It’s International Litarasy Day 2day

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

Final Pun Day.

For this January that is. I hope I didn’t get your hopes up .  🙂

Here we go.

Enjoy or endure!

.

rofl

.

The Inventor of the jug died today.

Tributes have been pouring in.

jug

.

.

I asked my friend if he is a compulsive shouter.

The answer was a resounding yes.

compulsive-shouter

.

.

Caught a bloke in the changing room earlier,

holding my jacket saying he thought it was his!

I think he was trying it on.

hip-hop-man-holding-jacket-12834831

.

.

I don’t like my wife going out drinking

with the girls from the nail bar.

They always end up getting hammered.

nail bar

.

.

This girl, Rene Wals, is obsessed with me.

She keeps sending me emails.

She works at GoDaddy, but I think she’s a moron

— she spells her name “Renewals.”

GoDaddy-Email-Login

.

.

The first rule of Palindrome Club is

si bulC emordnilaP fo elur tsrif ehT.

Palindrome Club

.

.

Is a woman who can’t have a baby,

unbearable, impregnable or inconceivable?

woman who can't have a baby

.

.

My girlfriend was complaining

that I never buy her flowers.

I didn’t even know she sold them.

woman selling flowers

.

.

My wife asked me how much I like

the new GPS she bought for me

I replied, “Well, I’d be lost without it.”

new GPS

.

.

I think I first realized that my drinking

had got out of control when my doctor

referred me to a Bacardiologist.

Bacardi

.

.

I call my weed “The Quran”

Because burning that shit will get you stoned.

burning weed

.

.

My wife found out that I’d been moving her

bookmark forward a few pages every night.

She really lost the plot.

bookmark in book

.

.

I was checking out this blonde girl,

when the librarian said,

“Sir, we only lend out books in here.”

librarian

.

.

Girlfriend: You have to make a choice,

it’s either me or your career as a news reporter.

Me: Well, I’ve got some news for you then.

news reporter

.

.

A teacher asks her class

“Can anyone tell me the name of Robin Hood’s girlfriend?”

Little Paddy raises his hand and says

“Yes Miss, it’s Trudy Glen.”

“No Paddy, the answer is Maid Marion.”

“But Miss, what about the song?

Robin Hood, Robin Hood, riding Trudy Glen.”

.

.

= = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = = =

.

Beware Of Geeks Bearing GIFs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

.

The clue is always in the title.

Yes, prepare to give you chuckle muscles a workout.

It’s pun day.

Another selection of those jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy   

.

rofl

.

I’ve been trying to get this computer to work for an hour now.

Wish I’d bought a laptop.

So much lighter to carry.

man-carrying-large-computer

.

.

.

My friend clearly wears dentures but won’t admit it.

He’s lying through his teeth.

funny-false-teeth-cartoon

.

.

.

Still thinking of taking that long term job in the PDRK?

Personally I’d choose a different Korea.

north-and-south-korea

.

.

.

As my wife and three of her friends

squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers,

I muttered under my breath, “Fat cows.”

“What was that?” snapped my wife.

“You herd.”

mad_cow_cartoon

.

.

.

I thought I was in for the long hall.

But it was just a really big mirror at the end of it.

long hall

.

.

.

I was in the fitting room when a

beautiful woman walked in holding a lacy bra.

I think she was trying it on.

fitting room cartoon

.

.

.

Scientists have discovered a new shade of green.

It’s sublime.

sublime_360

.

.

.

Old MacDonald loves to play with action dolls….

G I G I Joe.

GI Joe

.

.

.

I clicked on the ‘Home Alone’ link earlier.

It opened a page for an Italian mortgage company.

euro

.

.

.

I entered my dog in the redneck dog show last week.

She won “Best Inbreed.”

redneck dogs

.

.

.

Would anyone like to buy any cymbal shaped pillows?

$50 Per cushion.

cymbals

.

.

.

Think the worst time of my life was when I worked as a cinema usher.

I was in a very dark place back then.

movie_usher

.

.

.

It’s amazing how a piece of technology as simple

as a tablet can revolutionize your life.

Those viagra are amazing.

viagra_45305

.

.

.

I’ve found the alcohol which has solved all my problems.

It was liqueur.

liqueur bottles

.

.

.

I have a lot of hangups.

I blame telemarketers.

telemarketer_cartoon

.

.

.

I’ve styled my hair so that it appears like I’ve got horns.

It’s my gnu look.

Baby Gnu

.

.

.

NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden left Moscow Airport a while ago.

He’s no longer hiding in plane site.

CIA-NSA-Edward-Snowden_1

.

.

.

Bauxite refining is a secret carefully guarded by the aluminati.

aluminium rolls

.

.

.

I can’t see the new Nicholas Cage action movie doing very well.

He plays a wrongly convicted man, trapped among

a bunch of the world’s most dangerous criminals,

all stuck inside a Refrigeration Factory.

It’s called Air Con

nicolas cage con air cartoon

.

.

.

Finally when I saw a woman had broken down at

the side of the road I didn’t stop to help her.

I’m not a psychiatrist.

cartoon psychiatrist by Ron Leishman

.

====================================

.