Twitter Treasure

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Twitter logo transparent

Twitter is a good invention. It’s easy and fun. Much less demanding and intrusive than Facebook. So much so that many millions of people, from the famous to ordinary people like you and I, use it every day.

On the back of that success the Twitter company is doing very well. But recently it did even better when its shares jumped four per cent in a matter of minutes.

It all happened after a buyout story appeared on the internet that claimed that Twitter had received a significant offer. It started off, “Twitter is working closely with bankers after receiving an offer to be bought out for $31 billion…”

fake-twitter-story

Investors piled in. And not just the amateurs, lots of the ‘professional’ Wall Street guys too.

The trouble was, however, that the internet story was on a bogus web site and was completely fake. The site was called “bloomberg.market”. It was not “Bloomberg.com” the official name of the web presence for the Bloomberg financial organization.

“Bloomberg.market” was what they call a ‘mirror’ of the genuine “Bloomberg.com” website. Whoever designed “bloomberg.market” set it up to look like “Bloomberg.com”. They copied real headlines and linked them back to the real dot-com website. With one exception: the fake Twitter story, which was dressed up to look like a legitimate webpage.

The spike in the Twitter share price only lasted about 15 minutes before Bloomberg denounced the story as fake and the share price dropped back to its previous level. But 15 minutes is a long time in the world of finance and plenty of time for someone to profit substantially from the scam.

spike in the Twitter share price

No one yet knows who owns the dot-market domain – except the people who own it, of course –  but it was registered just days before the scam message, using a proxy service called “WhoisGuard”, based in Panama, that protects registrant details by offering its own address and contact numbers. But the details of “WhoisGuard” on its own website at “WhoisGuard.com” also appear to be fake, listing a telephone number that is disconnected. Emails to their contact address have not received a response either.

The significance of this incident is not that some greedy and stupid people lost money rushing to buy Twitter shares on the back of this fake announcement.

The problem is that so many new dot word domains have recently been allowed – hundreds of them in fact – that the whole internet is becoming bloated and confusing. And expensive.

If you are a company that wants to protect your online identity and integrity it could now cost you tens of thousands of dollars to cover all the permutations. Not many companies, even huge affairs like Bloomberg, will choose to do that.

That leaves the way wide open for cyber criminals to take advantage of gullible internet users.

I am certain they will.

Like the Twitter announcement, it’s just too good a deal to refuse.

online-scam_gullible-investor-cartoon

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China Really Raises A Lot Of Red Flags…

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Maybe that’s something China and puns have in common because they tend to raise a few red flags for some people too.

Not for us, though, because I know you are here for Pun Day!

Enjoy or endure!!

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rofl

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Two silkworms had a race

– it ended in a tie.

 two silk worms had a race

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If you attached a bunch of

watches together to make a belt

it would be a waist of time.

 belt made of watches

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I don’t really know maths too well.

Until recently I thought logarithms

were a brand of laxative.

 logarithms brand of laxative

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As a gift to my girlfriend, Tola,

I tattooed her name on myself in the mirror.

I think that says alot.

 mirror

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A fella in the bar asked me what it’s like to be married.

I said, “Amaze.”

He asked, “You mean amazing?”

I replied, “No, I mean it’s hard to get out of.”

 maze

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I’ve been assembling a condiment army.

It is now fully mustered.

 mustered mustard

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I was asked if I had any plans

for National Nudity Day…

I said “I’ve got nothing on”.

 National Nudity Day

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My little brother cut himself with

a razor shaving this morning.

“How Gillette that happen?” I asked.

 

cut himself with a razor shaving

 

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My dad was a man of few words.

We always beat him at Scrabble.

 Scrabble

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A friend once asked me,

“Do you think you could have an

eraser at both ends of a pencil?”

“I suppose you could,” I replied,

“but what would be the point?”

 eraser at both ends of a pencil

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A large area of the alphabet has been destroyed

in what is thought to have been a terrorist attack.

It’s not yet known who had anything to do with this atrocity.

But early reports indicate G had.

 flaming g

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My friends had a good laugh

at my expense last night.

I paid for them to go

and see a comedian.

 clipart comedian

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What’s the gayest type of question?

A query.       

 query

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My son asked me what

the opposite of a lie is.

It’s a true story.

 a true story

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Was just looking at the all time

top 10 movies list online.

I was surprised Seven wasn’t there.

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Beware Of Geeks Bearing GIFs!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The clue is always in the title.

Yes, prepare to give you chuckle muscles a workout.

It’s pun day.

Another selection of those jokes you love to hate.

Enjoy   

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rofl

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I’ve been trying to get this computer to work for an hour now.

Wish I’d bought a laptop.

So much lighter to carry.

man-carrying-large-computer

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My friend clearly wears dentures but won’t admit it.

He’s lying through his teeth.

funny-false-teeth-cartoon

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Still thinking of taking that long term job in the PDRK?

Personally I’d choose a different Korea.

north-and-south-korea

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As my wife and three of her friends

squeezed into the car after WeightWatchers,

I muttered under my breath, “Fat cows.”

“What was that?” snapped my wife.

“You herd.”

mad_cow_cartoon

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I thought I was in for the long hall.

But it was just a really big mirror at the end of it.

long hall

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I was in the fitting room when a

beautiful woman walked in holding a lacy bra.

I think she was trying it on.

fitting room cartoon

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Scientists have discovered a new shade of green.

It’s sublime.

sublime_360

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Old MacDonald loves to play with action dolls….

G I G I Joe.

GI Joe

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I clicked on the ‘Home Alone’ link earlier.

It opened a page for an Italian mortgage company.

euro

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I entered my dog in the redneck dog show last week.

She won “Best Inbreed.”

redneck dogs

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Would anyone like to buy any cymbal shaped pillows?

$50 Per cushion.

cymbals

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Think the worst time of my life was when I worked as a cinema usher.

I was in a very dark place back then.

movie_usher

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It’s amazing how a piece of technology as simple

as a tablet can revolutionize your life.

Those viagra are amazing.

viagra_45305

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I’ve found the alcohol which has solved all my problems.

It was liqueur.

liqueur bottles

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I have a lot of hangups.

I blame telemarketers.

telemarketer_cartoon

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I’ve styled my hair so that it appears like I’ve got horns.

It’s my gnu look.

Baby Gnu

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NSA whistleblower Edward Snowden left Moscow Airport a while ago.

He’s no longer hiding in plane site.

CIA-NSA-Edward-Snowden_1

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Bauxite refining is a secret carefully guarded by the aluminati.

aluminium rolls

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I can’t see the new Nicholas Cage action movie doing very well.

He plays a wrongly convicted man, trapped among

a bunch of the world’s most dangerous criminals,

all stuck inside a Refrigeration Factory.

It’s called Air Con

nicolas cage con air cartoon

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Finally when I saw a woman had broken down at

the side of the road I didn’t stop to help her.

I’m not a psychiatrist.

cartoon psychiatrist by Ron Leishman

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Yesterday It Was The Answers That Were The Problem, Today It’s The Questions

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yesterday it was the answers that were the problem. Today it is the questions. Here is another selection of those important questions that very few seem to want to ask.

Enjoy.

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Why do overalls have belt loops, since they are held up at the top by the straps?

why do overalls have belt loops?.

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Why can’t women put on mascara with their mouth closed?

Why can't women put on mascara with their mouth closed?.

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Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

Obama nailing coffin shut. .

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Why people are so scared of mice, which are much smaller than us, when no one seems to be scared of Micky Mouse, who is bigger than us?

Mickey Mouse .

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How come we never hear about gruntled employees?

gruntled employees .

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Why are plastic bears the only animal you can get honey from? Why can’t you get honey from a plastic bee?

HoneyBear.

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What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other than your hand?

What happens when you put hand sanitizer on a place other then your hand?.

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Can you “stare off into space” when you’re in space?

stare off into space

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Why do they sterilize the needles for lethal injections?

lethal-injection

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If there were a thousand seaguls in an airplane while its flying, each weighing two pounds a piece, but they were all flying in the airplane, would the airplane weigh 2000 pounds more?

seagull plane

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If a fly has no wings would you call him a walk?

cartoon fly

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If a food processor slices and dices food, what does a word processor do?

food word processor combo

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Why isn’t there mouse flavored cat food?

mouse flavored cat food

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If a hen and a half can lay an egg and a half in a day and a half, how long would it take a monkey with a wooden leg to kick the seeds out of a dill pickle?

monkey

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If a jogger runs at the speed of sound, can he still hear his Walkman?

JoggingCartoons

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If a mirror reverses right and left, why doesn’t it reverse up and down?

mirror images

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If a vegetarian eats vegetables, what does a humanitarian eat?

humanitarian meal

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Unexpected Answers From Minds That Don’t Quite Work As Intended – Yes, Quiz Show Monday

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Yes, another Monday and time for more of those unexpected answers from minds that don’t quite work as intended – even by their owners!

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Q: Name something that you wanted to do as a kid, but your parents wouldn’t let you

A: Have a snake

cartoon snake.

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Q: An occupation in which people cover their faces

A: Model

model with face hidden.

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Q: Name a food used to describe a person

A: A dog

scared dog.

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Q: Name a food you wish was healthy for you

A: Ketchup

cartoon ketchup.

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Q: The bad habit you’d most like to get rid of

A: Picking nose

Pick Me.

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Q: An expression that means “getting married”

A: Rendezvous

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Q: Name a high school class people might actually enjoy going to

A: Beverly Hills

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Q: Name a food that comes smoked

A: Tobacco

baseball-bans-chewing-tobacco.

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Q: Name something a bricklayer uses

A: Spatula

bricklayer at work.

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Q: Name a slang word for “man”

A: Homeboy

homeboy.

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Q: Name a famous Biblical twosome

A: Ralph and Susie

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Q: Name something you’d find in an operating room

A: Operator

operator.

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Q: How many times per day you look in the mirror

A: Twenty

looking in mirror.

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Q: Name a character from a horror movie that reminds you of some of your dates

A: Loch Ness Monster
A: Incredible Hulk

.Incredible_Hulk_Animated_by_soulmaninc

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Q: Name a food that can be brown or white

A: Potatoes

mr_potato_cartoon.

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Q: Name a day of the year when you want to be with friends

A: December

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Q: Name a gift that might be insulting if a woman received it from her mother-in-law

A: Shoes

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Q: Name a tall tourist attraction

A: Disneyland

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Q: Your wife’s most unappealing habit (asked to 100 married men)

A: Picking her feet

picking feet - most annoying habit
picking feet – most unappealing habit

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