A Manic Monday Quiz.

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A manic Monday quiz it is indeed.

Twenty questions covering the usual wide range of subjects, so hopefully there will be one or two that you find easy and one or two that you find a lot more difficult.

But remember, as always if you get stuck, you can find the answers waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaay down below, but please NO cheating!

Enjoy and good luck.

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quiz confused1

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Q.  1:  According to a survey conducted by Citrix, what percentage of people thought that stormy weather affects cloud computing?

            a) 1%           b) 15%           c) 51%           d) 85%

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Q.  2:  What city is known as ‘The Harbor City’ ?

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Q.  3:  What is another name for the prairie wolf?

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Q.  4:  If your boss cuts your salary by 10% but offers to let you work 10% more to make up for it, should you accept?

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Q.  5:  Six men are widely accepted to be the Founding Fathers of the United States of America. What were their names? (You get a point for each correctly named and a bonus point if can correctly name all six.)

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Q.  6:  A follow-up question to # 5, which one of these Founding Fathers once wrote a scientific piece called ‘Fart Proudly’ ?

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Q.  7:  What percentage of the Earth’s volcanoes are underwater?

            a) 10 %           b) 30 %           c) 50 %           d) 70 %           e) 90 %

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Q.  8:  In Greek mythology who attempted to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax, but flew too close to the Sun and perished when the wax melted?

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Q.  9:  And when we’re on the subject of flying, what area code would you use if you wanted to call the Kennedy Space Center in Florida?

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Q. 10:  What do you call the three sides of a right-angled triangle? (Hint, you get zero points for answering ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’.)

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Q. 11:  This one is the name of a famous Shakespeare tragedy and a multiplayer board game based on the popular game Reversi. What is it?

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Q. 12:  What nationality is the famous musician Richard Clayderman and what instrument is associated with him? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 13:  ‘Equatorial’, ‘Gulf Stream’ and ‘Humboldt’ are names give to what?

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Q. 14:  Russians consume about 6 times as much what as Americans?

            a) milk           b) coffee           c) tea           d) beer            e) spirits

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Q. 15:  Which paper format has the largest area, the ‘International A4’ as used for example in the UK or the ‘Letter’ format used in the United States?

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Q. 16:  There are seven main weight divisions used in professional boxing, what are they? (You get a point for each one you can name correctly and three bonus points if you get all seven correct.)

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Q. 17:  What is the link between something to eat, something to drink, somewhere to go and something to call your daughter?

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Q. 18:  What was the name of the cat that survived the sinking of the Bismark, HMS Cossack and HMS Ark Royal? 

            a) Kit Kat            b) Wet Willie            c) Unsinkable Sam

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Q. 19:  What is the largest country in South America (a) by area and (b) by size of population? (A point for each correct answer.)

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Q. 20:  Who had a ‘Manic Monday’ and went on to ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ ?

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ANSWERS

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Q.  1:  According to a survey conducted by Citrix, what percentage of people thought that stormy weather affects cloud computing?

            a) 1%           b) 15%           c) 51%           d) 85%

A.  1:  Unbelievably the correct answer is c) 51%.

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Q.  2:  What city is known as ‘The Harbor City’ ?

A.  2:  Sydney, Australia.

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Q.  3:  What is another name for the prairie wolf?

A.  3:  Coyote.

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Q.  4:  If your boss cuts your salary by 10% but offers to let you work 10% more to make up for it, should you accept?

A.  4:  You should NOT accept the offer. This is a percentage question. For example, if you made $10 per hour, a 10% cut in your salary would leave you with $9 per hour. Adding 10% back would only be 10% of $9, or 90 cents so you would end up with only $9.90.

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Q.  5:  Six men are widely accepted to be the Founding Fathers of the United States of America. What were their names? (You get a point for each correctly named and a bonus point if can correctly name all six.)

A.  5:  The six men are widely accepted to be the Founding Fathers of the United States of America are George Washington, John Adams, Thomas Jefferson, James Madison, Alexander Hamilton and, of course, Benjamin Franklin.

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Q.  6:  A follow-up question to # 5, which one of these Founding Fathers once wrote a scientific piece called ‘Fart Proudly’ ?

A.  6:  Benjamin Franklin wrote a scientific piece called Fart Proudly. It was all about farts.

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Q.  7:  What percentage of the Earth’s volcanoes are underwater?

            a) 10 %           b) 30 %           c) 50 %           d) 70 %           e) 90 %

A.  7:  The correct answer is e) 90% of all volcanoes are underwater.

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Q.  8:  In Greek mythology who attempted to escape from Crete by means of wings that his father constructed from feathers and wax, but flew too close to the Sun and perished when the wax melted?

A.  8:  Icarus.

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Q.  9:  And when we’re on the subject of flying, what area code would you use if you wanted to call the Kennedy Space Center in Florida?

A.  9:  The telephone area code for the Kennedy Space Center in Florida is ‘321’ which imitates the countdown before liftoff. It was assigned to the area, instead of suburban Chicago in November 1999 after a successful petition led by local resident Robert Osband. Try it out, call the Kennedy Space Center on (321) 867-5000.

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Q. 10:  What do you call the three sides of a right-angled triangle? (Hint, you get zero points for answering ‘A’, ‘B’ and ‘C’.)

A. 10:  They are called ‘opposite’, ‘adjacent’ and ‘hypotenuse’.

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Q. 11:  This one is the name of a famous Shakespeare tragedy and a multiplayer board game based on the popular game Reversi. What is it?

A. 11:  Othello.

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Q. 12:  What nationality is the famous musician Richard Clayderman and what instrument is associated with him? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 12:  Richard Clayderman is French and he is a pianist.

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Q. 13:  ‘Equatorial’, ‘Gulf Stream’ and ‘Humboldt’ are names give to what?

A. 13:  Ocean currents.

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Q. 14:  Russians consume about 6 times as much what as Americans?

            a) milk           b) coffee           c) tea           d) beer            e) spirits

A. 14:  The correct answer is c) tea, Russians also consume about 6 times as much tea as Americans.

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Q. 15:  Which paper format has the largest area, the ‘International A4’ as used for example in the UK or the ‘Letter’ format used in the United States?

A. 15:  A4 has the largest area. (A4 is 210 mm (8.25”) wide and 297 mm (11.75”) long or 62,370 m2, and US Letter is 216 mm (8.5”) wide by 279 mm (11”) long or 60,264 m2.)

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Q. 16:  There are seven main weight divisions used in professional boxing, what are they? (You get a point for each one you can name correctly and three bonus points if you get all seven correct.)

A. 16:  Although modern additions have been added, the seven main weight divisions used in professional boxing are ‘Flyweight’, ‘Bantamweight’, ‘Featherweight’, ‘Lightweight’, ‘Welterweight’, ‘Middleweight’ and ‘Heavyweight’.

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Q. 17:  What is the link between something to eat, something to drink, somewhere to go and something to call your daughter?

A. 17:  Margarita.

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Q. 18:  What was the name of the cat that survived the sinking of the Bismark, HMS Cossack and HMS Ark Royal? 

            a) Kit Kat            b) Wet Willie            c) Unsinkable Sam

A. 18:  The correct answer is c) Unsinkable Sam.

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Q. 19:  What is the largest country in South America (a) by area and (b) by size of population? (A point for each correct answer.)

A. 19:  The correct answers are (a) Brazil with an area of 8,514,877 Km2, and (b) Brazil with a population of more than 195.5 million.

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Q. 20:  Who had a ‘Manic Monday’ and went on to ‘Walk Like An Egyptian’ ?

A. 20:  The Bangles.

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More Random Samples From The Fasab Fact File

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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If its facts you want we have them!

So here is another selection.

If you can’t find something you don’t know in here then you know far too much.

Enjoy.

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did you know3

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“Kemo Sabe”, the name Tonto called The Lone Ranger

means “Soggy Shrub” in Navajo Indian.

The Tonto in Spanish means “a fool”.

Lone Ranger and Tonto

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Ketchup was sold in the 1830’s as medicine.

ketchup

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Killer whales have such a good sense of touch

that if you dropped a pill into a bucket

and feed it to the orca

it would eat the fish and spit out the pill.

Shamu_the_Killer_Whale_Sea_World_Orlando

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Kleenex tissues were originally used as filters in gas masks.

Kleenex

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Knitted socks discovered in Ancient Egyptian tombs

have been dated back as far as the 3rd century AD.

Oh mummy!

knitted socks

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Larry Lewis ran the 100 yard dash in 17.9 seconds in 1969,

there by setting a new world’s record

for runners in the 100 years or older class.

He was 101.

old-runner

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5% of Canadians don’t know the first 7 words of the Canadian anthem,

but know the first 9 of the American anthem.

Canadian Anthem

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7% of Americans don’t know the first 9 words of the American anthem,

but know the first 7 of the Canadian anthem.

American Anthem

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85,000,000 tons of paper are used each year in the U.S.

paper

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99% of the solar system’s mass is concentrated in the sun.

sun-etc

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There is a company in Taiwan makes dinnerware

out of wheat, so you can eat your plate.

wheat dinnerware

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About 70% of Americans who go to college

do it just to make more money.

(The rest are just avoiding reality for four more years.)

college

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America once issued a 5-cent bill.

5 Cent Bill

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The Aztec emperor Montezuma had a nephew named Cuitlahuac,

whose name meant “plenty of excrement.”

Now there’s revenge for you!

cuitlahuac_realista

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Clans of long ago that wanted to get rid of

their unwanted people without killing them

used to burn their houses down

– hence the expression “to get fired.”

youre-fired

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Donald Duck comics were banned from Finland

because he doesn’t wear pants

– the little pecker!

donald_duck

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Marijuana is not as chemically addictive

as is nicotine, alcohol, or caffeine.

One of the reasons marijuana is illegal today

is because in the 1930’s cotton growers lobbied against

hemp farmers whom they saw it as competition.

marijuana-leaf

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Special playing cards were issued to British pilots in WWII.

If captured, they could be soaked in water

and unfolded to reveal a map for escape.

map-card

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The three best-known western names in China are

Jesus Christ, Richard Nixon, and Elvis Presley.

Nixon and Elvis

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Lady Astor once told Winston Churchill,

‘If you were my husband, I would poison your coffee’.

To which Churchill replied,

‘If you were my wife, I would drink it’.

Astor vs Churchill

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I Have Finally Decided On My New Year’s Resolution – It’s 1024 x 768!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

Well, if you haven’t guessed already from the title, the year may be new but the puns probably aren’t!

But I figured if we get some of these in early then there’s a chance that the year will improve later.

Strap yourselves in. Here we go.

Enjoy.

Does chasing the American Dream not count as exercise?

american-dream 

Protons have mass?

I didn’t even know they were Catholic.

protons have mass 

Is Marx’s tomb a communist plot?

Marx tomb 

I was checking into a hotel the other week.

At the counter, a guy in front of me said curtly to the receptionist, “I hope the porn channel is disabled.”

Unbelievable what some people are into.

XXX 

I went for a job interview as a blacksmith yesterday.

He said, “Have you ever shoed a horse?”

I said, “No, but I once told a donkey to f*** off.”

Cartoon_Donkey_by_Airdin 

I’ll stop at nothing to avoid using negative numbers.

negative numbers 

An Englishman, a Frenchman, a Spaniard and a German are all standing watching a street performer do some excellent juggling. The juggler notices that the four gentlemen have a very poor view, so he stands up on a large wooden box and calls out,

“Can you all see me now?”

“Yes.”

“Oui.”

“Sí.”

“Ja.”

English French Spanish German 

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I’ve just taken up speed reading.

Last night I did war and peace in 20 seconds.

I know it’s only 3 words but it’s a start!

Speed Reading 

I can’t see an end.

I have no control and I don’t think there’s any escape.

I don’t even have a home anymore.

Definitely time for a new keyboard.

broken-keyboard 

“Watch Back to the Future:- Tomorrow, on Yesterday” WTF????

Back To The Future 

My laboratory assistant has invented a device that allows you to steal other people’s ideas and then permanently delete them from the subject’s memory. Why didn’t I think of that?

stealing ideas 

I’m always frank with my sexual partners.

Don’t want them knowing my real name, do I?

I'm Frank 

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It’s Anagram Sunday Again!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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It’s anagram Sunday again, folks.

Time for another selection of those hidden meaning word puzzles.

Enjoy.

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‘car has’ 

a crash

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‘circumstantial evidence’ 

can ruin a selected victim

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‘coins kept’ 

in pockets

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‘confessional’ 

on scale of sin

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‘dictionary’ 

indicatory

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‘fingertips’ 

finest grip

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‘fir cones’ 

conifers

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‘flamethrower’ 

oh, felt warmer

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‘George Bush’ 

he bugs Gore

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‘goodbye ‘

obey God

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‘Halley’s Comet’ 

shall yet come

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‘I run to escape’ 

a persecution

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‘ipod lover ‘

poor devil

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‘Jennifer Aniston’ 

fine in torn jeans

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‘listen’ 

silent

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Say Mad Man Gore Ran US?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Don’t worry, it’s not another political rant.

And nothing to do with the man who made a fortune peddling scare-mongering nonsense like cow farts are destroying the planet.

‘Say Mad Man Gore Ran US’ ……is…….‘More Sunday Anagrams!!!’

It’s a scary thought, though.

Enjoy the anagrams!

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‘Florence Nightingale’

Nigel, Fetch an Iron Leg

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‘Sycophant’ 

acts phony

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‘The Detectives’

detect thieves

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‘Salman Rushdie’

read, shun Islam

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‘Television programming’ 

permeating living rooms

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‘Debit card’ 

bad credit

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‘Naturalist’

A trails nut

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‘God save us all’

salvaged soul

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‘heavy rain’

hire a navy

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‘dormitory’

dirty room

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‘escape from alcatraz’ 

frozen cast in lame crap

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‘O Mister Newt Gingrich’ 

right wing censor time

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‘A telescope’ 

To see place

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‘Actor Sylvester Stallone’ 

Very cool talentless star

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‘Bruce Springsteen’ 

Creep brings tunes

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‘Hillary Clinton’

only I can thrill     

(Is feet tickling part of it?)

Biden gets feet tickled in vp debate
Biden gets feet tickled in vp debate

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The Great Escape

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

I won’t tell you exactly how I know about this story, let’s just say it was recounted in great detail by a very good friend of mine who, whilst he wasn’t part of this particular adventure, was also the unwilling recipient of Saddam Hussein’s hospitality for a while back before the first Gulf War in 1990. My thanks to him.

Following the Iraqi invasion of Kuwait in 1990 the United States, Britain, and their allies decided they would have to help out the Kuwaitis (it’s like they had oil or something, eh?) and they started to make very public plans to liberate that country. This would obviously involve attacks on Iraqi troops and on Iraq itself.

Saddam Hussein thought a good way to dissuade any bombing campaign against his country was to use American, British and European citizens who had been working in Iraq, as a ‘human shield’ against the bombs. Highly illegal and breaching the Geneva Convention and all that, but it was Saddam Hussein and what did he care about rules.

The workers were duly rounded up by Saddam’s men and either put under house arrest or confined in small compounds. They weren’t mistreated and had a limited amount of freedom, but still in the back of their minds they feared they were about to be used for real as that human shield and they knew that when the war started in earnest the bombing would be a necessary part of it.

Most of the ‘hostages’ sat tight in the hope that diplomatic negotiations would succeed and they would be released, which in fact is what did happen.

But a few intrepid souls, who worked for a construction company, decided that they would mount an escape and head for the border. Maybe they had been watching a DVD of The Great Escape or something the night before, I don’t know.

They gathered up supplies of food and as much water as they could carry and in the dead of night they set off. It was relatively easy for them to get out of the hostage compound because the Iraqis knew that no one in their right mind would try to escape, especially on foot. The only thing outside Bagdad was desert, and lots of it.

In what passed for a plan, the would-be escapees had figured that their best bet would be to head for Jordan. Syria was deemed to be too unfriendly and would probably shoot them or send them back to Iraq. The border to the north was far too far away and the terrain was harsh. And the border between Iraq and Iran they reckoned could well be mined because of the war that had just ended less than two years previously between the two states.

So west it was, a long journey, but they set off in good spirits and their confidence level high.

Because of the heat during the day they had decided they would make the best progress if they walked by night and rested by day. A sensible enough strategy. And so that is what they did. Night after night after night they walked and in the daytime found a place to shelter and rested as best they could. They also made very sure that they rationed their meager supplies of food and especially water.

Although none of them really knew what they were talking about, they figured that it would take a week to ten days to make it to the border. But what they had not figured out was that travelling by night is a very different proposition to the daytime.

Still, on and on they went until almost a week had gone by. Their supplies were dwindling fast, but they were still okay for a few more days at least. Then, on the eighth night, they had a remarkable stroke of luck. They came to a high wire fence. They had made it to the Iraq/Jordan border AND they had done it a couple of days quicker than estimated.

They were jubilant.

After congratulating each other all over the place, slapping backs and so forth, they set about digging their way under the fence. They hadn’t any tools with them, but it wasn’t a hard job and after twenty minutes or so they had cleared enough debris to allow them to slide underneath the wire, one at a time, and cross over into Jordanian territory.

When they had crossed the fence there were more celebrations. Then they rested for a little while, but not long. They were safe now, but the adrenalin boost caused by making it safely into Jordan was pulsing through their veins and they all agreed that they should press on and sooner or later they would encounter Jordanian border guards or make it to a village. Either way they could replenish their supplies and get a much needed clean up.

Sure enough, less than an hour or so later, as it was getting light they spotted an army jeep in the distance. They started waving and shouting and eventually the soldiers in the jeep spotted them and made their way over to where they were. A soldier, who they supposed was the officer in charge got out of the jeep and walked over to them.

The leader of the escape gang, who spoke a little Arabic, welcomed the soldier, and as best he could explained that they were hostages and had just escaped across the border after several hard days and nights travelling through the desert.

The soldier grinned and then started to laugh. He said something to his comrades and they too began to laugh. The intrepid escapees joined in, not at all sure what they were laughing at, but assuming the Jordanian soldiers were happy that someone had pulled a fast one over the Iraqis.

Everyone was so happy.

The Jordanian commander told one of his men to send a radio message and a few moments later another jeep and a small canvas topped lorry arrived. The soldiers indicated that the six escapees should get into the back of the lorry, which they duly did and sat down three on each side on the small bench. Two of the soldiers got in along with them.

And off they went. They drove for about ten minutes and then made it to a hard surfaced road. About another ten or fifteen minutes after that the escapees started to notice buildings. They had never seen a Jordanian village, but they assumed this was what they looked like. Then a short time later the lorry stopped.

The two soldiers jumped out first and indicated that the escapees should follow, which they did. But when they were on the ground and had gathered their wits about them they saw that there were a lot of people around, but they were all in uniform. There didn’t seem to be any civilians around at all.

Maybe they had been evacuated because of the imminent hostilities? They couldn’t really figure it out.

But then the penny slowly started to drop into place.

Our intrepid escapees had not made it across the border.

Nor were they in a Jordanian village.

What they had managed to do was march for days through the desert, probably in all directions but a straight line, and ended up still in Iraq.

Not only that but the fence they had encountered and carefully dug their way under was not the border fence between Iraq and Jordan, it was the fence surrounding an Iraqi army camp. And that’s where they now were! These soldiers were Saddam’s troops, not Jordanians.

I really wish I could have seen the look of disbelief, confusion, disappointment and incredulity on their faces.

The Iraqis could have shot them. But they were so busy laughing they would probably have missed. Instead, after the hilarity had passed, they allowed the escapees to get cleaned up, probably more for soldiers’ benefit rather than the would-be escapees, and then put them on another lorry to be driven back to Baghdad.

The great escape was over.
http://youtu.be/xkwmIDx9RwQ

Have you had similar experiences? Send them along. Let the world know what is happening before it is too late.