“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Well today I yam the poster of more puns.
Keep your groans handy, you might need ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
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You can say what you like
about freedom of speech.
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I would love to dance at a metric party,
but I have two left 0.305 meters.
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Waiters are good at multiplication
because they know their tables.
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I accidentally grabbed a
live electric cable yesterday.
It really Hertz.
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Capital punishment.
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I used to work at a car garage
that had a jet wash.
It was pointless,
there was nowhere for them to land.
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I got a 24 hour clock from
a garage sale for only 10/c.
They’ll be so mad,
it’s lasted far longer.
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I’m in court accused of the murders of
Dracula and Monte Cristo.
I’m pleading guilty to both Counts.
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There’s a Muslim in the street carrying a gun.
Police say he’s Ahmed and dangerous.
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My ex girlfriend text to say that
she’d made a voodoo doll of me.
I think she’s pulling my leg.
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I used to have a job in the police force,
in which I’d break into secure
computer files to uncover criminal activity.
That was until I was met by one system
that proved I wasn’t up to the job.
I just couldn’t hack it.
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Driving home, I noticed I had a
police car right up my ass.
Must have a word with my nephew
about leaving his toys lying around.
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I’d been worrying about my
geography exam for a long time.
When I sat down to take it,
the first question read;
“What is the correct term for any wind that
blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?”
I don’t know what I was worried about.
It was a breeze.
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I was so nervous when I met my
future father-in-law that i blurted out,
“Sir, May I have your daughters
hole in handy matrimony?”
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What do you call a bunch of
kleptomaniacs with musical instruments?
A Steal Band.
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fasab 