Ugh, Communism Just Has No Class.

 “Fight Against Stupidity And Bureaucracy”

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Communism may have no class but clever word play certainly does.

That’s our cue for another Pun Day.

Enjoy or endure!

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rofl

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I’m against picketing,

but I don’t know how to show it.

against picketing

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I saw a man walking along the street

with a t-shirt that said ‘Free Hugs’.

I don’t know who ‘Hugs’ is,

but I’m sure they should release him.

t-shirt 'Free Hugs'

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I went for a job interview at 

my local sandwich shop today.

As an aptitude test, the shop owner

asked me to make a beef sandwich

using only a spoon.

Unfortunately I didn’t get the job

– I couldn’t cut the mustard.

sandwich shop

 

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A committee is a group of people

who keep minutes and lose hours.

A committee

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I was given the sack at work last month.

I suppose you have to expect that

when you play Santa Clause.

play Santa Clause

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I can’t speak for anyone else,

but I think I’m a terrible ventriloquist.

terrible ventriloquist

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My girlfriend talked me into putting

table salt into my bath today.

I think I’ve been brine washed.

table salt into my bath

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I saw a strange white bear at the zoo today.

It was mating with a female bear then it

suddenly it tried mating with a male bear.

I think it’s Bi Polar.

white bear at the zoo

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Never employ someone who’s obsessed with graphs.

They’ll always be plotting behind your back.

graph

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I got a real telling off yesterday

when we were visiting grandma.

She has a very hairy upper lip

and when we were leaving, she asked

me why I wouldn’t kiss her good bye.

Apparently my answer, “Sorry, must-dash,”

wasn’t the best choice of words.

hairy upper lip

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How does an angry Muslim close a door?

Islams it.

door slam

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I’ve just seen a sign in the post office that said

“Stamps sold by the book”.

It’s good to know that someone follows the rules.

book of stamps

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I decided to open an

exclusive hotel and casino

for people who have epilepsy.

It’s called Seizure’s Palace.

Seizure's Palace

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I went to the pet shop to buy some breeding birds.

The cashier said, “Have you got a store card?”

I said, “No but I did get a budgie excited once.”

pet shop

.

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My friend has just rung to say

he’s bought a bubble car.

He’s going to pop round in it later.

bubble car

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