Give Us A Job Too!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Today is a continuation of last Saturday’s post which was about the idiots that we employ these days.

Even when some of them get only one simple job to do they find a way of messing it up.

Lack of pride, concentration, interest, I don’t know, but here are some more of the results.

Enjoy.

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Give Us A Job!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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I’m not sure what exactly happened or when it happened but things have changed in the employment world.

It used to be when you gave someone a job they were thankful not only for the opportunity to work and earn some money, but also for the chance to do something and better themselves. They had pride in what they did no matter what their job was.

Some of that still exists. But it is rare. Today many people seem to just want the money and couldn’t care less about the work they do.

It’s a pity and it is a terrible thing for the country as a whole. Whether it will ever change or not I don’t know. For what it’s worth my opinion is that once standards are lost they are very difficult to regain.

Having said all that, however, if you can momentarily set aside the frustration of trying to work with the dumb asses you have to employ these days it can sometimes make life a bit more amusing.

Here are a few examples.

Enjoy.

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I’m Beginning To Feel I’m Bean Stalked!

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Yes, it’s pun day, the day we all love  –  well most of us do anyway.

Enjoy this latest selection!

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When does a cow make the most noise?

When she’s feeling moooooody!

moody-cow_design

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I recently found a round, black piece of plastic, with

a hole in the middle and grooves on both sides.

I picked it up and threw it.

It flew for more than 300 yards.

I’m sure that must have been a record.

vinyl-record

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There was a ghost at the hotel,

so they called for an inn spectre.

ghost hotel

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Me and my friends are in a band called Duvet.

We’re a cover band.

Cartoon_Rock_Band

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Messing with your computer’s memory chip

can have lasting RAMifications

memory chip ram

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My girlfriend got sacked from work and then lost her appeal.

I only found her appealing because she had a well paid job.

trump-youre-fired

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This one is just messed up.

messed up

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I sell balloons for 10p each or if you want them blown up it’s 15p.

I’ve adjusted the price to allow for inflation.

balloon seller cartoon

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A picture may be worth a thousand words,

but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

a_picture_is_worth_1000_words

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I lost my mood ring.

I don’t know how I feel about this.

Mood-Chart-Color

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I beat my wife up this morning.

She got up at 7.30, I was up at 7.

sleeping_wife

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Why did I divide sin by tan?

Just cos.

sin divided by tan

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With her marriage she got a new name and a dress.

wedding cartoon

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I was recently asked about my views on euthanasia.

I said they all look the same to me.

Youth-in-Asia

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Nostalgia.

It’s not what it used to be.

nostalgia

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I just received an envelope marked – Photographs Do Not Bend.

The Mailman has, however, proven that they do.

Photos Do Not Bend

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I fell on my arm and had to have an operation on my funny bone.

I was in stitches for two weeks.

stitches

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I’ve just got my son a flat piece of cardboard for Christmas.

Although what he wants with an ex box I’ll never know.

cardboard box flat

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A man goes home to his wife and shows her his

latest tattoo of a spreadsheet on his chest.

“You’ve really Excelled yourself this time!” she says.

tattoo-non-vat-spreadsheet

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When a hospital runs out of maternity nurses

do they have a mid-wife crisis?

Midwife-Crisis

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Significant Number Factoid Friday – Today The Number Is One Hundred And Fifty 150

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for another significant number factoid Friday.

Today the number is one hundred and fifty, 150.

These are just some of the things that are associated with that number.

Enjoy.

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One Hundred And Fifty  150

150.

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In religion

  • There are 150 Psalms in the Bible, the authorship of which is usually ascribed to King David, although scholars now believe that they are the work of several authors.
  • Psalm comes from the Greek psalmos, a song sung to a harp. Some ultra-orthodox Protestant sects (like the Free Church of Scotland) forbid the singing of any hymns that aren’t psalms.
  • The last Psalm in the Bible, Psalm 150, is perhaps the one most often set to music.

Psalm_150

  • The number of sons of Ulam, who were combat archers, in the Census of the men of Israel upon return from exile (I Chronicles 8:40)

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In mathematics

  • 150 is the sum of eight consecutive primes (7 + 11 + 13 + 17 + 19 + 23 + 29 + 31).
  • Given 150, the Mertens function returns 0.
  • In 150BC the Greek Stoic philosopher and polymath, Crates of Mallos, while laid up in Rome, staved off boredom by constructing the world’s first 3D globe. It showed four symmetrical land masses, separated by water and a central ocean.
  • The Professor’s cube is a 5 x 5 x 5 version of Rubik’s cube (which is 3 x 3 x 3). It has 150 coloured squares.

Professors_cube 

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In science

  • Steven Austad, a health researcher at the University of Texas, believes that children who are alive today could easily live to 150.
  • Based purely on body size, when compared with other mammals, humans shouldn’t live more than 30-40 years. But our large brain enables us to live in complex social groups that give us protection. The evidence is there in other species: solitary wasps have a lifespan of two weeks but social wasps live for three years.
  • In much the same way lions, which are sociable creatures, live longer than tigers, which are solitary. Austad is so sure that someone alive today will still be here in the year 2150 that he has placed a bet on it with a friend. Presumably he also believes that he will be around to collect.
  • The only animal currently capable of living for 150 years is the giant tortoise.

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  • Dunbar’s number
  • Dunbar’s number is a suggested cognitive limit to the number of people with whom one can maintain stable social relationships. These are relationships in which an individual knows who each person is, and how each person relates to every other person.
  • Proponents assert that numbers larger than this generally require more restrictive rules, laws, and enforced norms to maintain a stable, cohesive group. It has been proposed to lie between 100 and 230, with a commonly used value of 150.
  • Dunbar’s number states the number of people one knows and keeps social contact with, and it does not include the number of people known personally with a ceased social relationship, nor people just generally known with a lack of persistent social relationship, a number which might be much higher and likely depends on long-term memory size.
  • Dunbar’s number was first proposed by British anthropologist Robin Dunbar, who theorized that “this limit is a direct function of relative neocortex size, and that this in turn limits group size … the limit imposed by neocortical processing capacity is simply on the number of individuals with whom a stable inter-personal relationship can be maintained.” On the periphery, the number also includes past colleagues such as high school friends with whom a person would want to reacquaint themself if they met again.

dunbar's number

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In space

  • The number of degrees in the quincunx astrological aspect explored by Johannes Kepler.

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In politics

  • The 150th country to join the United Nations was Saint Vincent and the Grenadines, on September 16, 1980;
  • United Nations Security Council Resolution 150 recommended to the General Assembly that the Republic of the Ivory Coast be admitted to membership in the United Nations;
  • European Union Council Regulation (EC) No 150/2003 of 21 January 2003 is regarding suspending import duties on certain weapons and military equipment;
  • US Congress Senate Bill 150 amends the federal criminal code to ban the import, sale, manufacture, transfer, or possession of a semiautomatic assault weapon, including  semiautomatic rifles, semiautomatic pistols, semiautomatic shotguns, etc., that can accept a detachable magazine and has any one of the following characteristics: (1) a pistol grip; (2) a forward grip; (3) a folding, telescoping, or detachable stock; (4) a grenade or rocket launcher; (5) a barrel shroud; or (6) a threaded barrel.

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In sport

  • In cricket 150 runs is a milestone for a batsman.
  • In Round 20 of the 2011 AFL season, Geelong inflicted the worst ever defeat on the Gold Coast Suns by 150 points.

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In books, music, movies and TV

  • Gibson Guitar Corp.
  • Gibson Guitar Corp. is an American maker of guitars and other instruments, now based in Nashville, Tennessee.
  • Orville Gibson founded the company in 1902 as as “The Gibson Mandolin-Guitar Mfg. Co., Ltd.” in Kalamazoo, Michigan to make mandolin-family instruments.
  • Gibson invented archtop guitars by constructing the same type of carved, arched tops used on violins. By the 1930s, the company was also making flattop acoustic guitars, as well as one of the first commercially available hollow-body electric guitars, used and popularized by Charlie Christian.
  • It was bought by Chicago Musical Instruments in 1944, which was then acquired by the E.C.L. conglomerate that changed its name to Norlin Inc. This was seen as the beginning of an era of mismanagement.
  • Gibson sells guitars under a variety of brand names and built one of the world’s most iconic guitars, the Gibson Les Paul. Many Gibson instruments are among the most collectible guitars.
  • It has produced various models with the ’15 ‘ designation including:
  • Acoustic guitars J-150 Maple  L-150 Custom
  • Electric guitars ES-150  EM-150 Mandolin (1936-1971)
Gibson j-150
The Gibson J-150

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  • The song “30/30-150” by Stone Sour

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In transportation

  • Triumph Trident T150
  • Triumph Engineering Co Ltd was a British motorcycle manufacturing company, based originally in Coventry and then in Solihull at Meriden. A new company, Triumph Motorcycles Ltd based in Hinckley gained the name rights after the end of the company in the 1980s and is now one of the world’s major motorcycle manufacturers producing models like the Trident T150.

Triumph Trident T150

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  • Suzuki Raider 150
  • The Suzuki Raider 150 is one of the fastest motorcycles in the underbone category. It uses the 150 cc (9.2 cu in) DOHC four-valve single-cylinder oil-cooled Suzuki FXR150 engine, with a 6 speed transmission. The frame, rear swing arm, rear suspension, seat and front brakes are redesigned from the Suzuki FX125 chassis, making it more aerodynamic.
  • Its popularity in South East Asia, mainly in Thailand, Indonesia and Philippines, is due to the price of this bike—around US$1850 (90,000 to 92,001 pesos or around 16,500,001 rupiah in Indonesia).
  • Also called the Suzuki Satria 150 in Indonesia.

Suzuki_Raider_150_Thailand

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  • Suzuki GS150R
  • The Suzuki GS150R is a 150cc bike from Suzuki Motorcycle India.
  • The Suzuki GS150R was launched on November 2008and marked the entry of Suzuki Motorcycle India into the highly competitive 150 cc segment of the Indian two wheelers market.
  • Suzuki Motorcycle India states that the bike falls in between the two classes of Indian 150 cc motorcycles, namely commuter class and premium class. The GS150R has a sixth gear for cruising on high-ways.

Suzuki GS150R

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  • Bajaj Pulsar 150
  • The Bajaj Pulsar is a motorcycle brand owned by Bajaj Auto in India. The two wheeler was developed by the product engineering division of Bajaj Auto in association with Tokyo R&D, and later with motorcycle designer Glynn Kerr. Currently there are five variants available, with engine capacities of 135 cc, 150 cc, 180 cc, 200 cc, and 220 cc.
  • With an average monthly sales of around 86,000 units in 2011, Pulsar claimed a 2011 market share of 47% in its segment. By April 2012, more than five million units of Pulsar were sold.
  • The Bike was named after the Nissan Pulsar from 1978 to 2007.

Bajaj-Pulsar-150

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  • Ford F-150
  • The F-Series is a series of full-size pickup trucks from Ford Motor Company which has been sold continuously for over six decades.
  • The most popular variant of the F-Series is the F-150.
  • It was the best-selling vehicle in the United States for 24 years, and the best-selling truck for 37 years. It was also the best selling vehicle in Canada, though this does not include combined sales of GM pickup trucks.
  • In the tenth generation of the F-series, the F-250 and F-350 changed body style in 1998 and joined the Super Duty series.

Ford-F-150

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  • Ford E-150
  • The Ford E-Series, formerly known as the Ford Econoline and Ford Club Wagon, is a line of full-size vans (both cargo and passenger) and truck chassis from the Ford Motor Company.
  • The line was introduced in 1961 as a compact van and its descendants are still produced today.
  • Although based on its own platform, since 1968, the E-Series has used many components from the F-Series line of pickup trucks.
  • The Econoline is manufactured solely at Ford’s Ohio Assembly plant in Avon Lake, Ohio—after the closure of the Lorain, Ohio plant in December 2005 and the consolidation of all production at Avon Lake.
  • As of the 2012 model year, the E-Series and the Transit Connect compact MPV (which debuted for the 2010 model year) are the only vans in the Ford lineup in North America.
  • The Ford E-Series currently holds 79.6% of the full-size van market in the United States and since 1980, it has been the best selling American full-sized van.
  • Ninety-five percent of van sales are to commercial or fleet-end users, about half are cargo vans.
  • In early 2007, the E-Series was listed by Autodata as one of the top 20 best-selling vehicles in the United States, most likely due to fleet sales.

Ford E-150 Van

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  • Mercedes Benz
  • Renowned German automotive manufacturer Mercedes Benz has produced several models with the150 designation including the Mercedes Benz A-150 and the Mercedes Benz B-150.

mercedes_benz_b_150

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  • Cesna C-150
  • The Cessna 150 is a typical example of the small piston-powered aircraft produced by the Cessna Aircraft Company, a general aviation aircraft manufacturing corporation headquartered in Wichita, Kansas, USA.
  • Cessna also produces business jets. The company is a subsidiary of the U.S. conglomerate Textron.

Cessna C-150

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  • Gulfstream G150
  • The Gulfstream G100, formerly known as the Astra SPX, is an Israel Aircraft Industries-manufactured twin-engine business jet, now produced for Gulfstream Aerospace.
  • Astra evolved from the Rockwell Jet Commander aircraft, for which IAI had purchased the manufacturing license in 1968, and the IAI Westwind. The Astra wing design was modified and with a completely new fuselage created the Galaxy (later the Gulfstream G200) business jet during the 1990s.
  • In September 2002 Gulfstream announced the improved G150, based on the G100. This new variant was due in 2005. It has been FAA certified for steep approach.
  • The United States Air Force designation for the G100 is C-38 Courier and it is used by the District of Columbia Air National Guard; by the United States Air Force with the 201st Airlift Squadron at Andrews Air Force Base in Maryland. The C-38 has replaced the earlier C-21 Learjet. The C-38 differs from the standard Gulfstream G100, featuring US military-grade GPS, Tactical Air Navigation, UHF and VHF secure command radio, and Identification friend or foe system

Gulfstream-G150

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In militaria

  • USS Blakeley (DD–150)
  • The second USS Blakeley (DD–150) was a Wickes-class destroyer in the United States Navy, named for Captain Johnston Blakeley.
  • Built in 1918, she saw patrol duty along the East Coast of the United States during the interwar era.
  • Decommissioned for several years, she returned to duty at the outset of World War II. She spent much of the war on convoy patrol duty in the Caribbean.
  • On 25 May 1942, while on patrol, she was struck by a torpedo fired by German submarine U-156, which blew off her forward 60 feet (18 m). Fitted with temporary measures, she steamed to Philadelphia Naval Yard where she was fitted with the forward section of sister ship USS Taylor.
  • She spent much of the rest of the war on convoy patrol duty before being sold for scrap in 1945.

USS Blakeley DD-150

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  • USS H-7 (SS-150)
  • USS H-7 (SS-150) was an H-class submarine that served in active duty with the United States Navy from 1918-1922.
  • The Imperial Russian Navy ordered 18 H-class submarines from the Electric Boat Company in 1915. Eleven were delivered, and served as the American Holland class submarines, but shipment of the final six was held up pending the outcome of the Russian Revolution of 1917, and the boats were stored in knockdown condition at Vancouver, British Columbia. All six were purchased by the U.S. Navy on 20 May 1918 and assembled at Puget Sound Navy Yard.
  • H-7 was launched on 17 October 1918 and commissioned on 24 October with Lieutenant Edmund A. Crenshaw in command.
  • The submarine, attached to Submarine Division 6 (SubDiv 6) and later to SubDiv 7, operated out of San Pedro, California, on various battle and training exercises with the other ships of her division. She also patrolled out of San Pedro with interruptions for overhaul at Mare Island.
  • H-7 reached Norfolk on 14 September 1922, having sailed from San Pedro on 25 July, and decommissioned there on 23 October. Her name was struck from the Naval Vessel Register on 26 February 1931. She was sold for scrapping on 28 November 1933.

USS_H-7_SS-150underway,_circa_1922

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  • USS Neunzer (DE-150)
  • USS Neunzer (DE-150) was an Edsall-class destroyer escort built for the U.S. Navy during World War II. She was named in honor of Machinist Weimar Edmund Neunzer, who was killed in action 2 July 1942 during the Aleutian Islands Campaign and was posthumously awarded the Air Medal.
  • Designed to take the place of fleet destroyers on convoy duty, the destroyer escorts proved their worth in long miles of steaming on escort and antisubmarine duties. Their efforts played a major role in defeating German submarine depredations at a time when the U-boats were threatening to cut Allied supply lines.

USS Neunzer DE150

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  • A-150 – The Batleship that never was.
  • Design A-150, also known as the Super Yamato class,[A 1] was an Imperial Japanese plan for a class of battleships. Begun in 1938–39, the design was mostly complete by 1941. However, so that a demand for other types of warships could be met, all work on Design A-150 was halted and no keels were laid.
  • Authors William H. Garzke and Robert O. Dulin have argued that Design A-150 would have been the “most powerful battleships in history” because of the massive size of their main battery of eight 510 mm (20 in) guns as well as numerous smaller caliber weapons

A-150 Battleship Super Yamato Class

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  • T-150 Tank
  • The T-150 is a Soviet tier 6 heavy tank and was a further development of the KV-1.
  • The vehicle weighed as much as 50 tons. The T-150 underwent trials in the first half of 1941.
  • A prototype fought in the battles for Leningrad, and became a basis for a modification of the KV-1 with reinforced armor.
  • Despite its name, the T-150 is an upgraded KV-1. It has the same chassis and turret, with some notable improvements. Additional armor has been added to the hull, a considerably more powerful engine is available, and perhaps most importantly, it can mount the 107 mm ZiS-6 gun

t150_tank

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  • Cadillac Gage Commando
  • The Cadillac Gage Commando is a 4×4 amphibious armored car built by the American firm Cadillac Gage.
  • The vehicle has been outfitted for many roles, including armored personnel carrier, ambulance, fire apparatus, anti-tank vehicle, and mortar carrier.
  • They saw service in the Vietnam war where it became known as the Duck, or the V.
  • It was also supplied to many American allies, including Lebanon and Saudi Arabia which used them in the first major ground engagement of the Persian Gulf War.
  • No longer produced, it has been largely replaced by the M1117 Armored Security Vehicle, which was developed as tougher alternative to up-armored Humvees.

Cadillac_Gage_V150_decoupe_USA_01

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  • M150 (PAM)
  • M150 Penetration Augmented Munition (PAM) is a portable explosive device developed for U.S. Army infantry units, especially for Special Operations Forces.
  • It is mainly used to destroy massive concrete structures like bridge piers or bunker walls.
  • Each device has a main high explosive charge and a two-stage, hole-drilling shaped charge.
  • It is regarded as a high-precision blasting device rather than a simple bomb.

m150-PAM

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  • M150 Rifle Combat Optic
  • Due to the lack of lethality of the M16 and M4 at the increased ranges encountered in Afghanistan but you can’t hit what you can’t see. One of the Army’s answers to this quandary is the M150 Rifle Combat Optic (RCO) which is is designed to increase the probability of a first-round hit at distances up to 600 meters.

M150 Rifle Combat Optic

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  • The Puckle gun
  • The Puckle gun (also known as the Defence gun) was invented in 1718 by James Puckle (1667–1724) a British inventor, lawyer and writer.
  • It is a tripod-mounted, single-barreled flintlock weapon fitted with a multi-shot revolving cylinder. It was intended for shipboard use to prevent boarding.
  • The barrel was 3 feet (0.91 m) long with a bore of 1.25 inches (32 mm). It had a pre-loaded cylinder which held 11 charges and could fire 63 shots in seven minutes—this at a time when the standard soldier’s musket could at best be loaded and fired three times per minute.
  • Puckle demonstrated two versions of the basic design: one, intended for use against Christian enemies, fired conventional round bullets, while the second variant, designed to be used against the Muslim Turks, fired square bullets. The square bullets were considered to be more damaging. They would, according to the patent, convince the Turks of the “benefits of Christian civilization.” The square bullets, however, were discontinued due to their unpredictable flight pattern.
  • The Puckle Gun drew few investors and never achieved mass production or sales to the British armed forces, mostly because British gunsmiths at the time could not easily make the weapon’s many complicated components.
  • One newspaper of the period sarcastically observed, following the business venture’s failure, that the gun has “only wounded those who hold shares therein”.

puckle-gun-150

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  • 150 couples
  • In the fourth century BC, the most feared squad of the Theban army was made up of 150 homo-sexual couples. They were called the Sacred Band of Thebes, and were established by Gorgidas in 378-BC.
  • His romantic idea was that lovers would fight more fiercely at each other’s sides than strangers. This notion proved highly successful until the Battle of Chaeronea (338-BC) when the Athenian-Theban army was overrun by Philip II of Macedon, father of Alexander the Great.

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Other Stuff

  • Cities located on Longtitude 150°W: Anchorage and Fairbanks, Alaska; and, Papeete, French Polynesia;
  • Cities located on Longtitude 150°E: Rockhampton, Queensland; and, Wollongong, New South Wales, Australia; Magadan, Russia;
  • The world record for solving a Rubik’s cube is 7.08 seconds, held by 21-year-old Dutchman Erik Akkersdik, who has solved the puzzle with his feet in just 90 seconds;
  • The total number of Power Stars in Super Mario 64 DS for the Nintendo DS;
  • M-150 (energy drink), an energy drink from Thailand;

M150-2

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There Comes A Time When Zero Tolerance Is The Only Option

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Time for another rant, now known as the Sunday Sermon.

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For many years there has been an influx of Muslims into Western countries like, for example, America and Britain. And for years these people arrived and set to work to provide a better life for their families, which was reason they chose our countries in the first place.

Sometimes we treated them with respect. At other times their treatment was not so welcoming. But the vast majority accepted things as they were and worked hard, with the result that they did make a better life for themselves.

However, now all of a sudden, because of the rants of a few demented and evil clerics who have corrupted the words of Allah and the meaning of the Koran, some Muslims are now offended by everything, including the very presence of the citizens of the countries they have chosen to come and live among.

How absurd is that?

Worse, however, is that we are supposed to pander to this nonsense and tippy toe around them afraid to do or say anything in case it will be distorted and manufactured into something offensive.

And if we don’t?

Well then they will cut our head’s off in the middle of a street and stand bragging about it afterwards.

That is exactly what happened in London this week when Drummer Lee Rigby, a British soldier, was first knocked down by a car driven by two blood-thirsty killers and then decapitated as he lay helpless on the street.  

murdered soldier Drummer Lee Rigby
murdered soldier Drummer Lee Rigby

On any scale of things that are offensive, it just doesn’t get any more offensive than that.

Yet we are supposed to tolerate the intolerable and excuse the inexcusable!

Let’s get real folks.

Some things are unacceptable in western society. And if you choose to live in western society then you live by our rules, not yours.

When I visit a Muslim country where, for example, drinking alcohol is forbidden, I don’t put on the pretense of being offended, I don’t whine about my rights being denied, in fact I don’t complain at all. I am in their country, those are their rules, and while I am there I am happy to respect them and abide by them.

Why is there no reciprocal respect any more?

And even more to the point, why is that reciprocal respect not demanded?

We have allowed our politicians to cloud the issue by blundering about in foreign lands. They say they are doing it to fight terrorism and protect us, but in reality it has much more to do with securing commodities and distracting us from much more serious economic problems they have created at home.

Politicians manipulate their people by creating ‘bogey men’ and fomenting fear where none should really exist. They do it, not for the benefit of their constituents, but for their own self promotion and their attempt to cling on to power. It happens in every country, east or west, north or south, and it has been happening for centuries.

And what is happening to elements of the Muslim population today is no different. In their case the manipulation is made slightly easier because the evil clerics are able to deceive their largely uneducated and ignorant followers with the promise of seventy virgins and a place in heaven if they either kill themselves or other innocent people – preferably both at the same time. Strange, if the reward is so great, that you never see the clerics themselves pushing to the front of the queue to participate!  

There is a horrible trend nowadays that standards must be allowed to come down to the lowest level. Exams in schools and degrees at universities have to be made easier and easier to pass, lest some be deemed not to have qualified. Everyone has to be treated as a potential terrorist at airports in case selective targeting of possible suspects be labeled as racial or ethnic profiling. And every effort has to be made try to understand and excuse the criminals in our society who prey on the law-abiding.

We have completely lost our way. And the only solution is to take a stand on these important issues. Try to be nice, and understanding, and liked by everyone and you doom yourself and your society. There comes a time when the proverbial line has to be drawn in the sand. And there comes a time when zero tolerance is the only option.

That time is now!

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Do You Need Help?

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Now and again people have said to me, “You need help.” And I’m not just talking about people who read this blog. They mean it in a caring way I’m sure and indeed there are occasions when a little help would be very welcome.

This is especially so in business. In these cases you are even willing to pay for that help, but you still have the problem of letting people know that you have a job for them.

So what do you do?

You advertise the available positions, of course.

Sounds easy?

Well, for most of us it is. For the intellectually challenged not so much.

Take a look at this lot below and you’ll see what I mean.

Enjoy!

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Feeble Fallout From Facebook’s Financial Floatation Flop

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Remember this post from way back towards the end of May 2012?

 Furious Flabbergasted Facebook Fools Face Frightening Falls From Fanciful Flagging Financial Flotation Farce. 

As well as being the biggest F’ing title ever seen on a WordPress blog, it drew attention to the debacle that was the much heralded launch of Facebook shares on the stock market.

facebook ipo

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Well, the fallout from what is now being called the IPOcalypse continues.

The head honcho at Nasdaq has had his CEO’s bonus slashed because of it, and rightly so.

But don’t start feeling sorry him just yet. Even with a slash he will still be taking home a $1.3m bonus, slightly north of half a million dollars lighter than it would have been, but still enough to get by on.

Oh yes, and that’s bonus on top of his $1 million salary!

Others at Nasdaq have also been penalized, including Anna Ewing, VP in charge of “technical glitches” that messed up the first day of trading. Her bonus was cut by over a quarter of a million dollars. But keep those hankies where they are, she is still left with a $574,125 bonus for the year.

Losses for angry brokers and traders from the botched IPO, on the other hand, have been estimated at around $500m. Nasdaq has approved just $62m in compensation, I suppose they needed the rest of their money to pay out the bonuses?

Like the banksters, it all begs the question of just how incompetent do you have to be in the financial industry to not just lose your bonus, but lose your job as well?

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The Weirdest Of Coincidences

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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The hospital was just like any other.

It had accident and emergency, medical, surgical and all the other usual departments and wards. It also had an Intensive Care Unit, well staffed and managed, just like any other.

Except that this Intensive Care Unit wasn’t just like any other. Patients kept dying in this unit.

Not only that, but they always died in the same bed, and at the same time, on Sunday mornings at about 11:00 am, regardless of their medical condition. 

It had been that way for a while and doctors, nurses and the hospital management were not only puzzled, but rather nervous too.

What could possibly be the reason? The laws of probability made this occurrence way more than one in a million.

Some even thought it had to have something to do with the super natural.

Had something terrible happened in that ward sometime in the past?

Was the hospital built on the site of some awful tragedy that had taken place years ago?

Was there some kind of portal to another dimension where evil entities could enter and leave?

There were many more questions than answers, but no one could solve the mystery as to why the deaths always occurred in the same bed and around the same time, 11:00 am Sunday.

Eventually a worldwide team of experts was assembled to investigate the cause of the incidents. It included scientists, medical experts, a crew with electronic detection equipment, several clergymen  and even a medium. 

They were prepared for anything and everything.

Or so they thought.

The next Sunday morning, a few minutes before 11:00 am all of the doctors and nurses nervously waited with the team of experts outside the ward to see for themselves what the terrible phenomenon was all about. 

Some were holding wooden crosses, others prayer books and other holy objects to ward off the evil spirits. 

Then, just when the clock struck 11:00 am, the ward door suddenly burst open.

The crowd of watchers gasped.

Pookie Johnson, the part-time Sunday sweeper, entered the ward.

He walked over to the wall beside the offending bed, unplugged the life support system and plugged in his vacuum cleaner.

Turns out the culprit was Pookie and not a spookie after all.

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The hospital cleaner

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US Politics & Foreign Policy for Dummies

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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A bit of a change from numbers this Friday.

I found this piece which purports to explain and enlighten us about US politics.

It is in the form of a conversation between a father and his child and as children do, some very telling questions are asked to which the answers are to say the least confusing.

Some of it is a little bit dated, but the basic principles hold good today. It highlights yet again the deeply flawed thinking that is still behind the decisions that affect us all.

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foreign policy for dummies

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Q: Daddy, why did we have to attack Iraq?

A: Because they had weapons of mass destruction honey.

 

Q: But the inspectors didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction.

A: That’s because the Iraqis were hiding them.

 

Q: And that’s why we invaded Iraq?

A: Yep. Invasions always work better than inspections.

 

Q: But after we invaded them, we STILL didn’t find any weapons of mass destruction, did we?

A: That’s because the weapons are so well hidden. Don’t worry, we’ll find something eventually.

 

Q: Why did Iraq want all those weapons of mass destruction?

A: To use them in a war, silly.

 

Q: I’m confused. If they had all those weapons that they planned to use in a war, then why didn’t they use any of those weapons when we went to war with them?

A: Well, obviously they didn’t want anyone to know they had those weapons, so they chose to die by the thousands rather than defend themselves.

 

Q: That doesn’t make sense Daddy. Why would they choose to die if they had all those big weapons to fight us back with?

A: It’s a different culture. It’s not supposed to make sense.

 

Q: I don’t know about you, but I don’t think they had any of those weapons our government said they did.

A: Well, you know, it doesn’t matter whether or not they had those weapons. We had another good reason to invade them anyway.

 

Q: And what was that?

A: Even if Iraq didn’t have weapons of mass destruction, Saddam Hussein was a cruel dictator, which is another good reason to invade another country.

 

Q: Why? What does a cruel dictator do that makes it OK to invade his country?

A: Well, for one thing, he tortured his own people.

 

Q: Kind of like what they do in China?

A: Don’t go comparing China to Iraq. China is a good economic competitor, where millions of people work for slave wages in sweatshops to make U.S. corporations richer.

 

Q: So if a country lets its people be exploited for American corporate gain, it’s a good country, even if that country tortures people?

A: Right.

 

Q: Why were people in Iraq being tortured?

A: For political crimes, mostly, like criticizing the government. People who criticized the government in Iraq were sent to prison and tortured.

 

Q: Isn’t that exactly what happens in China?

A: I told you, China is different.

 

Q: What’s the difference between China and Iraq?

A: Well, for one thing, Iraq was ruled by the Ba’ath party, while China is Communist.

 

Q: Didn’t you once tell me Communists were bad?

A: No, just Cuban Communists are bad.

 

Q: How are the Cuban Communists bad?

A: Well, for one thing, people who criticize the government in Cuba are sent to prison and tortured.

 

Q: Like in Iraq?

A: Exactly.

 

Q: And like in China, too?

A: I told you, China’s a good economic competitor. Cuba, on the other hand, is not.

 

Q: How come Cuba isn’t a good economic competitor?

A: Well, you see, back in the early 1960s, our government passed some laws that made it illegal for Americans to trade or do any business with Cuba until they stopped being Communists and started being capitalists like us.

 

Q: But if we got rid of those laws, opened up trade with Cuba, and started doing business with them, wouldn’t that help the Cubans become capitalists?

A: Don’t be a smart-ass.

 

Q: I didn’t think I was being one.

A: Well, anyway, they also don’t have freedom of religion in Cuba.

 

Q: Kind of like China and the Falun Gong movement?

A: I told you, stop saying bad things about China. Anyway, Saddam Hussein came to power through a military coup, so he’s not really a legitimate leader anyway.

 

Q: What’s a military coup?

A: That’s when a military general takes over the government of a country by force, instead of holding free elections like we do in the United States.

 

Q: Didn’t the ruler of Pakistan come to power by a military coup?

A: You mean General Pervez Musharraf? Uh, yeah, he did, but Pakistan is our friend.

 

Q: Why is Pakistan our friend if their leader is illegitimate?

A: I never said Pervez Musharraf was illegitimate.

 

Q: Didn’t you just say a military general who comes to power by forcibly overthrowing the legitimate government of a nation is an illegitimate leader?

A: Only Saddam Hussein. Pervez Musharraf is our friend, because he helped us invade Afghanistan.

 

Q: Why did we invade Afghanistan?

A: Because of what they did to us on September 11th.

 

Q: What did Afghanistan do to us on September 11th?

A: Well, on September 11th, nineteen men, fifteen of them Saudi Arabians, hijacked four airplanes and flew three of them into buildings, killing over 3,000 Americans.

 

Q: So how did Afghanistan figure into all that?

A: Afghanistan was where those bad men trained, under the oppressive rule of the Taliban.

 

Q: Aren’t the Taliban those bad radical Islamics who chopped off people’s heads and hands?

A: Yes, that’s exactly who they were. Not only did they chop off people’s heads and hands, but they oppressed women, too.

 

Q: Didn’t the Bush administration give the Taliban $43 million dollars back in May of 2001?

A: Yes, but that money was a reward because they did such a good job fighting drugs.

 

Q: Fighting drugs?

A: Yes, the Taliban were very helpful in stopping people from growing opium poppies.

 

Q: How did they do such a good job?

A: Simple. If people were caught growing opium poppies, the Taliban would have their hands and heads cut off.

 

Q: So, when the Taliban cut off people’s heads and hands for growing flowers, that was OK, but not if they cut people’s heads and hands off for other reasons?

A: Yes. It’s OK with us if radical Islamic fundamentalists cut off people’s hands for growing flowers, but it’s cruel if they cut off people’s hands for stealing bread.

 

Q: Don’t they also cut off people’s hands and heads in Saudi Arabia?

A: That’s different. Afghanistan was ruled by a tyrannical patriarchy that oppressed women and forced them to wear burqas whenever they were in public, with death by stoning as the penalty for women who did not comply.

 

Q: Don’t Saudi women have to wear burqas in public, too?

A: No, Saudi women merely wear a traditional Islamic body covering.

 

Q: What’s the difference?

A: The traditional Islamic covering worn by Saudi women is a modest yet fashionable garment that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers. The burqa, on the other hand, is an evil tool of patriarchal oppression that covers all of a woman’s body except for her eyes and fingers.

 

Q: It sounds like the same thing with a different name.

A: Now, don’t go comparing Afghanistan and Saudi Arabia. The Saudis are our friends.

 

Q: But I thought you said 15 of the 19 hijackers on September 11th were from Saudi Arabia.

A: Yes, but they trained in Afghanistan.

 

Q: Who trained them?

A: A very bad man named Osama bin Laden.

 

Q: Was he from Afghanistan?

A: Uh, no, he was from Saudi Arabia too. But he was a bad man, a very bad man.

 

Q: I seem to recall he was our friend once.

A: Only when we helped him and the mujahadeen repel the Soviet invasion of Afghanistan back in the 1980s.

 

Q: Who are the Soviets? Was that the Evil Communist Empire Ronald Reagan talked about?

A: There are no more Soviets. The Soviet Union broke up in 1990 or thereabouts, and now they have elections and capitalism like us. We call them Russians now.

 

Q: So the Soviets – I mean, the Russians – are now our friends?

A: Well, not really. You see, they were our friends for many years after they stopped being Soviets, but then they decided not to support our invasion of Iraq, so we’re mad at them now. We’re also mad at the French and the Germans because they didn’t help us invade Iraq either.

 

Q: So the French and Germans are evil, too?

A: Not exactly evil, but just bad enough that we had to rename French fries and French toast to Freedom Fries and Freedom Toast.

 

Q: Do we always rename foods whenever another country doesn’t do what we want them to do?

A: No, we just do that to our friends. Our enemies, we invade.

 

Q: But wasn’t Iraq one of our friends back in the 1980s?

A: Well, yeah. For a while.

 

Q: Was Saddam Hussein ruler of Iraq back then?

A: Yes, but at the time he was fighting against Iran, which made him our friend, temporarily.

 

Q: Why did that make him our friend?

A: Because at that time, Iran was our enemy.

 

Q: Isn’t that when he gassed the Kurds?

A: Yeah, but since he was fighting against Iran at the time, we looked the other way, to show him we were his friend.

 

Q: So anyone who fights against one of our enemies automatically becomes our friend?

A: Most of the time, yes.

 

Q: And anyone who fights against one of our friends is automatically an enemy?

A: Sometimes that’s true, too. However, if American corporations can profit by selling weapons to both sides at the same time, all the better.

 

Q: Why?

A: Because war is good for the economy, which means war is good for America. Also, since God is on America’s side, anyone who opposes war is a godless un-American Communist. Do you understand now why we attacked Iraq?

 

Q: I think so. We attacked them because God wanted us to, right?

A: Yes.

 

Q: But how did we know God wanted us to attack Iraq?

A: Well, you see, God personally speaks to George W. Bush and tells him what to do.

 

Q: So basically, what you’re saying is that we attacked Iraq because George W. Bush hears voices in his head?

A: Yes! You finally understand how the world works. Now close your eyes, make yourself comfortable, and go to sleep. Good night.

 

Q: Good night, Daddy.

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politics for dummies

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Things Your Grand-kids Will Probably Never Know

“Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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We all happen to be living during a time when there are great advances and changes being made in the way we live our lives. Some of them are to our benefit, other not so much so.

Politically and financially the world is in turmoil. There is an accelerating and inevitable shift of power and influence towards the east, with former great powers like Britain and America declining in their influence and their economic might.

Perhaps that is a natural phenomenon, after all as they say “every dog has its day”, but I happen to believe that a lot of it is due to stupidity and mismanagement allied with a self-defeating philosophy that the west somehow has a duty to police the world and to create nanny states for its citizens where they will neither have to work nor want.

Technologically there have also been many changes and many more to come. During the past twenty years with the advent and growth of the internet everything has changed, from the way we interact socially, to how and where we work, and how we manage our affairs whether that be banking, shopping or whatever.

What a lot of these changes mean is that future generations will have no idea of how our lives used to be. Already many of us who have lived through the changes have forgotten how we used to have to do things. What would it be like trying to explain the ‘old days’ to a generation with absolutely no point of reference to the world we were born into?

To remind you of how it used to be here is a list of some of things we have known and lost, consigned to the rubbish bin of history. Feel free to add your own items to this list of things that your grand-kids will probably never know.

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Libraries as a place to get books rather than a place to use the internet.

Dewey Decimal System

Finding books in a card catalog at the library.

A physical dictionary — either for spelling or definitions.

Reference books such as phone books, encyclopaedias

Finding out information from an encyclopedia.

library_cartoon

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Having to manually unlock a car door.

Looking out the window during a long drive.

Using a road atlas to get from A to B.

Getting lost in a world without GPS.

gps_cartoon

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Being able to add and subtract without a calculator

Long division and multiplication

Trig tables and log tables.

Slide rules

Slide Rule

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House phones

Phone books and Yellow Pages.

Rotary-dial telephones.

Pay phones.

Phones with actual bells in them.

Answering machines.

Fax machines.

Not knowing who was calling you on the phone.

rotary_ringing_telephone

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Super-8 movies and cine film of all kinds.

Betamax tapes.

Video tapes and renting movies

Inserting a VHS tape into a VCR to watch a movie or to record something.

Laserdiscs.

8-track cartridges.

8-Track-tape-Player

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Casette Tapes

Vinyl records. Even today’s DJs are going laptop or CD.

CDs and DVDs

Playing music on an audio tape using a personal stereo.

Taping songs off the radio

A Walkman.

cassette tape

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Rotary tuners that scanned the radio dial and hearing static between stations as you went through the ether.

Shortwave radio.

CB radios.

Rotary dial televisions with no remote control. You know, the ones where the kids were the remote control.

Waiting for the television-network premiere to watch a movie after its run at the theater.

old_radio

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DOS.

The buzz of a dot-matrix printer

5- and 3-inch floppies, Zip Discs and countless other forms of data storage.

Booting your computer off of a floppy disk.

Tweaking the volume setting on your tape deck to get a computer game to load, and waiting ages for it to actually do it.

Counting in kilobytes.

Joysticks.

Having to delete something to make room on your hard drive.

Waiting several minutes (or even hours!) to download something.

When a ‘geek’ and a ‘nerd’ were one and the same.

NCSA Mosaic.

Netscape

Alta Vista

Being able to get a domain name consisting of real words.

floppy disk

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Cash.

Writing a check.

Doing bank business only when the bank is open.

Shopping only during the day, Monday to Saturday.

Being able to buy something in Walmart that isn’t made in China

cash

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Privacy.

Being able to take a drive or walk down the street without being surveilled on numerous cameras

Not knowing exactly what all of your friends are doing and thinking at every moment.

big-brother-thought-police-cjmadden

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Carrying on a correspondence with real letters, especially the handwritten kind.

Neat handwriting.

Spelling

Grammar

The fact that words generally don’t have num8er5 in them.

Typewriters.

typewriter

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Putting film in your camera

Sending that film away to be processed.

Having physical prints of photographs come back to you.

Film_Strip

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Vacuum cleaners with bags in them.

Ashtrays

Roller skates, as opposed to blades.

Ashtray

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