Sweaty Palms And Underarms – I Smell Fact Day!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, today’s selection of facts includes sweaty palms and underarms.

You may be surprised by these and some of the other offerings below.

Enjoy.

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did you know5

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A person can only remember

four things at a time.

remember four things at a time

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And speaking of four,

of the four smokestacks on the Titanic,

only three were real working chimneys,

the fourth was totally for decoration only.

four smokestacks on the Titanic

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Palm sweat can be triggered by two separate things,

your body trying to control its temperature

or trying to cope with emotional stress,

both of which are closely linked.

Palm sweat

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In July of 1518 a woman began to

dance in the street in Stasbourg.

She was eventually joined by about 400 dancers.

It’s not clear exactly how many people died

due to this ‘dancing plague’, but some

definitely died from heart attack,

stroke or exhaustion.

Dancing-Plague-1518

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The Great Pyramid of Giza is the oldest of

the Seven Wonders of the Ancient World

and the last one still in existence.

Great Pyramid of Giza

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In his entire career (so far) James Bond

has been shot at 4,662 times.

james_bond

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The blue whale has the largest heart

weighing over 1,500 pounds.

blue whale has the largest heart

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Although polar bears are usually born on land,

they spend most of their time at sea.

Their scientific name Ursus Maritimus

means ‘maritime bear’.

polar-bear-ursus-maritimus-underwater--19238

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When a person gets right to the precise point

or says something that is verified as correct it is

often said that they have ‘hit the nail on the head’.

The exact origin of the phrase is not known,

but it appeared for the first time in print in

1438 in The Book of Margery Kempe.

hit the nail on the head

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7,000 deaths occur each year because

of doctors’ sloppy handwriting.

doctors' sloppy handwriting

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According to the Australian census,

Melbourne has the largest Greek population

outside Greece with over 150,000 people

being of Greek origin, which technically

makes Melbourne the sixth biggest city

in terms of Greek population.

Melbourne largest Greek population

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The sweat from a man’s underarm

can help women relax,

boost their mood and

help regulate their menstrual cycle,

if applied to her lips.

There you are ladies, now you know.

sweat from a man's underarm

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Mongol fleets tried to conquer Japan

twice in 7 years, but both times

they were stopped by a typhoon.

These events were described as

Kamikaze or ‘Divine Wind’.

Kamikaze or ‘Divine Wind’

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Thomas Jefferson and John Adams

both died on July 4th

on the 50th Anniversary of

the Declaration of Independence.

Thomas Jefferson and John Adams

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Psy’s “Gangnam Style” is

the most watched YouTube video ever

with nearly 2.2 billion views and counting.

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= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

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“I Think,” Said The Sweet Potato, “Therefore I Yam.”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Well today I yam the poster of more puns.
Keep your groans handy, you might need ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
rofl.

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You can say what you like

about freedom of speech.

freedom_of_speech_in_europe

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I would love to dance at a metric party,

but I have two left 0.305 meters.

Meter-to-Foot-conversion
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Waiters are good at multiplication

because they know their tables.

waiter
.
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I accidentally grabbed a

live electric cable yesterday.

It really Hertz.

live electric cable
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Capital punishment.

capital PUNISHMENT
.
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I used to work at a car garage

that had a jet wash.

It was pointless,

there was nowhere for them to land.

airplane washing
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I got a 24 hour clock from

a garage sale for only 10/c.

They’ll be so mad,

it’s lasted far longer.

24 hour clock
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I’m in court accused of the murders of

Dracula and Monte Cristo.

I’m pleading guilty to both Counts.

Dracula and Monte Cristo
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There’s a Muslim in the street carrying a gun.

Police say he’s Ahmed and dangerous.

Ahmed and dangerous
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My ex girlfriend text to say that

she’d made a voodoo doll of me.

I think she’s pulling my leg.

Voodoo-doll
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I used to have a job in the police force,

in which I’d break into secure

computer files to uncover criminal activity.

That was until I was met by one system

that proved I wasn’t up to the job.

I just couldn’t hack it.

hacker

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Driving home, I noticed I had a

police car right up my ass.

Must have a word with my nephew

about leaving his toys lying around.

toy-police-car
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I’d been worrying about my

geography exam for a long time.

When I sat down to take it,

the first question read;

“What is the correct term for any wind that

blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?”

I don’t know what I was worried about.

It was a breeze.

breeze
.
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I was so nervous when I met my

future father-in-law that i blurted out,

“Sir, May I have your daughters

hole in handy matrimony?”

met my future father-in-law
.
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What do you call a bunch of

kleptomaniacs with musical instruments?

A Steal Band.
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Happy Thanksgiving 2014.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today is the fourth Thursday of November and also the last Thursday in November so whether you think Lincoln was right or Roosevelt was right, it still Thanksgiving Day in the USA.

To everyone who participates, enjoy the family holiday, eat too much and drink too much.

Last year I did what turned out to be a very popular post called “I Had To Post A Few Turkey Puns Today, Of Course They Are Fowl” ( Click here if you would like to read it.) And this year I’ve done it again.

So here are some more really bad jokes.

Enjoy or endure.

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rofl

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Thanksgiving,

the time of year when turkeys

fatten Americans up for Christmas!

funny-happy-thanksgiving-turkey-poster

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Why didn’t the Pilgrim want to make the stuffing?

Because it’s such a crummy job!

turkey-thanksgiving-jokes

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What happened when the turkey got into a fight?

He got the stuffing knocked out of him.

funny-turkey

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What kind of music did the Pilgrims like?

Plymouth Rock, of course!

Plymouth Rock

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What would you get if you crossed

a turkey with a baked fruit dessert?

A peach gobbler!

funny turkey photo

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What’s the best dance to do on Thanksgiving?

The turkey trot

turkey trot

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What does a Turkey drink wine in?

In a gobble-let

Turkey drink wine

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What did baby corn say to mama corn?

Where’s popcorn?

turkey eating popcorn cartoon

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Why did the turkey sit on the tomahawk?

To try to hatchet!

tomahawk

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Teacher: “What did the Indians bring

to the first Thanksgiving?”

Student: “Baseballs.”

Teacher: “Baseballs?”

Student: “Yeah,

they were Cleveland Indians!”

Logo_Cleveland Indians

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Who is the turkey’s favorite movie star?

Gregory Peck.

thanksgiving_bush

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If you divide the circumference

of a pumpkin by its diameter

Do you end up with

Pumpkin pi?

pumpkin pie pi

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Can a turkey jump higher than

the Empire State Building?

Yes of course it can

– a building can’t jump at all.

unfriends-me-on-facebook

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Why did the pilgrim’s pants keep falling down?

Because his buckle was on his hat!

pilgrim

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And finally,

instead of talking turkey,

let’s hear someone sing turkey instead.

Take it away Dickie Stickhead

(Phew, you have to be careful how you say that name!)

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There’s A Fine Line Between Hyphenated Words…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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There is indeed a fine line between hyphenated words – haven’t you noticed?

Yes, it’s the day to play on words, or play with words.

Whatever way you want to put it, it’s pun day!

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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The other day I held the door open for a clown.

I thought it was a nice jester.

clown jester

.

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I thought my Granny was going to get me a jumper for my birthday

but she just gave me a card again.

cardigan

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I play for my shop fitting company’s football team.

We are great on the counter attack.

a_Dodson_Shop_Fitters_Reception_Counter_with_Glass_Shelves

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I’ve sent a few angry letters to my Congressman.

A ‘G’ and three ‘R’s.

grrr

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I had a good morning today, I met Cameron Diaz.

And her brother, Buenos.

Cameron-Diaz

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I’m lying in bed listening to the Carpenters…

Who are taking way too long installing the new kitchen.

carpenter-kitchen-fitter

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I’ve just started a new extermination company

that specialises in felines.

I’m calling it curiosity.

Curiosity+killed+the+cat.+source+smosh+facebook+page_06d5f5_3980829

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L’Oreal Saudi Arabia.

Burkas you’re worth it.

l'oreal Saudi Arabia, burkas you're worth it

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My other half reckons I might have schizophrenia!

schizophrenia

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I took a poll recently,

and 100% of the strippers asked

were angry they had nothing to dance on.

silhouette-pole

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“OK son, what do you understand

by the word ‘omniscient’?”

He said, “God knows…”

What a clever little boy!

clever little boy

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I’m writing a post about storms.

So far, it’s just a rough draft.

storms

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Did you hear about the mexcian train killer?

He had locomotives.

Mexican train game

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What’s the singular of ‘werewolves’?

‘I’m a wolf’.

Cartoon Werewolf

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I was gob smacked when my Swedish friend came to

visit from the states and was now living as a woman.

He was Bjorn in the U.S.A.

Bjorn in the U.S.A.

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Another Day For All You Quizzers Out There.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Another set of twenty questions to get you thinking.

They say they are all easy if you know the answers – and can remember them!

Good luck with this lot, some are easy but some are quite tough.

And if you get stuck you’ll find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below – but NO cheating please!

Enjoy.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  Which vitamin is also known as ascorbic acid?

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Q.  2:  Approximately what percentage of all the water on Earth is fresh water?

           a)  3%        b)  13%        c) 23%        d) 33%

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Q.  3:  In Greek mythology which Trojan hero killed Achilles?

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Q.  4:  In which Hitchcock movie is Cary Grant’s character the victim of mistaken identity?

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Q.  5:  What type of animal is a skink?

           a) Snake        b) Lizard        c) Marsupial

 .

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Q.  6:  In German cuisine what is Stollen?

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Q.  7:  Which of these wars took place first?

           a) Boer War         b) First World War        c) Crimean War

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Q.  8:  Which American company produces the Polo clothing line?

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Q.  9:  On what English play is the musical West Side Story based?

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Q. 10:  What color is known as sable in heraldry?

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Q. 11:  Which Apostle is often described as the first Pope?

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Q. 12:  Professor Robert Langdon features in novels by which American author?

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Q. 13:  What shape is ‘rigatoni’ pasta?

            a) shell        b) tube        c) cartwheel        d) spiral

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Q. 14:  ‘Nature morte’ is the French term for what type of painting?

            a) portrait        b) landscape        c) still life

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Q. 15:  The term ‘zoophagous’ has a similar meaning to which of the following words?

            a) carnivorous        b) herbivorous        c) piscivorous

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Q. 16:  What does the musical term ‘adagio’ mean?

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Q. 17:  Harold Holt who disappeared while swimming in 1967 was the Prime Minister of which country?

            a) Canada        b) United Kingdom        c) Australia         d) New Zealand

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Q. 18:  In what country did the tango dance originate?

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Q. 19:  Which US President did John Hinckley try to assassinate?

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Q. 20:  In what year did Elvis Presley die?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  Which vitamin is also known as ascorbic acid?

A.  1:  Vitamin C.

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Q.  2:  Approximately what percentage of all the water on Earth is fresh water?

           a)  3%        b)  13%        c) 23%        d) 33%

A.  2:  a)  3%

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Q.  3:  In Greek mythology which Trojan hero killed Achilles?

A.  3:  Paris, who shot him in the heel with a poison arrow.

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Q.  4:  In which Hitchcock movie is Cary Grant’s character the victim of mistaken identity?

A.  4:  North By Northwest.

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Q.  5:  What type of animal is a skink?

           a) Snake        b) Lizard        c) Marsupial

A.  5:  b) Lizard

.

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Q.  6:  In German cuisine what is Stollen?

A.  6:  A Fruit Loaf.

.

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Q.  7:  Which of these wars took place first?

           a) Boer War         b) First World War        c) Crimean War

A.  7:  c) Crimean War

.

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Q.  8:  Which American company produces the Polo clothing line?

A.  8:  Ralph Lauren.

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Q.  9:  On what English play is the musical West Side Story based?

A.  9:  Romeo And Juliet by William Shakespeare.

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Q. 10:  What color is known as sable in heraldry?

A. 10:  Black.

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Q. 11:  Which Apostle is often described as the first Pope?

A. 11:  Peter.

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Q. 12:  Professor Robert Langdon features in novels by which American author?

A. 12:  Dan Brown.

.

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Q. 13:  What shape is ‘rigatoni’ pasta?

            a) shell        b) tube        c) cartwheel        d) spiral

A. 13:  b) tube.

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Q. 14:  ‘Nature morte’ is the French term for what type of painting?

            a) portrait        b) landscape        c) still life

A. 14:  c) still life.

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Q. 15:  The term ‘zoophagous’ has a similar meaning to which of the following words?

            a) carnivorous        b) herbivorous        c) piscivorous

A. 15:  a) carnivorous.

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Q. 16:  What does the musical term ‘adagio’ mean?

A. 16:  Slow.

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Q. 17:  Harold Holt who disappeared while swimming in 1967 was the Prime Minister of which country?

            a) Canada        b) United Kingdom        c) Australia         d) New Zealand

A. 17:  c) Australia

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Q. 18:  In what country did the tango dance originate?

A. 18:  Argentina.

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Q. 19:  Which US President did John Hinckley try to assassinate?

A. 19:  Ronald Reagan.

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Q. 20:  In what year did Elvis Presley die?

A. 20:  1977.

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It’s July 4th, You Know What Day That Is?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, you got it, it’s Pun Day.

And because Pun Day this year happens to fall on July 4th, here’s a special Independence word play edition.

Enjoy this festive edition!

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What happened as a result of the Stamp Act?

The Americans licked the British!

stamp-act-cartoon

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Why did the British cross the Atlantic?

To get to the other tide!

Valcour bay

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What would you get if you crossed a patriot with a small curly-haired dog?

A Yankee Poodle Dandy!

Yankee Poodle Dandy

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Did you hear the one about the Liberty Bell?

Yeah, it cracked me up!

Liberty_Bell_2008
The Liberty Bell

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What would Americans get if they crossed George Washington with cattle feed?

The fodder of their Country!

fodder-cow

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Where did George Washington buy his hatchet?

At the chopping mall!

chopping_mall

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What was General Washington’s favorite tree?

The infantry!

Washington  Infrantry color seal d

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What kind of tea did the American colonists thirst for?

Liber-Tea!

LIBERTEA-2a

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Which colonists told the most jokes?

Punsylvanians!

Pennsylvania-SC

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What did a patriot put on his dry skin?

Revo-lotion!

revolutionary war scene

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What dance was very popular in 1776?

Indepen-dance!

Patriotic Dance

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Which one of Washington’s officers had the best sense of humor?

Laughayette!

lafayette
Marquis de La Fayette served as a major-general in the Continental Army under George Washington and was a leader of the Garde nationale during the French Revolution.

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What was Thomas Jefferson’s favourite dessert?

Monti jello!

Thomas_Jefferson's_Monticello_Estate
Thomas Jefferson’s Monticello Estate

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What did King George think of the American colonists?

He thought they were revolting!

King George

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Why were the early American settlers like ants?

Because they lived in colonies.

Colonial America
Colonial America

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What has feathers, webbed feet, and certain inalienable rights?

The Ducklaration of Independence!

It's no longer about governing. It's about controlling.

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What would you get if you crossed the American national bird with Snoopy?

A bald beagle!

BaldBeagle

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What was the craziest battle of the Revolutionary War?

The Battle of Bonkers Hill.

Battle of Bunker Hill

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Where was the Declaration of Independence signed?

On the bottom!

Declaration of Independence signatures

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Did you hear about the cartoonist in the Continental Army?

He was a Yankee doodler!

Yankee Doodle

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What protest by a group of dogs occurred in 1773?

The Boston Flea Party!

flea party

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What would you get if you crossed Washington’s home with nasty insects?

Mt. Vermin!

Mount Vernon
Washington’s Mount Vernon Estate

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Which son of old Virginia wrote the Declaration of Independence?

I think it was Thomas Jeffer’s son.

Thomas Jefferson
Thomas Jefferson’s words and hopes. How far have the present leaders of America strayed from those lofty and laudable goals?

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Did You Know…. Another Random Selection Of Facts From The Fasab Files

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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More from the fascinating fact file.

Here are a few more things that you didn’t know you didn’t know.

Enjoy.

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did you know 5

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There are 293 ways to make change for a dollar.

change for a dollar

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A healthy (non-colorblind) human eye

can distinguish between 500 shades of gray.

So the book is wrong!

500 shades of gray.

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A pregnant goldfish is called a twit 

–  especially by her parents!

goldfish.

. 

If you plant an apple seed,

it is almost guaranteed to grow a tree

of a different type of apple.

apple tree.

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Andorra, a tiny country between France & Spain,

has the longest average lifespan:

83.49 years.

Andorra.

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“The sixth sick sheik’s sixth sheep’s sick”

is said to be the toughest tongue twister in English.

tongue twister.

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‘Duff’ is the decaying organic matter found on a forest floor.

forest.

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Gabriel, Michael, and Lucifer are the only angels named in the Bible.

archangels.

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Abraham Lincoln’s ghost is said to haunt the White House.

lincoln ghost.

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Only female mosquitoes bite.

mosquito female.

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The past-tense of the English word “dare” is “durst”

past tense.

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Months that begin on a Sunday will always have a “Friday the 13th.”

friday the 13th.

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Ninety percent of New York City cabbies are recently arrived immigrants.

(and ninety percent of that ninety percent have no clue where they are going!)

NY cabbies rogues.

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The volume of the earth’s moon is the same

as the volume of the Pacific Ocean.

moon.

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The New York phone book had 22 Hitlers before WWII.

The New York phone book had 0 Hitlers after WWII.

phone book.

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King Louis XIX ruled France for about 15 minutes 

–  he succeeded with abdication of Charles X

only to abdicate in favor of Henry V.

Louis_antoine_artois.

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Armored knights raised their visors to identify themselves

when they rode past their king.

This custom has become the modern military salute.

armored knight.

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Winston Churchill was born in a ladies room during a dance.

(and all new babies look just like him, except your own of course!)

 Churchill babies

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