secretary over.
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I’m in love with an eel
– that’s a moray.
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