“I Think,” Said The Sweet Potato, “Therefore I Yam.”

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”
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Well today I yam the poster of more puns.
Keep your groans handy, you might need ‘em.
Enjoy or endure.
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You can say what you like

about freedom of speech.

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I would love to dance at a metric party,

but I have two left 0.305 meters.

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Waiters are good at multiplication

because they know their tables.

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I accidentally grabbed a

live electric cable yesterday.

It really Hertz.

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Capital punishment.

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I used to work at a car garage

that had a jet wash.

It was pointless,

there was nowhere for them to land.

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I got a 24 hour clock from

a garage sale for only 10/c.

They’ll be so mad,

it’s lasted far longer.

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I’m in court accused of the murders of

Dracula and Monte Cristo.

I’m pleading guilty to both Counts.

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There’s a Muslim in the street carrying a gun.

Police say he’s Ahmed and dangerous.

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My ex girlfriend text to say that

she’d made a voodoo doll of me.

I think she’s pulling my leg.

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I used to have a job in the police force,

in which I’d break into secure

computer files to uncover criminal activity.

That was until I was met by one system

that proved I wasn’t up to the job.

I just couldn’t hack it.

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Driving home, I noticed I had a

police car right up my ass.

Must have a word with my nephew

about leaving his toys lying around.

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I’d been worrying about my

geography exam for a long time.

When I sat down to take it,

the first question read;

“What is the correct term for any wind that

blows between 4 and 30 miles per hour?”

I don’t know what I was worried about.

It was a breeze.

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I was so nervous when I met my

future father-in-law that i blurted out,

“Sir, May I have your daughters

hole in handy matrimony?”

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What do you call a bunch of

kleptomaniacs with musical instruments?

A Steal Band.
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Did You Know? – Today Is Fact Day.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes it’s fact day at the fasab blog, and that means another totally random selection of facts that – not only you never knew – but facts that you never knew you never knew.

Here they are.

Enjoy

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Saturn’s rings are only between

30 and 300 feet thick.

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Napoleon was once attacked by rabbits.
(I bet they were English!)

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The Constitution of the Confederate States

of America banned the slave trade.

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When the American Civil War started,

Confederate Robert E. Lee owned no slaves,

but Union general U.S. Grant did.

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The Siberian rift lake, Lake Baikal,

is not only the deepest lake on Earth

but it also has the largest volume containing

roughly 20% of the Earth’s surface fresh water.

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Officially, the longest war in history was between

the Netherlands and the Isles of Scilly.

It lasted from 1651 to 1986.

There were no casualties.

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Neil Armstrong went through U.S. customs

in Honolulu, Hawaii,

on the way back from the moon.

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The original Tron movie did not win an Academy Award

for best special effects because the judges said

they cheated by using computers.

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70% of murders in Detroit go unsolved.

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Sorry guys, but Trojan Magnum condoms

are designed for most men to fit into

so that most purchases include an ego boost.

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Karl Marx was once a correspondent

for the New York Daily Tribune.

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The straw was probably invented by Egyptian brewers

to taste in-process beer without removing the fermenting ingredients

which floated on the top of the container.

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The name for fungal remains found in coal is sclerotinite.

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The forward pass was created by the football

team at Saint Louis University.

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During his Presidency Bill Clinton sent a total of two emails.

(I guess he was busy doing other things!)

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More Stuff You Maybe Didn’t Know

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s fascinating fact day on the fasab blog.

Another random selection of stuff you maybe didn’t know and possibly didn’t know you didn’t know.

But now you will.

Enjoy.

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The fight scene on top of the train in Skyfall

was actually filmed on top of a real moving train

and Daniel Craig did not use a stunt double

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The last Woolly Mammoths lived at the same time

as the Egyptians were building the pyramids

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Because metal was scarce during World War II,

it wasn’t the acting but the Oscars given out that were wooden.

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Mexico City sinks about 10 inches a year

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In 2001 Beaver College changed its name

to Arcadia in part because anti-porn filters

blocked access to the school’s website.

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On average, 100 people choke to death

on ball-point pens every year.

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Negative emotions such as anxiety and depression

can weaken your immune system.

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“Entomophagy” is the name used to describe the fact that people eat insects,

a practice that has been going on for centuries throughout

Africa, Australia, Asia, the Middle East, and North, Central and South America,

because many bugs are both protein-rich and good sources of vitamins, minerals and fats.

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One in fourteen women in America is a natural blonde.

Only one in sixteen men is.

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Next Bugatti SuperVeyron will reach 60 mph in 1.8 seconds

at a maximum speed of 288 mph or 463 km/hr

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98% of all murders and rapes are by a

close family member or friend of the victim.

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The H Bomb leaves no blood when it is used,

only a 20 km radius of radioactive ash.

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British People Are Drunk in 76% of Facebook Photos

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Bats always turn left when exiting a cave.

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Men grow ear hair as they get older, women don’t

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An ant always falls over on its right side when intoxicated.

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Bananas contain a natural chemical that can make a person happy.

This is the same chemical found in Prozac.

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Boeing 747’s wing span is longer than the Wright brother’s first flight.

The Wright brother’s invented the airplane.

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Tigers have striped skin, not just striped fur.

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The United States sent 813 men, 27 helicopters and

nuclear capable bombers to cut down a tree in the Korean DMZ.

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Have You Heard Of The Herd?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today was originally scheduled for the latest part in the short series about the curious and amusing phobias some people seem to have. But it’s a holiday week for most of us and I have put that post back until next week.

Instead I feel the urge to say something else. Two things actually.

First one is, have you heard of the herd? In particular the herd mentality, where people do something they have no need to do just because other people are doing it?

It happens a lot. Far too much in fact.

We witnessed it during the recent election campaign where people formed opinions not on the basis of their own analysis of the candidates and policies, but because of something someone else said or something they heard on tv.

We saw it again very recently after the dreadful murders in Connecticut where the unthinking herd ignored the real problem and  jumped on gun control as a solution to senseless attacks such as this. They might as well call for a ban on knives, axes, chainsaws, bows and arrows and gasoline when they are at it as any of these could do the same job in the hands of a mental defective.

And on December 24 we witnessed another example in grocery stores throughout the country (throughout the world even) as hoards of the unthinking joined the herd and bought up bread and food supplies like the shops would not be open again for at least a month. They are open again today you dummies!

These three examples have been going on for years and people never seem to learn, they just keep on following the herd without a thought in their heads.

And this leads me on to point two which is how little thought most of us give to what we are doing and what we are buying the already well off and pampered.

I know for a fact that Santa had orders for laptops and ipads and iphones and all sorts of other expensive playthings. And I also know that he hadn’t the sense to say no, but just bought them anyway. Mea culpa as much as anyone.

Then I got to thinking that life was a lot different when I was a kid. Yes we liked to get presents at Christmas, but they were a lot less sophisticated and a lot less expensive – even in relative terms. When I was eight, for example, I didn’t need a smart phone, or any phone come to think of it, nor was my social life so complicated and hectic that I had to have a chauffeur for all my must-do activities for every day of the week.

When I was a kid we had our toys, but we also had a thing called an imagination and we could make our own fun out of very little.

So what is the problem today? Why are kids so incapable of making their own entertainment? Why are they constantly “bored” without clicking a button on a computer consol or without someone else to do their thinking for them?

Like a lot of other things, it all boils down to money at the end of the day. Now I’m not advocating poverty as a solution to the world’s ills. Far from it. I like to make money, the more the better, and the thought of being, perhaps not rich, but comfortably well off is a very nice one. But if we had to we could all make do with a lot less. And I don’t think we would be any less happier in the process.

People in other countries seem to manage quite well. And they still seem to have the mental capacity to enjoy what little they have and make their fun out of next to nothing. In other words they are happy. If things do ever deteriorate to the extent that some of the doomsday preachers are telling us, there are a lot better prepared people in the world than there are in rich countries like America, or Britain, or Germany, etc.

Think about giving your kid or nephew or niece an old oil drum from the local garbage dump next Christmas instead of an ipod touch or some other overly expensive apple. I wonder how much music and entertainment they could get out of that?

Check out the video and you will see what I mean…

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